TheHoff!
11-11-2006, 10:19 PM
Right, in the spirit of all these limey awards I’ve given ratings to all of you Limey ****ers. You’ve all been given gifts, and in the message to go with your gift you’ve been graded. There are five categories and each of you has been rated on your abilities with the tongue.
The following is an explanation of how and why you have been given your rating. I will start with the lowest category and work my way up to the highest status of licker.
The Arse Licker
You have brought shame on you and your family. You repeatedly lick the arse...and you bring no pleasure to the anus your tongue is inserted into. You have no skills and your tongue fumbles around the puckered arsehole blindly. Repent forthwith, then renew your licking efforts and you may progress, but be warned, 99 percent of arse lickers remain an arse licker for the rest of their life.
The Tit Licker
You are merely a youth just beginning to set out upon your licking escapades. You may have nibbled a nipple and had a wee sucky sucky on the odd breasticle here and there, but your skills are lacking son. You have never ventured down below into the nether regions of juicy lust to test your licking skills on a vagina (or **** for that matter) and thus you have not yet developed the licking skills that you will need to survive in this cruel world. However, work hard and you will progress. You are still young and have the world at your tongue.
The Finger Licker
In the army of Lickers you are a foot soldier. A brute who may lack subtlety but you get the job done somehow. You have mastered tit licking but are far from the all around licker, as although you have attempted to lick the cunt you are not efficient at it...thus your licking efforts these days are confined to licking your fingers after you have digitally pleasured a lady (or man). Do not despair though, you are the mainstay of the licking community and without you there would be nothing.
The **** Licker
Your tongue is highly talented and brings enormous pleasure to whomever you choose to lick. You have licked many a clit in your time and can bring a lady to orgasm within 3.3 seconds flat. You are admired and highly thought of among your fellow lickers...however, your taste for the **** far outweighs your hunger for the fanny. This means you shall eternally be branded a **** licker, even though you may munch on a minge now and again. You are officially a homo gay licker...but you still may rejoice in your status, for although a mans David Seaman is no match for the ladies love juices, the **** is good too.
The Cunt Licker
You are at the pinnacle. Your tongue is revered and your fellow man looks up to you as a god among the licking fraternity. Be grateful for the power and high esteem your skills have brought you. Ladies shiver and spread their legs a little as soon as they see you and men would love to have your lips around their bulbous head...but you my son are a cunt licker and only the best vaginas will do for you. No hairy man meat will pass by your lips. When your friends greet you in the street they shout “CUNT LICKER, I SALUTE THEE!”
edit: the shop ran out of gifts so i'll have to rate the rest of you ****ers some other time...needless to say though Anorak and Oasis Lad are **** lickers and the one and only Shanus is a supreme cunt licker.
Happy Licking!
The following is an explanation of how and why you have been given your rating. I will start with the lowest category and work my way up to the highest status of licker.
The Arse Licker
You have brought shame on you and your family. You repeatedly lick the arse...and you bring no pleasure to the anus your tongue is inserted into. You have no skills and your tongue fumbles around the puckered arsehole blindly. Repent forthwith, then renew your licking efforts and you may progress, but be warned, 99 percent of arse lickers remain an arse licker for the rest of their life.
The Tit Licker
You are merely a youth just beginning to set out upon your licking escapades. You may have nibbled a nipple and had a wee sucky sucky on the odd breasticle here and there, but your skills are lacking son. You have never ventured down below into the nether regions of juicy lust to test your licking skills on a vagina (or **** for that matter) and thus you have not yet developed the licking skills that you will need to survive in this cruel world. However, work hard and you will progress. You are still young and have the world at your tongue.
The Finger Licker
In the army of Lickers you are a foot soldier. A brute who may lack subtlety but you get the job done somehow. You have mastered tit licking but are far from the all around licker, as although you have attempted to lick the cunt you are not efficient at it...thus your licking efforts these days are confined to licking your fingers after you have digitally pleasured a lady (or man). Do not despair though, you are the mainstay of the licking community and without you there would be nothing.
The **** Licker
Your tongue is highly talented and brings enormous pleasure to whomever you choose to lick. You have licked many a clit in your time and can bring a lady to orgasm within 3.3 seconds flat. You are admired and highly thought of among your fellow lickers...however, your taste for the **** far outweighs your hunger for the fanny. This means you shall eternally be branded a **** licker, even though you may munch on a minge now and again. You are officially a homo gay licker...but you still may rejoice in your status, for although a mans David Seaman is no match for the ladies love juices, the **** is good too.
The Cunt Licker
You are at the pinnacle. Your tongue is revered and your fellow man looks up to you as a god among the licking fraternity. Be grateful for the power and high esteem your skills have brought you. Ladies shiver and spread their legs a little as soon as they see you and men would love to have your lips around their bulbous head...but you my son are a cunt licker and only the best vaginas will do for you. No hairy man meat will pass by your lips. When your friends greet you in the street they shout “CUNT LICKER, I SALUTE THEE!”
edit: the shop ran out of gifts so i'll have to rate the rest of you ****ers some other time...needless to say though Anorak and Oasis Lad are **** lickers and the one and only Shanus is a supreme cunt licker.
Happy Licking!