this is a dumb ****in letter i recieved from a dumb ****in kid named Chris,
and this is how i responded:

Dear Santa, I wood like a kool toy space ranjur for Xmas.
Iv ben a good boy all yeer.
YeR FReND,
ChRIs

Dear Chris,
Nice spelling. You're on your way to being a monkey
trainer. How 'bout I send you a ****ing book so you can
learn to read and write? I'm giving your older brother
the space ranger.
Santa

this is from a little dumb little girl named allison:

Dear Santa,
I have been a good girl all year, and the only thing I
ask for is peace and joy in the world for everybody!
Love,
allison

Dear Allison,
You're parents smoked pot when they had you, didn't they?
Santa

this is a little ****face named Money:

Dear Santa,
I've written you for three years now asking for a fire
truck. Please, I really really want a fire truck this year!
Love,
Money

Dear Money,
Let me make it up to you. While you sleep, I'm gonna
torch your house. You'll have more fire trucks than
you'll know what to do with.
Santa

This is Teddy..... who the **** names their kids Teddy? :

Dear Santa,
I don't know if you can do this, but for Christmas,
I'd like for my mommy and daddy to get back together.
Please see what you can do.
Love,
Teddy

Dear Teddy,
What, and ruin that hot affair your dad's still having
with the baby-sitter? He's banging her like a screen
door in a hurricane! Let me get you some nice LEGOs
instead.
Santa

this is Michelle....... i hate this name, its like a guys name mike but has some ***** slur to it.....

Dear Santa,
I need more Pokemon cards please! All my friends have
more Pokemon cards than me. Please see what you can do.
Love,
Michelle

Dear Michelle,
It blows my ****ing mind. Kids are forcing their parents
to buy hundreds of dollars worth of these stupid cards,
and none of you snot-nosed brats are even learning to
play the game. Let me get you something more your
speed, like "Chutes and Ladders."
Santa

and oh! Little Pal Johnson.......
always thinking about Santa ;)

Dear Santa,
I left milk and cookies for you under the tree, and I
left carrots for your reindeer outside the backdoor.
Love,
Pal

Dear Pal,
Milk gives me the ****s and carrots make the deer shoot
air biscuits in my face. You want to be a kiss-ass?
Leave me a glass of Chivas Regal and some Toblerone.
Santa

lol, I love santa

[quote:2b7e03840c="Bzob"]lol, I love santa[/quote:2b7e03840c]

Here is my newest letter, some little **** stain named Bob:

Dear Santa,
What do you do the other 364 days of the year?
Are you making toys?
Your friend,
Bob

Dear Bob,
All toys get made in China. I have a condo in Vegas, where
I spend most my time picking up prostitutes and losing
all my cash at the craps table.
Hey, YOU asked!
Santa

this is a kid i personally know....
Dave Hojak..

Dear Santa,
Do you see us when we're sleeping, do you really know
when we're awake, like in the song?
Love,
Hojak

Dear Dave,
Are you that gullible? Good luck in whatever you do,
I'm skipping your house...

Santa

This is Dereka, she is my favorite:

Dear Santa,
I really really want a puppy this year. Please, please,
please, PLEASE, PLEASE, could I have one?
Dereka

Dereka,

That whiney begging **** may work with your others, but
that crap don't work up here. You're getting this dick again.

Santa

[quote:8f91180d5c="Dogg"][quote:8f91180d5c="Bzob"]lol, I love santa[/quote:8f91180d5c]

Here is my newest letter, some little **** stain named Bob:

Dear Santa,
What do you do the other 364 days of the year?
Are you making toys?
Your friend,
Bob

Dear Bob,
All toys get made in China. I have a condo in Vegas, where
I spend most my time picking up prostitutes and losing
all my cash at the craps table.
Hey, YOU asked!
Santa[/quote:8f91180d5c]



you bastard

Hahahaha!

[quote:896e069796="Azn"]Hahahaha![/quote:896e069796]

This is a young girl named Tammy:

Dearest Santa,
We don't have a chimney in our house, how do you get
into our home?

Love, AzN

Tammy,
First of all, stop calling yourself "AzN," that's
why you're getting your ass whipped at school.
Secondly, you don't live in a house, that's a low-rent
apartment complex you're living in. Thirdly, I get
inside your pad just like all the burglars do, through
your bedroom window.

Sweet Dreams!
Santa

****in' ass! FYI, the N isn't capitalized.

suck poo poo corn outta my butt

[quote:71a99aa4d1="Dogg"]This is Dereka, she is my favorite:

Dear Santa,
I really really want a puppy this year. Please, please,
please, PLEASE, PLEASE, could I have one?
Dereka

Dereka,

That whiney begging **** may work with your others, but
that crap don't work up here. You're getting this dick again.

Santa[/quote:71a99aa4d1]

Dick? Again? Damn, and I thought I had been a good girl this year :?

Bwahahahaha.
I LOVE CHRISTMAS!

[quote:360bb670a5="lil'surfer girl"] I thought I had been a good girl this year :?[/quote:360bb670a5]

you know what thought did?

thought thought he had to fart and **** his pants. don't think my love...... KNOW!

could you send a police car do Money to...

Your santa?

I always figured you for one of the elvis

Could you give pal, some staright ****. It's not his fault. he just doesn't know any better.

Could you decipher your last post for me gman?

i just did.

Thank you.