The Mouse
12-26-2002, 12:31 PM
My BDSM, from birth ‘till present.
I remember when ordinary pleasures would arouse me and ultimately fulfill my desires for personal gratification. As I look back upon how I was before, I see how much I have changed as I am some one completely different. No longer will sex or masturbation completely fulfill me like it once did. I have moved forth into a world of s/m, as well as the psychological aspect of domination and bondage. While both sections are quite different, they coexist together in the exploration and understanding of each other. This has been going on for sometime, increasing heavily as time progresses and molding me into who I am today.
My first time was with the sensations of a single-tail whip against the bare flesh of my back. Though beginners don’t usually start with the single-tail because of its intensity, I wanted to feel it for I knew what I wanted from the very start. Completely satisfied after the session as my back throbbed, I sat on the couch with my girlfriend who had come with me. With her sitting next to me on that couch, I knew right then that she could never satisfy me like the whip had; or any girl for that matter. For it was on that night that I was born into the extreme pleasures that pain could bring.
I would go regularly to different bondage and s/m clubs, mainly one named The Dungeon. This is where I met Sal and his students, who were experts and extremely knowledgeable of the world as they made their living in it as well as having extreme passion for it. They generously welcomed me into their circle and invited me to private parties outside of the clubs, where we could greater understand and appreciate this complex world without the boundaries of laws that wrapped around us at the clubs. It is here where I not only was able to reach deep inside of myself and greater understand my needs, but where I learned about the social attributes of the world along with its unspoken rules of the trade.
The term Vanilla refers to the social and economic group of those who are outside of the world of bondage and s/m and are rather closed minded about the whole idea. Like the Vanilla crowd of the world, there are common social attributes that are common within the world of bdsm that may be viewed harshly in the eyes of closed minded, Vanilla. A man, (or woman), is one of three characteristics. The first one is Top, which is the person who drives pleasure from domination and/or the giving of pain. Bottom, is referred to the person who derived pleasure from being submissive and/or receiving pain. And the third, which is harder to come-by, is the person who derives pleasure from being both the Top and Bottom. A Top may have a personal play partner, play with many, or even have a personal full-time slave. Bottom may have an owner, in which case he would be considered “leashed” and no one can play with him unless they asked the owner first.
I am considered a Switch, as I derive pleasure from beating and dominating others; as well as receiving pain. Throughout my involvement and birth into the world of bdsm, I have generally found my preferences and what I enjoy most. As a Bottom I enjoy whipping with a single-tail and a bull-whip across the naked flesh of my back, controlled electrocution, nipple torture, flogging, and newly added to my list of pleasures is the sensation of burning and cutting my own flesh. As a Top I enjoy the thought of pure domination of another person, as well as giving them as much pain as possible, taking pleasure in every moan and movement of their tormented and quivering body.
I have changed in many ways over the past years. To say that the person who lived five years ago is not me; wouldn’t be accurate. I am still who I was, but now I am more complex and understand myself better. Though sexual pleasure is still a strong desire in my life, it is not at the same level as it used to be as I have found other ways to feel gratified and fulfilled. I am still caring, loving, and understanding. I am still the same person, yet I am some one completely different as I am enlightened and born into the more extreme pleasures that this life has to offer. Life is short, I want to experience everything is has to offer me before it is taken away from me.
I remember when ordinary pleasures would arouse me and ultimately fulfill my desires for personal gratification. As I look back upon how I was before, I see how much I have changed as I am some one completely different. No longer will sex or masturbation completely fulfill me like it once did. I have moved forth into a world of s/m, as well as the psychological aspect of domination and bondage. While both sections are quite different, they coexist together in the exploration and understanding of each other. This has been going on for sometime, increasing heavily as time progresses and molding me into who I am today.
My first time was with the sensations of a single-tail whip against the bare flesh of my back. Though beginners don’t usually start with the single-tail because of its intensity, I wanted to feel it for I knew what I wanted from the very start. Completely satisfied after the session as my back throbbed, I sat on the couch with my girlfriend who had come with me. With her sitting next to me on that couch, I knew right then that she could never satisfy me like the whip had; or any girl for that matter. For it was on that night that I was born into the extreme pleasures that pain could bring.
I would go regularly to different bondage and s/m clubs, mainly one named The Dungeon. This is where I met Sal and his students, who were experts and extremely knowledgeable of the world as they made their living in it as well as having extreme passion for it. They generously welcomed me into their circle and invited me to private parties outside of the clubs, where we could greater understand and appreciate this complex world without the boundaries of laws that wrapped around us at the clubs. It is here where I not only was able to reach deep inside of myself and greater understand my needs, but where I learned about the social attributes of the world along with its unspoken rules of the trade.
The term Vanilla refers to the social and economic group of those who are outside of the world of bondage and s/m and are rather closed minded about the whole idea. Like the Vanilla crowd of the world, there are common social attributes that are common within the world of bdsm that may be viewed harshly in the eyes of closed minded, Vanilla. A man, (or woman), is one of three characteristics. The first one is Top, which is the person who drives pleasure from domination and/or the giving of pain. Bottom, is referred to the person who derived pleasure from being submissive and/or receiving pain. And the third, which is harder to come-by, is the person who derives pleasure from being both the Top and Bottom. A Top may have a personal play partner, play with many, or even have a personal full-time slave. Bottom may have an owner, in which case he would be considered “leashed” and no one can play with him unless they asked the owner first.
I am considered a Switch, as I derive pleasure from beating and dominating others; as well as receiving pain. Throughout my involvement and birth into the world of bdsm, I have generally found my preferences and what I enjoy most. As a Bottom I enjoy whipping with a single-tail and a bull-whip across the naked flesh of my back, controlled electrocution, nipple torture, flogging, and newly added to my list of pleasures is the sensation of burning and cutting my own flesh. As a Top I enjoy the thought of pure domination of another person, as well as giving them as much pain as possible, taking pleasure in every moan and movement of their tormented and quivering body.
I have changed in many ways over the past years. To say that the person who lived five years ago is not me; wouldn’t be accurate. I am still who I was, but now I am more complex and understand myself better. Though sexual pleasure is still a strong desire in my life, it is not at the same level as it used to be as I have found other ways to feel gratified and fulfilled. I am still caring, loving, and understanding. I am still the same person, yet I am some one completely different as I am enlightened and born into the more extreme pleasures that this life has to offer. Life is short, I want to experience everything is has to offer me before it is taken away from me.