It's gotten better in Scotland over the last few years - there are lots of talented youngsters getting their shot.

The Celtic first team has between 6-7 Scottish players in it, depending on injuries.

The glory days though, eh. When an all Scottish/Glasgow side pwned Technical Skill before he was even born by beating the mighty Inter Milan 2-1 to become the first British side to life the European cup.

Happy Days!

Alright ******s.

Lol@ the word J.eggin.s being censored.

PC bastards.

Let's wank, *****es:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=YhpJ3USgKGs

Laddie, is the lack of Hoffyness affecting yer trousersnake....

It certainly cuntin' is.

:moon:

^There's plenty for all.

Tuck in fellas :luvbed:

:moon:

^There's plenty for all.

Tuck in fellas :luvbed:

Me prayers have been answered, so they have :luvbed:

Hoff, me lover - have i told you how much i appreciate and respect your words? you're a poet to me, babes.

Hoff, me lover - have i told you how much i appreciate and respect your words? you're a poet to me, babes.

As you are to me darling. A man who can express his true cunting feelings as eloquently as you can is truly a bum boy to be respected and loved.

I also like yer trousersnake :luvbed:

Southpaw, giz a kiss :kiss:

As you are to me darling. A man who can express his true cunting feelings as eloquently as you can is truly a bum boy to be respected and loved.

I also like yer trousersnake :luvbed:

Southpaw, giz a kiss :kiss:

Hoff, me darling, have I told you that respect you as a person and I would never take advantage of you... unless you like it that way :kiss:

Hoff, me darling, have I told you that respect you as a person and I would never take advantage of you... unless you like it that way :kiss:

I'm on the carling again tonight me lover, so you may ravish me in ways that many bum boys would not even dream of. I need some good lovin' to divert me attention from the ****e I'm drinking.

Long live Stella!

Alan Akbar!

I'm on the carling again tonight me lover, so you may ravish me in ways that many bum boys would not even dream of. I need some good lovin' to divert me attention from the ****e I'm drinking.

Long live Stella!

Alan Akbar!

An extra serving of special saurce will sort out yer troubles :bukkake:

An extra serving of special saurce will sort out yer troubles :bukkake:

Lay it on thick, I'm famished so I am.

Awright bum boys.

Mickey, you've smudged the Bringer's mascara all over you lips.

A song about Welter:

Parents are raging all around my door
I said i'd never touched your kids before
It takes a mob of this mass
To transport my ass
Straight back to those Canuck-land shores

Any more verses, fellas?

We need Hoff's literary talent on this one.

I bring new meaning to the phrase 'riding bikes'.
And in my basement I'm hiding young tykes
The kids they call me the peedo baddie
I told em to clear off - I need my maddy
And a feline to fondle while hitting the bong
Do you think Maddy would look fit in a thong?

Wonderful.

Welter > Fred Kruger.

Wonderful.

Welter > Fred Kruger.

A group of stray cats wandering through an alley. Welter turns up and beckons them to follow him to his love shack, then cat woman turns up and tries to recruit them into her army of moggies.

Who they gonna go with?

I'm going for Welter because catwoman hasn't got a trousersnake. Lust would win out in the end.

Aye, no doubt.

Welter's trousersnake > Batman, because even the the dark knight couldn't beat the Moggy slut.

Aye, no doubt.

Welter's trousersnake > Batman, because even the the dark knight couldn't beat the Moggy slut.

Tim Burton should make a film of Welter's life story, starting in the land of the moose ****ers and then following him to the mean streets of Leicester, and into the murky bread baking corrupt company that is Greggs.

Let's hope it isn't a musical, eh.

Let's hope it isn't a musical, eh.

Aye, it should be a gritty film noir, with Welter trying to get out of the dark and murky pwnage world, only to be dragged back into the thunderdome flaming and screaming by the merest insult.

It should be shot in black and white, just to emphasise the contrast between the jiggas that Welter flames, and the white power klan that is team classic.

Aye, it should be a gritty film noir, with Welter trying to get out of the dark and murky pwnage world, only to be dragged back into the thunderdome flaming and screaming by the merest insult.

It should be shot in black and white, just to emphasise the contrast between the jiggas that Welter flames, and the white power klan that is team classic.

This > Citizen Kane for best screenplay.

Aye, it should be a gritty film noir, with Welter trying to get out of the dark and murky pwnage world, only to be dragged back into the thunderdome flaming and screaming by the merest insult.

It should be shot in black and white, just to emphasise the contrast between the jiggas that Welter flames, and the white power klan that is team classic.

Shh!!... you're giving away our secrets.


Besides....we just inducted Kaynan. (Worse Classic Move Ever.)

Kaynan may be black...... but he gives mighty fine deepthroat blowjobs.

Mainly due to his races ability to chow down on whole bananas.


(Awaits banning).

Orson Welles can eat my pwnage dust.

I was gonna make an alt recently with a black boys head photoshopped onto a giraffes neck and call it Gaynan. I still might.

haha Gaynan.

Kaynan....Kayjay...

i think there the same person.

Because....look..they both start with Kay.

Do you like my theory!? I think we've cracked it son!

haha Gaynan.

Kaynan....Kayjay...

i think there the same person.

Because....look..they both start with Kay.

Do you like my theory!? I think we've cracked it son!

One of me nans name is Kay. I don't like her, and personally, I think she created Kaynan and Kaygay, because her name is Kay.

We're getting somewhere with this theory Mickey, we really cunting are.

Morning lovers.

MickeyB
Don't you dare avoid me
Or i'll rape your arse and from the courts walk free
Then expose those pics of you as a she.


Ya dig!

MickeyB
Don't you dare avoid me
Or i'll rape your arse and from the courts walk free
Then expose those pics of you as a she.


Ya dig!

MickeyB watched some sexy fanny pass
And thought "it makes a change from Annie's ass"
So he grabbed the dame and felt her
It turns out she was only 13
So he ended up blaming Welter

Me bleedin balls are killing me fellas, is the bum boy lifestyle bringing me down? meh, it's cunting worth it so it is!

Me bleedin balls are killing me fellas, is the bum boy lifestyle bringing me down? meh, it's cunting worth it so it is!

Struck down by ball ache, eh.

P.S. Hoff, cracking verse - it moved me so it did.

Keep yer trousersnake up Southpaw. Better to be a suffering bum boy than a pain free twizzle dicked cannuck.

Dear Hoff
Let's go kick the **** out of some toff
head be spinnin' when our jabs make Ali look like a sloth
The we'll rape the Bringer - 7ft tattooed goth.

whats up jiggas!!!

Laddie, lets put the boot in
To a fat yank who likes to be shootin'
We'll do some kung fu like Vladimir Putin
And swing him round by his **** ring like The Bringer
Is anyone sexier than southpaw stinger?

No one is sexier than Southpaw
He makes Brooklyn Bomber wilt like Hatton, when Hatton gets cracked on the jaw.

No one is sexier than Southpaw
He makes Brooklyn Bomber wilt like Hatton, when Hatton gets cracked on the jaw.

Smokin once pm'd me and said "I'm so handsome, I get all the ***** yo, when I go to the club I got women flocking to me...but, now keep this between me and you - Southpaw Stinger is better looking than me. Don't tell anyone I told you that though"

That's gotta prove it eh, even the fanny gobbling Smokin admits that our Southpaw is the sexiest bum boy in town.

Anyone who denies Southpaw's sexiness goes to the 7th layer of hell and gets ass-raped by spawn.... it's just the way it is.

Anyone who denies Southpaw's sexiness goes to the 7th layer of hell and gets ass-raped by spawn.... it's just the way it is.

Dante said it must be so, and was Dante ever wrong? Well, I heard that he said that Jeremy cunting Kyle was a nice guy not so long ago, so maybe he doesn't get everything spot on, but he was right about southpaw.

When Jeremy does go... the chiefs of hell are going to barbecue his ass.

When Jeremy does go... the chiefs of hell are going to barbecue his ass.

I bet the fellas down there are stocking up on firelighters and logs as we speak.

No one deserves it more.

Dante said it must be so, and was Dante ever wrong? Well, I heard that he said that Jeremy cunting Kyle was a nice guy not so long ago, so maybe he doesn't get everything spot on, but he was right about southpaw.

Very true babes. Even when I'm bent down cluching me ball sack in agony, I am able to retain an aura of sexyness that puts Shanus to shame... And thats somthing..

Very true babes. Even when I'm bent down cluching me ball sack in agony, I am able to retain an aura of sexyness that puts Shanus to shame... And thats somthing..

To be fair to Shanus, he's got a way with them sheep that even me and you would find hard to match. He charms em a treat so he does.

To be fair to Shanus, he's got a way with them sheep that even me and you would find hard to match. He charms em a treat so he does.

Yer talking to someone who currenty has a pair of lamp chops between his legs. But I suppose yer right, me lover. That welsh stud could charm the wool off a celibate sheep's back, so he could.

Yer talking to someone who currenty has a pair of lamp chops between his legs. But I suppose yer right, me lover. That welsh stud could charm the wool off a celibate sheep's back, so he could.

...and then he'd move on to her mate.

Fair play to him.

...and then he'd move on to her mate.

Fair play to him.

Aye, the fella has his own agenda. I'd buy him a drink.

Aye, the fella has his own agenda. I'd buy him a drink.

I'd buy him and his bird a drink. I'd fill her trough with Stella so I would.

Can't say fairer than that.

I'd buy him and his bird a drink. I'd fill her trough with Stella so I would.

Can't say fairer than that.

Yer a generous fella Hoff. I'd have bought her a box of Daz but a Stella seems pretty fair to me.

Yer a generous fella Hoff. I'd have bought her a box of Daz but a Stella seems pretty fair to me.

I'm gonna get her a bar of pears soap as well. She needs to scrub rigorously after every encounter with Shanus, wouldn't you say?

I'm gonna get her a bar of pears soap as well. She needs to scrub rigorously after every encounter with Shanus, wouldn't you say?


What with all the foot and mouth yer can't be too careful.

Alright lovers.

P.S. Scarface on ITV right now.

Any room here for a fellow brit?

What with all the foot and mouth yer can't be too careful.
It was the herpes that he caught off azza that I was thinking of, but the foot and mouth is dangerous an all southpaw, so you're quite right so you are.
Alright lovers.

P.S. Scarface on ITV right now.
How long has it been on for darling?
Any room here for a fellow brit?
Always. You're most cunting welcome. Pull up a pew.

Always. You're most cunting welcome. Pull up a pew.

Cheers babes. :luvbed:

****ing car alarm has woken me from me slumber.

****ing car alarm has woken me from me slumber.


Bleedin piss take when that happens.

Awright, bum boys?

Me internet connection has been playing up - this is the first time i have been able to get online in over a week.

Cuntin scandalous.

Awright, bum boys?

Me internet connection has been playing up - this is the first time i have been able to get online in over a week.

Cuntin scandalous.


you owe me poor trousersnake an apology, babes. Every night he has waited for you, like a loyal dog awaits it's master.


:hitit:

you owe me poor trousersnake an apology, babes. Every night he has waited for you, like a loyal dog awaits it's master.


:hitit:

Tell your trousernsnake that master is home, and that i have an extra special treat for it.

Tell your trousernsnake that master is home, and that i have an extra special treat for it.

He jumped up on your arrival, Laddie.

:luvbed:

Welcome back me darling. I found The Smiths on the south bank show on youtube and I was gonna post up links for you, but you weren't around :(

I shall send said links over to yer in a wee bit.

Welcome back me darling. I found The Smiths on the south bank show on youtube and I was gonna post up links for you, but you weren't around :(

I shall send said links over to yer in a wee bit.

Cheers darling.

I trust you bum boys are drinking tonight?

Cheers darling.

I trust you bum boys are drinking tonight?

I'm gonna finish this game of chess I'm playing then I'll crack open a stella. The beloved Stella puts me off me game so she does.

Is DaveBrown a bellend? he doesn't appear to like me, he also likes to play in the arcade so I suspect he may be a peadophile.

Or is it just me?

I'm gonna finish this game of chess I'm playing then I'll crack open a stella. The beloved Stella puts me off me game so she does.

Still checkmating them fools, Hoff?

Take their King for me, darling.

Is DaveBrown a bellend? he doesn't appear to like me, he also likes to play in the arcade so I suspect he may be a peadophile.

Or is it just me?

Has he given you red k and threatened to rape/kill your sister?

Everyone has experienced that at some time. It's par for the cunting course so it is.

Still checkmating them fools, Hoff?

Take their King for me, darling.

I'm mating fools like a sex maniac let loose in a mental asylum.

So Faddy is off to those blue nose slags then laddie. Are ye disappointed?

He red k'd me for saying the ganges was full of **** which it is I might add and gave me a 1 star rating. heartbroken so I am.

O well I'll try to take it in my stride, another can of strongbow should ease the pain.

Best be off, Na Nite all.

He red k'd me for saying the ganges was full of **** which it is I might add and gave me a 1 star rating. heartbroken so I am.

O well I'll try to take it in my stride, another can of strongbow should ease the pain.

Best be off, Na Nite all.

Goodnight tart.

I'll have some alts give you 5 star ratings. That should do the trick.

I'm mating fools like a sex maniac let loose in a mental asylum.

So Faddy is off to those blue nose slags then laddie. Are ye disappointed?

Is it official?

I heard the offer had been accepted, but Faddy rejected the move.

I'd like to see him come to the Hoops but 6 cuntin' million is asking a bit much.

Here you go, darling:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=On1Q1PmJL4Y

Nakamura's first game back from injury after 3 and a half months and he scores a contender for goal of the season.

Gotta love that sexy Japanese bum boy.

Is it official?

I heard the offer had been accepted, but Faddy rejected the move.

I'd like to see him come to the Hoops but 6 cuntin' million is asking a bit much.

Here you go, darling:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=On1Q1PmJL4Y

Nakamura's first game back from injury after 3 and a half months and he scores a contender for goal of the season.

Gotta love that sexy Japanese bum boy.

Yeah, the deal has been done now. It's 4.75 mill with another 1 mill in add ons. Tis a wee bit steep but he'll do a grand job for them cunts so he will.

I'll have a butchers at that sexy japs goal right now me darling.

I heard your lot were after Defoe.

Would you like to see him at Villa?

I heard your lot were after Defoe.

Would you like to see him at Villa?

I would. He hasn't really been given a fair chance with the jew boys. If we had Defoe, Young and Gabby we'd scare the bejesus out of defences with our pace. He'd get us 20 goals a season I reckon.

Ol' Martin's starting to get his notes right now as he conducts his operatic masterpiece, ain't he?

Ol' Martin's starting to get his notes right now as he conducts his operatic masterpiece, ain't he?

Aye. He set the mood by getting the old bagpipes out, and now we're playing some beautiful tunes so we are.

Laurson has signed a new contract an all.

I just watched the sexy Japs goal laddie. Most shagtastic it was. His left foot is almost as good as the mighty Steve Staunton's was back in the day.

Aye. He set the mood by getting the old bagpipes out, and now we're playing some beautiful tunes so we are.

Laurson has signed a new contract an all.

I just watched the sexy Japs goal laddie. Most shagtastic it was. His left foot is almost as good as the mighty Steve Staunton's was back in the day.

I just saw sexy Steve on Setanta. The volume was down mind, so i had no idea what he was talking about.

Weren't Villa 4th in the league at one point a while back? that's good going.

I just saw sexy Steve on Setanta. The volume was down mind, so i had no idea what he was talking about.

Weren't Villa 4th in the league at one point a while back? that's good going.

We've got the same number of points as the scouse cunts at the moment laddie and they are in 4th on goal difference, and we play them on monday so fingers cunting crossed.

Us, Liverpool, Everton and man city have all got 39 points. The scousers have got a game in hand though (the red ones that is).

Without Torres and Gerrard, Liverpool would be about 10th in the league.

Cuntin' slags!

I hope youse do it, Hoff. I really do.

Without Torres and Gerrard, Liverpool would be about 10th in the league.

Cuntin' slags!

I hope youse do it, Hoff. I really do.

I'd be happy with getting into the UEFA cup. If we got into the champions league I'd be celebrating until 2010. It'd be orgytastic and send me trousersnake into raptures.

I'd be happy with getting into the UEFA cup. If we got into the champions league I'd be celebrating until 2010. It'd be orgytastic and send me trousersnake into raptures.

Anything's possible with Martin at the Helm.

Anything's possible with Martin at the Helm.

Tis true.

Laddie me darling, recommend me some good music. I got an IPOD for chrimbo and I'm trying to fill the cunt up.

Tis true.

Laddie me darling, recommend me some good music. I got an IPOD for chrimbo and I'm trying to fill the cunt up.

Any genre or mood of music in particular?

Any genre or mood of music in particular?

I wouldn't wanna limit you darling. I'm open minded so I am.

Fire away...

Off the top of me bonce:

The Who - Baba O'Reily
The Who - Won't get Fooled Again
God Only Knows - the Beach Boys
Imagine - John Lennon
Jealous Guy - John Lennon
Hey Jude - The Beatles
Strawberry Fields Forever - The Beatles
A day in the Life - the Beatles
Eleanor Rigby - the Beatles
Here Comes The Sun - The Beatles
Lucy in the Sky with Diamonds - The Beatles
In My Life - The Beatles
Bob Dylan - Like A Rolling Stone
Bod Dylan - All Along the Watchtower
Bob Dylan - Tangled up in Blue
Bob Dylan - I want You
Bob Dylan - Idiot Wind
Bob Dylan - Vision Of Johanna
Bob Dylan - Desolation Row
Oasis - Champagne Supernova
Oasis - Married With Children
Oasis - Cast No Shadow
Oasis - Live Forever

And check the great songs thread, darling:

http://www.boxingscene.com/forums/showthread.php?t=145627&highlight=great+songs+thread

Plenty of Classic in there.

Off the top of me bonce:

The Who - Baba O'Reily
The Who - Won't get Fooled Again
God Only Knows - the Beach Boys
Imagine - John Lennon
Jealous Guy - John Lennon
Hey Jude - The Beatles
Strawberry Fields Forever - The Beatles
A day in the Life - the Beatles
Eleanor Rigby - the Beatles
Here Comes The Sun - The Beatles
Lucy in the Sky with Diamonds - The Beatles
In My Life - The Beatles
Bob Dylan - Like A Rolling Stone
Bod Dylan - All Along the Watchtower
Bob Dylan - Tangled up in Blue
Bob Dylan - I want You
Bob Dylan - Idiot Wind
Bob Dylan - Vision Of Johanna
Bob Dylan - Desolation Row
Oasis - Champagne Supernova
Oasis - Married With Children
Oasis - Cast No Shadow
Oasis - Live Forever

And check the great songs thread, darling:

http://www.boxingscene.com/forums/showthread.php?t=145627&highlight=great+songs+thread

Plenty of Classic in there.

Cheers darling. I've got a few of them on there already, but the rest I'll download sharpish.

Good job j.eggin.

Laddie, if yer in need of entertainment I suggest you read Super Lightweights last few threads. He's been on top form while you've been having problems with yer computer.

Cheers darling. I've got a few of them on there already, but the rest I'll download sharpish.

Good job j.eggin.

Laddie, if yer in need of entertainment I suggest you read Super Lightweights last few threads. He's been on top form while you've been having problems with yer computer.

I saw his Darwin exposed thread and my heart wept.

As T.S Elliot said:

"And the Earth goes out not with a bang but with a whimper"

With bible-bashing slags like him at the helm then i fear he was spot on.

I saw his Darwin exposed thread and my heart wept.

As T.S Elliot said:

"And the Earth goes out not with a bang but with a whimper"

With bible-bashing slags like him at the helm then i fear he was spot on.

If it was up to SL we'd be burning scientists at the stake and insisting all nippers attend sunday school, and if they don't, well burn the nippers as well. The cunts.

At least the Roy fight will keep him busy for a while. He'll be wanking over that for a few days eh..

If it was up to SL we'd be burning scientists at the stake and insisting all nippers attend sunday school, and if they don't, well burn the nippers as well. The cunts.

At least the Roy fight will keep him busy for a while. He'll be wanking over that for a few days eh..

Aye, the only decent thing Roy will have done is to save us, for a few days at least, from the ignorant babble of this little Apostle-worshiping cunt.

I love the shows on the history channel like; The true Bible, The lies of the Apostles and the true word of god and so forth - i always watch them pwning the bible and Christianity and think of Super_****eweight.

Happy Days!

Aye, the only decent thing Roy will have done is to save us, for a few days at least, from the ignorant babble of this little Apostle-worshiping cunt.

I love the shows on the history channel like; The true Bible, The lies of the Apostles and the true word of god and so forth - i always watch them pwning the bible and Christianity and think of Super_****eweight.

Happy Days!

Shall we bombard his profile page with sacrilegious images? And then claim that God told us to do it.

http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v676/oze500/jesus20****ing20christ.jpg

Amen!

Shall we bombard his profile page with sacrilegious images? And then claim that God told us to do it.

http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v676/oze500/jesus20****ing20christ.jpg

Amen!

Sounds good to me.

Find me a cracker, babes. And I'll post it up.

How d'yer fancy this one laddie?

http://img151.imageshack.us/img151/7406/jesussuckslf1ad9.jpg

Looks good to me.

Here's another one:

http://photos3.flickr.com/4263802_5d7500e33f.jpg

I'm liking that one more.

Let's do it then Laddie. This is the one I'll be using:

http://deanpence.com/images/tshirthell-jesus.gif

Looks good, darling. I'm just having a piece and egg and then i'll post mine up.

Looks good, darling. I'm just having a piece and egg and then i'll post mine up.

Good show Laddie.

I'm gonna get a wee bit of kip now.

Shag yer later darling :luvbed:

Let's do it then Laddie. This is the one I'll be using:

http://deanpence.com/images/tshirthell-jesus.gif

Yer the best, Hoff. That one excites me prostate. :luvbed:

Night, babes.

Southpaw, Bear Grylls can survive the wilderness, but can he survive a night with you?

Night, babes.

Southpaw, Bear Grylls can survive the wilderness, but can he survive a night with you?

I doubt he has the endurance, Laddie.

Ross Kemp can survive the front line in Afghanistan, can he survive being shot at by the Hoff's love cannon?

I doubt he has the endurance, Laddie.

Ross Kemp can survive the front line in Afghanistan, can he survive being shot at by the Hoff's love cannon?

No chance.

No chance.

What do yer make of SL's lounge crusade, babes?

What do yer make of SL's lounge crusade, babes?

The same as i give dog **** - passing contempt.

Just washed down 2 Valium with a can.

Life is good.

Just washed down 2 Valium with a can.

Life is good.

I had a tic tac the other day with Jack D. Interesting experience, so it was.

I had a tic tac the other day with Jack D. Interesting experience, so it was.

Will you be doing it again, babes?

Will you be doing it again, babes?


I don't think so darling. The two conflicted taste wise. I'll stick to Jack D by it's sexy self from now on.

Wise move.

Only 6 cans left, darling. :(

Wise move.

Only 6 cans left, darling. :(

Count yerself lucky, babes. Four left and I'm all out of kettle crisps. What a bleedin' liberty. :nonono:

I've went right off crisps. Can't even look at the ****ers now without me stomach doing somersaults.

I've went right off crisps. Can't even look at the ****ers now without me stomach doing somersaults.

Sorry to hear that Laddie. A bloke needs his crips, so he does. Hope yer can give em' a second chance one day, babes. As long as yer still like yer chinese and Indian delights you'll be fine, so you will.

Sorry to hear that Laddie. A bloke needs his crips, so he does. Hope yer can give em' a second chance one day, babes. As long as yer still like yer chinese and Indian delights you'll be fine, so you will.

I'll be munching on many curries to come, don't you worry.

I'll be munching on many curries to come, don't you worry.

That makes two of us, Laddie.

That makes two of us, Laddie.

You can't beat curry.

You can't beat curry.

Interesting theory. I will have to agree as I can't think of anything to top it for the time being.

Did yer see our Harry today, babes?

Hoffy,

Same again mate for tomorrow's game? 10k

Give you chance to get your points back?

What up, ******s?

****in 2 all laddie :(

When we were 2-1 up with a couple of minutes to go I was almost ready to shoot me David Seaman in joyful celebration.

****in 2 all laddie :(

When we were 2-1 up with a couple of minutes to go I was almost ready to shoot me David Seaman in joyful celebration.

Aye, trust Crouch to save the day for the scouse lot, eh.

Aye, trust Crouch to save the day for the scouse lot, eh.

He's got it in for us cause we ****ed him off without giving him a chance, the lanky bastard.

If I ever saw him I'd do an Exige on him and headbutt him in the balls.

Some classic wee Gordon Strachan quotes for ya, Hoff:


Quote:
On Wayne Rooney...
"It's an incredible rise to stardom; at 17 you're more likely to get a call from Michael Jackson than Sven Goran Eriksson."

Quote:
Reporter: "Gordon, can we have a quick word please?"
Strachan: "Velocity." [walks off]

Quote:
Reporter: So, Gordon, in what areas do you think Middlesborough were better than you today?
Strachan: What areas? Mainly that big green one out there.

Quote:
Reporter: "Gordon, what will you take from today?"
Strachan: I've got more important things to think about. I've got a yoghurt to finish, the expiry date is today.

Quote:
Reporter: There goes your unbeaten run. Can you take it?
Strachan: No, I'm just going to crumble like a wreck. I'll go home, become an alcoholic and maybe jump off a bridge.

Quote:
Reporter: There's no negative vibes or negative feelings here?
Strachan: Apart from yourself, we're all quite positive round here. So I'm going to whack you over the head with a big stick - down negative man, down.

Quote:
Reporter: Welcome to Southampton Football Club. Do you think you are the right man to turn things around?
Strachan: No, I think they should have got George Graham because I'm useless.

Quote:
Reporter: Where will Marion Pahars fit into the team line-up?
Strachan: Not telling you! It's a secret.

Quote:
Reporter: "What is your impression of Jermaine Pennant?"
Strachan: "I don't do impressions."

Quote:
Reporter: So Gordon, any changes then?
Strachan: Naw, still 5ft 6, ginger and a big nose!

****in' classic they are laddie. You gotta love him aint yer. For a ginge, he's a fine fella.

****in' classic they are laddie. You gotta love him aint yer. For a ginge, he's a fine fella.

Aye, he's overcome two horrendous afflictions ( curse of the ginger and short man syndrome ) to become a wiry and witty little fella. For this alone; he deserves respect, not too much mind as he is still a ginge.

Also can you imagine Michael Jackson trying to ply Rooney with Jesus juice? It wouldn't be a smart move on Wacko Jacko's part that's for sure. He'd have more success with some granny **** mags, don't ya think?

Aye, he's overcome two horrendous afflictions ( curse of the ginger and short man syndrome ) to become a wiry and witty little fella. For this alone; he deserves respect, not too much mind as he is still a ginge.

Also can you imagine Michael Jackson trying to ply Rooney with Jesus juice? It wouldn't be a smart move on Wacko Jacko's part that's for sure. He'd have more success with some granny **** mags, don't ya think?

Aye, some GILF **** would get Rooney in the mood for a wee bit of a kiss and a cuddle. I reckon if Wacko Jacko ever gets horny while watching an animated movie and fancies sliding his whitened beef bayonet into one of the stars of the movie then Rooney will be for it, as Shrek is one of Jacko's favourite films, or so I heard on the old grapevine.

I've gotta give it to Ol' Gordy, considering he is the equivilent of the illegitimate offspring of Mick Hucknall and Exige, he certainly made the best of it so he did.

Aye, some GILF **** would get Rooney in the mood for a wee bit of a kiss and a cuddle. I reckon if Wacko Jacko ever gets horny while watching an animated movie and fancies sliding his whitened beef bayonet into one of the stars of the movie then Rooney will be for it, as Shrek is one of Jacko's favourite films, or so I heard on the old grapevine.

I've gotta give it to Ol' Gordy, considering he is the equivilent of the illegitimate offspring of Mick Hucknall and Exige, he certainly made the best of it so he did.

Think Exige has been getting knocked out right, left and centre in his amateur bouts like Versy and Super_****eweight?

I fear boxing scene will never produce a genuine contender, darling. Unless it's of the pwn variety.

Think Exige has been getting knocked out right, left and centre in his amateur bouts like Versy and Super_****eweight?

I fear boxing scene will never produce a genuine contender, darling. Unless it's of the pwn variety.

I dunno laddie, he's the only fella who can stand up tall and duck a punch at the same time, so he's got that going for him...but yeah, he's probably getting well aquainted with the canvas. When he gets knocked down he probably says to the canvas "Well here we are again, we must stop meeting like this, people will begin to talk".

Don't give up on boxingscenes ranks of glory seeking fighters laddie, not too long ago Kaygay said he'd make a comeback. I reckon he'll get a title shot you know.

Have yer seen me babyphat thread? Those cunting retards have taken it over (brooklyn the bummer not included), but I don't mind really, it's at about 9 pages and must be making me a few points, eh...

I dunno laddie, he's the only fella who can stand up tall and duck a punch at the same time, so he's got that going for him...but yeah, he's probably getting well aquainted with the canvas. When he gets knocked down he probably says to the canvas "Well here we are again, we must stop meeting like this, people will begin to talk".

Don't give up on boxingscenes ranks of glory seeking fighters laddie, not too long ago Kaygay said he'd make a comeback. I reckon he'll get a title shot you know.

Have yer seen me babyphat thread? Those cunting retards have taken it over (brooklyn the bummer not included), but I don't mind really, it's at about 9 pages and must be making me a few points, eh...

You gave me some hearty LOLs in the Babyphat thread. DemiMoore sounded like he was ready to have a coronary at one point.

Humourless tart!

I'm blonde but my facial hair gets ginger bits in it, am i wrong?

I'm blonde but my facial hair gets ginger bits in it, am i wrong?

I suffer the taint of the ginger at the tips of me beard as well. It's only fairly noticeable in extreme sunlight though.

You gave me some hearty LOLs in the Babyphat thread. DemiMoore sounded like he was ready to have a coronary at one point.

Humourless tart!

Glad yer liked it me darling. Twas an inspired moment for me so it was. Those two tarts scandalous behaviour enraged me and released me long forgotten creative powers and really got the juices flowing.

I suffer the taint of the ginger at the tips of me beard as well. It's only fairly noticeable in extreme sunlight though.

Gdgd I'm not alone then, I've not had a shave in 3 weeks (for a bet) and I resemble a Swedish **** star albeit one with a tiny ****.

I also suffer from facial hair that turns a shade of ginger when grown too long. I have considered chopping off my head to atone for this sin, but have come to realise that shaving is a suitable alternative to decapitation.

what do you fellas do for a living? and have you ever been with a prossie?

Couldn't get to cuntin' sleep last night, fellas. It's been like this for a couple of weeks - i've also felt lethargic and slightly depressed. I think i'm suffering from that seasonal affective disorder malarky.

Couldn't get to cuntin' sleep last night, fellas. It's been like this for a couple of weeks - i've also felt lethargic and slightly depressed. I think i'm suffering from that seasonal affective disorder malarky.

Meh, I've been suffering from that since 2002. Just snap out of it and get a beer. Works for me, so it does :luvbed:

Meh, I've been suffering from that since 2002. Just snap out of it and get a beer. Works for me, so it does :luvbed:

I've been slurping back on god's nectar, babes. And it helps, but this affective disorder is proving to be a tough little bastard that just refuses to say no and drop to the canvas for a ten count.

I'm thinking a Shavers-like hook from big Jack D will lay the cunt out.

I've been slurping back on god's nectar, babes. And it helps, but this affective disorder is proving to be a tough little bastard that just refuses to say no and drop to the canvas for a ten count.

I'm thinking a Shavers-like hook from big Jack D will lay the cunt out.

I will be ready to catch yer as you fall and throw yer amongst the sheets. With any luck the Hoff will be waiting with open arms.

If that isn't an insentive to tell the disorder to **** off then I don't know what is.

I'll knock his ***** ass out, Southpaw. Nothing comes between me and my hoffee.

I'll knock his ***** ass out, Southpaw. Nothing comes between me and my hoffee.

I should take up this therapy lark, I could put most practitioners in their place.

The stella treatment is by far my most popular exploit.

:beerchug:

You > Sigmund Freud.

You > Sigmund Freud.

I have always said that, Laddie. People told me it was arrogance but I said it ain't arrogance if you can back it up. I soon put them cunts in their place too, so I did.

I have always said that, Laddie. People told me it was arrogance but I said it ain't arrogance if you can back it up. I soon put them cunts in their place too, so I did.

Laid them out for the ten count on the old psychiatrist chair, eh?

Laid them out for the ten count on the old psychiatrist chair, eh?

Thats how it went, Laddie. And real professional like un'all.

There was me blathering on about being an insomniac and what do i do? i go and cuntin' fall asleep and wake up too late to order curry.

What a cunt!

There was me blathering on about being an insomniac and what do i do? i go and cuntin' fall asleep and wake up too late to order curry.

What a cunt!

I think me theropy is too effective, Laddie. If it stops a man ordering a curry then somthing is wrong. I'm anouncing me retirement from the medical practice, babes. Freud can keep his crown, so he can.

The day was not lost, Southpaw, babes. There's a little snack van just down the road from me that stays open 24/7 and i took a little midnight stroll and purchased a cheese burger, a chicken kebab and a portion of chips.

The other great thing about this snack bar is that it sells alcohol over the counter, illegally of course, but i'm sure us law abiding cunts can turn a blind eye when we are offered a couple of suds to wash the kebab down with, eh?

The day was not lost, Southpaw, babes. There's a little snack van just down the road from me that stays open 24/7 and i took a little midnight stroll and purchased a cheese burger, a chicken kebab and a portion of chips.

The other great thing about this snack bar is that it sells alcohol over the counter, illegally of course, but i'm sure us law abiding cunts can turn a blind eye when we are offered a couple of suds to wash the kebab down with, eh?

Damn cunting right, Laddie. I'd turn a blind eye to murder if it mean't getting a stella. I'm one heartless cunt these days.

Anyway, time for some valium and a nice long kip methinks. G'night babes :luvbed:

Night, babes.

A Valium a day
Keeps the voices in my head at bay.

Annie overrated the **** out of that pwntender bout, did he not, Hoff?

Annie overrated the **** out of that pwntender bout, did he not, Hoff?

Aye, it was two lads with limited skills knocking lumps out of each other. When you watch the more experienced pwners work in the dome it's like watching a title fight involving two world class P4P champs, but Dave vs 2nd, in comparison, was like watching back yard boxing.

Nevertheless, it was worth the entrance fee, eh Laddie.

What do you make of Al CaPWN? He's doing good work, aint he.

Aye, it was two lads with limited skills knocking lumps out of each other. When you watch the more experienced pwners work in the dome it's like watching a title fight involving two world class P4P champs, but Dave vs 2nd, in comparison, was like watching back yard boxing.

Nevertheless, it was worth the entrance fee, eh Laddie.

What do you make of Al CaPWN? He's doing good work, aint he.

He could be the tottenham of this tournament and surprise everyone by going all the way.

His style bamboozles, that's for sure.

Smokin' basically gave up as soon as the bell rang.

He could be the tottenham of this tournament and surprise everyone by going all the way.

His style bamboozles, that's for sure.

Smokin' basically gave up as soon as the bell rang.

His literary playfulness has impressed me no cunting end, I must say. The lad's got the ability to go far in the pwnage business. Smokin' just didn't know what to do. That twizzle was at a loss and went the no mas route before the bout had even got going properly.

Who's your pick for the final laddie? Al CaPWN will get there, of that there is no doubt, but who will he match up with in the decider?

I see the whole tournament being called off after Annie throws a hissy fit when he gets knocked out at the quarter finals stage.

I see the whole tournament being called off after Annie throws a hissy fit when he gets knocked out at the quarter finals stage.

If Annie was in it that's how it would end up, most bloody definitely, but this tournament is just for the up and comers in the dome. The pretenders to the pwn crown are all in the mix to determine which fellas deserve the right to challenge the established stars.

I think Annie is gonna give the winner a shot at his title, if the slag aint banned again by then. If he is banned I think the plan is to throw em into a warm up bout with Versy just to keep the pwntender champ busy in the meanwhile.

Is Naz_Fan signed up?

He would've took 2nd to nonce and the pack key out at the same time.

Is Naz_Fan signed up?

He would've took 2nd to nonce and the pack key out at the same time.

Good point, our Naz would've been fired up and scored an early KO. Unfortunately the lad is not signed up to the pwntender competition. Otherwise he'd be a good bet to go all the way.

I think the OsamaBinNazFan fella took it badly when he had his unlimited k revoked. It must be quite upsetting to a fella though, I treasure mine so I do. I'd feel naked without me unlimited k stick, almost like Raesaad without his pimp 'stache.

Whoo hoo, it's Friday fellas.

Time to get some Kronenberg in.

Nothing like a large whisky to warm the ****les, eh fellas.

Nothing like a large whisky to warm the ****les, eh fellas.

Damn cunting right, babes. I'm nursing a bottle now, so I am.

Damn cunting right, babes. I'm nursing a bottle now, so I am.

I'm having a couple of glasses as me beer chills. :luvbed:

God bless bacon butties, Bob Marley and Stella.

Where would we be without them?

God bless bacon butties, Bob Marley and Stella.

Where would we be without them?

In psychiatric institutions suffering from severe depression, that's where.

Or a world ruled by Super_****eweight.

In psychiatric institutes suffering from severe depression, that's where.

Or a world ruled by Super_****eweight.

It's a scary thought so it is laddie. Imagine if Super ****eweight ruled the world, he'd be getting us all up at 6 in the cunting morning to either pray or do some bloody exercise. Sod that for a game of jammy dodgers!

It's a scary thought so it is laddie. Imagine if Super ****eweight ruled the world, he'd be getting us all up at 6 in the cunting morning to either pray or do some bloody exercise. Sod that for a game of jammy dodgers!

We'd be lone freedom fighters, drinking stella and making molotov ****tails out of the empties, to use in our war against his oppressive cuntin' regime.

We'd be hard to catch though, because if he put wanted posters of us up around cities, a huge group would soon flock around to worship them and what does that lead to?

Spunk stained city centers, that's what. And that's not the image a vindictive-bible bashing regime wants.

I wonder if geriatric sailor was headed for India and sailed off the edge of the world.

We'd be lone freedom fighters, drinking stella and making molotov ****tails out of the empties, to use in our war against his oppressive cuntin' regime.

We'd be hard to catch though, because if he put wanted posters of us up around cities, a huge group would soon flock around to worship them and what does that lead to?

Spunk stained city centers, that's what. And that's not the image a vindictive-bible bashing regime wants.

We'd overthrow the evil religious regime of Super ****eweight in no time I reckon. We'd lead a band of merry men (merry because we'd all be pissed up on stella that we'd hidden away from the righteous regime) to fight on the streets, charging the bible bashing enemy with our beef bayonets.

A fatwa would be put on those Christian slags by Alan himself, and OsamaBinNazFan would strike at will, beating the religious leaders of ****eweight's regime to death with a soggy baguette and leaving their bodies in the street, for platinumtwat to sodomise and play with.

Soon the Christians would see the light and join us Alan worshippers, and ****eweight would go on the run, hiding behind the obese frame of his 600 lb girlfriend.



Alan Akbar!

I wonder if geriatric sailor was headed for India and sailed off the edge of the world.

****ing Jack Sparrow kidnapped the cunt and demanded an outrageous ransom for him. I told the Sparrow cunt to do one, and sadly, our mate the geriatric sailor hasn't been seen since.

R.I.P

You drinking tonight, darling?

R.I.P

You drinking tonight, darling?

On me third can of the glorious Belgian export me dear.

I've got a wee bit of vodka for later on, when the cans run out.

On me third can of the glorious Belgian export me dear.

I've got a wee bit of vodka for later on, when the cans run out.

Always thinking ahead, eh? no wonder you're a Chess Master. :luvbed:

Always thinking ahead, eh? no wonder you're a Chess Master. :luvbed:

I've come to the conclusion that you've gotta know where yer next beverage is coming from. Yer can't be running round from one beverage to the next, expecting the beers to materialise out of cunting nowhere.

I'm stockpiling so I am. The Ruskies in the past stockpiles nukes, the yanks stockpiled burgers, the aussies stockpiled get out of jail free cards (stolen from monopoly games), the french stockpiled white flags, and I laddie shall stockpile booze, for booze is what fellas like ourselves need always to have.

I've come to the conclusion that you've gotta know where yer next beverage is coming from. Yer can't be running round from one beverage to the next, expecting the beers to materialise out of cunting nowhere.

I'm stockpiling so I am. The Ruskies in the past stockpiles nukes, the yanks stockpiled burgers, the aussies stockpiled get out of jail free cards (stolen from monopoly games), the french stockpiled white flags, and I laddie shall stockpile booze, for booze is what fellas like ourselves need always to have.

Too cuntin' right.

Too cuntin' right.

Laddie - the pwntender, who do you think is gonna win?

The contestants are:

Mr Green.
2nd to nonce.
Hurricane.
Al CaPWN.

Smokin and Dave have been knocked out and I think two other contestants will join the tournament.

I'd say Al caPwn is favourite with Hurricane a close second.

I don't know what ****ing match Annie and MickeyB were watching, because all i saw was Hurricane battering the **** out of Msa****stain on the ropes - ala - the last 15 seconds of Gatti-Ward round 9.

I cringed at every Ms comeback.

I'd say Al caPwn is favourite with Hurricane a close second.

I don't know what ****ing match Annie and MickeyB were watching, because all i saw was Hurricane battering the **** out of Msa****stain on the ropes - ala - the last 15 seconds of Gatti-Ward round 9.

I cringed at every Ms comeback.

Have a look at my walls is hardly top quality pwnage eh laddie. Now if I was Hurricane I would have said that Mr Green has obviously bonded with the bricks, as he's just as ****ing thick as them, so they've got the common ground there.

Have a look at my walls is hardly top quality pwnage eh laddie. Now if I was Hurricane I would have said that Mr Green has obviously bonded with the bricks, as he's just as ****ing thick as them, so they've got the common ground there.

Now that is good pwnage.

So what happens to the winner then? does he move onto the big league or is it just some TV appearances and a poorly written Biography?

Now that is good pwnage.

So what happens to the winner then? does he move onto the big league or is it just some TV appearances and a poorly written Biography?

The winner gets 100k and a shot at the real title.

I should have sent an alt in to the tourny in disguise, won the tourny, took the 100k then set me alt up against this main hoff account and pwned me alt something silly, thereby cemented me status as a champion of the dome. Alas, me forward thinking seems only to apply to alcohol and chess these days, and I only just came up with this plan now, when it is too late :(

You could still make it happen.

Make an alt, go on a prolific 1-day posting spree and then attempt to enter the tournament.

Make it so, my love.

Hoff, i've been pissed up for the last few days and haven't been keeping track of the footy - any worthwhile games on today?

You could still make it happen.

Make an alt, go on a prolific 1-day posting spree and then attempt to enter the tournament.

Make it so, my love.

Hoff, i've been pissed up for the last few days and haven't been keeping track of the footy - any worthwhile games on today?
The only premier league game today is the mighty Villa vs. Blackburn. If we win we go 4th.

The rest are all FA CUP, the highlights probably being Arsenal vs Newcastle, Liverpool vs Havant, Wigan vs Chelsea.

It's not all that great, but should be a good day for us claret and blue fellas...and lets hope theres a shock or two in the FA cup, maybe wigan beating chelsea or havant scoring first and holding onto the lead for a good 40 minutes (we cant expect them to beat the scousers now can we).

Mansfield play Middlesborough an all, if Middlesborough lost it'd be quite a giraffe.

Is the Villa game on telly?

Is the Villa game on telly?

It might be on sky, I'm not sure.

Let's hope so.

I enjoy Villa's style of football.

Would you fellas take JuyJuy to be your heavenly bride?

Awright Darkies, what's up?

Just ordered 3 pizzas from Pizza Hut for £15.

Bargain.

Just ordered 3 pizzas from Pizza Hut for £15.

Bargain.

I've never been a pizza fan, Laddie. Whats the attraction for yer?

I've never been a pizza fan, Laddie. Whats the attraction for yer?

What's not the attraction is a better question, methinks.

The soft succulent base covered in rich creamy tomato sauce, melted cheese that manifests in your mouth, and evolves into sexually salivated pieces of heaven - toppings of your choice, lots of 'em, like all the colours of the rainbow.

And 3 for £15 cuntin' pound sterling..... fantastic.

What's not the attraction is a better question, methinks.

The soft succulent base covered in rich creamy tomato sauce, melted cheese that manifests in your mouth, and evolves into sexually salivated pieces of heaven - toppings of your choice, lots of 'em, like all the colours of the rainbow.

And 3 for £15 cuntin' pound sterling..... fantastic.

I think my everlasting dislike for cheese might have somthing to do with it, babes.
Not that I will prey on those who partake of the Italian cuisine, I will just sit on the sidelines with a hot curry and pint of stella, so I will.

I think my everlasting dislike for cheese might have somthing to do with it, babes.
Not that I will prey on those who partake of the Italian cuisine, I will just sit on the sidelines with a hot curry and pint of stella, so I will.

I used to hate cheese as a young lad, but i adore it now.

I used to hate cheese as a young lad, but i adore it now.

I used to adore cheese during me junior years. A bad experience turned me hostile.
Perish the thought if such an experience turned me against stella. I'd put a bleedin gun to me head, so I would.

I used to adore cheese during me junior years. A bad experience turned me hostile.
Perish the thought if such an experience turned me against stella. I'd put a bleedin gun to me head, so I would.

Details, darling.

So i can avoid such a fate.

Details, darling.

So i can avoid such a fate.

I can't, me lover. The experience still moves me to tears. Perhaps one day I'll be ready to open up but for now all I can do is drink and try to forget.

I can't, me lover. The experience still moves me to tears. Perhaps one day I'll be ready to open up but for now all I can do is drink and try to forget.

I understand, babes.

What's your poison tonight?

I understand, babes.

What's your poison tonight?


Just a half bottle of Jack D, babes. Too skint to buy anymore stella.

Just a half bottle of Jack D, babes. Too skint to buy anymore stella.

I've had a few glasses of whisky and some cans. I'm off to a party tonight.... wish me luck, darling.

Let's hope Laddie scores.

I've had a few glasses of whisky and some cans. I'm off to a party tonight.... wish me luck, darling.

Let's hope Laddie scores.

Make the stinger proud, babes :kiss:

Make the stinger proud, babes :kiss:

I'll be thinking of you if i do.

I'll be thinking of you if i do.

Naturally :luvbed:

Well, that was a cuntin' let down.

Well, that was a cuntin' let down.

Sorry to hear that, babes. Let southpaw make it all better :luvbed:

It was ****, babes. Possibly the worst party of all time.

Full of arseholes and birds that thought their **** smelled sweeter than most.

It was ****, babes. Possibly the worst party of all time.

Full of arseholes and birds that thought their **** smelled sweeter than most.

Have a drink, babes and try to put it all behind you.

Have a drink, babes and try to put it all behind you.

I'm on me 5th can of the day. :luvbed:

I can always rely on me lager.

I'm on me 5th can of the day. :luvbed:

I can always rely on me lager.

Good boy, Laddie.


I'm going out now to stock up for tonight. I can't afford it but meh. Alan's sweet nector keeps me going so it does.

Think of me as you put those cases in the trolly.

Think of me as you put those cases in the trolly.


A stella evening, Laddie.

:beerchug:

Love it, babes.

I forgot to pick up a curry on me way home.

Life can kick you in the balls sometimes, so it can.

There's still time.

Give 'em a call.

There's still time.

Give 'em a call.

Yer right, lifes too short to miss a curry. I'll get on the blower to them now.

Was it scrumptious, darling?

Was it scrumptious, darling?

Twas indeed, me lover. Got quite a lot of free poppadums as well, the generous fellas.

Glad to hear it.

Glad to hear it.

Where's our sexy Hoff? Is you're trousersnake missing him as much as mine is?

I'm missing him terribly.

I need a big strong cup of Hoffee.

I'm missing him terribly.

I need a big strong cup of Hoffee.

Are you in the know of his whereabouts, or should I release the dogs on a search party?

Let the hounds go, my love.

Let the hounds go, my love.

Cry havoc and let slip the dogs of war.

Bleedin eck' I'm in a funny mood today, Laddie. I need a drink.

Did you have that drink?

Did you have that drink?

I'm still having it, Laddie.

Bonjourno, bum boys.

Me new internet service has finally been installed and i'll be on 24/7 from now on.

Let's get Lang rolling again.

Bonjourno, bum boys.

Me new internet service has finally been installed and i'll be on 24/7 from now on.

Let's get Lang rolling again.


My internet's going to ****s, Laddie. Me trousersnake's not giving up the fight though, so it isn't. I'm up for some fun :luvbed:

I've drank TWICE in the past 4 months and I have NO idea when the last time I had a Stella was!!

Am I going soft??

That you are, Tugs.

I've drank TWICE in the past 4 months and I have NO idea when the last time I had a Stella was!!

Am I going soft??

you are indeed tuggs, sort it out mate :nonono:

That you are, Tugs.

you are indeed tuggs, sort it out mate :nonono:

I just can't be arsed drinking anymore. It's ****ing boring.

On another note...

That rosie bird off corrie has amazing tats

Hoff, i'm almost finished book 8 in the Rebus series: Black and Blue.

How very dare that little UPSTART try and steal all the glory that was bequeathed upon Glasgow's most beloved son, Bible John.

What a cunt.

I saw the TV series with John Hannah and one the episodes was based on this book, so i basically know what happens. Which is a pisser.

Hoff, i'm almost finished book 8 in the Rebus series: Black and Blue.

How very dare that little UPSTART try and steal all the glory that was bequeathed upon Glasgow's most beloved son, Bible John.

What a cunt.

I saw the TV series with John Hannah and one the episodes was based on this book, so i basically know what happens. Which is a pisser.

What a cunt indeed. I'd like to drown the cunt in me bathroom toilet then flush him to infinity and beyond.

You're getting through them quick, eh laddie. Bloody addictive so they are.

The Rebus novels > Crack.

I'm liking Rebus more and more as he slowly becomes a full blown alcoholic and when people tell him to get help he tells them to **** off and do one.

Rebus knows what's what - A bacon sarnie, a bottle of whisky and the Stones on the Hi-Fi.

:notworthy

The Rebus novels > Crack.

I'm liking Rebus more and more as he slowly becomes a full blown alcoholic and when people tell him to get help he tells them to **** off and do one.

Rebus knows what's what - A bacon sarnie, a bottle of whisky and the Stones on the Hi-Fi.

:notworthy

When it comes time to worship the Gods, then Rebus is almost on Frank's level, is he not? ****ing legend and no cunting mistake about it.

He's almost on Frank's level, but not quite. He needs to start popping E's and bumming it on the dole whilst slapping Big Ger cafferty about.

He's almost on Frank's level, but not quite. He needs to start popping E's and bumming it on the dole whilst slapping Big Ger cafferty about.

Now that would be some cunting novel, and would make a much better telly series than that one John Hannah is in.

Big Ger's a top villain though. I reckon he'd kick **** out of Goldfinger and Dr Evil.

Aye, anyone who mocks Rebus by referring to him as strawman knows no fear.

Aye, anyone who mocks Rebus by referring to him as strawman knows no fear.

Has he got the nads to read all of Mr. Green's posts one after the other though?

Is he that brave and immune to sleep inducing ramblings that he could do it? What d'you think laddie?

Even Evil Knievel wouldn't have dared it.

Even The psychotic and suicidal Martin Riggs would have took a look and said **** that. I'll put a bullet in me brain, but i ain't ****ing reading that ****e.

Even Evil Knievel wouldn't have dared it.

Even The psychotic and suicidal Martin Riggs would have took a look and said **** that. I'll put a bullet in me brain, but i ain't ****ing reading that ****e.

Imagine that. When faced with the prospect of jumping over **** loads of london buses at wembley stadium or shooting over that big bastard river and facing possible death, the man didn't blink...but put in front of Mr Green's back catalogue of babble and the fella would **** his Y fronts and run off faster than Welter chasing a five year old down the street.

And Riggs, the man threw himself off a cunting building and went up against south african slags who possessed some handy martial arts skills and a nice sideline in shooting cunts in the left buttock - even he wasn't up to the task.

That Mr Green can intimidate any cunt with his illiterate ramblings. Fair play to him.

He's like kryptonite to the avid reader.

He's like kryptonite to the avid reader.

In-shagging-deed.

I'm watching a program on the box about OAP's that are skint. It's quite depressing so it is. If I was Col Blake I might make a thread complaining about the bleeding state of our nation and blame those pissing muslims, but I won't. I'll have a wee butchers at what else is on.

Aye, the idiot box is **** tonight.

I'm flicking through the sport channels and the history/discovery channels in the hope that something cuntin' decent comes on.

you know, i was so bored the other day that i watched Armageddon with Ben Cuntin' Affleck.

I had to take a cold shower afterwards.

Seeing me two favourite bum boys banter back and forth really brings a smile to me trousersnake, so it does. I'm sipping me stella with pride tonight lads.

Aye, the idiot box is **** tonight.

I'm flicking through the sport channels and the history/discovery channels in the hope that something cuntin' decent comes on.

you know, i was so bored the other day that i watched Armageddon with Ben Cuntin' Affleck.

I had to take a cold shower afterwards.

**** film aint it laddie.

I've switched over from them bleeding old codgers. All that moaning about them not being able to afford food or the leccy really got on me tits. Wrap up warm and order a pizza, then headbutt the delivery fella when he arrives, that's what they wanna do.

Seeing me two favourite bum boys banter back and forth really brings a smile to me trousersnake, so it does. I'm sipping me stella with pride tonight lads.

I believe yer one eyed trousersnake just winked at me Southpaw.

Alan bless us all.

Me little cousin and his cronies used to order pizza and lie in wait and when the delivery geezer showed up at the given address, they would pounce on him from their hiding spots, beat him up and steal his pizzas and his moped.

Little scamps, eh.

Me little cousin and his cronies used to order pizza and lie in wait and when the delivery geezer showed up at the given address, they would pounce on him from their hiding spots, beat him up and steal his pizzas and his moped.

Little scamps, eh.

It's the ****in way to do it though eh Laddie. I mean why can't these old farts all gang up and do the same. One could do a hit and run on the delivery fella in their electric wheelchair, while another whacks him with a walking stick while another wee bent over all lady dashed off on her zimmer frame with the pizza.

It's a plan so it is.