ensanity
11-19-2002, 01:45 AM
I remember this thread on sherdog a long time ago...if you started that thread speak up!!!
Angry Dragon: Immediately after you blow your load inside a girl's
mouth, smack the back of her head and make your spooge come out her
nose. When she gets up she'll look like an angry dragon.
Arabian Goggles: A "seldom-seen" maneuver where you put your testicles
over her eye sockets while she's eating out your ass.
Bait-n-Tackle: This one was used by the sailors from the old Navy
days. Before you go off for a long, lonely voyage, get yourself a tall
jar and fill it completely with earthworms. When you get lonely, open
the jar and **** away. The earthworms will provide some slithery
stimulation, and your protein load will keep them nicely nourished.
Ballsacking: Takes some luck of the gene pool, but if you're able to
do it, always great fun. While you are straddling her, take your
nutsack and spread it out over her face like pizza dough.
Bear Claw: The shanked out remains of the labia after being stretched
like Play-Dough from an hour or so of power jack-hammering.
Beef Curtain: The shanked out remains of the labia after being
stretched like Play-Doh from an hour or so of jimmy-jam.
Beer Dick: This is what most guys get after a good night of drinking.
They tend to **** anything with a ***** while experiencing "beer dick."
Blocking the Box: When you and your pal are double teaming a chick,
make sure you are taking her doggy style while he's got her mouth.
Selfishly, drop your load in her, thus preventing him from using that
input later! (aka Access Denied Error, Road Closed Due to Bad
Conditions)
Blumpy: You need to find a real tramp to do this right. It involves
having her sucking you off while you are on the ****ter.
The Boston Shocker: After plunging your unit in your partner's poop-
chute, pull it out, and make her suck clean. Then stick it back into
her anus. Repeat.
The Boomerang: After spewing your mighty load into a girl's mouth, she
pretends to eat your assholio, but instead, spits the jizz up your ass.
The Bronco: You start by going doggy style and then just when she is
really enjoying it, you grab her tits as tight as possible and yell
another girls name. This gives you the feeling of riding a wild bronco
as she desperately tries to buck you off.
The Brushback Pitch: When you're getting head, yell "Batter Up!" Then,
quickly pull out and give her a dick in the ear.
Brown Bagging It: Sometimes you meet a girl with a body like there's
no tomorrow but a face like a mangy dog. Don't let that body go to
waste and let her hideousness stop you from ****ing her though. Just
draw the smiley face on a brown paper bag, place it over her head, and
**** away while keeping your composure and piece of mind.
Brown Necktie: You're about halfway through ass-wrecking a chick, and
instead of filling up her kiester with your demon seed, you pull out
and proceed to tit **** her, leaving a brown streak between her
funbags.
Brunski: When a man puts his face between a woman's breasts and
quickly moves his head back and forth while saying "Brunski" in a very
drawn out and exaggerated manner. (There are many other variant names.)
The Bullwinkle: The sign given to a friend in hiding while doggie
styling' some chick. It is performed by placing both hands over the
head, with palms facing out and waving wildly. Can be supplemented by
shouting "Hey Rocky." (Make sure to use appropriate Bullwinkle voice
tone.)
Butter Face: When you see a chick with an awesome body "but her face"
is hideous.
The Canine Special: Liberally apply peanut butter to your dick and
call over the family dog. "Lick, Fido, lick. Good dog!" Woof!
The Carpet Cleaner: While banging a girl doggy style, tie her arms
behind her back, lift up her hips, and run around the room pushing her
face first across the carpet. Not recommended with large women.Cheese
Grater: When some ***** with braces gives you a blow job.
The Chili Dog: When you take a hot dump on a girl's tits and then
proceed to titty **** her.
Chocolate Pizza: Happily discovering hemorrhoids while rimming
someone's bunghole.
Choda: The sweet spot between a man's assholio and his scrotum (aka,
perineum).
Cleveland Steamer: The act of leaving a **** stain on the rib cage of
a woman while receiving penile pleasure from friction between the
mammaries.
Club SPED: Having sex with a retarded person. The "SPED" comes from
the term "Special Ed."
****-Stuffing: Apparently somewhat on the fringe in gay circles, this
practice involves using thin, cylindrical items (thermometers, wire,
rubber worms, etc.), and inserting them into the dick hole. Over many
months, continue to gradually stretch out the hole with larger items,
thus ultimately allowing your "buddy" to obtain the goal of ****ing
your urethra. Wow!
Cold Lunch: The act of vomiting directly onto some chick's head while
she's performing fellatio.
The Concoction: First, ejaculate all over the floor. Next, have your
psycho ***** girlfriend menstruate on your semen. Stir it with your
finger until you get a nice thick pink mixture. Proceed to paint
yourselves up silly, just as if you were in kindergarten again.
The Compton Gangbang: You meet a young lady at the bar. She tells you
she has a boyfriend, but she ends up going home with you anyway for a
one-night stand. When you take her to your place, tell your friends to
wait outside your bedroom door. Just when she's about to get off, your
friends barge in the room and plainly beat the **** out of her. That
should teach her not to
**** around. (Ladies, feel free to perform a Compton Gangbang on guys
too. I know you've got some fat girlfriends to help you out.)
Cop's Delight: The act of ****ing a girl doggie-style (in either
hole), pulling out, and ejaculating all over her "pastry buns, thus
transforming her rump into the illusion of an oversized, quivering
glazed donut. (Also known as the "Krispy Kreme.")
The Corkscrew: Cross your fingers, middle over index. Twist your wrist
back and forth and go to work on your desired orifice. With practice,
you'll have the effectiveness of a dill press and within weeks you'll
be able to bore through wood.
Corn: From the fine campus of Cornell University comes this unique,
rarely used term. Saying that a girl is "Corn" means, she is so
****ing hot, so beautiful, so utterly drop-dead gorgeous, that you
would happily eat the corn out of her ****. Can be used as a great
pick-up line or friendly compliment, for instance: "Baby, you're more
Corn than the Green Giant", or "damn *****, you are Corn!"
Couch Bombing: When you fill a small ziploc sandwich bag with Crisco
(or your favorite lubrication) and place it between the cushions on
the couch. You then proceed to **** the couch as if it were a
woman...but no need to buy It dinner first
Coyote: This occurs when you wake up in the room of a nasty wombat and
you know you've got to give her the slip. However, you realize that
your arm is wrapped around her. Therefore you must gnaw off your own
arm to get out of the situation. Can be very painful.
Cream Graffiti: When two gay partners **** each other up the wazoo,
and then squeal out a massive fart, spraying the gizz all over
themselves.
Cum Dumpster: A quadriplegic whore.
Cum Guzzling Sperm Burping *****: The once in a lifetime act when
blowing a hot steamy load down the back of the girl's throat, proceed
to give her a large cold bottle of your most favorite carbonated drink
and make her guzzle it down. Then, shake her head vigorously back and
forth to create the Cum Guzzling, Sperm Burping effect. A great way to
impress your friends.
Daisy Chain: Partner (A) is sucking off or eating out Partner (B) who
is sucking off or eating out partner © and so on until the final
person is sucking off or eating out partner (A).
Davey Crockett: A sexual maneuver in which you slip muscle relaxants
into your gal's snizzpod, then slide your head in, thus wearing your
partner's now-relaxed snatch-fur as a coonskin cap. Can come in handy
on those cold winter nights.
The Dirty Sanchez: A time honored event in which while laying the bone
doggy style, you insert your finger into her assholio. You then pull
it out and wipe it across her upper lip leaving a thin **** mustache.
This makes her look like someone whose name is Dirty Sanchez.
Dirty Swirly: While boning a chick doggie style near a toilet
(preferably one filled with a healthy load of ****, or some hot piss,
or both), stick her head in the toilet and flush...she'll dig it.
The Double-Take: When you bang a chick in her assholio with such ease
and room you have to keep looking down because you can't believe it's
not her *****. Also known as the "Kidding Me" because it makes you
want to shout "You've got to be kidding me that this is your assholio!"
The Donkey Punch: Bang a girl doggy style, and then moments before you
cum, stick your dick in her ass, and punch her in the back of the
neck. The blow to the neck will stun the muscles in the female's ass,
which will constrict your penis and give you a tremendous orgasmic
experience when you ejaculate.
The Dog In a Bathtub: Insert your nuts into your girl's ass. You will
find it's as hard to keep them there as it is to keep a dog in a
bathtub.
Dropping the Chalupa: Fill a sock with as many bodily excrements as
you have available, and whack some slut over the head with it. Best
accomplished if it's a surprise during some hot back-door action.
Duct Tape Trick: Wrapping a hamster in duct tape so you can safely
**** it without the danger of a messy split.
Dutch Oven: Entrapping an unsuspecting sleeping partner in a world of
ass odor by farting under the covers and pulling them over her head
(and yours as well if you're into that sort of thing).
Dutch Treat: The unexpected result of a Dutch Oven gone terribly awry.
Can be very messy.
Dussy: The act of tucking your limp penis behind and in between your
legs, thus imitating a woman's genitalia.
DVDA: The abbreviation for "double-anal, double-vaginal". This is the
term used when a girl takes four ****s in two holes. A hard core pr0n
industry norm.
The Electric Chair: Your psycho***** girlfriend decides she wants to
try something kinky, so she props your stupid naive ass up in a chair,
strips you down, and ties you up. After arousing you, she then takes a
car battery and clamps two jumper cables to each nut sack. This causes
you to have all sorts of synapses, spasms, and convulsions. She then
mounts your Frankenstein and proceeds to get electro****ed. Warning!
May cause erectile dysfunction after performed.
Felching: A gay activity which I do not condone at all. It happens
when one *** ****s another *** in the ass and then sucks the jizz out
with a straw. Only included for those of you who are considering going
to jail. *note: never seen it done with a straw...
Finger-Painting: Rubbing your girlfriend's menstrual fluids all over
both your bodies. If you're feeling especially bold, you may mix your
own semen with her discharge to create a nice, thick pink painting
mixture.
The Fish Eye: From behind, you shove both fists in her ass (or his if
in prison). Thereupon she turns around in a one-eyed winking
motionsignaling that she has been there and done that.
Fish Hook: When you pull back towards the ***** after you stick your
finger up her anus.
The Fire Island: This consists of telling someone you're going to
spunk on their face while they are asleep, only half-jokingly, and
then when they don't believe you, doing it just to prove that you're
that demented.
The Flaming Amazon: This one's for all you pyromaniacs out there. When
your screwing some girl, right when your about to cum, you pull out
and quickly grab the nearest lighter and set her pubes on fire, then
extinguish the flames with your jizz!
Flooding the Cave: Inserting the penis into a woman's ***** and then
urinating inside her. Applies to butt pirates as well.
The Flying Camel: A personal favorite. As she is lying on her back and
you are hammering her from your knees. You very carefully move forward
and prop yourself (without using your arms) on your dick while it is
still inserted in her vagina. You then proceed to flap your arms and
let out a long shrieking howl much like a flying camel. Strictly a
classy move.
The Flying Dutchman: This didn't used to be a specific deviant sexual
act, it was just a phrase that sounded dirty and would be shouted out
during intercourse on occasion simply for the novelty factor. However,
its popularity increased and it has now developed into a specific act,
namely that of, just as you are about to blow a load, in any sort of
sexual situation (even masturbation for those true pioneers who are
constantly on the cutting edge of the sexual revolution) you begin to
shout, "Here comes the Flying Dutchman!" This should confuse your
sexual partner (or whoever is in hearing range) completely, sometimes
causing interesting side effects.
The Flying Squirrel: Spread your balls to receive a licking right up
the middle.
Four-Wheel Drive: ****ing or getting ****ed during the peak of your
genital herpes flare up, because while you ****, it's quite a bumpy
ride.
The Fortune Cookie: This maneuver is intended to teach fledgling
hookers to swallow what we give them. If after a sensational round of
knob-slobbing the slut deposits your wealth somewhere other than her
stomach, quickly take your knee to her jaw. Your new lucky number is
equal to the amount of teeth you knock out. Confucius would be proud.
The Fountain Of You: While sitting on her face and having her eat your
ass, jerk off like a madman. Build up as much pressure as possible
before you release and spew like a venerable geyser all over her face,
neck and tits. (Better in her bed)
The Furr Ball: You're chomping away at some mighty trollop who has a
mane between her legs the size of Lionel Richie's afro, a mammoth hair
ball gets lodged into your throat.
The Game of Smiles: Sit around a circular table with a group of
friends, with a woman giving random blowjobs underneath the table.
Anyone who "smiles" has to buy a round of beer for the rest. It's a
Boys' Town specialty!
The Glazed Doughnut: After taking a girl in the ass, pull out, and
splooge all over her pastry-buns, transforming her rump into the
allusion of an oversized, quivering glazed doughnut.
Gobstopper: With two hands, spread your tramp's anus open, then spit a
big-ass phlegm blob down the assholio then close it back up. You can
give her a smack on the ass when you're done, if you want.
Golden Shower: Any form of dropping piss all over your partner. Great
for those who like watersports.
Greek: The act of using your "glue stick" (if you know what I'm
saying) and gluing your gal's eyes closed with your man seed.
E.g. "Hey guys, check it out, I just greeked her!" or "Sorry honey,
but you asked for the Greek salad
The Ham & Cheese Sandwich: Eating a woman's box after you ejaculate
all over it. A delightful, tasty combination of her yummy meat
curtains with your added cheesy topping is sure to appeal to anyone's
appetite. (Considered a
variation of felching.)
Hershey Highway: When plowing your girl in the ass, you run into some
hot diarrhea. Don't hurt her feelings by getting grossed out though --
just pretend it's extra lube.
The Hindenburg: When some girl who is so bad at oral sex, you're
forced to cry "Oh! The humanity!" as her teeth scrape your mantool.
The High Dive: The skill of pulling your johnson all the way out of
your partner's hole, and in one motion jamming it home again. Best
suited for use in the cornhole, but can be very dangerous.
Hogging: While intoxicated, high, or just plain desperate, you go
searching for the fattest ***** you can find and proceed to ride her
like a Harley. Best accomplished with large groups friends.
Hole in One: The act of sticking your dick in your own ass. Just try
not to get a huge boner once it's in, or you'll get a nice snap-a-roo.
Hotdog in a Hallway: When laying the pipe, you realize your dick isn't
even touching the walls of her vagina -- kind of like tossing a hotdog
in a hallway. Most frequently happens when banging the neighborhood
whore or if you're slinging a small dick.
Hot Karl: The act in which a woman sucks the **** of the same man who,
moments earlier, was balls-deep inside her snatch.
Hot Karl Candy Cane: A variation of the above in which the man who is
receiving the oral **** cleaning gives the woman a reach around.
Hot Lunch: The result of defecating a tube of **** directly into a
girl's
mouth.
The Houdini: While getting a girl from behind, you pull out and spit
on her
back, creating the illusion that you've completed the transaction.
When she
turns around, blow your load in her face. She'll want to know how you
made
another shot magically appear.
Hummer: The well known added variation to a blowjob in which a broad
hums
her favorite tune while she sucks away. The vibrations felt against
your
dick will most definitely produce a healthy orgasm.
The Hunter Gatherer: You and your partner defecate while 69ing. Pretty
much
self-explanatory.
The Indian **** Burn: While a girl sucks you off, she twists her hand
around
your shaft as if she were trying to give you use your dick to start a
fire
without a match. (Also known as the "Boy Scout.")
The Jedi Mind Trick: When banging your partner, you repeatedly
shout "I'm
NOT ****ing you, I'm NOT ****ing you."
The Jedi Mind Trick: When banging your partner, you repeatedly
shout "I'm
NOT ****ing you, I'm NOT ****ing you".
The Jelly Donut: Give some skank a facial and follow it up with a
swift pimp
crack in the nose. The resulting blood and jizz that covers her face
bears a
resemblance to a jelly donut.
Juanita's Special Bean Dip: While your girl rides you like a
mechanical
bull, insert your thumb into her poop chute, then during the heat of
passion
-- when she least expects it -- stick your brown thumb into her mouth.
Be
sure to slip it under her tongue so she can get the full robust taste
of the
Juanita "special" bean dip.
Kennebunkport Surprise: The act of covertly filling your cheeks with
chunky-style New England clam chowder, and screaming in disgust as you
hurl
it between your partners legs while eating her out.
Kick-****ing: The act of receiving sexual pleasure from repeatedly
getting
kicked in the ass.
The Landshark: The woman braces herself facing a wall, naked, hands
against
the wall, legs spread, bent over so that her ass is lusciously jutting
out.
Next, the guy also naked as well as stiff ****ed, walks to the
opposite end
of the room, places his palms together and raises them above his head,
(thus
imitating the dorsal fin of a shark) and begins chanting the theme to
"Jaws." When given some predetermined signal, the guy sprints toward
the
girl at full speed with his pelvis-out, fin protruding, and rams her
dead
square in the ass.
The Lorena Bobbitt: When engaging in some hard core bootie sex,
squeeze your
butt cheeks together as tight as you can, and start violently jumping
and
thrashing your ass around, in an effort to rip his dick off. (To reach
true
Lorena status, you must take the severed dick for a drive and then
toss it
out the window.)
The Lost Soldier: After cumming, carefully slide your dick out off the
condom, while still leaving it inside her *****.
The Mentholatum: The act of getting head from a woman who just moments
earlier ate a numerous amounts of cough drops, thus insuring a
pleasurable,
tingly feeling on your ****.
The Melon Dive: Headbutting a woman's big fat titties. Always lots of
fun.
Monet: A girl is considered a Monet when, just like the great works of
the
impressionist painter himself, she is good from afar but far from good.
The Monkey Wrench: When you're on your knees and some sadistic slut
pulls
your dick back between your legs and sucks you off.
Monroe Transfer: When you and your partner connect each other's
*******s
with a tube. One defecates through the tube, thus transferring the
turds to
the rectum of the other.
Moped: A chick that's a fun ride until your friends see you on it, if
you
know what I mean.
The Mork: Made famous by Robin Williams on Mork & Mindy, stick your
pinky
and ring fingers up a girls ass, then jam your middle and index
fingers up
her cunt. (Please note: Not complete until you finish it off with a
Nanoo-Nanoo!
Moses: A man who enjoys going down on a woman during her period.
Derived
from the Biblical figure Moses, who parted the Red Sea.
The Motorboat: While performing oral sex on a girl, flap your lips
together
on her clit, thus imitating the sound of a motorboat. She'll love you
forever.
Muff Teaser: Finger, suck, eat, etc. a girl until she is begging for
it.
Then rub your stiffy round her golden valley until she screams at you
to
give her a banging. Right when her frustration is at its highest
level, stop
and finish with a DIY(do it yourself) handjob. Then leave the room
without
saying a word. Not to be tried if you want to shack up with the
selfish
***** again.
The Mung: Obtain a female that has been dead for 2-3 days (the time
period
since death is important). Then place your mouth just outside her
vaginal
opening. Have a friend jump on her stomach, and try to catch as much
stuff
that comes out as you can in your mouth.
Mushy Biscuit: This is actually a very fun game. Just choose a piece
of food
that you and your male friends like to eat. Then you and your buddies
form a
tight circle around the food item and proceed to jerk off all over it.
Last
one to bust a nut gets the prize of eating the food.
New Jersey Meat-Hook: The unusual method of inserting one's finger in
the
ass of your partner while screwing her, and feeling her cervix. This
procedure is most effective from behind
New York-Style Taco: Anytime when you are so drunk that when you go
down,
you barf on her box. Happy trails!
The Nixon: A variation of the Bullwinkle in which you give two peace
signs
as your signal of dominance. May enhance the act by shaking jowls and
yelling, "I'm not a crook". This is considered very bold and is
frowned upon
for those with a modicum of decorum.
Nut Butter: The sweat and stink of the juices between your nuts and
legs
after a physical work out or sex.
On the Rocks: A great party favorite accomplished by dunking your
ballsac
into someone's drink after he's left the room. When the person
returns,
enjoy the sight of him drinking your scrotal rinsate. Enjoy extra
laughs if
you leave a nice pube in there sticking up like a tacky drink umbrella.
Oyster: A derivation of the tea bag which is accomplished by numbing
one's
testicles with ice and then inserting them in a chicks mouth and
letting the
tramp munch on them.
Pasadena Mudslide: This happens when you leave a windy **** between
the
breasts of a woman while you straddle her neck for a blowjob. (A close
cousin to the Cleveland Steamer.)
Pattycake: While you're nailing some girl doggie style and your friend
is
catching some head off the same girl, you get a quick game of
pattycake
going. This makes you reminisce of your childhood memories and eases
the
sight of watching your friend blow his load.
Paying the Rent: A position in which the woman is folded in half,
knees
above shoulders, while the man holds the balk of her calves and bangs
ferociously.
Peanut Butter And Jelly Sandwich:**** on a woman's snatch during
menstruation. Proceed to munch. Mmmm Mmmm Nasty! (Crunchy or
smooth...depending on what you've been eating.)
Pearl Necklace: Well known. Whenever you cum on the neck/cleavage area
of a
girl - it takes on the look of beautiful jewelry. **** that diamonds
are
forever ****.
The Pig Roast: While you're plugging some girl's hole doggie style,
(up the
dirt road or in the honey pot, pick your poison), she's blowing your
best
friend's **** at the same time, hence simulating a pig on a spit. Very
Similar to Chinese Finger Cuffs.
Pink Glove: Hate when this happens. Every so often a girl is not wet
enough
during sex. When you finally pull out to give her the money shot, the
inside
of her twat sticks to your hog. Thus, the pink glove.
The Pirate's Treasure: While ****ing your girl in the ass, you strike
a
hefty load of ****. After you've found this buried treasure deep in
her
booty, you scream, "Argh!", like a pirate.
Plating: Take a clear, glass plate and place it on your partners face,
then
**** on it. It gives them a nice view without all the messy cleanup.
How
come you don't see that on any Dawn commercials.
The Popcorn Trick: First, take your girlfriend to the cinemas, for a
nice
romantic date. Buy a tub of popcorn, wait until the lights dim, and
carefully make a hole in the bottom on the tub. Then, insert your
penis
through the bottom of the tub into the popcorn and casually offer some
to
your date. When she digs in, she will find nice surprise. Who doesn't
love
buttered popcorn?
Puerto Rican Fog Bank: While 69-ing with your partner, release a cloud
of
sphincter fog directly into her nostrils.
Pull-Start: Put as many anal beads as possible into your partner's
tail end.
Then, when they least suspect it, pull them out like you're starting a
lawnmower.
Purple Mushroom: This occurs when a woman is giving you oral sex and
you
withdraw your penis in order to poke it back into her cheek. It should
leave
a lasting impression similar to a purple mushroom.
Queef: A well known, but sometimes embarrassing occurrence. Queefing
happens
when air gets trapped in a girl's vagina, and makes a soft hissing, or
farting kind of a sound while that air is released.
The Ram: When attacking from behind, you start ramming her head
against the
wall in a rhythmic motion. The force of the wall should allow for
deeper
penetration. Very handy in those lulls in penile sensitivity.
Rear Admiral: An absolute blast. When getting a chick from behind
(while
both partners standing), make sure you don't let her grab on to
anything
when she is bent over. Then, drive you hips into her backside so that
you
end up pushing her forwards. The goal is to push her into a wall or
table.
It's almost as much fun to watch her face hit the floor. You rise to
Admiral
status when you can bang her around the room without crashing into
anything
and not using your hands to grab onto her hips.
Red Wings: Another name for navigating the moose knuckle with your
tongue
while discovering the girl is on her rag. Be a real man and earn your
red
wings soldier!
Resuscitation: When a girl is asleep, carefully open her mouth so that
she
doesn't awake. Then, squat over her face and carefully place your ****
hole
on her lips. When the time is right, you let rip the biggest baddest
fart
ever known to man and see if it wakes her up. Great fun during those
long
sleepless nights.
The Roddy Piper: When getting your girl from behind, you toss the
sleeper
hold on her and knock her out ala Rowdy Roddy Piper. While nailing
your
unconscious victim, you get to simulate your life long dream of
necrophilia.
Now you never have to break into the morgue again.
The Rodeo: Similar to the Bronco. You start once again, banging a
chick from
behind. At a pre-arranged time you grab her hair with one hand just as
several buddies bust into the room. See if you can hang on for 8
seconds
cowboy. Yee Haw!
The Rose Creeper: Seductively brush a beautiful long stem red rose
against
your sweetheart's neck, breasts, and inner thigh. Slowly rub the rose
along
her smooth skin as you tenderly kiss her entire body. After working
her into
the mood for some deep love making, unzip your fly and pull out your
raging
boner. Begin to punish-**** her dumper while whipping her with the
rose and
screaming nasty obscenities at her. I bet she never saw that coming.
Rot Bush: A nasty patch of, wiry, unkempt, overgrown pubic hair.
The Rusty Trombone: This is what happens when your girlfriend is
tongue-deep
in your chute. She wiggles her tongue and as she does, she reaches
around to
pump your prick like a Catholic priest doing an Altar Boy, thus
mimicking a
trombone player.
Sandbag: Under an assumed name in a tropical region, you meet a young
hottie
and engage in the well known cliche of sex on the beach. Just before
insertion, remove the rubber (without getting caught of course), and
proceed
to bang away until you blow your load, without pulling out. As you
dismount
and prepare for departure, grab a handful of sand, throw it in her
eyes, and
run away laughing hysterically while leaving her blinded, butt-necked,
and
knocked up. Especially lots of fun when accomplished during the spring
break
season.
The Screwnicorn: When a lesbian puts her strap-on dildo on her
forehead and
proceeds to go at her partner like a crazed unicorn.
The Seatbelt: While one gay guy straddles his partner's ****, he
receives a
blow job from his partner on the bottom. You need to be really limber
and
very hung to pull this off.
70, 71 or 72: A 69 with one, two, or three fingers inserted into the
anus.
Shirley Temple: Pour a can of 7-Up or Sprite on a girl's menstruating
*****
and eat her out.
The Shocker: When you insert your index and middle fingers in the
woman's
vagina and pinky in her anus. After giving her a few good minutes of
double
duty finger banging, pull your fingers out and give your index and
middle
finger a quick sniff and pinky a good sucking, all in one smooth
motion.(a.k.a. Smoking the Pinky.)
Shop Vac: When a talented trollop stuffs you're entire package (balls
and
all) into her mouth, and blows you with amazing suction power.
Shrimping: The term for licking or sucking your partner's toes.
Silent Alarm: When you're banging a girl and her husband or boyfriend
pulls
up in the driveway.
Skiing: While facing in the same direction, a girl gets between two
guys and
jerks them both off, thus imitating some hardcore cross-country action.
Sleeping with the Fishes: A female version of the "wet nap" that is
accomplished by rubbing her wet twat all over a guy's pillow.
Slump Buster: When a professional athlete finds the dirtiest,
nastiest,
fattest skank and puts the wood to her with the intent that it will
help him
get out of his slump.
The Smoking Pinky: When you insert your index and middle fingers in
the
woman's vagina and pinky in her anus. After giving her a few good
minutes of
double duty finger banging, pull your fingers out and give your index
and
middle finger a quick sniff and pinky a good sucking, all in one
smooth
motion.
Snoodling: When an uncircumcised guy pulls his extra foreskin over the
****
of another guy and proceeds to jerk him off. Those gays have way too
much
free time. Can be used at as a great derogatory term as in, "You
Snoodler!"
The Sneaky Pete: While throwing it to your lady doggy-style, get going
with
long, fast strokes, and pull all the way out during a stroke and
replant
yourself in her ass instead of her box. If she complains, you can say
it was
an accident!
Snerd Nurgling: The act of moving your anal lovers turds about within
his/her lower intestine with your dick. Really popular with the
lavender
boys, hence the expression, "Oh Lance, Nergle me you Snerd"...
Snoodling: When an uncircumcised homo pulls his extra foreskin over
the ****
of another homo and proceeds to jerk him off. Those gays have way too
much
free time. Can be used at as a great derogatory term as in, "You
Snoodler!"
Snowball: Ah yes, every man's worst nightmare, the dreaded snowball.
This
happens when a girl blows you and spits the jizz in your mouth.
Another
definition is when a girl blows some other guy, and then gives you a
hot
sloppy kiss with some of that guy's fresh jizz still in her mouth.
With all
those dirty broads out there, odds are it has happened to you. Just
ask your
friends if it has, cause they probably already know and have been
laughing
their asses off at you.
The Snuff: Lovingly **** the **** out of your virgin or ragging
girlfriend
and wipe your bloody member across her face. Take a couple Polaroids,
show
them to your friends, and brag that you're a snuff film superstar.
The Soggy Biscuit: This is actually a very fun game. Just choose a
piece of
food that you and your male friends like to eat. Then you and your
buddies
form a tight circle around the food item and proceed to jerk off all
over
it. Last one to bust a nut gets the prize of eating the food.
The Samoan Piledriver: Get your woman to do a demi-headstand, propping
her
hips up on her hands and rolling so only her shoulders are touching
the
bed/floor. Stand over her, point your gig due South, and bend your
knees
repeatedly for pile-driving fun!
Stranger: Sitting on your hand until it falls asleep and then jerking
off,
giving you the feeling of a hand job from someone else.
Stranger On The Rocks: Numbing your hand by sticking it in a bucket of
ice
and then jerking off. Spanken not stirred.
Strangers In The Night: When you and your gay buddy each numb your
hand (you
should know how by now) and spank each other off. Thus eliciting the
feeling
of a hand job from someone else, from someone else.
Stingy Nut: When a chick isn't worth ****ing; pull down her pants,
bend her
over, and jerk off all over her ass.
Sud N' Fud: When trying to bang a girl, she gives that same old
story, "I
not that kind of girl.", "I don't **** on the first date.", "I'm
catholic.",
"Stop assholio.", etc. etc... After hearing all this bull****, you
whip out
your handy bar of soap. Then lather up her armpit (or any other joint
you
prefer), and proceed to **** that instead.
Surfing: This happens when you nail a fat woman. As you watch the
rippling
effect of her rolls with every thrust, along with the feeling of being
drenched, off balance, out of control, and in danger, you are given
the
sense of riding the ultimate wave.
Swimmer's Ear: When a girl is giving you a good sucking and right
before you
erupt, you remove yourself from her mouth, place your purple head in
her
ear, and fill her ear with some sweet love seed.
Three-Eyed Turtle: Basically plug every orifice of a girl in the
following
manner: thumb in ass, fingers in *****, and dick in mouth.
Tea Bag: To perform the tea bag, have the girl lay flat on her back.
Then
you squat over her with your hands on your knees, and gently dip your
nut
sac in and out of her mouth in a motion similar to performing some
kind of
****ed up yoga exercise.
3-Eyed Turtle: Basically plug every orifice of a girl in the following
manner: thumb in ass, fingers in *****, and dick in mouth.
The Tortoise: When you eat out someone who doesn't have pubic hair
yet --
i.e. you got there before the hair (hare) did.
Tossing Salad: A common prison act where one person basically chows
assholio
with the help of whatever condiments are available. (I.e. jelly,
syrup,
olive oil, etc.)
Tropical Wind: When getting your assholio eaten out by a worthless
tramp,
you break wind.
The Trifecta: Screwing three women or men in the same night without
any of
them knowing about the others. Showering in between is strictly
forbidden.
Tuna Melt: You're down on a chick lapping away and discover that it
just
happens to be that time of the month. By no means do you stop though.
When
the whale spews tartar sauce with a hint of raspberry smothers your
face.
The Tupperware Party: You and two of your buddies triple-team your
favorite
whore, one with his penis in her mouth, another in her vagina, and the
third
in her anus. So named because she is sealed air-tight.
Tucked In: When your father or other male relative stops by your room
at
night to "tuck you in."
Twisted Sister: Have your dominatrix girlfriend dress up in some hot
black
leather gimp wear and proceed to handcuff your hands behind your back
and
then force you to your knees. Unsuspecting, diminutive, and cradled
over
with your ass is in the air, she then gives you the most erotic enema
of
your life. Now that's some great S&M fun.
Upper Deck: Next time you're at the house of someone you hate, remove
the
lid to the top portion of the toilet (where the handle is located),
take a
wicked **** in the water, and place the lid back on. Your pal will go
insane
trying to figure out where the foul stench is coming from.
Vegetarian Hot Lunch: A variation of the Hot Lunch in which the diner
stretches a piece of saran wrap over her mouth such that chewing (for
texture) is possible, but no actual contact with waste product occurs.
Wake-Up Call: Waking up in the middle of the night with the hard-on of
your
life. You then turn to your fast asleep partner and dry **** her ass
into
oblivion. The clincher to performing a wake up call is to act like
nothing
of the sort happened in the morning. "Sweetheart, what's that on your
back?"
The Walrus: After cumming inside a girl's mouth, you pinch the center
of her
two lips together and hold her nose. This will force the cum to
dribble out
of the sides of her mouth, thus the teeth of the walrus.
Wet Nap: When you let your load out on a girl's pillow, and then make
her
sleep on it.
Western Grip: When jerking off, turn your hand around, so that your
thumb is
facing towards you. It is the same grip that rodeo folks use, hence,
western.
Westside Glaze: Same as the ******** glaze, but the majority of your
jizz
lands on the left side of her face.
The Woody Woodpecker: When a girl is sucking on your balls, tap your
**** on
her forehead.
The Zombie Mask: While getting head from your favorite, unsuspecting,
trash-barrel whore, tell her you want her to look right up at you with
those
"pretty little eyes" when you blow your load. Then, just when you're
ready
to spew a good weeks worth of goo, blast that hefty load in both eyes.
This
temporary state of blindness will produce the zombie effect as she
stumbles
around the room with arms outstretched, and moaning like the walking
dead.
Angry Dragon: Immediately after you blow your load inside a girl's
mouth, smack the back of her head and make your spooge come out her
nose. When she gets up she'll look like an angry dragon.
Arabian Goggles: A "seldom-seen" maneuver where you put your testicles
over her eye sockets while she's eating out your ass.
Bait-n-Tackle: This one was used by the sailors from the old Navy
days. Before you go off for a long, lonely voyage, get yourself a tall
jar and fill it completely with earthworms. When you get lonely, open
the jar and **** away. The earthworms will provide some slithery
stimulation, and your protein load will keep them nicely nourished.
Ballsacking: Takes some luck of the gene pool, but if you're able to
do it, always great fun. While you are straddling her, take your
nutsack and spread it out over her face like pizza dough.
Bear Claw: The shanked out remains of the labia after being stretched
like Play-Dough from an hour or so of power jack-hammering.
Beef Curtain: The shanked out remains of the labia after being
stretched like Play-Doh from an hour or so of jimmy-jam.
Beer Dick: This is what most guys get after a good night of drinking.
They tend to **** anything with a ***** while experiencing "beer dick."
Blocking the Box: When you and your pal are double teaming a chick,
make sure you are taking her doggy style while he's got her mouth.
Selfishly, drop your load in her, thus preventing him from using that
input later! (aka Access Denied Error, Road Closed Due to Bad
Conditions)
Blumpy: You need to find a real tramp to do this right. It involves
having her sucking you off while you are on the ****ter.
The Boston Shocker: After plunging your unit in your partner's poop-
chute, pull it out, and make her suck clean. Then stick it back into
her anus. Repeat.
The Boomerang: After spewing your mighty load into a girl's mouth, she
pretends to eat your assholio, but instead, spits the jizz up your ass.
The Bronco: You start by going doggy style and then just when she is
really enjoying it, you grab her tits as tight as possible and yell
another girls name. This gives you the feeling of riding a wild bronco
as she desperately tries to buck you off.
The Brushback Pitch: When you're getting head, yell "Batter Up!" Then,
quickly pull out and give her a dick in the ear.
Brown Bagging It: Sometimes you meet a girl with a body like there's
no tomorrow but a face like a mangy dog. Don't let that body go to
waste and let her hideousness stop you from ****ing her though. Just
draw the smiley face on a brown paper bag, place it over her head, and
**** away while keeping your composure and piece of mind.
Brown Necktie: You're about halfway through ass-wrecking a chick, and
instead of filling up her kiester with your demon seed, you pull out
and proceed to tit **** her, leaving a brown streak between her
funbags.
Brunski: When a man puts his face between a woman's breasts and
quickly moves his head back and forth while saying "Brunski" in a very
drawn out and exaggerated manner. (There are many other variant names.)
The Bullwinkle: The sign given to a friend in hiding while doggie
styling' some chick. It is performed by placing both hands over the
head, with palms facing out and waving wildly. Can be supplemented by
shouting "Hey Rocky." (Make sure to use appropriate Bullwinkle voice
tone.)
Butter Face: When you see a chick with an awesome body "but her face"
is hideous.
The Canine Special: Liberally apply peanut butter to your dick and
call over the family dog. "Lick, Fido, lick. Good dog!" Woof!
The Carpet Cleaner: While banging a girl doggy style, tie her arms
behind her back, lift up her hips, and run around the room pushing her
face first across the carpet. Not recommended with large women.Cheese
Grater: When some ***** with braces gives you a blow job.
The Chili Dog: When you take a hot dump on a girl's tits and then
proceed to titty **** her.
Chocolate Pizza: Happily discovering hemorrhoids while rimming
someone's bunghole.
Choda: The sweet spot between a man's assholio and his scrotum (aka,
perineum).
Cleveland Steamer: The act of leaving a **** stain on the rib cage of
a woman while receiving penile pleasure from friction between the
mammaries.
Club SPED: Having sex with a retarded person. The "SPED" comes from
the term "Special Ed."
****-Stuffing: Apparently somewhat on the fringe in gay circles, this
practice involves using thin, cylindrical items (thermometers, wire,
rubber worms, etc.), and inserting them into the dick hole. Over many
months, continue to gradually stretch out the hole with larger items,
thus ultimately allowing your "buddy" to obtain the goal of ****ing
your urethra. Wow!
Cold Lunch: The act of vomiting directly onto some chick's head while
she's performing fellatio.
The Concoction: First, ejaculate all over the floor. Next, have your
psycho ***** girlfriend menstruate on your semen. Stir it with your
finger until you get a nice thick pink mixture. Proceed to paint
yourselves up silly, just as if you were in kindergarten again.
The Compton Gangbang: You meet a young lady at the bar. She tells you
she has a boyfriend, but she ends up going home with you anyway for a
one-night stand. When you take her to your place, tell your friends to
wait outside your bedroom door. Just when she's about to get off, your
friends barge in the room and plainly beat the **** out of her. That
should teach her not to
**** around. (Ladies, feel free to perform a Compton Gangbang on guys
too. I know you've got some fat girlfriends to help you out.)
Cop's Delight: The act of ****ing a girl doggie-style (in either
hole), pulling out, and ejaculating all over her "pastry buns, thus
transforming her rump into the illusion of an oversized, quivering
glazed donut. (Also known as the "Krispy Kreme.")
The Corkscrew: Cross your fingers, middle over index. Twist your wrist
back and forth and go to work on your desired orifice. With practice,
you'll have the effectiveness of a dill press and within weeks you'll
be able to bore through wood.
Corn: From the fine campus of Cornell University comes this unique,
rarely used term. Saying that a girl is "Corn" means, she is so
****ing hot, so beautiful, so utterly drop-dead gorgeous, that you
would happily eat the corn out of her ****. Can be used as a great
pick-up line or friendly compliment, for instance: "Baby, you're more
Corn than the Green Giant", or "damn *****, you are Corn!"
Couch Bombing: When you fill a small ziploc sandwich bag with Crisco
(or your favorite lubrication) and place it between the cushions on
the couch. You then proceed to **** the couch as if it were a
woman...but no need to buy It dinner first
Coyote: This occurs when you wake up in the room of a nasty wombat and
you know you've got to give her the slip. However, you realize that
your arm is wrapped around her. Therefore you must gnaw off your own
arm to get out of the situation. Can be very painful.
Cream Graffiti: When two gay partners **** each other up the wazoo,
and then squeal out a massive fart, spraying the gizz all over
themselves.
Cum Dumpster: A quadriplegic whore.
Cum Guzzling Sperm Burping *****: The once in a lifetime act when
blowing a hot steamy load down the back of the girl's throat, proceed
to give her a large cold bottle of your most favorite carbonated drink
and make her guzzle it down. Then, shake her head vigorously back and
forth to create the Cum Guzzling, Sperm Burping effect. A great way to
impress your friends.
Daisy Chain: Partner (A) is sucking off or eating out Partner (B) who
is sucking off or eating out partner © and so on until the final
person is sucking off or eating out partner (A).
Davey Crockett: A sexual maneuver in which you slip muscle relaxants
into your gal's snizzpod, then slide your head in, thus wearing your
partner's now-relaxed snatch-fur as a coonskin cap. Can come in handy
on those cold winter nights.
The Dirty Sanchez: A time honored event in which while laying the bone
doggy style, you insert your finger into her assholio. You then pull
it out and wipe it across her upper lip leaving a thin **** mustache.
This makes her look like someone whose name is Dirty Sanchez.
Dirty Swirly: While boning a chick doggie style near a toilet
(preferably one filled with a healthy load of ****, or some hot piss,
or both), stick her head in the toilet and flush...she'll dig it.
The Double-Take: When you bang a chick in her assholio with such ease
and room you have to keep looking down because you can't believe it's
not her *****. Also known as the "Kidding Me" because it makes you
want to shout "You've got to be kidding me that this is your assholio!"
The Donkey Punch: Bang a girl doggy style, and then moments before you
cum, stick your dick in her ass, and punch her in the back of the
neck. The blow to the neck will stun the muscles in the female's ass,
which will constrict your penis and give you a tremendous orgasmic
experience when you ejaculate.
The Dog In a Bathtub: Insert your nuts into your girl's ass. You will
find it's as hard to keep them there as it is to keep a dog in a
bathtub.
Dropping the Chalupa: Fill a sock with as many bodily excrements as
you have available, and whack some slut over the head with it. Best
accomplished if it's a surprise during some hot back-door action.
Duct Tape Trick: Wrapping a hamster in duct tape so you can safely
**** it without the danger of a messy split.
Dutch Oven: Entrapping an unsuspecting sleeping partner in a world of
ass odor by farting under the covers and pulling them over her head
(and yours as well if you're into that sort of thing).
Dutch Treat: The unexpected result of a Dutch Oven gone terribly awry.
Can be very messy.
Dussy: The act of tucking your limp penis behind and in between your
legs, thus imitating a woman's genitalia.
DVDA: The abbreviation for "double-anal, double-vaginal". This is the
term used when a girl takes four ****s in two holes. A hard core pr0n
industry norm.
The Electric Chair: Your psycho***** girlfriend decides she wants to
try something kinky, so she props your stupid naive ass up in a chair,
strips you down, and ties you up. After arousing you, she then takes a
car battery and clamps two jumper cables to each nut sack. This causes
you to have all sorts of synapses, spasms, and convulsions. She then
mounts your Frankenstein and proceeds to get electro****ed. Warning!
May cause erectile dysfunction after performed.
Felching: A gay activity which I do not condone at all. It happens
when one *** ****s another *** in the ass and then sucks the jizz out
with a straw. Only included for those of you who are considering going
to jail. *note: never seen it done with a straw...
Finger-Painting: Rubbing your girlfriend's menstrual fluids all over
both your bodies. If you're feeling especially bold, you may mix your
own semen with her discharge to create a nice, thick pink painting
mixture.
The Fish Eye: From behind, you shove both fists in her ass (or his if
in prison). Thereupon she turns around in a one-eyed winking
motionsignaling that she has been there and done that.
Fish Hook: When you pull back towards the ***** after you stick your
finger up her anus.
The Fire Island: This consists of telling someone you're going to
spunk on their face while they are asleep, only half-jokingly, and
then when they don't believe you, doing it just to prove that you're
that demented.
The Flaming Amazon: This one's for all you pyromaniacs out there. When
your screwing some girl, right when your about to cum, you pull out
and quickly grab the nearest lighter and set her pubes on fire, then
extinguish the flames with your jizz!
Flooding the Cave: Inserting the penis into a woman's ***** and then
urinating inside her. Applies to butt pirates as well.
The Flying Camel: A personal favorite. As she is lying on her back and
you are hammering her from your knees. You very carefully move forward
and prop yourself (without using your arms) on your dick while it is
still inserted in her vagina. You then proceed to flap your arms and
let out a long shrieking howl much like a flying camel. Strictly a
classy move.
The Flying Dutchman: This didn't used to be a specific deviant sexual
act, it was just a phrase that sounded dirty and would be shouted out
during intercourse on occasion simply for the novelty factor. However,
its popularity increased and it has now developed into a specific act,
namely that of, just as you are about to blow a load, in any sort of
sexual situation (even masturbation for those true pioneers who are
constantly on the cutting edge of the sexual revolution) you begin to
shout, "Here comes the Flying Dutchman!" This should confuse your
sexual partner (or whoever is in hearing range) completely, sometimes
causing interesting side effects.
The Flying Squirrel: Spread your balls to receive a licking right up
the middle.
Four-Wheel Drive: ****ing or getting ****ed during the peak of your
genital herpes flare up, because while you ****, it's quite a bumpy
ride.
The Fortune Cookie: This maneuver is intended to teach fledgling
hookers to swallow what we give them. If after a sensational round of
knob-slobbing the slut deposits your wealth somewhere other than her
stomach, quickly take your knee to her jaw. Your new lucky number is
equal to the amount of teeth you knock out. Confucius would be proud.
The Fountain Of You: While sitting on her face and having her eat your
ass, jerk off like a madman. Build up as much pressure as possible
before you release and spew like a venerable geyser all over her face,
neck and tits. (Better in her bed)
The Furr Ball: You're chomping away at some mighty trollop who has a
mane between her legs the size of Lionel Richie's afro, a mammoth hair
ball gets lodged into your throat.
The Game of Smiles: Sit around a circular table with a group of
friends, with a woman giving random blowjobs underneath the table.
Anyone who "smiles" has to buy a round of beer for the rest. It's a
Boys' Town specialty!
The Glazed Doughnut: After taking a girl in the ass, pull out, and
splooge all over her pastry-buns, transforming her rump into the
allusion of an oversized, quivering glazed doughnut.
Gobstopper: With two hands, spread your tramp's anus open, then spit a
big-ass phlegm blob down the assholio then close it back up. You can
give her a smack on the ass when you're done, if you want.
Golden Shower: Any form of dropping piss all over your partner. Great
for those who like watersports.
Greek: The act of using your "glue stick" (if you know what I'm
saying) and gluing your gal's eyes closed with your man seed.
E.g. "Hey guys, check it out, I just greeked her!" or "Sorry honey,
but you asked for the Greek salad
The Ham & Cheese Sandwich: Eating a woman's box after you ejaculate
all over it. A delightful, tasty combination of her yummy meat
curtains with your added cheesy topping is sure to appeal to anyone's
appetite. (Considered a
variation of felching.)
Hershey Highway: When plowing your girl in the ass, you run into some
hot diarrhea. Don't hurt her feelings by getting grossed out though --
just pretend it's extra lube.
The Hindenburg: When some girl who is so bad at oral sex, you're
forced to cry "Oh! The humanity!" as her teeth scrape your mantool.
The High Dive: The skill of pulling your johnson all the way out of
your partner's hole, and in one motion jamming it home again. Best
suited for use in the cornhole, but can be very dangerous.
Hogging: While intoxicated, high, or just plain desperate, you go
searching for the fattest ***** you can find and proceed to ride her
like a Harley. Best accomplished with large groups friends.
Hole in One: The act of sticking your dick in your own ass. Just try
not to get a huge boner once it's in, or you'll get a nice snap-a-roo.
Hotdog in a Hallway: When laying the pipe, you realize your dick isn't
even touching the walls of her vagina -- kind of like tossing a hotdog
in a hallway. Most frequently happens when banging the neighborhood
whore or if you're slinging a small dick.
Hot Karl: The act in which a woman sucks the **** of the same man who,
moments earlier, was balls-deep inside her snatch.
Hot Karl Candy Cane: A variation of the above in which the man who is
receiving the oral **** cleaning gives the woman a reach around.
Hot Lunch: The result of defecating a tube of **** directly into a
girl's
mouth.
The Houdini: While getting a girl from behind, you pull out and spit
on her
back, creating the illusion that you've completed the transaction.
When she
turns around, blow your load in her face. She'll want to know how you
made
another shot magically appear.
Hummer: The well known added variation to a blowjob in which a broad
hums
her favorite tune while she sucks away. The vibrations felt against
your
dick will most definitely produce a healthy orgasm.
The Hunter Gatherer: You and your partner defecate while 69ing. Pretty
much
self-explanatory.
The Indian **** Burn: While a girl sucks you off, she twists her hand
around
your shaft as if she were trying to give you use your dick to start a
fire
without a match. (Also known as the "Boy Scout.")
The Jedi Mind Trick: When banging your partner, you repeatedly
shout "I'm
NOT ****ing you, I'm NOT ****ing you."
The Jedi Mind Trick: When banging your partner, you repeatedly
shout "I'm
NOT ****ing you, I'm NOT ****ing you".
The Jelly Donut: Give some skank a facial and follow it up with a
swift pimp
crack in the nose. The resulting blood and jizz that covers her face
bears a
resemblance to a jelly donut.
Juanita's Special Bean Dip: While your girl rides you like a
mechanical
bull, insert your thumb into her poop chute, then during the heat of
passion
-- when she least expects it -- stick your brown thumb into her mouth.
Be
sure to slip it under her tongue so she can get the full robust taste
of the
Juanita "special" bean dip.
Kennebunkport Surprise: The act of covertly filling your cheeks with
chunky-style New England clam chowder, and screaming in disgust as you
hurl
it between your partners legs while eating her out.
Kick-****ing: The act of receiving sexual pleasure from repeatedly
getting
kicked in the ass.
The Landshark: The woman braces herself facing a wall, naked, hands
against
the wall, legs spread, bent over so that her ass is lusciously jutting
out.
Next, the guy also naked as well as stiff ****ed, walks to the
opposite end
of the room, places his palms together and raises them above his head,
(thus
imitating the dorsal fin of a shark) and begins chanting the theme to
"Jaws." When given some predetermined signal, the guy sprints toward
the
girl at full speed with his pelvis-out, fin protruding, and rams her
dead
square in the ass.
The Lorena Bobbitt: When engaging in some hard core bootie sex,
squeeze your
butt cheeks together as tight as you can, and start violently jumping
and
thrashing your ass around, in an effort to rip his dick off. (To reach
true
Lorena status, you must take the severed dick for a drive and then
toss it
out the window.)
The Lost Soldier: After cumming, carefully slide your dick out off the
condom, while still leaving it inside her *****.
The Mentholatum: The act of getting head from a woman who just moments
earlier ate a numerous amounts of cough drops, thus insuring a
pleasurable,
tingly feeling on your ****.
The Melon Dive: Headbutting a woman's big fat titties. Always lots of
fun.
Monet: A girl is considered a Monet when, just like the great works of
the
impressionist painter himself, she is good from afar but far from good.
The Monkey Wrench: When you're on your knees and some sadistic slut
pulls
your dick back between your legs and sucks you off.
Monroe Transfer: When you and your partner connect each other's
*******s
with a tube. One defecates through the tube, thus transferring the
turds to
the rectum of the other.
Moped: A chick that's a fun ride until your friends see you on it, if
you
know what I mean.
The Mork: Made famous by Robin Williams on Mork & Mindy, stick your
pinky
and ring fingers up a girls ass, then jam your middle and index
fingers up
her cunt. (Please note: Not complete until you finish it off with a
Nanoo-Nanoo!
Moses: A man who enjoys going down on a woman during her period.
Derived
from the Biblical figure Moses, who parted the Red Sea.
The Motorboat: While performing oral sex on a girl, flap your lips
together
on her clit, thus imitating the sound of a motorboat. She'll love you
forever.
Muff Teaser: Finger, suck, eat, etc. a girl until she is begging for
it.
Then rub your stiffy round her golden valley until she screams at you
to
give her a banging. Right when her frustration is at its highest
level, stop
and finish with a DIY(do it yourself) handjob. Then leave the room
without
saying a word. Not to be tried if you want to shack up with the
selfish
***** again.
The Mung: Obtain a female that has been dead for 2-3 days (the time
period
since death is important). Then place your mouth just outside her
vaginal
opening. Have a friend jump on her stomach, and try to catch as much
stuff
that comes out as you can in your mouth.
Mushy Biscuit: This is actually a very fun game. Just choose a piece
of food
that you and your male friends like to eat. Then you and your buddies
form a
tight circle around the food item and proceed to jerk off all over it.
Last
one to bust a nut gets the prize of eating the food.
New Jersey Meat-Hook: The unusual method of inserting one's finger in
the
ass of your partner while screwing her, and feeling her cervix. This
procedure is most effective from behind
New York-Style Taco: Anytime when you are so drunk that when you go
down,
you barf on her box. Happy trails!
The Nixon: A variation of the Bullwinkle in which you give two peace
signs
as your signal of dominance. May enhance the act by shaking jowls and
yelling, "I'm not a crook". This is considered very bold and is
frowned upon
for those with a modicum of decorum.
Nut Butter: The sweat and stink of the juices between your nuts and
legs
after a physical work out or sex.
On the Rocks: A great party favorite accomplished by dunking your
ballsac
into someone's drink after he's left the room. When the person
returns,
enjoy the sight of him drinking your scrotal rinsate. Enjoy extra
laughs if
you leave a nice pube in there sticking up like a tacky drink umbrella.
Oyster: A derivation of the tea bag which is accomplished by numbing
one's
testicles with ice and then inserting them in a chicks mouth and
letting the
tramp munch on them.
Pasadena Mudslide: This happens when you leave a windy **** between
the
breasts of a woman while you straddle her neck for a blowjob. (A close
cousin to the Cleveland Steamer.)
Pattycake: While you're nailing some girl doggie style and your friend
is
catching some head off the same girl, you get a quick game of
pattycake
going. This makes you reminisce of your childhood memories and eases
the
sight of watching your friend blow his load.
Paying the Rent: A position in which the woman is folded in half,
knees
above shoulders, while the man holds the balk of her calves and bangs
ferociously.
Peanut Butter And Jelly Sandwich:**** on a woman's snatch during
menstruation. Proceed to munch. Mmmm Mmmm Nasty! (Crunchy or
smooth...depending on what you've been eating.)
Pearl Necklace: Well known. Whenever you cum on the neck/cleavage area
of a
girl - it takes on the look of beautiful jewelry. **** that diamonds
are
forever ****.
The Pig Roast: While you're plugging some girl's hole doggie style,
(up the
dirt road or in the honey pot, pick your poison), she's blowing your
best
friend's **** at the same time, hence simulating a pig on a spit. Very
Similar to Chinese Finger Cuffs.
Pink Glove: Hate when this happens. Every so often a girl is not wet
enough
during sex. When you finally pull out to give her the money shot, the
inside
of her twat sticks to your hog. Thus, the pink glove.
The Pirate's Treasure: While ****ing your girl in the ass, you strike
a
hefty load of ****. After you've found this buried treasure deep in
her
booty, you scream, "Argh!", like a pirate.
Plating: Take a clear, glass plate and place it on your partners face,
then
**** on it. It gives them a nice view without all the messy cleanup.
How
come you don't see that on any Dawn commercials.
The Popcorn Trick: First, take your girlfriend to the cinemas, for a
nice
romantic date. Buy a tub of popcorn, wait until the lights dim, and
carefully make a hole in the bottom on the tub. Then, insert your
penis
through the bottom of the tub into the popcorn and casually offer some
to
your date. When she digs in, she will find nice surprise. Who doesn't
love
buttered popcorn?
Puerto Rican Fog Bank: While 69-ing with your partner, release a cloud
of
sphincter fog directly into her nostrils.
Pull-Start: Put as many anal beads as possible into your partner's
tail end.
Then, when they least suspect it, pull them out like you're starting a
lawnmower.
Purple Mushroom: This occurs when a woman is giving you oral sex and
you
withdraw your penis in order to poke it back into her cheek. It should
leave
a lasting impression similar to a purple mushroom.
Queef: A well known, but sometimes embarrassing occurrence. Queefing
happens
when air gets trapped in a girl's vagina, and makes a soft hissing, or
farting kind of a sound while that air is released.
The Ram: When attacking from behind, you start ramming her head
against the
wall in a rhythmic motion. The force of the wall should allow for
deeper
penetration. Very handy in those lulls in penile sensitivity.
Rear Admiral: An absolute blast. When getting a chick from behind
(while
both partners standing), make sure you don't let her grab on to
anything
when she is bent over. Then, drive you hips into her backside so that
you
end up pushing her forwards. The goal is to push her into a wall or
table.
It's almost as much fun to watch her face hit the floor. You rise to
Admiral
status when you can bang her around the room without crashing into
anything
and not using your hands to grab onto her hips.
Red Wings: Another name for navigating the moose knuckle with your
tongue
while discovering the girl is on her rag. Be a real man and earn your
red
wings soldier!
Resuscitation: When a girl is asleep, carefully open her mouth so that
she
doesn't awake. Then, squat over her face and carefully place your ****
hole
on her lips. When the time is right, you let rip the biggest baddest
fart
ever known to man and see if it wakes her up. Great fun during those
long
sleepless nights.
The Roddy Piper: When getting your girl from behind, you toss the
sleeper
hold on her and knock her out ala Rowdy Roddy Piper. While nailing
your
unconscious victim, you get to simulate your life long dream of
necrophilia.
Now you never have to break into the morgue again.
The Rodeo: Similar to the Bronco. You start once again, banging a
chick from
behind. At a pre-arranged time you grab her hair with one hand just as
several buddies bust into the room. See if you can hang on for 8
seconds
cowboy. Yee Haw!
The Rose Creeper: Seductively brush a beautiful long stem red rose
against
your sweetheart's neck, breasts, and inner thigh. Slowly rub the rose
along
her smooth skin as you tenderly kiss her entire body. After working
her into
the mood for some deep love making, unzip your fly and pull out your
raging
boner. Begin to punish-**** her dumper while whipping her with the
rose and
screaming nasty obscenities at her. I bet she never saw that coming.
Rot Bush: A nasty patch of, wiry, unkempt, overgrown pubic hair.
The Rusty Trombone: This is what happens when your girlfriend is
tongue-deep
in your chute. She wiggles her tongue and as she does, she reaches
around to
pump your prick like a Catholic priest doing an Altar Boy, thus
mimicking a
trombone player.
Sandbag: Under an assumed name in a tropical region, you meet a young
hottie
and engage in the well known cliche of sex on the beach. Just before
insertion, remove the rubber (without getting caught of course), and
proceed
to bang away until you blow your load, without pulling out. As you
dismount
and prepare for departure, grab a handful of sand, throw it in her
eyes, and
run away laughing hysterically while leaving her blinded, butt-necked,
and
knocked up. Especially lots of fun when accomplished during the spring
break
season.
The Screwnicorn: When a lesbian puts her strap-on dildo on her
forehead and
proceeds to go at her partner like a crazed unicorn.
The Seatbelt: While one gay guy straddles his partner's ****, he
receives a
blow job from his partner on the bottom. You need to be really limber
and
very hung to pull this off.
70, 71 or 72: A 69 with one, two, or three fingers inserted into the
anus.
Shirley Temple: Pour a can of 7-Up or Sprite on a girl's menstruating
*****
and eat her out.
The Shocker: When you insert your index and middle fingers in the
woman's
vagina and pinky in her anus. After giving her a few good minutes of
double
duty finger banging, pull your fingers out and give your index and
middle
finger a quick sniff and pinky a good sucking, all in one smooth
motion.(a.k.a. Smoking the Pinky.)
Shop Vac: When a talented trollop stuffs you're entire package (balls
and
all) into her mouth, and blows you with amazing suction power.
Shrimping: The term for licking or sucking your partner's toes.
Silent Alarm: When you're banging a girl and her husband or boyfriend
pulls
up in the driveway.
Skiing: While facing in the same direction, a girl gets between two
guys and
jerks them both off, thus imitating some hardcore cross-country action.
Sleeping with the Fishes: A female version of the "wet nap" that is
accomplished by rubbing her wet twat all over a guy's pillow.
Slump Buster: When a professional athlete finds the dirtiest,
nastiest,
fattest skank and puts the wood to her with the intent that it will
help him
get out of his slump.
The Smoking Pinky: When you insert your index and middle fingers in
the
woman's vagina and pinky in her anus. After giving her a few good
minutes of
double duty finger banging, pull your fingers out and give your index
and
middle finger a quick sniff and pinky a good sucking, all in one
smooth
motion.
Snoodling: When an uncircumcised guy pulls his extra foreskin over the
****
of another guy and proceeds to jerk him off. Those gays have way too
much
free time. Can be used at as a great derogatory term as in, "You
Snoodler!"
The Sneaky Pete: While throwing it to your lady doggy-style, get going
with
long, fast strokes, and pull all the way out during a stroke and
replant
yourself in her ass instead of her box. If she complains, you can say
it was
an accident!
Snerd Nurgling: The act of moving your anal lovers turds about within
his/her lower intestine with your dick. Really popular with the
lavender
boys, hence the expression, "Oh Lance, Nergle me you Snerd"...
Snoodling: When an uncircumcised homo pulls his extra foreskin over
the ****
of another homo and proceeds to jerk him off. Those gays have way too
much
free time. Can be used at as a great derogatory term as in, "You
Snoodler!"
Snowball: Ah yes, every man's worst nightmare, the dreaded snowball.
This
happens when a girl blows you and spits the jizz in your mouth.
Another
definition is when a girl blows some other guy, and then gives you a
hot
sloppy kiss with some of that guy's fresh jizz still in her mouth.
With all
those dirty broads out there, odds are it has happened to you. Just
ask your
friends if it has, cause they probably already know and have been
laughing
their asses off at you.
The Snuff: Lovingly **** the **** out of your virgin or ragging
girlfriend
and wipe your bloody member across her face. Take a couple Polaroids,
show
them to your friends, and brag that you're a snuff film superstar.
The Soggy Biscuit: This is actually a very fun game. Just choose a
piece of
food that you and your male friends like to eat. Then you and your
buddies
form a tight circle around the food item and proceed to jerk off all
over
it. Last one to bust a nut gets the prize of eating the food.
The Samoan Piledriver: Get your woman to do a demi-headstand, propping
her
hips up on her hands and rolling so only her shoulders are touching
the
bed/floor. Stand over her, point your gig due South, and bend your
knees
repeatedly for pile-driving fun!
Stranger: Sitting on your hand until it falls asleep and then jerking
off,
giving you the feeling of a hand job from someone else.
Stranger On The Rocks: Numbing your hand by sticking it in a bucket of
ice
and then jerking off. Spanken not stirred.
Strangers In The Night: When you and your gay buddy each numb your
hand (you
should know how by now) and spank each other off. Thus eliciting the
feeling
of a hand job from someone else, from someone else.
Stingy Nut: When a chick isn't worth ****ing; pull down her pants,
bend her
over, and jerk off all over her ass.
Sud N' Fud: When trying to bang a girl, she gives that same old
story, "I
not that kind of girl.", "I don't **** on the first date.", "I'm
catholic.",
"Stop assholio.", etc. etc... After hearing all this bull****, you
whip out
your handy bar of soap. Then lather up her armpit (or any other joint
you
prefer), and proceed to **** that instead.
Surfing: This happens when you nail a fat woman. As you watch the
rippling
effect of her rolls with every thrust, along with the feeling of being
drenched, off balance, out of control, and in danger, you are given
the
sense of riding the ultimate wave.
Swimmer's Ear: When a girl is giving you a good sucking and right
before you
erupt, you remove yourself from her mouth, place your purple head in
her
ear, and fill her ear with some sweet love seed.
Three-Eyed Turtle: Basically plug every orifice of a girl in the
following
manner: thumb in ass, fingers in *****, and dick in mouth.
Tea Bag: To perform the tea bag, have the girl lay flat on her back.
Then
you squat over her with your hands on your knees, and gently dip your
nut
sac in and out of her mouth in a motion similar to performing some
kind of
****ed up yoga exercise.
3-Eyed Turtle: Basically plug every orifice of a girl in the following
manner: thumb in ass, fingers in *****, and dick in mouth.
The Tortoise: When you eat out someone who doesn't have pubic hair
yet --
i.e. you got there before the hair (hare) did.
Tossing Salad: A common prison act where one person basically chows
assholio
with the help of whatever condiments are available. (I.e. jelly,
syrup,
olive oil, etc.)
Tropical Wind: When getting your assholio eaten out by a worthless
tramp,
you break wind.
The Trifecta: Screwing three women or men in the same night without
any of
them knowing about the others. Showering in between is strictly
forbidden.
Tuna Melt: You're down on a chick lapping away and discover that it
just
happens to be that time of the month. By no means do you stop though.
When
the whale spews tartar sauce with a hint of raspberry smothers your
face.
The Tupperware Party: You and two of your buddies triple-team your
favorite
whore, one with his penis in her mouth, another in her vagina, and the
third
in her anus. So named because she is sealed air-tight.
Tucked In: When your father or other male relative stops by your room
at
night to "tuck you in."
Twisted Sister: Have your dominatrix girlfriend dress up in some hot
black
leather gimp wear and proceed to handcuff your hands behind your back
and
then force you to your knees. Unsuspecting, diminutive, and cradled
over
with your ass is in the air, she then gives you the most erotic enema
of
your life. Now that's some great S&M fun.
Upper Deck: Next time you're at the house of someone you hate, remove
the
lid to the top portion of the toilet (where the handle is located),
take a
wicked **** in the water, and place the lid back on. Your pal will go
insane
trying to figure out where the foul stench is coming from.
Vegetarian Hot Lunch: A variation of the Hot Lunch in which the diner
stretches a piece of saran wrap over her mouth such that chewing (for
texture) is possible, but no actual contact with waste product occurs.
Wake-Up Call: Waking up in the middle of the night with the hard-on of
your
life. You then turn to your fast asleep partner and dry **** her ass
into
oblivion. The clincher to performing a wake up call is to act like
nothing
of the sort happened in the morning. "Sweetheart, what's that on your
back?"
The Walrus: After cumming inside a girl's mouth, you pinch the center
of her
two lips together and hold her nose. This will force the cum to
dribble out
of the sides of her mouth, thus the teeth of the walrus.
Wet Nap: When you let your load out on a girl's pillow, and then make
her
sleep on it.
Western Grip: When jerking off, turn your hand around, so that your
thumb is
facing towards you. It is the same grip that rodeo folks use, hence,
western.
Westside Glaze: Same as the ******** glaze, but the majority of your
jizz
lands on the left side of her face.
The Woody Woodpecker: When a girl is sucking on your balls, tap your
**** on
her forehead.
The Zombie Mask: While getting head from your favorite, unsuspecting,
trash-barrel whore, tell her you want her to look right up at you with
those
"pretty little eyes" when you blow your load. Then, just when you're
ready
to spew a good weeks worth of goo, blast that hefty load in both eyes.
This
temporary state of blindness will produce the zombie effect as she
stumbles
around the room with arms outstretched, and moaning like the walking
dead.