1. Does a clean house indicate that there is a broken computer?


2. Why is it that no matter what color bubble bath you use, the
bubbles are always white?


3. Is there ever a day that mattresses are not on sale?


4. Why do people constantly return to the refrigerator with
hopes that something new to eat will have materialized?


5. On electric toasters, why do they engrave the message "one
slice"? How many pieces of bread do they think people are really gonna
try to stuff in that slot?


6. Why do people keep running over a string a dozen times with
their vacuum cleaner, then reach down, pick it up, examine it, then put
it
down to give the vacuum one more chance?


7. Why is it that no plastic garbage bag will open from the end
you first try?


8. How do those dead bugs get into those closed light fixtures?


9. Considering all the lint you get in your dryer, if you kept
drying your clothes would they eventually just disappear?


10. When we are in the supermarket and someone rams our ankle
with a shopping, cart then apologizes for doing so, why do we say, "It's
all
right?" Well, it isn't all right so why don't we say, "That hurt, you
stupid
idiot?"


11. Why is it that whenever you attempt to catch something
that's falling off the table you always manage to knock something else
over?


12. Is it true that the only difference between a yard sale and
a trash pickup is how close to the road the stuff is placed?


13. In winter why do we try to keep the house as warm as it was
in summer when we complained about the heat?


14. How come we never hear father-in-law jokes?


15. If at first you don't succeed, shouldn't you try doing it
like your wife told you to do it?


16. The statistics on sanity are that one out of every four
Americans is suffering from sort of mental illness. Think of your three
best
friends, if they're okay, then it's you.

Only in America ... do drugstores make the sick walk all the way to the back of the store to get their prescriptions while healthy people can buy cigarettes at the front.



Only in America ... do people order double cheeseburgers, large fries, and a diet coke.



Only in America ... do banks leave both doors open and then chain the pens to the counters.



Only in America ... do we leave cars worth thousands of dollars in the driveway and put our useless junk in the garage.



Only in America ... do we buy hot dogs in packages of ten and buns in packages of eight.



Only in America ... do we use the word 'politics' to describe the process so well: 'Poli' in Latin meaning 'many' and 'tics' meaning 'bloodsucking creatures'.



Only in America .. do they have drive-up ATM machines with Braille lettering.



EVER WONDER ...



...Why the sun lightens our hair, but darkens our skin?



...Why women can't put on mascara with their mouth closed?



Why don't you ever see the headline "Psychic Wins Lottery"?



Why is "abbreviated" such a long word?



Why is it that doctors call what they do "practice"?



I NOW UNDERSTAND ALLTOO WELL!!!


Why is lemon juice made with artificial flavor, and dishwashing liquid made with real lemons?



Why is the man who invests all your money called a broker?



Why is the time of day with the slowest traffic called rush hour?



Why isn't there mouse-flavored cat food?



Why didn't Noah swat those two mosquitoes?



Why do they sterilize the needle for lethal injections?



You know that indestructible black box that is used on airplanes? Why don't they make the whole plane out of that stuff?



Why don't sheep shrink when it rains?



Why are they called apartments when they are all stuck together?



If con is the opposite of pro, is Congress the opposite of progress?



If flying is so safe, why do they call the airport the terminal?

haha good stuff

Some good ones there 1God. :D