I'll model some tight shorts for you. Straight on Ebay. Cash.

Get on to it, babes. I've got faith in yer.

Seriously though.... if you even see anything resembling Jesus on your toast - get it on Ebay. Instant two Grand. Those religious nuts will buy anything.

Seriously though.... if you even see anything resembling Jesus on your toast - get it on Ebay. Instant two Grand. Those religious nuts will buy anything.

I saw Marlon Brando on one of me crumpets the other day. How about that?

I saw Marlon Brando on one of me crumpets the other day. How about that?

Aye, that would have sold.

I'm thinking at best..... around 3 hundred.

Aye, that would have sold.

I'm thinking at best..... around 3 hundred.

Shame I ate the cunt.

Would it be possible to craft an image of Jesus on to me toast? We could go into business with this thing, Laddie.

Some tarts would fall for it I'm sure.

Some tarts would fall for it I'm sure.

Me art skills aren't up to scratch, Laddie. I've just had a wee try and it looks a little like Richard Branson. I'll be improving me skills every morning, so I will.

Me art skills arne't up to scratch, Laddie. I've just had a wee try and it looks a little like Richard Branson. I'll be improving me skills every morning, so I will.

Me trousersnake shall inspire you.

Get yourself a heat gun and loaf of Warburtons and you'll be up and running in no time, Laddies & Stingers Holy Toast Emporium - i can see it now.

Seriously though.... if you even see anything resembling Jesus on your toast - get it on Ebay. Instant two Grand. Those religious nuts will buy anything.

And to think I gave up my life for people like you.:nonono:

And to think I gave up my life for people like you.:nonono:

I've still got love for you, but cash = life these days I'm afraid. Maybe you could make yourself useful and stop appearing on toast. Make money grow from trees or something, cunt.

Drink, glorious drink, wonderful drink.

Pour me a drink.

if jesus was about these days we could black and decker his ass down to that cross. Non of this manual nailing **** too risky for the old fingers

Another ALT banned again. Preach O'Toast didn't last an hour, not one swear word or racist comment and banned?:nonono:

Guy's,

Has Boxstarr been around here lately?

I've just noticed that the Limey Lounge Membership was updated the back end of last month?

I think i saw him round about that time posting in the training section.

How do you make an alt?.

Just join up to the site with your pseudonym and give them a different e-mail address.

I have about 4 e-mail addresses and haven't made one alt. A shame really.

Do you not need to partake in some kind of James-Bond-esque tactics so that they don't ban it straight away, IP tracking or something?.

Aye, if you want to get away with mischief and not get your alt and your original account banned, best change your IP address first.

Fellas, the prodigal son returns. Annie's back and it's time to break out the pink champagne and get all homo up in this mother****er.

Fellas, the prodigal son returns. Annie's back and it's time to break out the pink champagne and get all homo up in this mother****er.

Me trousersnake read that before I did. He's a happy fella. :hitit:

Tis surely a day for one's trousersnake to rejoice.

Tis surely a day for one's trousersnake to rejoice.

I've got some rum, Laddie. A mate gave me a bottle so I didn't even have to pay for the ****er. Not bad, eh?

The luck of the Irish, eh?

The luck of the Irish, eh?

Indeed, babes. If they were that lucky I'd expect the Hoff to show up now and make me evening complete. I'll be pouring meself some rum and hoping to see his sexy love serpent slither into view.

Evening lovers, me plan to lure the Anorak back was successful. Let us rejoice, indulge in passionate bumlove and down copious amounts of stella, for this is the way of the limey bum boy.

Alan Akbar!

Evening lovers, me plan to lure the Anorak back was successful. Let us rejoice, indulge in passionate bumlove and down copious amounts of stella, for this is the way of the limey bum boy.

Alan Akbar!

Them Irish are lucky.

Come ere, me lover :luvbed:

Them Irish are lucky.

Come ere, me lover :luvbed:

Have some Hoffee southpaw, there's plenty to go around. I've stockpiled the stuff over the last couple of weeks.

Have some Hoffee southpaw, there's plenty to go around. I've stockpiled the stuff over the last couple of weeks.

I'm a Hoffee-aholic babes. It won't go to waste, so it won't.

I'm a Hoffee-aholic babes. It won't go to waste, so it won't.

Don't ever go to a Hoffee anonymous meeting me darling, those cunts are scam artists and take the michael good and proper. Nothing wrong with a hoffee addiction so there isn't.

Don't ever go to a Hoffee anonymous meeting me darling, those cunts are scam artists and take the michael good and proper. Nothing wrong with a hoffee addiction so there isn't.

Who'd want to give up the Hoffee? Not me, thats for cunting sure.

Mmmmmmmm! that was a stonkingly brilliant cup of Hoffee.

Who'd want to give up the Hoffee? Not me, thats for cunting sure.

Non-believers and sober cunts are the only tarts who would give up the Hoffee, and we don't care much for those slags.

Non-believers and sober cunts are the only tarts who would give up the Hoffee, and we don't care much for those slags.

Damn right, babes. We don't need cunts like them in our midst.

Gorillas in the midst, fair enough, if Sigorney likes those ****ing apes it's alright by me, but sober cunts, no ****ing way, I'll send those cunts packing before Versy can wave or Tuggers can wink at me bird.

Short and sweet
Then Annie made his retreat
He's got a life now
and goals to meet

He thought Bore Hard
Had Calzaghe beat
He wrote a song for Danny
Thinking on his feet

we're slurping on the Stella
Like it's Keelly's teet

Short and sweet
Then Annie made his retreat
He's got a life now
and goals to meet

He thought Bore Hard
Had Calzaghe beat
He wrote a song for Danny
Thinking on his feet

we're slurping on the Stella
Like it's Keelly's teet

lmfao decent!

what do you think about tenants laddie? i been to the william wallace pub with this gita and been on the tenants all night. its not bad like, but it doesnt even compare to the beloved stella. where woud you rate it with all of the other top lagers

lmfao decent!

what do you think about tenants laddie? i been to the william wallace pub with this gita and been on the tenants all night. its not bad like, but it doesnt even compare to the beloved stella. where woud you rate it with all of the other top lagers

Tennents tastes like cat's piss at first, but once you've killed millions of taste buds with curries, it's decent enough.

Tennents tastes like cat's piss at first, but once you've killed millions of taste buds with curries, it's decent enough.

Laddie, you managed to get hold of any of that Gold Rum yet?

Laddie, you managed to get hold of any of that Gold Rum yet?

Not yet. I've just been put on medication and can't drink at the mo.

I'll probably have a sly drink at the weekend though and I'll try searching out a bottle.

**** the LFCU, **** Zelenoff and Hartley, **** Tye Fields, **** cunts with a Holier Than Thou attitude and no sense of humour, **** morons that think they are God's gift to academia, and finally, **** all the FloydBoyz.

:luvbed:

**** the LFCU, **** Zelenoff and Hartley, **** Tye Fields, **** cunts with a Holier Than Thou attitude and no sense of humour, **** morons that think they are God's gift to academia, and finally, **** all the FloydBoyz.

:luvbed:

Very eloquently put Laddie, I couldn't have said it better myself.

**** the LFCU, **** Zelenoff and Hartley, **** Tye Fields, **** cunts with a Holier Than Thou attitude and no sense of humour, **** morons that think they are God's gift to academia, and finally, **** all the FloydBoyz.

:luvbed:

Can I have that printed on a napkin, Laddie? I like yer philosophy so I do.

Just come over tonight and I'll sign your underwear.

Just come over tonight and I'll sign your underwear.

Should I be wearing it at the time, babes?

:luvbed:

Entirely up to you. Makes no difference to me, they'll be ripped off within seconds anyway.

Entirely up to you. Makes no difference to me, they'll be ripped off within seconds anyway.

I'll surprise yer and wear several layers, Laddie. Since yer can't have a drink at the moment I'm sure yer'll put yer sober skills to use in finding a pair of scissors.

You can't beat a nice pint in this weather
Can you?

You can't beat a nice pint in this weather
Can you?

That yer can't. I spent some time in me garden with some lager and a bag of chips. Beautiful.

That yer can't. I spent some time in me garden with some lager and a bag of chips. Beautiful.

Same here fella
Only got bottles of Beck's, not a bad tipple though

Are you lot on the ****ing dole???.

Nope
I only wander the streets at night
Waiting for some poor fellow to pull over and ask me for a good time
This is when i whip out my .44 magnum, blow the ****ers brains out and take his wallet
A man's gotta make a living

Are you lot on the ****ing dole???.

I wish, life would be so much better.

The dole? **** off! i sell crack to School Children.

So just wondering in case it ever happens in future, how much would it cost to get a replacement car door window, I left the keys in the car yesterday and locked the doors, I'd just wound up the windows, but thankfully left the sunroof open just a tiny tiny bit. Had to get 2 wire coat hangers twist them together with some pliers and then try and hook it round the door handle. Thank **** for hot weather otherwise that sunroof wouldn't have been open!

So just wondering in case it ever happens in future, how much would it cost to get a replacement car door window, I left the keys in the car yesterday and locked the doors, I'd just wound up the windows, but thankfully left the sunroof open just a tiny tiny bit. Had to get 2 wire coat hangers twist them together with some pliers and then try and hook it round the door handle. Thank **** for hot weather otherwise that sunroof wouldn't have been open!

haha thats a nasty situation that like mate. well done on keeping yer cool, id probs of smashed the window and burnt me car out. not sure how much it would cost for a new window like, just make sure it doesnt happen again lol:kiss:

So just wondering in case it ever happens in future, how much would it cost to get a replacement car door window, I left the keys in the car yesterday and locked the doors, I'd just wound up the windows, but thankfully left the sunroof open just a tiny tiny bit. Had to get 2 wire coat hangers twist them together with some pliers and then try and hook it round the door handle. Thank **** for hot weather otherwise that sunroof wouldn't have been open!

It costs a lot less to get a spare set of car keys cut.

RIZO is da bomb!! :biggthump

RIZO is da bomb!! :biggthump

NO! you da bomb! :notworthy

Someone put lead weights in Witter's gloves? Had a bit of toruble holding his hands up.

Someone put lead weights in Witter's gloves? Had a bit of toruble holding his hands up.

Witter was awful, I'm glad he lost.

Witter was awful, I'm glad he lost.

Hatton enjoyed the fight, thats all that matters.

ive never actually liked witter and was hoping someone would teach him a lesson. however it is a pitty to lose another british champion. i hope he stops been such a ****y ****er and regains his title.

The glory days are over, fellas. Me luscious gifts were e-burgled during the night and me huge Karma stick has went flaccid.

It won't even rise to the occasion to give just one bum boy a hit.

can you explain whats actually happened please laddie. i was well proud of me vast selection of two gifts. you had ****ing loads. what the ****s the point? we earned them.

whats the crack with the karma aswell?

The glory days are over, fellas. Me luscious gifts were e-burgled during the night and me huge Karma stick has went flaccid.

It won't even rise to the occasion to give just one bum boy a hit.

Ditto babes. At least yer rep power is still high. Mine dropped to a mere 42, what a cunting liberty!

can you explain whats actually happened please laddie. i was well proud of me vast selection of two gifts. you had ****ing loads. what the ****s the point? we earned them.

whats the crack with the karma aswell?

It's a whole new shape-up. BigHitlerPump and his totalitarian regime want us under complete control.

I had over 2 billion in Karma points and could dish it out to any bum boy, now i'm on a mere 22K.

Top Gear goes camping

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0GZRmzuiig8&feature=related

:lol1:

right me sexy limey pals. i thought id make my 1000th post here in the limey lounge where it belongs. feeel free to hit me with the good k and a beer would go down nicely x :kiss:

Oldskool, for you:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=eBGIQ7ZuuiU

Morning fellow lesbians, I feel right rough today. I blame the Kronenberg. Yer can't trust them sodding krauts can yer...

They taste damn good though, Hoff.

evil evil drink! I tend to steer clear!

Gotta be done sometimes though! ha ha

I shall never stray from me beloved Stella again. Next time I walk into a boozer to find that they don't serve stella I'll just walk straight back out again. Cunts.

What happened to Team Limey Bum Boys? i see the group option isn't there no more.

What happened to Team Limey Bum Boys? i see the group option isn't there no more.

You can get to it thru your profile. Bit of a **** about tho.

You can also get to it through the quick links at the top of yer screen.

We're putting all those other ****ty groups to shame.

We're putting all those other ****ty groups to shame.

I know, I actually had a real sense of pride when I saw our membership numbers compared to all the other Johnny Foreigner groups.

Get in you bum boys!!!!!!!! :grouphug:

We're putting all those other ****ty groups to shame.

The fat yanks are getting desperate aint they laddie. They had to recruit Duggie to team america to boost their numbers.

And **** lifestyle flashy an all. Us limeys are the top of the shagging tree and those fannys can't even reach the first branch.

'Ave it!

Reet, I'm off for another attempt at kip. In a bit sailors.

The fat yanks are getting desperate aint they laddie. They had to recruit Duggie to team america to boost their numbers.

Don't be shocked if Americans turn up in the Lang posing as Jehova's witnesses and "accidentally" hand over pamphlets with 'Join Team Solid Americans and you will be saved" written on them.

Cunts!

Solid Americans? I've filled the pan with turds more solid than them cunts.

Don't worry laddie, we can get Naps on fat yank watch. He'll be up day and night keeping an eye on who comes and goes. Not one single obese yank will slip through.

Oh, say can you see
Our **** economy

That should be the opening line of the American national anthem.

Solid Americans? I've filled the pan with turds more solid than them cunts.

Don't worry laddie, we can get Naps on fat yank watch. He'll be up day and night keeping an eye on who comes and goes. Not one single obese yank will slip through.

Damn straight, I'll cover the graveyard shifts. Any Yanks slipping in here with their squeaky accents and general ****ness and I'll bum em 6 ways from sunday. They won't come back quickly after that.

Sure I was going to try and sleep now......

Damn straight, I'll cover the graveyard shifts. Any Yanks slipping in here with their squeaky accents and general ****ness and I'll bum em 6 ways from sunday. They won't come back quickly after that.

Sure I was going to try and sleep now......

We'll keep watch over the place for a while now though so get some kip you slag. We need you in tip top shape for when you next clock in. These fat yanks are sneaky, I caught one of em putting on a corset to disguise himself. I said to the cunt "Oi, cunt, that corset wont hide yer rolls of fat, you aint fooling no-one, now hop it".

Does team limey bum boy have an anthem? I remember yer doing a fairly sexy composition a while back, Hoff.

Does team limey bum boy have an anthem? I remember yer doing a fairly sexy composition a while back, Hoff.

I might write a wee tune so we can all have a sing song now and again Southpaw.

I might write a wee tune so we can all have a sing song now and again Southpaw.

Yer a good bum boy, babes. :kiss:

Yer a good bum boy, babes. :kiss:

We're rolling 30 deep now my j.eggin. The fat yanks look at us limey bum boys with fear etched into their soul and envy written in their DNA.

Team Limey Bum Boys are taking over. :boxing:

No-one can **** with us now.

No-one can **** with us now.

Take the Newcastle bet out of your sig. :rofl:

A year or so ago this Lounge had quality posters but limited usage, now its one of most used Lounges.

A year or so ago this Lounge had quality posters but limited usage, now its one of most used Lounges.

But all of us new cunts have just ruined it.

But all of us new cunts have just ruined it.

Lol. Some of you new cunts maybe lol.

Lol. Some of you new cunts maybe lol.

I blame the MODS they'll let anyone join.:nonono:

I blame the MODS they'll let anyone join.:nonono:

If a new member arouses the trousersnake, then they are permitted to join.

Jack Daniels drinker.

Jack Daniels drinker.

A sign of a quality fella.

A sign of a quality fella.

what about the stella? just cracked my last can of the weekend:frown:

A year or so ago this Lounge had quality posters but limited usage, now its one of most used Lounges.

yeh but we still have around 100, 3ft pinoys here.

I was viewing some of the early threads here in this lounge.

Man I miss those days. :(

:grouphug::grouphug::grouphug:

:grouphug::grouphug::grouphug:

I love you so I do. :luvbed:

Thank god am here to keep everyone happy.

Oh, how you keep me happy.
You leave me with a permenant smile on me face :banana:

Oh, how you keep me happy.
You leave me with a permenant smile on me face :banana:

And buldge in yer pants.

i went to a staff do and got drunk without having a fight...i deserve praise...


green k me mother ****ers!

And buldge in yer pants.

You noticed, I was waiting how long it would take you.

i went to a staff do and got drunk without having a fight...i deserve praise...


green k me mother ****ers!

I can't k you, i will fight you though if you want??
Naked mud wrestle?????

You noticed, I was waiting how long it would take you.



I can't k you, i will fight you though if you want??
Naked mud wrestle?????

I've already booked me ringside seat. :banana:

I've already booked me ringside seat. :banana:

You can bring the jelly babes.

Anyone else absoluutely trollied tonight or is it just me?.

I haven't touched the drink for 2 years now.

I haven't touched the drink for 2 years now.

i was out me head last night like. had a right old msture of drinks. started on the stella at bout 5ish n over the course of the night had a couple of cans of bud, a can of cider n loads of wicked mixed with reef and smirnoff ice. was ****ing smashing. ended up hitting the scene later so i hope i didnt say anything out of line. sorry if i did boys.

something else interesting occured to me also... serbs are useless cunts.

anyways im off to work have a pleasant day boys:luvbed:

I haven't touched the drink for 2 years now.

are you being serious.... no way you lying cunt

eeeh.. i don't remember writing that last post.

Had a good night though- hope i didn't make a cunt of myself with the workmates. They were pretending i sounded good on the kareoke...so i ended up singing more... truth is, i'm crap..but because im drunk, i put my name down for everything. hhaaah

I'm treatin meself to a few beers on Sunday. It's been ages since I was pissed.

eeeh.. i don't remember writing that last post.

Had a good night though- hope i didn't make a cunt of myself with the workmates. They were pretending i sounded good on the kareoke...so i ended up singing more... truth is, i'm crap..but because im drunk, i put my name down for everything. hhaaah

That's like us, we pretend your good at the PWN and say your good but really............

That's like us, we pretend your good at the PWN and say your good but really............

Have you got any more football transfer rumours?

Have you got any more football transfer rumours?

I've got to go to work now, but google bbc sport telextext 338, then in the search box type 338. Alternatively go on ceefax page 338 for all the latest football gossip. Anthing interesting then stick it in the football gossip thread and I can have a read on tuesday as i'm working flat out now all weekend.

I've got to go to work now, but google bbc sport telextext 338, then in the search box type 338. Alternatively go on ceefax page 338 for all the latest football gossip. Anthing interesting then stick it in the football gossip thread and I can have a read on tuesday as i'm working flat out now all weekend.

Just more on Hleb and Lahm to Man Utd. Have fun at work! :lol1:

I'm treatin meself to a few beers on Sunday. It's been ages since I was pissed.

I feel yer pain, tuggs.

What's everyone else up to?

Getting pissed watching Hatton you?.

I'm tryin to find a decent sopcast link for the fight.
Anyone got any clues??

Getting pissed watching Hatton you?.
On here I guess. Nothing much else to do.

Southpaw, did you catch the fights on Saturday?

I just turned flawless red for the crack.

I feel powerful now.


Laddie, I had a chicken legend the other day. My palate wants to thank you for the recommendation.

I just turned flawless red for the crack.

I feel powerful now.


Laddie, I had a chicken legend the other day. My palate wants to thank you for the recommendation.

I've still gotta try one of them cunts. I'm in two minds because last time i had a mcdonalds it felt like someone had **** in me mouth.

I just turned flawless red for the crack.

I feel powerful now.


Laddie, I had a chicken legend the other day. My palate wants to thank you for the recommendation.

With Mayo i presume?

I had one the other day and it was perfectly fine except that the bacon was slightly rubbery. I wanna find the greasy, acne-riddled little dunce that ****ed it up and slap him for almost ruining it for me taste buds.

With Mayo i presume?

I had one the other day and it was perfectly fine except that the bacon was slightly rubbery. I wanna find the greasy, acne-riddled little dunce that ****ed it up and slap him for almost ruining it for me taste buds.

With salsa me dear. Is mayo the way to go?

Eating at mcdonalds is a bit of a cunting lottery aint it fellas, but it's worth the gamble.

Both are divine but mayo does it for me.

Southpaw, did you catch the fights on Saturday?

That I did, babes. Did blue moon do it for yer?

Laddie, i see they put you in the Calzaghe nuthuggers list.
You must be fuming, what an outrage!!
:banana:

I'm proud to be a Calzaghe Nuthugger. The view of his taint as i hang from his scrotum is nothing short of breathtaking.

Southpaw, Blue Moon did indeed do it for me. The retarded threads accusing the ref and Hatton of being part of a huge British boxing conspiracy did not.

They amused me, but that was about it.

Laddie, i see they put you in the Calzaghe nuthuggers list.
You must be fuming, what an outrage!!
:banana:


News to me?

Maybe you're thinking of the Calzaghe appreciation group?

Nah some cunt put your name forward for the nuthuggers list, I don't know that you're actually on the list yet.
AQnyway Joe's scrotum sounds divine, might join ya son. :kiss:

Maybe you're thinking of the Calzaghe appreciation group?

I made that list, and you're not on it.

Joe Calzaghe is one of my favorite fighters but some of his fans on here give me the ****s hence the list!

Prime Roy Jones!!!

Am sick of choking on me corn flakes reading some of thier posts.

I made that list, and you're not on it.

Joe Calzaghe is one of my favorite fighters but some of his fans on here give me the ****s hence the list!

Prime Roy Jones!!!

Am sick of choking on me corn flakes reading some of thier posts.

We should invent a time machine to get all these Prime fighters to have it out.

Like I've said before SRR against Khan would be a classic.

We should invent a time machine to get all these Prime fighters to have it out.

Like I've said before SRR against Khan would be a classic.

I have a De Lorean which would do the job, unfortuantly i had to leave at Kwik Fit to get the brakes done.

I have a De Lorean which would do the job, unfortuantly i had to leave at Kwik Fit to get the brakes done.

Just need something that can generate 21.2 gigawatts though.... ****

Can someone lend me £4,000 to get one of these?

http://www.hammeruncut.com/pics/realdoll2.jpg

Please?

Just need something that can generate 21.2 gigawatts though.... ****

It's 1.21 gigawatts actually.

It's 1.21 gigawatts actually.

That's it. **** me, i would've blown the cunting flux capasiter.

I'm proud to be a Calzaghe Nuthugger. The view of his taint as i hang from his scrotum is nothing short of breathtaking.

Southpaw, Blue Moon did indeed do it for me. The retarded threads accusing the ref and Hatton of being part of a huge British boxing conspiracy did not.

They amused me, but that was about it.

I think it was one of the first fights I've watched without a drink in me. I never realised this before but Hatton's not much of a looker is he? Maybe me beer goggles have had me in the wrong all these years.

To quote his dad, 'he's got a face only a mother can love'

To quote his dad, 'he's got a face only a mother can love'

I'd like to hear his mothers' oppinion on that.

Am watching american pie beta house in a bit lads, any good?

Am watching american pie beta house in a bit lads, any good?

Its alright mate, plenty of tits in it and there was one bit they made me howl (Think Crying Game), these films will obviously never win an Oscar but it kills 90 mins.

Am watching american pie beta house in a bit lads, any good?

its not as good as the first 3 films ... still worth a watch if you have nothing better to do

You're damn right i beat your high score.

its not as good as the first 3 films ... still worth a watch if you have nothing better to do

I watched the first 5 mins then had to go out. Shooter McGavin from Happy Gilmore was talking about bangin birds. I was laughing me head off, but dunno what the rest of the film is like. I might download it tonight....

Happy Gilmore is such a good film :D:D

Happy Gilmore is such a good film :D:D

Much respect to Carl Weathers.

Someone fill all us newbiew in on the 2Tough jokes?.

He's Pakistani i think. That's about the jist of it. We love our racist gags round here so we do.

He's Pakistani i think. That's about the jist of it. We love our racist gags round here so we do.

Don't let him hear you say that. He's an Indian fella who hates Pakistani's.

Much like Europe hates England and England hates everyone.

Don't let him hear you say that. He's an Indian fella who hates Pakistani's.

Much like Europe hates England and England hates everyone.

You drinking tonight, Lover? the medication I've been subscribed mixed with me lager has been knocking me for six lately.

You drinking tonight, Lover? the medication I've been subscribed mixed with me lager has been knocking me for six lately.

Me too, babes. Drinking and pills don't mix as well as Stella and curry.

Me too, babes. Drinking and pills don't mix as well as Stella and curry.

That they do not.

That they do not.

Have the pink elephants been visiting you during the night?

Have the pink elephants been visiting you during the night?

Not only have they been visiting me, they've been pwning me at poker and taking all me cash.

*Throws dummy out of pram and wails* WHERE'S MY SOUTHPAW?

*Throws dummy out of pram and wails* WHERE'S MY SOUTHPAW?

I'm here, babes. Curry and Stella have kept me occupied most of the evening, but now I'm all yours :luvbed:

I'm here, babes. Curry and Stella have kept me occupied most of the evening, but now I'm all yours :luvbed:

Still drinking i hope?

Still drinking i hope?

Laddie, do yer really have to ask?

Forgive me, Southpaw.

Damn these pills.

Forgive me, Southpaw.

Damn these pills.

**** happens, babes.

Do yer think a spoon full of me David Seaman, will help the medicine go down?

**** happens, babes.

Do yer think a spoon full of me David Seaman, will help the medicine go down?

That it would. Double portions mind. :luvbed:

That it would. Double portions mind. :luvbed:

I'm working on it, Laddie. Have a Stella whilst you wait.

Thinking of Dawkins shall speed me trousersnake up.

Can't wait.

Can't wait.

I'm gonna try and get to half a pint, just for you, me lover :beerchug:

HAHA England 1-0 already, anyone know who scored i missed it.

lollercoaster 2-0 after 15 minutes

Jambo that was fast, i am impressed to say the least.

Jambo that was fast, i am impressed to say the least.

These cunts are **** if Defoe can score against them wearing an England shirt.

Should be winning this at least 5-0.

Should be winning this at least 5-0.

We actually don't look that impressive. Like you say we should be kickin these j.eggins arses.

Was it just me, or has anyone else noticed a few fit birds in the crowd sporting England shirts and flags, they appear to be of Trinidad/Tobago appearance, plus i seen one of them, singing our anthem.

Hit me with your karma stick
Hit me hard hit me quick.

I must say fellas, i was mightily impressed with Hatton's Bird's tits last weekend.

So 2tough aka DaveBrown is a moaning pakistani, ahh i get it now.

Here you go lads:

http://img396.imageshack.us/img396/3374/45346image1122460lolz3.jpg (http://imageshack.us)

This ought to get you pumped for Euro 2008.

Spain win it for me. She looks a bit like tweedy.

Although it's close between a few others.

Germany, Sweden or the one next to Sweden ... Turkey is it?

Gayest avatar ever?

http://www.boxingscene.com/forums/member.php?u=34271

Nadal has impressed me, so he has.

I'm drinking right now, Southpaw. All in honour of yer trousersnake.

I'm drinking right now, Southpaw. All in honour of yer trousersnake.

What are yer drinking, babes? The Stella? The Jack?

The Grolsch. The cuntin shops don't seem to have any Stella these days.

The Grolsch. The cuntin shops don't seem to have any Stella these days.

Drink is drink I say, get it down yer :luvbed:

Drink is drink I say, get it down yer :luvbed:

Yes Sir! *Gulps down a bottle and thinks of a menage a trois with Hoffy and Stinger.

Yes Sir! *Gulps down a bottle and thinks of a menage a trois with Hoffy and Stinger.

If only the sexy Hoff were here now, laddie. I'd be on him like Michael Jackson on a twister mat.

I'd hit it more times than Matty on a preggo site.

I'd hit it more times than Matty on a preggo site.

Have you ever had a preggo, Laddie? It's on my things to do list, so it is.

Have you ever had a preggo, Laddie? It's on my things to do list, so it is.

That i haven't.

That i haven't.

I've just bought meself a bottle of bells whisky. I think I've earn't it Laddie. Me first glass is in your honour.

Make it a big 'un for me big trousersnake.

Make it a big 'un for me big trousersnake.

I needed this whisky, babes. Cunts next door have a bloody decent barbecue and I've been stuck with beans on toast. What a cunting liberty.

Hey now, watch the language.

**** them, darling.

Pull my finger?

Pull my finger?

****in hell, looks like someone just pulled David Haye's finger in your sig.

Pull my trousersnake.

Pull my trousersnake.

I've been doing that to mine all day, me balls are dry!

Just dropped in to say hello:fing02:

Just dropped in to say hello:fing02:

Hello back Queenie.

Fellas, I'm a wee bit drunk. If I wasn't at work tomorrow I'd carry on drinking.

****ing jobs eh, they always get in the way of a good piss up. What a cuntish world we live in. I feel like I'm letting Frank down.

Fellas, I'm a wee bit drunk. If I wasn't at work tomorrow I'd carry on drinking.

****ing jobs eh, they always get in the way of a good piss up. What a cuntish world we live in. I feel like I'm letting Frank down.

I just been on the Kronen myself and I feel a bit 'merry'.

We were just talking about your great wang and it appears!!
:kiss:

I just been on the Kronen myself and I feel a bit 'merry'.

We were just talking about your great wang and it appears!!
:kiss:

It was me wang that drew me here. It felt a stirring and I just had to follow it, as you do.

It was me wang that drew me here. It felt a stirring and I just had to follow it, as you do.

Does it need satisfying??

Maybe i could be of assistance

Does it need satisfying??

Maybe i could be of assistance

To be honest, I'm more in need of some decent grub. I just got home and there was **** all in, so I ordered a farmhouse pizza, and I tell you what, it was right disappointing.

I'm off to bed now. Goodnight slag :luvbed:

To be honest, I'm more in need of some decent grub. I just got home and there was **** all in, so I ordered a farmhouse pizza, and I tell you what, it was right disappointing.

I'm off to bed now. Goodnight slag :luvbed:

Love you.
:luvbed:

I was heavily drunk on Alan's nector last night so I was. I slipped and did the splits and I feel like I've ruptured me balls. Am I gonna keep off the drink tonight? Am I ****!

Good man, Southpaw. You know it makes sense.

I had to go to the blooming hospital this morning at 7 in the cuntin' morning for a CT scan. Doctor's orders, because of a fight months ago.

I tried telling him at the time. I said look, Doc, me noggin's fine. It's the other cunt you wanna be worrying about. Me head's probably TKO'd him for 3 years.

Good man, Southpaw. You know it makes sense.

I had to go to the blooming hospital this morning at 7 in the cuntin' morning for a CT scan. Doctor's orders, because of a fight months ago.

I tried telling him at the time. I said look, Doc, me noggin's fine. It's the other cunt you wanna be worrying about. Me head's probably TKO'd him for 3 years.

You should have said, If yer think I look bad you should see the other guys' knuckles. Gets em everytime.
Me left nut feels like theres a piece cunting glass inside, might book meself in at the docs after I've emptied me fridge. If I fell on a knife I'd finish me drink before calling an ambulance, it's just the way I am me lover.

You should have said, If yer think I look bad you should see the other guys' knuckles. Gets em everytime.
Me left nut feels like theres a piece cunting glass inside, might book meself in at the docs after I've emptied me fridge. If I fell on a knife I'd finish me drink before calling an ambulance, it's just the way I am me lover.

That's why you are revered, darling. :luvbed:

That's why you are revered, darling. :luvbed:

I owe it all to Alan and Stella, babes. :luvbed:

Aye, Alan knew what he was doing when he created you and Stella.

Check out the sexy bum boy in me avi.

Check out the sexy bum boy in me avi.

Me trousersnake just snapped me briefs. Me two veg are hurting again but once again I care not for the pain as Dawkins is worth it, so he is :hitit:

Me trousersnake just snapped me briefs. Me two veg are hurting again but once again I care not for the pain as Dawkins is worth it, so he is :hitit:

I'd hit it too.

Prof. Richard Dawkins for Prime Minister of limey land.

Have you read the god delusion southpaw?

I'd hit it too.

Prof. Richard Dawkins for Prime Minister of limey land.

Have you read the god delusion southpaw?

I have indeed.

God Delusion > Bible

I lent me copy to my catholic cousin and I haven't got it back yet :nonono:

There has been a question that has puzzled man since time began: Whose **** is the tastiest ever? well bum boys, after sampling the finest beef bayonets the world has to offer, I've compiled a list:

1. Dawkins
2. Danny Williams
3. Hoff, Jamboboy and Southpaw ( All tied for 3rd, their beef bayonets were succulent let me tell ya. )
4. Anorak ( In his prime Anorak could have ruled the division but age, sadly, has caught up with the fella. Although still full of juices, his beef bayonet is not as ripe as it used to be. )
5. KayJay ( I had a hard time wrestling Kayjay's beef bayonet out of the hands of his on/off boyfriend Kevin, but rest assured, once i did i devoured every morsel - not too big, not too small, but full of richness. )

It's not really a fair contest as Danny Williams' trousersnake is the biggest in the heavyweight division. Even Tyson found it too much to handle and subsequently fell on his ugly arse.
Dawkins wang is just epic, enough meat to challenge God himself.
I think it's a fair p4p **** list laddie, Danny and Dawkins are both probably the juiciest sausages on the market right now, a sword fight between those two beasts would be something quite spectacular to behold.
Maybe we should make an ATG p4p **** list too.

It's not really a fair contest as Danny Williams' trousersnake is the biggest in the heavyweight division. Even Tyson found it too much to handle and subsequently fell on his ugly arse.
Dawkins wang is just epic, enough meat to challenge God himself.
I think it's a fair p4p **** list laddie, Danny and Dawkins are both probably the juiciest sausages on the market right now, a sword fight between those two beasts would be something quite spectacular to behold.
Maybe we should make an ATG p4p **** list too.

To do that we'd have to do a 'ell of a lot of sampling. Me jaw aches just compiling a list of 5.

To do that we'd have to do a 'ell of a lot of sampling. Me jaw aches just compiling a list of 5.

Might have to help you out then darling.

:blowjob:

Also I would like to add that Laddie's red hot poker was just divine. I would recomend it to anyone.

Your foot long would push anybody's jaw to it's limits.

Your foot long would push anybody's jaw to it's limits.

True, I must say I felt a bit sorry for you, it was a bit brutal the way southpaw, hoffie and I were triple teaming your gob. Though it was a beautiful thing to behold. You done well laddie, all in the name of research too.

"Anything in the name of research. Anything in the name of Science." That's my motto.

"Anything in the name of research. Anything in the name of Science." That's my motto.

Dawkins would be proud of your scientific experiment. I've heard he's writing another book titled 'Laddie, he certainly wasn't selfish with my gene!'

It makes the God Delusion look like Jordan's biography. That's how good it is. I've seen the first drafts.

It makes the God Delusion look like Jordan's biography. That's how good it is. I've seen the first drafts.

As long as there's pictures to show you putting theory into practise and the pages are lamenated then it'll sell more than the bible ever has.

Aye, pictures of Laddie > Moral Guideline/ literal rule.

I'd say. If there's pictures of laddie going to work on Dawkins' length then picture's of laddie>any words at all.
The only down point to the evening now is that I've only got one can of Kronennbourg left.:nonono:

I'd say. If there's pictures of laddie going to work on Dawkins' length then picture's of laddie>any words at all.
The only down point to the evening now is that I've only got one can of Kronennbourg left.:nonono:

Poor bastard!

I thought:banana: ahead and got a couple of crates in for today's games.

Poor bastard!

I thought:banana: ahead and got a couple of crates in for today's games.

Spare a thought for me while you drink em.:grouphug:
I have got a bottle of Bells that needs opening though. :kiss:

Spare a thought for me while you drink em.:grouphug:
I have got a bottle of Bells that needs opening though. :kiss:

Stop being a soft arse and get it down yer. :luvbed:

Stop being a soft arse and get it down yer. :luvbed:

Only if you get it up me soft arse.:luvbed:

I'm clutching at straws tonight fella's.

I've got literally nothing in except me dad's Murphy's bitter, or me mum's Tia Maria, what shall i do?.

I'm clutching at straws tonight fella's.

I've got literally nothing in except me dad's Murphy's bitter, or me mum's Tia Maria, what shall i do?.

Mix 'em, make a murphy's maria.

Gotta be done.

Stella for me tonight.

Got some cider in tonight me. Don't worry though boys its non of these chav style White Lightning 1 pound for 12 litres ****. Its Jacques, fruits of the forest (no homo).

I don't usually dabble with cider but whenever i do it's the bum's special; Frosty Jacks.

I don't particular like cider. But this is more of a fruity, strawberries , cherries and raspberries cider, it makes a nice change in the summer and they go down like cordial.

I'm on the paint stripper tonight, lads.