Earlier this week....fate caught up the the Croodile Hunter, beloved Father, Husband,Hero to children and the child in all of us.

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"Oh Crikey...I may be in a bit o trouble lads...better pop the top back on thet Fosters..."

With savage fury the Stingray...normally a docile creature struck its barb deep into the heart of the Fearless One!



With steel determination Steve pulled the bard from his slowing torn heart....and a resounding clang reverberated throughout the universe...

Clang!

That clang was the cosmic force recognizing balls....

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In the Earth heaven Yahovah, a grey righteous dude with a passion for the Rock and Lennox, the Canadian Heavyweight Lion noted the clang. He had only heard that sound a few times...usually when a hero dies a ball wrenching death...the Rock, the Duke, ...

Yahovah flipped the channel to the souls alert on the cloud high def...courtesy of the large influx of Japanese chimps late WW11.
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As the image of Steve pulling the barb from his bloodied chest seared into his grey brain..Yahovah...the chimps gawd...the one they called Jehovah, Yahwey, GOD, LORD, Daddio of Jaysus...made a split decision.


Yahovah reversed the image and processes it through the tranporter computer breaking the image down into its base digital code....and then watched as it eliminated all digital representative of the biological..until a mere 28 grams of digital energy remained...Steves soul.

Yahovah strolled to a close freezer and pulled out a trolley. As the frozen crytals began to melt he rolled the luppy earthern clay soil into a preformed mold. He pushed 2 buttons on the side and energy pounded into the clayish soil....

At the 7 minute mark the energy subsided. Yahova aimed the transporter and fired the 28 grams of digital energy into the mold. Humming, he unlocked the mold, reached in and pulled the shape out and walked to a vat. Yahovah placed the shape into the vat juice and intoned...'Life"

The vat juice boiled and bubbled. Suddenly, with a tremendous frothing a shape hurtled up out of the vat.

"Crikey...thet was a close one, I thought i was a goner when thet sand....ummmm... http://img201.imageshack.us/img201/1215/unsurebo6.gif
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Yahovah smiled at Steve and spoke.

"Hello Steve...this is going to take a bit to get yer head around...but yer mission on Earth as yew knew it ended....but yew got balls boy and i couldnt jest let ya die....now, ya see thet there prober..it aint a gay thing there Stevie lad...but a spritual joining of two species and yer going to hook up wit Ray, n doodle, n Joey,, n clod n Gus n Coyoten and all the dawgs and yer...

Chimps been dissing the man fer his lifestyle..I had a chance to visit the man...he fought Ju-Uanne Ru-ezze three times...poor fecker!

Atlanta

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Evander Holyfield answered the door to his mansion in Atlanta, and damn near passed out faster than Dayglow ejaculating at a Japanese Female Sumo rassling championship. Standing at the doorway, stood Ray the Gray and a person best described as the spitting image of G.I.Joe. From the spit polished boots , up through the numerous medals to the top of his helmeted head, the person screamed military training and bearing. Before Evander could collect himself , the military person balled up his fists, threw his head back, and screamed

"Ten-Shun,you one eared whore mongering bastard..this here is Commander Ray the Grey!!" The military man continued " Commander Ray respectfully requests an urgent meeting with you, and it best be happenning quick..i am a ****en ex -Marine ...hurry man, the ****s could be anywhere"

Evander was flumoxed. This happened often with Evander when he had to deal with the real world outside of the boxing ring and the bowling alley located in the back end of his mansion. He stared at the Marine, back to Ray...this went on for four minutes while he slowly worked out in his head what he was going to do. During this time, the Marine bent over to Ray and whispered in his ear "this nuthugger looks like a h_omo..can i kill em..dont like h_omos...we make them enter the navy in the military son." http://img84.imageshack.us/img84/5084/gayfightbd1.gif

Ray, well aware that Evander no longer contained his full facilities, whispered loudly to the Marine

" Now now, USCM , you must remember, Evander is slow of mind. Terrible things have happened to Evander in his life..he isnt anywhere like when i first met him.....Rays blue luminious eyes drift upward ,and he flashbacked to the early1990,s...a young Evander had attended an open air religious revival officiated by Minister Shylock Grey,in the hopes that the good minister might find the holy spirit calling him to perform a miracle, and allow Evander to regrow his mangled ear.

Evander had not been able to wear a hat properly since losing his ear in the ring, and was tired of children teasing him. Evander has attempted to chase the children away, but his eyesight was shot and he lost them in crowds....Evander had not been able to wear his glasses since the biting incident..kept sliding of his face . The minister had merely laffed at Evander when told of his request, and told Evander that he should consider himself lucky to have only his ear chewed off, that his opponent had confided to the good minister that he planned to eat a " lions" children in the future.

[fer the dumbasses, Tyson chawed his ear off, and Tyson threatoned to eat Lewis's children, the Canadian Lion]

Evander made his decision. He stood back from the door and motioned for the two to enter. As Ray and USCM followed Evander into the next room, Ray counted THIRTY ONE children in the playroom.

Ray had heard that Evander had led a playboy lifestyle, and being the World heavyweight champion had given Evander the duty to spread his championship seed . After settling Ray in a chair and sitting at his desk, Evander opened his mouth to speak.

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The sound of crickets woke Ray with a start, and he noticed the Marine had also drifted off, standing ram rod stiff. Despite snoring heavily, one eye remained open on the Marine. Evander was still looking at Ray, and it was apparent that despite Rays nap, Evander had yet to speak. A further five minutes passed, until finally words erupted from Evanders mouth."And the Sovereign Lord says: Because the people of Moab have said that Judah ....{.ezekiel 25-8.} '


Suddenly, at the word Judah, all the chairs in the room sprang to life and attacked the Marine, flying through the air with great force, striking him about the head.
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Pulling his hand gun the Marine calmly shot every chair. Amazingly he remained asleep, a true testament to the US forces who remained asleep all day on Sept 11, 2001, while remote controlled airplanes flew for an hour around the country, finally buzzing a nude golf course...twice..before crashing into various targets. Flight 77 flew off under remote control into the Atlantic oceon, the controls having malfunctioned. The pentagon solved the problem of creating a greater kill count for the Pear Harbour event by shooting a patriot missle into the newly constructed and almost empty part of their own building. To this day, the pentagon has claimed that the impact of the plane crash was so decisive, that no dna evidence could be recovered to positivley indentify just one human remain. No aircraft wreckage has been released also. Brainwashed by CNN and TV.. those on TV were KINGS , the american people had not demanded true answers.

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Ray turned back to Evander after the last of the chairs had capitulated like Tyson falling on his bitch face from Williams girlish blows. Ray opened his mouth to speak, but the sound of a doorbell intervened. The Marine opened his other eye, noticed the chairs, his smoking gun, and smiled. He walked among his fallen foes and pulled his knife.

"Gonna cut me off a ear of each o these here ****s..gonna count coup, like we did over in the Nam..damn couch potatoes, you dont know... YOU DONT KNOW ...I lived the life...get off your couches and live a little...damn civvies.....hey, you with the loopy hat...give me a hand cutting off these here chairs ears will ya... "

Ray tripped Evander as he was running to attack the Marine from behind and Evander rolled out the doorway. Picking himself up he opened up the door and smiled..but the smile quickly vanished.

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Standing on the doorway was a crack ho named Chanda Leer , obese, weighing 450 pounds. Beside her stood a young boy, ear deformed, flicking jabs at flies.

"This hern is yers, and that the REAL DEAL sucker..hey Ray, tell Dayglow thanks for last night..tell him he forgot his Wilson masterbating sock...told Dayglow to give me ten and make it hurt...he done me five times, quickly, and punched me ina face. Luvs that Dayglow, has too, we be cousins from Arkansaws"

"Oh, tell Fistcuffs thanks for taking care my dogs piles....had a great big pile on it, poor little pit bull...great big roid on it...massive....i calls the roid "Mosely".

"Yessir, lookng at thet dogs roid hanging outta it ass, i couldnt think of nothing but the suga man...anyway Ray, that Fistcuffs, he sure can clean out an ass like ...."


Evander shut the door on Chanda Leer, having grabbed the child by the hand and yanking him in. He directed the boy to the room containing the other 31 children he had produced. Evander returned to his office, sat down ,only to have the doorbell rang again. Smiling , Evander got up to answer it, On the door step was Lavanda , another crack ho....Evander took one look at the child who had a bowling ball instead of a hand and yanked the child inside.Over the next two hours, fifty four fat crack ho arrived with children in tow. As each surendered one eared children to Evander, they called out to Ray, asking them to send their love to Dayglow. Finally, Evander rewired the doorbell and set the dogs loose outside.

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Screams of terrified children and crack hos eventually faded.

Ray decided to come to the point

"Heres the deal..ummm...Real Deal...I have a sneaking suspicion that a mutual friend of ours has been causing trouble for me. He is a ...Quiet foe, this silent man. I have have told you repeatedly that I was not the grey who probed this..quiet man..but that is was Carlos Wiggan Grey, ..Sheep Fecker, aware of human sexuality, and most definetley aware that his probe... had the potential to unleash latent homosexuality .

[ for an extreme case of latent homosexuality, see Claude]

"The damage done from that probe has haunted the Grey and humankind for years...and i know it has been a hardship in yur life. After three fights with this ..quiet man...having been snuggled and robbed off your titles, after having been probed in each of your three battles..i need your advice. I need to know if he has a weaknes that i could exploit, someway to defeat this ... quiet man . "

"Evander, can you help me? "

Evander looked at Ray, and his heart softened like Dayglows dick after filling three sockfulls at a Kirsty Alley film festival. Evander came close to Ray and whispered in his ear. Ray nodded, and a smile came forth on his face.

Pulling back, Evander opened his mouth and said" The Lord said to me "Son of Grey, you must accuse OHolah and Oholbah of all their awful deeds. they have committed both adultery and murder-adultery by worshipping idols and murder by burning their children as sacrifices on their alters . Then after doing these terrible things, they defiled my temple and violated my Sabbath day! On the very day in front of their idols , they boldly came into my temple to worship! they came in and defiled my house!


Ray nodded wisely. Ray turned to leave and noticed that the Marine had dropped one lump of feces on each chair, all perfect three coilers.

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Ray looked at the marine and asked" the Nam"?
"Ergh...no, Burritos for lunch...Jaysus my ass burns" the Marine responded. As the Marine led the way from Evanders house he spoke "Do you mind if I ask sir, just what did that one eared whore master say to you at the end there .?"

Ray responds "He wants his ass crack hair returned...Ruiz sniped him good all three fights"

Late that night , Evander bolted upright in bed, and queried" what did Ray mean I am slow of mind?"

u idiot....

u idiot....

:crazy: :crazy: :crazy: :crazy:

In all honesty, you are an extremely creative individual; but I feel you're wasting your time if you expect to be appreciated by boxing fans for such material; but maybe you don't care and look at the internet as your own "public" notebook where you can write down whatever you please and relish in the attention both positve and negative. I don't know, and I"m not going to judge you.

Seriously, though, whle warped, it is creative....and no more warped than some South Park episodes and other comedies have produced. Maybe, if you refined it a bit, as I'm sure you can, you could actually do this for a living. It's not easy getting a gig in the script-writing department by any stretch of the imagination; but I think you've got enough imagination and wordsmithy to pull it off, if you have the desire to be serious about it.

Just a thought.

say...havent i met you before...huh...

listen...thet croc odile story...brought tears to the eyes of posters on the pound.

Everywhere else but here pulled it....jaysus eh...and they were sci fi boards...feckers....pretentious shites...

them feckers on those sci fi boards thet believe in conspiracies n shite, weird ass freaks.

I told em..im out to create a grey hybrid human heavyweight champion...and i got blank looks. "Boxing"...they said..."what is that" 'Do you mean..combat? Personal combat!?"

assholes....need a good gawdam close encouter some night....and their feckin cattle...http://img143.imageshack.us/img143/6383/waketody3.gif

xxxxxxxxxxx

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Oh...Bill....r u going to pay for that...:nonono:

Akbar....Muslim Extremist

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"Alah alllalalalala...awk...pfswat....lalalaa..."

"Hokay, now, i get my IPod, you wait a second, fat obese merican sheep fecker. Yes, number 1..press play and ...."

Clickhttp://img329.imageshack.us/img329/3982/ipodym3.jpg

AlLalalalalalalalalalalalalalahalalalala.

" Oh, how i love my IPOD! I just love spending hours online in the canadian chats rooms, plotting attacks and seeking money! I have learned about this wonderful " LIMEWIRE" program to steal music for my beloved POD". The only downside is that I no longer produce lung cookies for fat obese Merican children.

"Lalala...awk....gurgle...phatooie...there on relish for the Hotdog and Fries, only $1.99...add a slurpy for $0.99....yes....i mix it in there good now...."

"Death be to Merica!!! Infidel Fools! Horrid sheep feckers.... and yet you scoff on the Islam and his love goat! Our cultures can never co-exist!

"Never you mind, fat obese pig eaters!! So, I have finely met you...this Ray of Grey...the leader of the brave resistance to the Spider. Much like the resistance of the brave French during WWI...and WWII...and Vietnam..... "

"Never mind, i have not enjoyed reading your posts! You have come close to the truth..that Condi Rice is indeed the Mother Spider Queen...spewing lil Akbar to work in your Merican 7-11 and Cab shops! We are the worst nightmare...alien muslim terrorists....and we are on are way to the greatest jiha.....

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Excuse me....Yes, how may i help you today, Slurpy just $0.99 merican cents, yes thas rite have 2 you fat obese Merican cow, with big undulating heaving breasts and your tight taught thighs, go on you pig, who does not look at me, does not look at me while i rub my self behind this counter...yes, go on , help yourself to the Hotdog, only $1.29 and the Relish...yes...enjoy the relish..it is my special blend from my home country... is Free, yes go on...Thank you, come again"



"Where was I...oh, yes, it does not matter what you have told this forum....for you are correct. 9-11..the Pentagon attacks...it was a conspiracy... and the greatest folly of your idiot president..for the enemy is not in Iraq.....but the enemy is here."

AND WE CONTROL YOUR SLUPY!

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Allah allah alla llalal ..awk....*gurgle*

*spwat*

"Ho My , a green one thick and juicy. Perhaps i shall bottle it and save it for emergency rations for fat spoiled Mericans when the next Allah inspired hurricane ravages The Great Satan!"

"I believe one of your fat obese Merican children will quite readily eat my personal "pickled egg" That’s right, fat obese child , pop that little green nugget in your fat obese PIG like mouth...fat little pig children of fat obese woman!

My my...what a lot of British infidel PIGS on this board...please...do not smile.
Akbar has plans for London!


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Do you know that the best thing about the game of Soccer...is that it ends?
I did like that hit thet MUSLIM HERO feller laid on in the last World Cup game...only decent play i ever saw..

Know why brit fans throw darts at each other during the games? To stay awake. CELTIC ...LIVERPOOL...I as a MUSLIM extremeist can admire..born of the Irish....there is a people who understand the way of the jihad! To be a tailgunner on a milk truck in Dublin...the honor.

Is this ...Chelsea?!
http://edition.cnn.com/2006/WORLD/americas/11/24/blind.soccer.ap/index.html

Britain...what a despairing country..had it all..owned the world...and blew it. No stamina for the long haul..all the good breeding stock left rather quickly over the years , you see. Now, all thets left behind...are the inbred dregs....and the glorious MUSLIM EXTREMIST immigrant.

Yes, what a country....lost a whole generation of men in WW1...then again WW11..thank gawd fer Canada eh, Brit lads...bailed yer inbred bucktoothed premature ejaculation brits asses out there eh...Canada..lifeline to tired old Britain....will do it fer yew in afghanstan this time...we know the history of the brits and afghanstan..i belive they slaughtered yer asses over the years...well..yall aint won much since the falklands..those 30 drunk sheep farmers held off the navy quite a while tho.......

But Briton shall too feel the wrath of my Jihad...for the true crime that wretched nation has inflicted on the world...no, Not Sarah!



Cricket...http://img151.imageshack.us/img151/7720/ninjaoy0.gif

Akbar...Muslim Extremist
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"
London's burning! London's burning!
All across the town, all across the night
Everybody's driving with full headlights
Black or white turn it on, face the new religion
Everybody's sitting 'round watching television! "

Click..thank you lovely Ipod. Yes, that is my Islamic funeral dirge...it is a sad sad day....so many of Akars plans gone...overnight...*sigh* How could this be...why just yesterday i was telling my new friends on the Boxing Scene Lounge.... of my plans for London....http://img451.imageshack.us/img451/8082/unsureuc3.gif


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I see...It will be like this British Infidels....I gather there be Chelsea fans who did not like the link.....never mind...Akbar has many other plans!

I await...for the Ultimate british killah to respond...and when he does i will....*ring*


'One second..incoming video stream on my altered Ipod...muslim minds are so brilliant...lalala..Hello? Holy AKBAR!!

The TWO Bosses!!

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With a mighty sucking rendering sound Osama, the true leader of the West pulled himself from the ass of the President and looked into his Mulsim improved Ipod. He spoke.

"Jihad jihad..akbar boom boom iihad, London done , no jihad boom boom, need Akbar jihad boom boom, jihad dirty bomb jihad AKBAR NOW SUICIDE BOMBER jihad , awk..lalalalal"


click


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lloll...........