View Full Version : Respecting others privacy?


* FeistyWench *
09-06-2006, 05:59 PM
if you found out someone close to was on a forum and you knew his/her username, would you spy or privately stalk someone them without them knowing it?

or alternatively, how would you feel if someone you cared about was spying on you here secretly without you knowing it. it wouldn't have to be a g/f or wife, it could be anyone you are close to?

Please discuss...
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My story: my husband belongs to a few forums, as do I, but obviously we don't belong to the same forums. We both know what the sites are but we respect each others privacy and don't "spy" or stalk each other. We haven't shared our usernames. Any way, he has posted some pics on one of his forums of this room he built (he was so proud) and wanted to ask me a technical question on how he could make the pics smaller. So, I am checking out the pics and i notice the post beneath them in which he is complaining about me having the "honey-do lists" and him rolling hs eyes and saying "yeah, honey, i'll get right on that" (since i have been put on bed rest). it was rather funny because he and i know the REAL truth, but it made me realize that when he is not with me he likes to portray himself as a typical guy. while i was immediately curious what else he may have posted, particularly about me, i'd really rather not know. plus, i just respect and trust him and would not feel right intruding on his privacy. i know the real him - not the "him" that he portrays to a group of guys or strangers. plus, i would hate if he did it to me. it's kinda like reading someone's diary, IMO.

so i chose not to spy on him as i would not want to be spied on.

MR. V
09-06-2006, 06:03 PM
u raise a good point. u see, a strong confident morally respectiful person like yourself wouldnt spy and shouldnt either. privacy should be just that: private. but im a noisy mutha fuka and if my girl had some **** like that i wouldnt even hesitate to see what other **** she wrote. thats my 2 cents. peace yo- :cool:

Piggu
09-06-2006, 06:05 PM
I detest spying, as I am constantly spied on.

* FeistyWench *
09-06-2006, 06:07 PM
I detest spying, as I am constantly spied on.
who spies on you? :confused:

Dr.Depravity
09-06-2006, 06:57 PM
If thats the type of stuff he's posted regarding you. You have nothing to worry about. Now if you saw where he typed. "I cant stand the *****, and I cant wait unitill I get my hands on the life insurance." Then you have a problem.

* FeistyWench *
09-06-2006, 07:04 PM
If thats the type of stuff he's posted regarding you. You have nothing to worry about. Now if you saw where he typed. "I cant stand the *****, and I cant wait unitill I get my hands on the life insurance." Then you have a problem.
lol! no, it was just macho stuff.

i know i have nothing to worry about ;)

Exige Jr
09-06-2006, 07:44 PM
Feisty. Im waiting for you. ;)

Haha, ill stop ****ing around for once. Well what I say on here is semi-private... however if anyone knows me in real life, they also know I dont give a **** if people know about my opinions. One of the ways people may get to know about my account here and what I say is through what is mentioned in conversation with friends. For instance Boxstarr who a few of you know may mention something, and then someone sad enough to go check up on me may do so. But like I said, I wouldnt say the things I say without knowing that one day someone may track this information... And if they do track this information, then generally what I post here are my true opinions, so they will have to deal with it.

phallus
09-06-2006, 07:56 PM
SO - would you spy or privately stalk someone you were close to on a forum without them knowing it?

or alternatively, how would you feel if someone you cared about was spying on you here secretly without you knowing it. it wouldn't have to be a gf or wife, what if it was a sibling or parent or child (son or daughter)?

My story: my husband belongs to a few forums, as do I, but obviously we don't belong to the same forums. We both know what the sites are but we respect each others privacy and don't "spy" or stalk each other. We haven't shared our usernames. Any way, he has posted some pics on one of his forums of this room he built (he was so proud) and wanted to ask me a technical question on how he could make the pics smaller. So, I am checking out the pics and i notice the post beneath them in which he is complaining about me having the "honey-do lists" and him rolling hs eyes and saying "yeah, honey, i'll get right on that" (since i have been put on bed rest). it was rather funny because he and i know the REAL truth, but it made me realize that when he is not with me he likes to portray himself as a typical guy. while i was immediately curious what else he may have posted, particularly about me, i'd really rather not know. plus, i just respect and trust him and would not feel right intruding on his privacy. i know the real him - not the "him" that he portrays to a group of guys or strangers. plus, i would hate if he did it to me. it's kinda like reading someone's diary, IMO.


i've been stalking u since 1977

The Noose
09-06-2006, 08:42 PM
I would find it very difficult to not spy.
I think its somthing to do with sharing a bedroom with my older brother wen i was a kid. He had all kinds of weird and wonderful stuff hidden away, and id seek out.

Also ive known girls who lie and decieve. So im naturally paranoid.

Ta Khent
09-07-2006, 12:42 AM
SO - would you spy or privately stalk someone you were close to on a forum without them knowing it?

or alternatively, how would you feel if someone you cared about was spying on you here secretly without you knowing it. it wouldn't have to be a gf or wife, what if it was a sibling or parent or child (son or daughter)?

My story: my husband belongs to a few forums, as do I, but obviously we don't belong to the same forums. We both know what the sites are but we respect each others privacy and don't "spy" or stalk each other. We haven't shared our usernames. Any way, he has posted some pics on one of his forums of this room he built (he was so proud) and wanted to ask me a technical question on how he could make the pics smaller. So, I am checking out the pics and i notice the post beneath them in which he is complaining about me having the "honey-do lists" and him rolling hs eyes and saying "yeah, honey, i'll get right on that" (since i have been put on bed rest). it was rather funny because he and i know the REAL truth, but it made me realize that when he is not with me he likes to portray himself as a typical guy. while i was immediately curious what else he may have posted, particularly about me, i'd really rather not know. plus, i just respect and trust him and would not feel right intruding on his privacy. i know the real him - not the "him" that he portrays to a group of guys or strangers. plus, i would hate if he did it to me. it's kinda like reading someone's diary, IMO.


Perhaps he's just using the forums as a way to vent his frustrations with the current situation. When my wife was pregnant, she would have me do things around the house that she would normally do. In the beginning, it was cool to help her out, but after while, with all the nagging, it became extremely annoying. I never told her that because I wanted her pregnancy to be a smooth and stress-free transition.

* FeistyWench *
09-07-2006, 03:51 PM
Perhaps he's just using the forums as a way to vent his frustrations with the current situation. When my wife was pregnant, she would have me do things around the house that she would normally do. In the beginning, it was cool to help her out, but after while, with all the nagging, it became extremely annoying. I never told her that because I wanted her pregnancy to be a smooth and stress-free transition.
i'm not really bothered by what he said. it just made me want to see more, out of curiosity. i know men talk differntly when they get together, kinda like women do when they get going. so although i was curious what else he said, i didn't feel right spying on him.

actually, my husband is always doing something. he likes staying busy and being productive, so the stuff he was complaining about - saying that i asked him to do it was not honest. HE wanted to do it. lol! but i think he wanted to join the wife-bashing with the other guys. it's normal and i don;t take it personally. kinda like when he jokingly complains to friends that he doesn't get any, when in fact he gets it more than most other guys. if ya know what i mean. ;) :p :o lol! :D

Exige Jr
09-07-2006, 03:56 PM
i'm not really bothered by what he said. it just made me want to see more, out of curiosity. i know men talk differntly when they get together, kinda like women do when they get going. so although i was curious what else he said, i didn't feel right spying on him.

actually, my husband is always doing something. he likes staying busy and being productive, so the stuff he was complaining about - saying that i asked him to do it was not honest. HE wanted to do it. lol! but i think he wanted to join the wife-bashing with the other guys. it's normal and i don;t take it personally. kinda like when he jokingly complains to friends that he doesn't get any, when in fact he gets it more than most other guys. if ya know what i mean. ;) :p :o lol! :D
Surely its not something to be positive about?

If that was me I would actually say to them something along the lines of "be real". Changing heart because you are around a certain group is a sign of fickleness...

* FeistyWench *
09-07-2006, 04:07 PM
Surely its not something to be positive about?

If that was me I would actually say to them something along the lines of "be real". Changing heart because you are around a certain group is a sign of fickleness...
well, i would venture to guess that many of the males on this site who talk about women like they are hoes and *****es and brag about not taking any crap from women, or being a player or whatever, are actually quite different in real life.

Exige Jr
09-07-2006, 04:10 PM
well, i would venture to guess that many of the males on this site who talk about women like they are hoes and *****es and brag about not taking any crap from women, or being a player or whatever, are actually quite different in real life.
Yes they probably are. There arent any real pimps on here.

But thats irrelevant, because you made this thread about you, so now im giving my opinion on what you said in this thread. Do you think you will say anything or just leave it? He may be offended that you even know about what he has said, if you did...

* FeistyWench *
09-07-2006, 04:20 PM
Yes they probably are. There arent any real pimps on here.

But thats irrelevant, because you made this thread about you, so now im giving my opinion on what you said in this thread. Do you think you will say anything or just leave it? He may be offended that you even know about what he has said, if you did...
oh, he knows that i saw it because i finally made a little joke about it. i made sure that he knew that i had no intention of spying on him. BUT i did ask him why he had said what he did and he said that he was just joking around. whatever. not a big deal. the focus of the thread was more on my urge to WANT to see what else he might of said, but not doing it because i didn't feel right doing it because i wouldn;t want him spying on me. i wasn't really offended by his words because i know how things really are.

Exige Jr
09-07-2006, 04:22 PM
oh, he knows that i saw it because i finally made a little joke about it. i made sure that he knew that i had no intention of spying on him. BUT i did ask him why he had said what he did and he said that he was just joking around. whatever. not a big deal. the focus of the thread was more on my urge to WANT to see what else he might of said, but not doing it because i didn't feel right doing it because i wouldn;t want him spying on me. i wasn't really offended by his words because i know how things really are.
Then its all good. And I guess in a sense its good that you didnt go checking up on him. Obviously you would expect him to do the same if he was in a similar situation.

MickyHatton
09-07-2006, 04:38 PM
Its a great question because Likely_Lad is now a friend of mine (in fact he now works for me) so I may have to watch what I say or even what times I 'm on! Lol ;)

Likely_Lad if you read this whats your thoughts mate because it will be even worse for you, (I suspect you will have an alt sooner rather than later lol)

Exige Jr
09-07-2006, 04:43 PM
What the **** happened to Likely_Lad?

I remember him being a nice dude when he first came on... he was ex-army wasnt he? You 2 were sharing experiences, I chipped in a little too. So where is he now?

MickyHatton
09-07-2006, 04:58 PM
What the **** happened to Likely_Lad?

I remember him being a nice dude when he first came on... he was ex-army wasnt he? You 2 were sharing experiences, I chipped in a little too. So where is he now?

He's around mate (I think he has been on this week?), we met up a little while after he joined and he came to work for me last month!

Hes a good guy but I wont say too much or he will get a big head!

Exige Jr
09-07-2006, 05:09 PM
He's around mate (I think he has been on this week?), we met up a little while after he joined and he came to work for me last month!

Hes a good guy but I wont say too much or he will get a big head!
Ok so what business do you 2 do then?

MickyHatton
09-07-2006, 05:18 PM
Ok so what business do you 2 do then?

I work for companies that supply IT solutions to the NHS, LL is one of my engineers!

Exige Jr
09-07-2006, 05:21 PM
I work for companies that supply IT solutions to the NHS, LL is one of my engineers!
Well its great that you two have met up in real life, just from meeting on a forum... what a friendly bunch us English are. :D

MickyHatton
09-07-2006, 05:27 PM
Well its great that you two have met up in real life, just from meeting on a forum... what a friendly bunch us English are. :D

I like to employ ex forces guys for obvious reasons, he worked I think for Telewest or NTL? and hated it, we kind of knew each other through the boxing side of things from our Army days and I spend a lot of time in the Manchester area going around hospitals etc so it was easy to meet up!

Doesn't mean this is now Mickey's version of Fish4jobs!

Exige Jr
09-07-2006, 05:31 PM
I like to employ ex forces guys for obvious reasons, he worked I think for Telewest or NTL? and hated it, we kind of knew each other through the boxing side of things from our Army days and I spend a lot of time in the Manchester area going around hospitals etc so it was easy to meet up!

Doesn't mean this is now Mickey's version of Fish4jobs!
I wasnt suggesting anything dodgy mate. I was just saying how friendly us, as a people are, to meet someone we dont know at all, or know them vaguely, and then to help them out, give them a job, make friends with them... you know what I mean?

MickyHatton
09-07-2006, 05:35 PM
I wasnt suggesting anything dodgy mate. I was just saying how friendly us, as a people are, to meet someone we dont know at all, or know them vaguely, and then to help them out, give them a job, make friends with them... you know what I mean?

No, no probs buddy, I didn't think you were!
Anyway I'm done, up in 7 hours so.....

Exige Jr
09-07-2006, 05:36 PM
No, no probs buddy, I didn't think you were!
Anyway I'm done, up in 7 hours so.....
Cya later man. Im up soon aswell. But lets face it, I dont need any beauty sleep. :D

K-DOGG
09-07-2006, 06:56 PM
SO - would you spy or privately stalk someone you were close to on a forum without them knowing it?

or alternatively, how would you feel if someone you cared about was spying on you here secretly without you knowing it. it wouldn't have to be a gf or wife, what if it was a sibling or parent or child (son or daughter)?

My story: my husband belongs to a few forums, as do I, but obviously we don't belong to the same forums. We both know what the sites are but we respect each others privacy and don't "spy" or stalk each other. We haven't shared our usernames. Any way, he has posted some pics on one of his forums of this room he built (he was so proud) and wanted to ask me a technical question on how he could make the pics smaller. So, I am checking out the pics and i notice the post beneath them in which he is complaining about me having the "honey-do lists" and him rolling hs eyes and saying "yeah, honey, i'll get right on that" (since i have been put on bed rest). it was rather funny because he and i know the REAL truth, but it made me realize that when he is not with me he likes to portray himself as a typical guy. while i was immediately curious what else he may have posted, particularly about me, i'd really rather not know. plus, i just respect and trust him and would not feel right intruding on his privacy. i know the real him - not the "him" that he portrays to a group of guys or strangers. plus, i would hate if he did it to me. it's kinda like reading someone's diary, IMO.

You are an extra-ordinary woman. I can think of no female....or male, for that matter, that upon discovering a "complain post" would be able to resist the urge to "spy" and see what else is said, so as to use it as cannon fodder the first time an argument broke out.

You should be proud of yourself for being that secure in who you are and who your hubby is....and for being that secure in your relationship.

My dear, I applaud you. :notworthy

* FeistyWench *
09-07-2006, 07:25 PM
You are an extra-ordinary woman. I can think of no female....or male, for that matter, that upon discovering a "complain post" would be able to resist the urge to "spy" and see what else is said, so as to use it as cannon fodder the first time an argument broke out.

You should be proud of yourself for being that secure in who you are and who your hubby is....and for being that secure in your relationship.

My dear, I applaud you. :notworthy
lol! like i said, it was tempting, but i know what's what. ;) :p

now, if i had overheard him saying things like that to a friend or family member on the phone, i may have reacted differently - been a little more offended or hurt.
we're close enough that if he was realy annoyed with me or tired of something, he'd tell me. so i figure he's just having fun with his sites, as i am. :cool:

BrooklynBomber
09-07-2006, 07:55 PM
oh, he knows that i saw it because i finally made a little joke about it. i made sure that he knew that i had no intention of spying on him. BUT i did ask him why he had said what he did and he said that he was just joking around. whatever. not a big deal. the focus of the thread was more on my urge to WANT to see what else he might of said, but not doing it because i didn't feel right doing it because i wouldn;t want him spying on me. i wasn't really offended by his words because i know how things really are.
I am not gonna lie to you, but I think that this whole business got under your skin, you will probably deny it, but seeing that your husband got something on a side, no matter how innocent that is, makes you itch in all the wrong places, so now you are in dilemma, wether you want to look up, what else he had said, because obviously, there is a little bit less trust between you and him, but here is a little advice from a guy who is obviously not as experience as you, but seen his share of bad relationships: dont do it, dont even think about doing it.

* FeistyWench *
09-07-2006, 08:56 PM
I am not gonna lie to you, but I think that this whole business got under your skin, you will probably deny it, but seeing that your husband got something on a side, no matter how innocent that is, makes you itch in all the wrong places, so now you are in dilemma, wether you want to look up, what else he had said, because obviously, there is a little bit less trust between you and him, but here is a little advice from a guy who is obviously not as experience as you, but seen his share of bad relationships: dont do it, dont even think about doing it.
i think that this thread just shows how men and women really are different.

i asked some questions at the beginning of the thread - which no one has really answered and then i explained why i made the thread - my experience. i am honestly curious as to how others take their privacy and the privacy of others. i wasn;t really looking for advice on what i should do.

i am not offended at all BB by your thoughts, but honestly, i do not trust my husband any less and i refuse to spy on him. it's all good. :)

paul750
09-07-2006, 09:09 PM
The internet is escapism, just like any other form of entertainment, it's not always a true reflection of the real person.

* FeistyWench *
09-07-2006, 09:10 PM
The internet is escapism, just like any other form of entertainment, it's not always a true reflection of the real person.
absolutely.... :cool:

SonnyG8R
09-07-2006, 09:17 PM
Fiesty and I have a brother who has checked the site out. With all the bs and immature people on the site what must he think?

I also have friends and work associates i have mentioned the site too. The problem is that if people you know come on to check the place out they could draw the wrong conclusion about you. I mean we all joke around, talk smack sometimes, flirt perhaps, or just say things we normally wouldn't. Like when somebody stalks and flames me, I have retaliated in kind on past occassions. But I wouldn't want people I really respect to get the wrong impression.

All this reinforces the need for this flame free lounge. :cool:

Smokin'
09-07-2006, 09:19 PM
That'd be gay if someone who knew me was secretly watching my posts...

But that probably won't happen considering whenever most of my friends see me on this site they tell me 'grow the **** up, why the **** are you still on that stupid site', lol

SonnyG8R
09-07-2006, 09:20 PM
That'd be gay if someone who knew me was secretly watching my posts...

But that probably won't happen considering whenever most of my friends see me on this site they tell me 'grow the **** up, why the **** are you still on that stupid site', lol

lol, I ask myself that same question sometimes. :p

Smokin'
09-07-2006, 09:22 PM
lol, I ask myself that same question sometimes. :p
so do I, I still don't know why I still post regularly on this website.

MANGLER
01-04-2010, 02:18 AM
if you found out someone close to was on a forum and you knew his/her username, would you spy or privately stalk someone them without them knowing it?

or alternatively, how would you feel if someone you cared about was spying on you here secretly without you knowing it. it wouldn't have to be a g/f or wife, it could be anyone you are close to?

Please discuss...

Spyin on/stalkin people on the internet is weak. **** all that.

And cats I know all know I post here, so **** it. NSB is wack or I'd encourage my homies to post here.