Films of 2012?

Most of the films I've watched this year have been old movies, and, let's face it, Kurosawa and Satyajit Ray piss on anything made today.

But here's what I've seen this year. You can even call me a bias Brit, as some of the best new movies I saw in 2012 were probably, and surprisingly, made in the UK:

Man on a Ledge - I thought this would be a concept movie that would enthral and intrigue. In the end it was just bog standard mainstream pap with a gimmick.

Bindlestiffs - Mock video camera footage of three virgins on an adventure. I only watched it because Kevin Smith was a producer, and I mistakenly thought he was more involved with it. But... it was watchable.

A Thousand Words - Formulaic Eddie Murphy comedy that was held back for years before being released. It's amazing that someone who was a topline star can just appear in predictable movies that fail to challenge in any way.

Avengers Assemble - This was okay, but it started to get on my **** after a while. The constant deconstruction and post-modern dialogue just ground me down over its overlong runtime. But it was watchable, and Johannsen's ass was lovely.

Skyfall - Pretty good new James Bond movie. Nothing groundbreaking - he goes to foreign places and shoots people before ****ing lots of women - but it was decent.

Piggy - So-so Green Teef vigilante movie. It wasn't bad, but nothing I didn't feel I hadn't seen before. Lots of times.

The Dictator - Surprisingly okay albeit lazy Sacha Baron Cohen movie. I say "surprisingly" as, while his other movies have been good, this one looked dreadful.

Men In Black 3 - Pretty alright sequel to some throwaway popcorn movies. I never really got the bad rep the second one has... it's not as if the first is Citizen Kane, is it?

Prometheus - I saw this in 2D, as I've got a friend who's blind in one eye and so can't watch 3D movies. I told him to buy a new eye, but he wouldn't have it, selfish prick. This was okay, but I won't bother to see it again.

Ill Manors - This was one of the better ones, set in a rough end of London where a load of Green Teefs go around prostituting each other and shooting people. Depressing but engaging.

Seeking a Friend for the End of the World - Nice offbeat indie Yank black comedy, featuring Steve Carrell, with Keira Knightley giving one of her least **** performances. Worth a look.

Ted - Amusing stuff.

The Amazing Spider-Man - hard not to question the point of it, and it drags towards the end, but this was a pretty good reboot of a series that's only just finished.

The Dark Knight Rises - Batman gets his spine broken. Someone punches it back in, and it's better than ever. Michael Caine gets to say loads of dialogue so bad it's a wonder he didn't piss himself while doing it. Not an awful film, but a disappointing sequel.

Dredd - This one surprised me. Not exactly highbrow stuff, but one of the best films I've seen this year, for what it is. Forget the Stallone stuff, the source material is a 70s indie comic strip.

The Watch - ****ing awful "comedy", with all concerned operating well below their usual standards.

Total Recall - Ironically, it's a film you'll forget about as soon as you leave the cinema.

Expendables 2 - The first was "so **** it's good". This one is just so **** it's ****.

Cosmopolis - David Cronenberg's latest. Impenetrable in many ways, and I have to confess I didn't quite "get it". I like that. It's nice that there are still films being made that try and go over your head, when so many are way beneath it.

Looper - A pretty good SF movie, one of the best of the year, for what it is.

Chronicle - Hard to believe this was 2012, seems so long ago now. A good one.

My BS is ****ed, btw... if I post more than three paragraphs it just won't post. This has been going on for 12 months now, the same in Firefox and Google Chrome... any ideas?

[talip bin osman]

some films you might have missed...

the hunger games... i thought it was ok... definitely cashing in on adolecents' penchant for violence, love triangles and pop culture... i heard it was a rip-off from an anime entitled battle royale... i have read the trilogy of "games" but haven't watched "royale..." so i can't say for sure...

the grey... its man against nature, and nature through a badass pack of wolves winning... the scene at the end of the credits notwithstanding...

cabin at the woods... im not sure if this was shown this year but of all the the slasher flicks i've seen, this is definitely top tier... yeah, the archetypal ingredients of a slasher flicks are all present... a slut, a geek, a choir girl, a jock and a hippie and the unstoppable weird ass killer... what sets it apart though is the presence of people controlling the "reality" of the characters... somewhat akin to andrew niccols' truman show...

here is a confession... i watched more classics and indies than the mainstream flicks released this year...

Classics and indies always score over mainstream pap, don't they?

I have seen Cabin in the Woods, ISTR it came out in 2012 in the UK, but it was a 2011 movie in Fat Yankland, so I didn't include it. I thought it was okay.

[talip bin osman]

how can i forget kevin macdonald's "marley?"

a docu- film about reggae legend bob marley... it was a fine docu tracing bob's hybrid lineage, to his childhood, his musical influences, religious belief, his polygamy up to his death...

my favorite part was the way he was shown collaborating with fellow legend peter tosh...

good stuff...