Me little cousin and his cronies used to order pizza and lie in wait and when the delivery geezer showed up at the given address, they would pounce on him from their hiding spots, beat him up and steal his pizzas and his moped.

Little scamps, eh.


I used to do that but I left the pizzas with the cunt. I ain't putting that cheese soaked stuff in me mouth. Give me a curry and a Stella any day of the week.

Fellas - me new licking ratings, do you think they're all correct? I thought maybe some fellas deserved a higher licking status, but alas, in the end their skills with the tongue just didn't warrant it yet.

What says you?

Aye, they might have had more burberry caps than brain cells that little rag-tag bunch of glue-sniffers, but they sure could pull off a pizza heist.

Fellas - me new licking ratings, do you think they're all correct? I thought maybe some fellas deserved a higher licking status, but alas, in the end their skills with the tongue just didn't warrant it yet.

What says you?

Msingabrain's rating was spot on, but then again he's easy to rate, isn't he.

Msingabrain's rating was spot on, but then again he's easy to rate, isn't he.

Aye, you pick the lowest rating and slap it on him. It's not a hard job so it isn't.

Antipater of Sidon recorded for us the seven wonders of the ancient world via poem. I feel that you have put him to shame with you're list Hoff. Good on yer son.

Antipater of Sidon recorded for us the seven wonders of the ancient world via poem. I feel that you have put him to shame with you're list Hoff. Good on yer son.

Yer too kind so you are darlin'.

What would yer say the seven wonders of the modern world are?

Stella being number one, obviously.

Yer too kind so you are darlin'.

What would yer say the seven wonders of the modern world are?

Stella being number one, obviously.


I couldn't name em' all darling. Your trousersnake is definatly up there.

Mr Green also makes me list, mainly because I read his posts and wonder how the fella survives.

We need to build a 50 meter high statue of Frank Gallagher.

Statue of Frank > The Colossus of Rhodes.

I couldn't name em' all darling. Your trousersnake is definatly up there.

Mr Green also makes me list, mainly because I read his posts and wonder how the fella survives.

So we got Stella and Mr Green so far. Fair enough, I'll have a little go at naming some of the others:

Scarlett Johansson?

The chip shop/curry house?

Villa Park?

What d'you think?

We need to build a 50 meter high statue of Frank Gallagher.

Statue of Frank > The Colossus of Rhodes.

Lets ****ing knock down that statue of that Nelson cunt to build it then. What did he ever do for us eh? Row a cunting boat or something like that. Frank does more in a night down the boozer than Nelson ever did.

Frank > Nelson cunt.

So we got Stella and Mr Green so far. Fair enough, I'll have a little go at naming some of the others:

Scarlett Johansson?

The chip shop/curry house?

Villa Park?

What d'you think?

Wise move with Scarlett, babes. We can leave Mr Green until the statue of Frank is built. Franks' glory will even outshine Green's bamboozalment.

The mosque shaped like a pint would surely be the ultimate wonder of the modern world.

Wise move with Scarlett, babes. We can leave Mr Green until the statue of Frank is built. Franks' glory will even outshine Green's bamboozalment.
**** it, lets leave Nelson alone and knock down the ****ing wall of China and build Frank's statue with the bricks from the wall.

Frank should be seen from space, don't you think? To encourage sexy aliens to join us and to discourage pious boring aliens from ever visiting.
The mosque shaped like a pint would surely be the ultimate wonder of the modern world.

To the Glory of Alan!

We could build a right nice world to live in so we could.

How about a temple to the demi god scarlett with the left overs' of the chinese wall? I wouldn't mind a little eye opener on me way to visit frank.

Lets build a little Jeremy Kyle statue right next to Frank's. One for worshiping and the other for pissing on.

Lets build a little Jeremy Kyle statue right next to Frank's. One for worshiping and the other for pissing on.

Now that I cunting agree to.

How about a temple to the demi god scarlett with the left overs' of the chinese wall? I wouldn't mind a little eye opener on me way to visit frank.

Lets build a little Jeremy Kyle statue right next to Frank's. One for worshiping and the other for pissing on.

Both cracking ideas there.

So we'll have three statues. One to ogle, one to piss on and one to worship.


How about we build this wonder of the world - the fountain of stella? A massive **** off fountain that spews forth the beautiful beverage.

Both cracking ideas there.

So we'll have three statues. One to ogle, one to piss on and one to worship.


How about we build this wonder of the world - the fountain of stella? A massive **** off fountain that spews forth the beautiful beverage.

I reckon we should just divert the water from niagra falls and replace it with stella. What a bleedin' sight that would be. great place to take the kids on holiday.

I reckon we should just divert the water from niagra falls and replace it with stella. What a bleedin' sight that would be. great place to take the kids on holiday.

Stella falls?!? I love it. It'd improve Canada no ****ing end. Those moose ****ers would owe us a huge bastard debt of gratitude for that.

Stella falls?!? I love it. It'd improve Canada no ****ing end. Those moose ****ers would owe us a huge bastard debt of gratitude for that.


Do you think if we did that Welter would go back? I might plan a little move if it mean't been closer to Stella falls.

If the CN tower was a giant spliff, Welter would swim the Atlantic.

Do you think if we did that Welter would go back? I might plan a little move if it mean't been closer to Stella falls.

Welter's going back soon anyway, but if he heard about stella falls he'd be booking flights for tomorrow...and aye, I might consider relocating meself.

Do those canuck slags make a good curry? That's what i wanna know.

If the CN tower was a giant spliff, Welter would swim the Atlantic.

...dragging Maddie behind him. He'd be overtaking speed boats so he would.

With Gary Glitter hot on his heels. Then Welter would get the ominous news; 2nd to nonce is halfway to Toronto which would make Welter have to make the tough decision of dropping his cargo.

Welter plows on and sheds a tear as he looks over his shoulder and sees his beloved Maddie vanish beneath the waves, but he knows it's for the greater good.

With Gary Glitter hot on his heels. Then Welter would get the ominous news; 2nd to nonce is halfway to Toronto which would make Welter have to make the tough decision of dropping his cargo.

Welter plows on and sheds a tear as he looks over his shoulder and sees his beloved Maddie vanish beneath the waves, but he knows it's for the greater good.

It's a sacrifice that just had to be made though.

A sad story, but one with a happy ending when Welter finally gets to the spliff tower. It's a story that has got a film like quality to it. Hollywood would jump all over it so they would.

Spliff tower > Cloverfield monster.

Hollywood, take note.

Spliff tower > Cloverfield monster.

Hollywood, take note.

Who would star as Welter though?

Ben Kingsley?

John Malkovich?

Both bald cunts who could easily play a peedo and make it believable.

Lets write a script then get addy to take it round all the studios for us.

Good cuntin' idea. I'm running low on beer funds at the mo and a hollywood blockbuster would be a good source of income.

Good cuntin' idea. I'm running low on beer funds at the mo and a hollywood blockbuster would be a good source of income.

Alan forbid that you run out of beer funds me darling. I'll tell addy to sort something out for us. We'll be making appearances at sundance and cannes before yer know it.

I'll sell one of me kidneys to fund this project. This story just has to be told.

I'll sell one of me kidneys to fund this project. This story just has to be told.

Keep yer kidney Southpaw. Versatile has said this his millionaire girlfriend will pay for the film to be made.

Keep yer kidney Southpaw. Versatile has said this his millionaire girlfriend will pay for the film to be made.

I'd sooner entrust me life savings to northern rock than accept a pledge from Versy.

I'd sooner entrust me life savings to northern rock than accept a pledge from Versy.

Fair point darlin'. I'll whack me kidney on ebay an all then. Who needs a ****in kidney anyway...

Fair point darlin'. I'll whack me kidney on ebay an all then. Who needs a ****in kidney anyway...

I'd give em' me liver, but I don't think it'll be worth much in it's present state.

I'd give em' me liver, but I don't think it'll be worth much in it's present state.

Tell em it's brand spanking new and lets get a fortune for it. These cunts on ebay will fall for anything.

Tell em it's brand spanking new and lets get a fortune for it. These cunts on ebay will fall for anything.


Will do babes. I'm debating what the starting bid should be for me right kidney. It's a bleedin good one so it is.

Will do babes. I'm debating what the starting bid should be for me right kidney. It's a bleedin good one so it is.

Five million quid. If these kidneyless slags wanna buy a quality alcohol soaked kidney then they'll have to ****in pay a premium price for it.

Five million quid. If these kidneyless slags wanna buy a quality alcohol soaked kidney then they'll have to ****in pay a premium price for it.

All the takers are welsh so far, babes. Even if they cough up the dough I might refuse to sell it to the cunts. I don't want me kidney working inside some sheep shagging nonce.

All the takers are welsh so far, babes. Even if they cough up the dough I might refuse to sell it to the cunts. I don't want me kidney working inside some sheep shagging nonce.

I hear you Southpaw. I mean you could give it to a welsh cunt, and then maybe a few years later that same welsh cunt could be serving behind a bar and take three ****ing hours to serve yer, as all the sodding welsh cunts do to us english folk...and who wants to be denied when yer gasping for a pint of stella - not me, that's for bastard sure.

Leave the Welsh slags kidneyless, that's what I say.

I hear you Southpaw. I mean you could give it to a welsh cunt, and then maybe a few years later that same welsh cunt could be serving behind a bar and take three ****ing hours to serve yer, as all the sodding welsh cunts do to us english folk...and who wants to be denied when yer gasping for a pint of stella - not me, that's for bastard sure.

Leave the Welsh slags kidneyless, that's what I say.

Fear not, I will make sure me kidney goes to a worthy cunt.

Fear not, I will make sure me kidney goes to a worthy cunt.

Good man Southpaw :luvbed:

I'm off to get some shut eye now.

Shag yer later :luvbed:

Good man Southpaw :luvbed:

I'm off to get some shut eye now.

Shag yer later :luvbed:


Sleep well, babes.

Dream of Stella falls :luvbed:

Top a tha' mornin' to ya fellas.

slainte, Hoff, slainte.

Here's to Stella.

Is it time to bring back the much beloved and much missed Get To Know A Limey?

They're bringing back The Gladiators, so i don't see why not. We have a number of fresh faced gladiators around this here our beloved lounge, many are making their presence known by spraying their scent everywhere and marking their territory.

Slowly but surely their characters and traits become ever more clearer and once me and the Hoff have Psycho-analysed them to the best of our abilities, it's on with the thinking caps and Voila!

Get to Know a Limey: mark 2. Better than ever.

Is it time to bring back the much beloved and much missed Get To Know A Limey?

They're bringing back The Gladiators, so i don't see why not. We have a number of fresh faced gladiators around this here our beloved lounge, many are making their presence known by spraying their scent everywhere and marking their territory.

Slowly but surely their characters and traits become ever more clearer and once me and the Hoff have Psycho-analysed them to the best of our abilities, it's on with the thinking caps and Voila!

Get to Know a Limey: mark 2. Better than ever.
I was just thinking that laddie. We need to get to know some of these new cunts who have popped up.

Who shall we do first?

I was just thinking that laddie. We need to get to know some of these new cunts who have popped up.

Who shall we do first?

Did you ever take to the hot seat, babes?

I was just thinking that laddie. We need to get to know some of these new cunts who have popped up.

Who shall we do first?

I've lost track of who's who. There's that many of the cunts running around at the mo.

There's the obvious choices: Duran is god, Hurrican72 ( Did we do him before? ) Col Blake ( We'd have a right laugh coming up with questions for this tart )

Plenty of clay to mould with.

Did you ever take to the hot seat, babes?

No, I haven't plonked me arse down in the hot seat yet, but I'm sure me time will come.

I've lost track of who's who. There's that many of the cunts running around at the mo.

There's the obvious choices: Duran is god, Hurrican72 ( Did we do him before? ) Col Blake ( We'd have a right laugh coming up with questions for this tart )

Plenty of clay to mould with.

We haven't done Hurricane yet laddie.

I'd say it's a choice between Duran and Blake. I'm rather fond of the Duran cunt, mainly because he's a fellow fan of me beloved Villa, but like yer say, that col cunt would make for a lively edition of get to know.

I'll leave it up to you to decide so I will.

I'll decide in the land of nod.

Nighty night, Darlings.

I'll decide in the land of nod.

Nighty night, Darlings.

Goodnight my sweet.

Shag yer later :luvbed:

http://www.comedymail.co.uk/content/drug-dealer-at-school.jpg

Hoff, what the **** is Rebus playing at giving up the booze because of that cunt Jack Morton?

Please tell me he falls off the wagon in the next novel.

Friday is upon us.

Rejoice.

Friday is upon us.

Rejoice.


I'm goin out with a bird who works in me local bank tonight, Laddie. Wish me luck.

I'm goin out with a bird who works in me local bank tonight, Laddie. Wish me luck.

Give 'er one for me, son.

Give 'er one for me, son.

I'll be thinking of you, babes :luvbed:

Make sure you don't blurt out my name at the height of ecstacy.

Make sure you don't blurt out my name at the height of ecstacy.

That won't happen again, Laddie. i know the consequences.

A big-fat-greasy-cholesterol-giving-heart attack-inducing fish supper, washed down with a few Stellas - does it get any better, fellas?

Hoff, what the **** is Rebus playing at giving up the booze because of that cunt Jack Morton?

Please tell me he falls off the wagon in the next novel.

Hoff, what the **** is Rebus playing at giving up the booze because of that cunt Jack Morton?

Please tell me he falls off the wagon in the next novel.

Rebus and the wagon just weren't meant to be together laddie. It was a relationship that was always doomed to fail.

Thank **** for that.

Thank **** for that.

It would be like Welter giving up weed - just not going to shagging happen.

Bleedin prick teases. Is it so wrong to get the slags drunk to ensure a catch?

It would be like Welter giving up weed - just not going to shagging happen.

Our beloved Southpaw is out on a date tonight, darling.

I wonder if he took the Rebus route, y'know - pubs all day, back to the flat, some Stones and a shag.

Damn, he's back.

No luck, babes?

Damn, he's back.

No luck, babes?

Bleedin awkward, darling. Never buy a stuck up female banker a pint of Stella.

"I wanted a dry white wine" **** off

She didn't like Stella?

She's not the bird for you Southpaw. How dare the tart look down her banking nose at a pint of Stella? What kind of slag in their right mind would do such a thing?

She didn't like Stella?

She's not the bird for you Southpaw. How dare the tart look down her banking nose at a pint of Stella? What kind of slag in their right mind would do such a thing?


The pint didn't go to waste, babes. I made cunting sure of that.

I'll try me luck again though. I'll convert the slag to Stella if it's the last thing I do, so I will.

The pint didn't go to waste, babes. I made cunting sure of that.

I'll try me luck again though. I'll convert the slag to Stella if it's the last thing I do, so I will.

Make her a believer. Our flock always needs new followers. We need to get stella falls built and the more support we get the better.

Alan akbar!

4-1 to the mighty Villa.

stella costs a pretty penny over here for such an average beer. Its still 10x better then fosters mind u.

stella costs a pretty penny over here for such an average beer. Its still 10x better then fosters mind u.

you really are an aussie. :nonono:

Nakamura pwning the **** out of Ronaldinho:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=eg844GYBCCI

Beautiful:

http://media.putfile.com/scottys-second-goal

I wonder if this is muscle or flab.. I'm thinking about cutting down on the stella and drinking more of satans' piss. Or water as it is commonly known.

Never cut down on Stella, darling. Alan forbids it.

Never cut down on Stella, darling. Alan forbids it.


Do yer still find me attractive with a beer gut?

That i do.

That i do.


Then I'm off to the fridge to get another can of stella.

Then I'm off to the fridge to get another can of stella.

Me too :beerchug:

Is non-alcoholic beer about as useful as a ****-flavoured lollipop?

Is non-alcoholic beer about as useful as a ****-flavoured lollipop?

As useful as a condom dispensor in the Vaticon.

cans of beer? are u ****ting me lol... thats a disgrace to the beverage.. next thing you know u will be telling me you drink it warm.

that aside... there is a ****load of alcoholics in my area. I work at the local bottlo and im like a celebrity around town because every1 is a regular.

Southpaw, fancy a cold can straight from the fridge?

Southpaw, fancy a cold can straight from the fridge?


Damn cunting right. Once I've poured all me fosters away, I'll join yer for a cold Stella.

Predictions for tonight, fellas?

Haven't got any predicitons in for tonight, Laddie. Only Stella.

You're a wise man, Southpaw.

I'm stocked up as well, darling. And i made sure i got an extra long kip this morning, so i don't fall asleep during tonight's fights.

You're a wise man, Southpaw.

I'm stocked up as well, darling. And i made sure i got an extra long kip this morning, so i don't fall asleep during tonight's fights.

I won't be watchin' em babes. A burst water pipe had me up and about all night so I'll be getting an early kip today, so I will.

I won't be watchin' em babes. A burst water pipe had me up and about all night so I'll be getting an early kip today, so I will.

I feel for ya.

Take comfort in Stella.

I feel for ya.

Take comfort in Stella.

If only me pipes were filled with Stella, I'd have delighted in being amongst the showers. But alas, it was all cunting water. :nonono:

If only me pipes were filled with Stella, I'd have delighted in being amongst the showers. But alas, it was all cunting water. :nonono:

****in' water, eh.

What's happened to our beloved Lang, babes? I've seen more life in a tramp's vest.

****in' water, eh.

What's happened to our beloved Lang, babes? I've seen more life in a tramp's vest.

I put it down to the single beds, me lover. It needs sorting, pronto!

I reckon Pavlik will KO taylor again tonight.

Evening lovers :luvbed:

I reckon Pavlik will KO taylor again tonight.

Evening lovers :luvbed:

Earlier than before?

Earlier than before?

I dunno. I think that depends on Taylors mentality going into the fight, but either way it's ending up with him being counted out.

I hope so babes. Taylor has the tools and skills to box to a UD if he keeps his distance. Pavlik need only land some of his hard shots though..

I'm thinking he'll get the KO earlier. Possibly around the 5th.

I dunno whether to stay up for it or not. I've gotta be at work at 7.30 in the morning tomorrow and I've only got 4 cans left, so I'm towards heading the kip house instead of watching it.

Aye, i'm not sporting an erection at the thought of the fight meself, but i'll still have a gander.

Lyakhovich has just been saved by the bell against the Dosia's cousin.

you watching it on sopcast, laddie?

you watching it on sopcast, laddie?

Indeed i am.

It's almost as good as Skelton Vs Sprott.

Indeed i am.

It's almost as good as Skelton Vs Sprott.


bleedin eck'. Thrilla in Manila 2

bleedin eck'. Thrilla in Manila 2

Better.

On me 6th can of the night.

Better.

On me 6th can of the night.

only 6th laddie? I'm shocked so I am. I thought you'd have drunk the highlands dry by this point.

only 6th laddie? I'm shocked so I am. I thought you'd have drunk the highlands dry by this point.

I didn't wanna start too early, incase i missed tonight's fights. I'm also on medication and i ain't even supposed to drink, but **** that for a laugh.

I didn't wanna start too early, incase i missed tonight's fights. I'm also on medication and i ain't even supposed to drink, but **** that for a laugh.

All them doctors keep a bottle of vodka in their desks. Trust me, Laddie. You drink all the stella you want.

All them doctors keep a bottle of vodka in their desks. Trust me, Laddie. You drink all the stella you want.

Too right. Alky Bastards, the lot of 'em. :luvbed:

Too right. Alky Bastards, the lot of 'em. :luvbed:

There's a boozer across the road from me local doctors surgery. What does that tell yer, Laddie? Proof enough for yer?

There's a boozer across the road from me local doctors surgery. What does that tell yer, Laddie? Proof enough for yer?

Indeed it is proof enough for yours truly.

Can't say i blame them taking to the drink though. All them Hypochondriac cunts in 24/7 telling you they think they're dying from the plague.

Do one, cunts.

Indeed it is proof enough for yours truly.

Can't say i blame them taking to the drink though. All them Hypochondriac cunts in 24/7 telling you they think they're dying from the plague.

Do one, cunts.

Yeah them cunts need to lighten up. Have a pint and stop thinking every headaches' a tumour.

Allright you cunts

Yeah them cunts need to lighten up. Have a pint and stop thinking every headaches' a tumour.

I'll drink to that.

Allright you cunts

What's up, slutkins?

Not a lot just finished work and thought I'd see what's happening. Lay a few PWN's down in the dome then came in here.

Your right about doctors though, my missus is one and she knocks back the old wine.

And another thing when I'm ill she tells me to go and see a doctor. WTF?

Not a lot just finished work and thought I'd see what's happening. Lay a few PWN's down in the dome then came in here.

Your right about doctors though, my missus is one and she knocks back the old wine.

And another thing when I'm ill she tells me to go and see a doctor. WTF?

this account will be banned

this account will be banned


Why because you think I'm Isis whoever that is?

Well, that was ****.

****ing slags, too scared to trade.

I hope they move up so Calzaghe can give either one of them the beating they deserve.

Talking to yourself are we?

Pavlik needs to be put in his place and then the Pavlik bandwagon will disperse and never to be seen again.

Not anymore, now that you're here, snookums.

New PC i bought meself off Ebay:

http://cgi.ebay.com/ws/eBayISAPI.dll?ViewItem&Item=370021248193&Category=179&_trksid=p3907.m29

And a new Guitar i shall be purchasing:

http://www.musiciansfriend.com/product/Gibson-J160E-Standard-AcousticElectric?sku=517028

New PC i bought meself off Ebay:

http://cgi.ebay.com/ws/eBayISAPI.dll?ViewItem&Item=370021248193&Category=179&_trksid=p3907.m29


Nice one babes, that's a bargain.

I hope they move up so Calzaghe can give either one of them the beating they deserve.

Indeed. I avoided reading about who won and made the mistake of actually watching it this morning. What a bleedin piss take, a puncher like Pavlik holding back is a cunting disgrace so it is.

Indeed. I avoided reading about who won and made the mistake of actually watching it this morning. What a bleedin piss take, a puncher like Pavlik holding back is a cunting disgrace so it is.

T'was a snooze fest, that's for cuntin' certain.

Indeed. I avoided reading about who won and made the mistake of actually watching it this morning. What a bleedin piss take, a puncher like Pavlik holding back is a cunting disgrace so it is.

Pavlik is gonna get his scrawny ass laid out by zaggy. Did anyone think Taylor looked like summat from Madam Tussards?

Pavlik is gonna get his scrawny ass laid out by zaggy. Did anyone think Taylor looked like summat from Madam Tussards?

Wtf happened to you?

Wtf happened to you?


He spilt me pint.

So he deserved it then. Alan bless him.

Wtf happened to you?

Met the business end of a baseball bat last night unfortunately!

http://www.boxingscene.com/forums/showthread.php?t=163999

He spilt me pint.

He's a tough man to please is old Stinger :(

Met the business end of a baseball bat last night unfortunately!

http://www.boxingscene.com/forums/showthread.php?t=163999

****ing cunts!

I wish you a speedy recovery.

****ing cunts!

I wish you a speedy recovery.

Cheers son. I got pissed and had a wank after the hospital last night, did wonders for the morale.

Will yer be seeking revenge naps?

Will yer be seeking revenge naps?

The cunts should be hunted down and made to read Msagrain's posts.

The cunts should be hunted down and made to read Msagrain's posts.

Lets not go too far, babes. They need to be punished, yes, but do you really think reading Mr Green's posts should be used for anything less than murder?

Lets not go too far, babes. They need to be punished, yes, but do you really think reading Mr Green's posts should be used for anything less than murder?

You're right. This is civilized Great Britain, not America.

Will yer be seeking revenge naps?

Too ****ing right pal, theres allsorts of hell to be paid. I'm gonna go up to manc and chill for a few day and get better, then when I'm fit and well I shall be hunting the ****s down one by one.

My brother managed to knock one of them out before they all jumped on us with the bats, but i didn't even get chance to land a single punch. I feel cheated.

Too ****ing right pal, theres allsorts of hell to be paid. I'm gonna go up to manc and chill for a few day and get better, then when I'm fit and well I shall be hunting the ****s down one by one.

My brother managed to knock one of them out before they all jumped on us with the bats, but i didn't even get chance to land a single punch. I feel cheated.


I wish you luck naps. Read a couple of Mr Greens posts before setting off on yer hunt; It will get you in the mood, so it will.

Southpaw, a little treat for you, me lover:

http://i54.photobucket.com/albums/g92/mario_world/scarlettjohanssontheotherboleyngirl.jpg
http://i54.photobucket.com/albums/g92/mario_world/scarlettjohanssontheotherboleyng-1.jpg
http://i54.photobucket.com/albums/g92/mario_world/scarlettjohanssontheotherboleyng-2.jpg
http://i54.photobucket.com/albums/g92/mario_world/scarlettjohanssontheotherboleyng-3.jpg

you know what buttons to push, Laddie. Yer a good one, so you are.

Ditto.


...................

How to get to the boozers when you leave the house:

Turn right at the gang of Chavs, then take a left at the vagrant laying comatose in his own filth, and it's straight ahead. You can't miss it.

Simple.

Have you saw the route to heaven, Southpaw? **** me! you couldn't get there with a GPS and a sherpa guide.

How to get to the boozers when you leave the house:

Turn right at the gang of Chavs, then take a left at the vagrant laying comatose in his own filth, and it's straight ahead. You can't miss it.

Simple.

Have you saw the route to heaven, Southpaw? **** me! you couldn't get there with a GPS and a sherpa guide.

Me sat nav always takes me to asda, Laddie. Is it trying to tell me somthing?

Me sat nav always takes me to asda, Laddie. Is it trying to tell me somthing?

Aye, that you should bin the ****er.

Aye, that you should bin the ****er.

Consider it done, Laddie.

It was thinking of getting this for me bedroom:

http://i54.photobucket.com/albums/g92/mario_world/a15b_1MiniKitchen.jpg

Save me lazy arse from getting up and going to the kitchen everytime i want to grab a beer or make a bacon sarnie.

It was thinking of getting this for me bedroom:

http://i54.photobucket.com/albums/g92/mario_world/a15b_1MiniKitchen.jpg

Save me lazy arse from getting up and going to the kitchen everytime i want to grab a beer or make a bacon sarnie.

Fackin 'ell, I'm having one of those.

Twas definitely a bum boy that designed it for the footy.

Twas definitely a bum boy that designed it for the footy.

The cunt could've stuck a urinal on the side of it an all and then it would have been perfect, but you can't ask for everything eh...and **** a duck, I suppose it wouldn't be that hygienic.

The cunt could've stuck a urinal on the side of it an all and then it would have been perfect, but you can't ask for everything eh...and **** a duck, I suppose it wouldn't be that hygienic.

Aye, we'll have to make do with the long walk to the bathroom at half-time.

Just piss in the sink, use your noggin fellas.

Aye, we'll have to make do with the long walk to the bathroom at half-time.

If it's gotta be done then it's gotta be done. To the bathroom at half time it is.

Just piss in the sink, use your noggin fellas.

This Isn't Eyerack, son. We don't go around pissing in sinks.

This Isn't Eyerack, son. We don't go around pissing in sinks.

I'm my own man I don't piss where "the man"(not me) tell me alright? got it? yeah? If I wanna piss in a bush, a sink or even on me nan I will, comprende?

And yes I do like what I see in the mirror its all I got left.

I'm my own man I don't piss where "the man"(not me) tell me alright? got it? yeah? If I wanna piss in a bush, a sink or even on me nan I will, comprende?

And yes I do like what I see in the mirror its all I got left.

Now, pissing on one's nan - i ain't got a problem with.

good I was starting to think you were a right flid.

Has anyone seen mulholland drive? im about to watch it but is it worth it?

I thought it was **** to be honest.

Laura Harring is :wank: material though:

http://i54.photobucket.com/albums/g92/mario_world/p6lauraharring.jpg
http://i54.photobucket.com/albums/g92/mario_world/p7lauraharring.jpg

I thought it was **** to be honest.

Laura Harring is :wank: material though:

http://i54.photobucket.com/albums/g92/mario_world/p6lauraharring.jpg
http://i54.photobucket.com/albums/g92/mario_world/p7lauraharring.jpg

thats done it for me, i'm a big twin peaks fan so I might as well, its either that or have to talk to my missus, na night boys x.

I fell asleep on me testicles. This is not good.

I fell asleep on me testicles. This is not good.

What aches more - Sore testicles or one's head reading an Msingabrain paragraph?

What aches more - Sore testicles or one's head reading an Msingabrain paragraph?


Head > testicles if thats the options, Laddie. But I'm still in bleeding agony, so I am. Time for another Stella.

Head > testicles if thats the options, Laddie. But I'm still in bleeding agony, so I am. Time for another Stella.

You know your remedies, darling. I'm impressed.

You know your remedies, darling. I'm impressed.


I'd recommend it to cancer patients so I would. Stella > NHS

No doubt, love.

Here's to Stella and a Celtic win.

Tonight's the night.

Tonight's the night.

Atomic, indeed.

Any plans?

Any plans?

Meh, Stella and curry. A beautiful night in with my two favourite vices.

Meh, Stella and curry. A beautiful night in with my two favourite vices.

It's either that as well or the pub for me.

I could get a curry and take it in the pub with me. That would suffice.

It's either that as well or the pub for me.

I could get a curry and take it in the pub with me. That would suffice.

I tried that once, but the landlord told me I couldn't bring me own food in. The cunt. I won't get pissed there again.

I tried that once, but the landlord told me I couldn't bring me own food in. The cunt. I won't get pissed there again.

The pubs round my way always let you take takeaways in to eat.

I remember once i spent about £40 on takeaway and just spent the whole night sitting in the pub eating, drinking pints and playing dominoes with the old folks.

Happy days!

Celtic and Barca teams:

Boruc

Caddis
Caldwell
McManus
Naylor

Nakamura
Robson
Hartley
McGeady

Hesselink
McDonald

Valdes

Puyol
Militio
Marquez
Abidal

Toure
Iniesta
Deco

Messi
Henry
Ronaldinho

Celtic and Barca teams:

Boruc

Caddis
Caldwell
McManus
Naylor

Nakamura
Robson
Hartley
McGeady

Hesselink
McDonald

Valdes

Puyol
Militio
Marquez
Abidal

Toure
Iniesta
Deco

Messi
Henry
Ronaldinho

Not long to go now. I can't sit still.

This is going to be a real test for young Caddis. He was exceptional against Kilmarnock.

This is going to be a real test for young Caddis. He was exceptional against Kilmarnock.

Last time Celtic threw someone in at the deep end against Barca it was David Marshall and he done alright for himself over the two games.

The pubs round my way always let you take takeaways in to eat.

I remember once i spent about £40 on takeaway and just spent the whole night sitting in the pub eating, drinking pints and playing dominoes with the old folks.

Happy days!

Right now I'd kill to do somthing like that. Yer a lucky bloke, Laddie.

1-0 Celtic :banana:

EDIT: 1-1 Messi, boooo

Stellas' consumed - 8

Stellas' remaining - 4

**** sake.

Any chance of a blow, fellas? i'm dealing with some major hurt.

Hoff, up for a game of chess?

**** sake.

Any chance of a blow, fellas? i'm dealing with some major hurt.

Whats up, Laddie?

Someone piss in yer Stella? Headbutt the cunt!

Whats up, Laddie?

Someone piss in yer Stella? Headbutt the cunt!

Me beloved Celtic got beat, lover.

There will be other games, me lover. Once a pint is tainted it is gone forever, be thankful yer Stella survived.

That much is true.

Thanks, lover.

Rangers game about to kick off. 'Mon The Teddy Bears!

Good Luck.

Some bloke is refusing to give me my points I won off him, I must have vengence

Laddie, have you learned to play chess now then?

Laddie, have you learned to play chess now then?

I've learned the basics.

I've learned the basics.

Good job j.eggin. We'll have a game in the next couple of days. I'll pwn you gently me darling.

We are The People! Bring on the Nazi's!!!

Good job j.eggin. We'll have a game in the next couple of days. I'll pwn you gently me darling.

Ease me into the chess pwnage game darling.

How it do, drunken tarts?

How it do, drunken tarts?


I'm off to bed, babes. Me beers all gone, and with it me staying power.

I'm off to bed, babes. Me beers all gone, and with it me staying power.

I know the feeling.

Here's to watching Sexy Wlad through a thick pair of beer goggles. :hitit:

Predictions for tonight, fellas?

Klit TKO 7? Thats his norm anyway.

Booze glorious booze.

Good lord, what a thriller, eh?

Can't believe I stayed up for it, Laddie. What a piss take.

The last couple of fights have been cuntin' letdowns.

Roll on Haye-Maccarinelli.

The last couple of fights have been cuntin' letdowns.

Roll on Haye-Maccarinelli.

Did you see the Duddy fight, Laddie?

I missed the Duddy fight. I was doing some hefty boozing during that one.

I missed the Duddy fight. I was doing some hefty boozing during that one.

Well he's obviously another overated prospect, Laddie. He was cut up early on.

The guys got no bleedin defense, a bit like poland.

Well he's obviously another overated prospect, Laddie. He was cut up early on.

The guys got no bleedin defense, a bit like poland.

At least Poland had a go, for a bit. Did Duddy?

im slightly pissed already lads, the missus is in a mood though cause im on the pc ignorning her .. twat

I'm pissed as well, babes. Watching me beloved Celtic stink the place out against the mighty St Mirren.

At least Poland had a go, for a bit. Did Duddy?

Well he won the fight, Laddie. But if his opponent had the same cuts the fight would have been stopped pronto. If he still wants a shot at Pavlik I think he needs to lay off the guiness.

good lad, im tempted to blast the neighbors out with gangster rap made me do it, but the bird is watching eastenders haha

Well he won the fight, Laddie. But if his opponent had the same cuts the fight would have been stopped pronto. If he still wants a shot at Pavlik I think he needs to lay off the guiness.

Guiness or career - it's a tough cuntin' choice.

good lad, im tempted to blast the neighbors out with gangster rap made me do it, but the bird is watching eastenders haha

Blast it out anyway, then blast a load on her face for her cheek.

Blast it out anyway, then blast a load on her face for her cheek.

then say " gangsta rap made me do it "

Guiness or career - it's a tough cuntin' choice.

A choice I hope to never be faced with, babes.

I'm pissed as well, babes. Watching me beloved Celtic stink the place out against the mighty St Mirren.

Your boys got out of jail today.

Your boys got out of jail today.

That we did.

If we had slipped up today then the league, IMO, was over.

I can't wait for the old Firm games to happen. I can't recall them having as much impact on deciding the league.

That we did.

If we had slipped up today then the league, IMO, was over.

I can't wait for the old Firm games to happen. I can't recall them having as much impact on deciding the league.

The title run in is going to be crazy. I read in the paper today that they are thinking of having back-to-back Old Firm games before and after the split.

The title run in is going to be crazy. I read in the paper today that they are thinking of having back-to-back Old Firm games before and after the split.

It's going to be immense that's for sure.

Mozza, for you my love:

Gazza sectioned under Mental Health Act and sent to institution for retards with no hope of recovery. "We're glad to have him back" said Walter Smith.

It's going to be immense that's for sure.

Mozza, for you my love:

Gazza sectioned under Mental Health Act and sent to institution for retards with no hope of recovery. "We're glad to have him back" said Walter Smith.

:haha: :haha: :haha: :haha:

2-1 to the mighty Villa.

Trust a ginge to ruin the clean sheet, eh.

2-1 to the mighty Villa.

Trust a ginge to ruin the clean sheet, eh.

****in typical eh, the cunt, but I'm well pleased with the result. Champions league here we come.

Think Martin will get the funds to strengthen the team over the summer?

Think Martin will get the funds to strengthen the team over the summer?

I hope so. Randy seems like a good fella (for a fat yank) though so I've got faith in him to give ol' Martin a few quid.

I hope so. Randy seems like a good fella (for a fat yank) though so I've got faith in him to give ol' Martin a few quid.

Who would you go for? Dong-**** Lee? Boumsong?

I dunno, we need a right back and I wouldn't be unhappy if it was Chimbonda, and we could do with a striker and a right sided midfielder an all.

Did you see last night's barn burner, lover?

Did you see last night's barn burner, lover?

Alas I did not. Did sexy Wlad let us down laddie?

Alas I did not. Did sexy Wlad let us down laddie?

That he did.

It made Skelton-Sprott look positively riveting.

That he did.

It made Skelton-Sprott look positively riveting.

**** unifying, that right there ^ is a hell of a cunting achievement.

Are you working longer hours these days? i 'ardly see you on, guv.

Are you working longer hours these days? i 'ardly see you on, guv.

We're short staffed and I end up ****ing covering. Hopefully we'll get some new staff soon and I can cut down on me hours and get back to some bum love, banter and pwning.

We're short staffed and I end up ****ing covering. Hopefully we'll get some new staff soon and I can cut down on me hours and get back to some bum love, banter and pwning.

The true glory days. Not this 2004 nonsense.

The true glory days. Not this 2004 nonsense.
Too ****in right.

I'm not even drinking as much as I used to now I'm working so much laddie. It's all gone downhill so it has. I can't wait till we're fully staffed again.

Too ****in right.

I'm not even drinking as much as I used to now I'm working so much laddie. It's all gone downhill so it has. I can't wait till we're fully staffed again.

I'm ashamed to admit that i, meself, haven't been drinking as much as i should have.

We need to buck up our ideas, and stop being cunts.

I'm ashamed to admit that i, meself, haven't been drinking as much as i should have.

We need to buck up our ideas, and stop being cunts.

Frank would kick our arses from here to Ethiopia if he ever found out what we've been up to laddie. Sinners the both of us. After next week I've got a couple of weeks off and I'm going to do some serious drinking to make up for me non beverage consuming ways.

Aye, it's time for me to get back to banter and bum fun, followed by a bottle of whisky and a Rebus novel.

Happy Days!

Aye, it's time for me to get back to banter and bum fun, followed by a bottle of whisky and a Rebus novel.

Happy Days!

Who could ask for more? Erbad obviously, he wouldn't be happy with just that, he'd want world peace and an end to j.egginist abuse...but who gives a **** about Erbad eh...

Forever boring
whenever ever i read your posts i'm snoring.

Sums him up perfectly.

Laddie, sum 2nd to nonce up in a rhyme for me would yer.

Laddie, sum 2nd to nonce up in a rhyme for me would yer.

Here you go:

Your big Mexican heed
Forever stoned on weed
Your balls are the topic of conversations
even though they're the size of raisins.

To summerize:
you eat too many pies. :luvbed:

Here you go:

Your big Mexican heed
Forever stoned on weed
Your balls are the topic of conversations
even though they're the size of raisins.

To summerize:
you eat too many pies. :luvbed:

I love it.

Here's one about Brooky:

He's a sexy dancing jew
If you're a tranny he might fancy you
So let's all get pissed
And toast the communist :beerchug:

I love it.

Here's one about Brooky:

He's a sexy dancing jew
If you're a tranny he might fancy you
So let's all get pissed
And toast the communist :beerchug:

Beautiful.

Have your creative juices been flowing for a while now, babes?

Beautiful.

Have your creative juices been flowing for a while now, babes?

The heart that pumps me creative juices has got a blocked aorta, but I can sense that the problem will be resolved soon and there will be no stopping me juices.

Just caught the Duddy fight on replay. Dear god what a mess. But entertaining none the less.

Just caught the Duddy fight on replay. Dear god what a mess. But entertaining none the less.

That it was, babes. So Duddy vs Pavlik, what are your thoughts, Laddie?

That it was, babes. So Duddy vs Pavlik, what are your thoughts, Laddie?

I fear for Duddy's well being in that one. Pavlik TKO 5.