I love all of you limey bastards!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! :luvbed:












That is all. :D

damn, i thought i had the 17,000th post :(

Fiesty, it's about time you moved to Limey land and became an honourary Limey.

Fiesty, it's about time you moved to Limey land and became an honourary Limey.


The initiation ceremony is tough and very sexual you know.

The initiation ceremony is tough and very sexual you know.

She's a tough gal, i'm sure she could handle it.

She's a tough gal, i'm sure she could handle it.

Indeed, the Hoff and I made alterations to the initiaition scheme to ensure that typical fat yanks are unable to pass. But the yanks with a limey soul should breeze through like a dove flying through the air on a summers day.

Indeed, the Hoff and I made alterations to the initiaition scheme to ensure that typical fat yanks are unable to pass. But the yanks with a limey soul should breeze through like a dove flying through the air on a summers day.

Kayjay and buddy should come over and live in limeyland as they have the heart of a limey bum boy so they have.

Laddie and southpaw, I'm a wee bit pissed, come and take advantage my darlings :luvbed:

Kayjay and buddy should come over and live in limeyland as they have the heart of a limey bum boy so they have.

Laddie and southpaw, I'm a wee bit pissed, come and take advantage my darlings :luvbed:

Lay back, my darlin'. Let my magic fingers work your joints.

Lay back, my darlin'. Let my magic fingers work your joints.

The joints can wait for now me darling, it's the love serpent that needs attention.

Make him slither and writhe, he'd like that laddie.

Let me tend to your needs, babes :luvbed:

The joints can wait for now me darling, it's the love serpent that needs attention.

Make him slither and writhe, he'd like that laddie.

He's a wily one tonight but i shall subdue him.

He's a wily one tonight but i shall subdue him.

Runwithknives could try and make him tap out but he wouldn't give in. Only you can force yourself upon him and make him bend to your willpower.

Runwithknives could try and make him tap out but he wouldn't give in. Only you can force yourself upon him and make him bend to your willpower.

My famous crab squat always seems to transfix him and he remains frozen as i sit on top of him.

My famous crab squat always seems to transfix him and he remains frozen as i sit on top of him.

My beef bayonet is a warrior so he is, when put up against the crab squat attack he just keeps thrusting. You've gotta give it to the fella, he keeps on going when many think he's done for.

My beef bayonet is a warrior so he is, when put up against the crab squat attack he just keeps thrusting. You've gotta give it to the fella, he keeps on going when many think he's done for.

Your beef bayonet > The Duracell Bunny.

Your beef bayonet > The Duracell Bunny.

My beef bayonet > exiges left hook.

That's how highly rated me beef bayonet is.

My beef bayonet > exiges left hook.

That's how highly rated me beef bayonet is.

It's been top of the division for 10 years now and it doesn't look like shifting.

It's been top of the division for 10 years now and it doesn't look like shifting.

The only chance for it's eager contenders if is he retires undefeated and they get a chance to fight for his belt.

Laddie, one must sleep now, so I shall say goodnight.

Shag yer late me darling :luvbed:

Who is Dave brown???

The only chance for it's eager contenders if is he retires undefeated and they get a chance to fight for his belt.

Laddie, one must sleep now, so I shall say goodnight.

Shag yer late me darling :luvbed:

sleep well babes. :luvbed:

just dropping a line to say that lewis hamilton is one helluva driver... and he's a limey...

I gotta work today...its so hard making £142.80 for a 12hr shift :rolleyes:

I gotta work today...its so hard making £142.80 for a 12hr shift :rolleyes:

I thought rent boys got paid better than that. You deserve a pay rise sn1gger.

I thought rent boys got paid better than that. You deserve a pay rise sn1gger.

TheHoff edited my post

Can you pay me more next time?

I'll think about it sn1gger.

they made a ****tard like you admin of this lounge ?

well thats the last time i post here.

they made a ****tard like you admin of this lounge ?

well thats the last time i post here.

Goodbye.....................

they made a ****tard like you admin of this lounge ?

well thats the last time i post here.

Log off and go and kill yourself **** dick!

Log off and go and kill yourself **** dick!

That's some good advice Tuggers. Ever considered being an agony aunt? I reckon you'd do a bloody fine job.

hello limeys.:)

That's some good advice Tuggers. Ever considered being an agony aunt? I reckon you'd be a bloody fine job.

I aint got time for that. Being a top secret hitman is quite demanding you see :boxing:

hello limeys.:)

Well Hello there

Well Hello there

how's it going.:)

I aint got time for that. Being a top secret hitman is quite demanding you see :boxing:

Fair enough son. I've actually got a job for a fella like you. Last night I dropped a bollock and 2nd to none snatched it away before I could retrieve it. Do you reckon you could get it back for me?

If you have to then take 2nd out. A head shot should be pretty easy, given that his bonce is cunting massive so it is.

how's it going.:)

All good. Ive just got in from the gym. You should come and give me a massage lol :D

Fair enough son. I've actually got a job for a fella like you. Last night I dropped a bollock and 2nd to none snatched it away before I could retrieve it. Do you reckon you could get it back for me?

If you have to then take 2nd out. A head shot should be pretty easy, given that his bonce is cunting massive so it is.

Hahaha, im sure this bollock you dropped has already been retrieved and is already in laddies mouth, but if not i will be sure to get it back to you soon ;)

Hahaha, im sure this bollock you dropped has already been retrieved and is already in laddies mouth, but if not i will be sure to get it back to you soon ;)

Cheers Tuggers, you're a star so you are :luvbed:

All good. Ive just got in from the gym. You should come and give me a massage lol :D

i'm sure you'd like that.:)

whats up everybody? i missed all you guys, am i too late for the bum fun?

whats up everybody? i missed all you guys, am i too late for the bum fun?

Its never too late for bum fun boyo. You should know that by now. Now get your pants down!

Southpaw, caress me, undress me and molest me.

they aint gonna free 2tough with his full rep points and karma powers. :(

Southpaw, caress me, undress me and molest me.


come ere laddie, let me fondle you :luvbed:

Is this muscle or flab? No it's definatly muscle padded with vindaloo and joined with beer. i'm lucky I'm not in Yank land as some 11 year old kid could mistake me for a big juicy delicacy.

i am back my loves and ready for some bum fun

i am back my loves and ready for some bum fun

Bend over Dye.... I'm coming in.

Bend over Dye.... I'm coming in.

:love: :love: :love:

i am having urges to find myself a fine ginge women to perfom strange sexual acts for me. and maybe one to date aswell.

i am having urges to find myself a fine ginge women to perfom strange sexual acts for me. and maybe one to date aswell.

Don't give in to the Ginge side, Dye and the force shall be with you.

Don't give in to the Ginge side, Dye and the force shall be with you.

a few weeks back one caught my eye, so beautiful she was:love:

a few weeks back one caught my eye, so beautiful she was:love:

That's all part of their ploy. You don't want to catch gingervitis do you, son?

Gingervitis > Teh aids.

That's all part of their ploy. You don't want to catch gingervitis do you, son?

Gingervitis > Teh aids.

i ate out a Ginge once:la: , i have gone down on 2 women in my 15 years, one a Ginge and the other a Blonde, i am afriad i already have the gingervitis, tis too late for me Laddie:(

i ate out a Ginge once:la: , i have gone down on 2 women in my 15 years, one a Ginge and the other a Blonde, i am afriad i already have the gingervitis, tis too late for me Laddie:(

All you can do now is repent and hope Allah lets you past the pearly gates.

All you can do now is repent and hope Allah lets you past the pearly gates.

praise be to Allah:hail:

I was sweating like a pregnant nun last night, hardly got any sleep.


Laddie, why did the slave die from lung cancer?

I was sweating like a pregnant nun last night, hardly got any sleep.


Laddie, why did the slave die from lung cancer?

I have no idea.

Why did the slave die from lung cancer?

I have no idea.

Why did the slave die from lung cancer?


He was a chain smoker.... :kiss:

i just got back from the Clinic, i have teh Gingervitis, tis too late for me, learn from my mistakes, Dye loves you

Anyone know where Raging Bull is?

He was a chain smoker.... :kiss:

Hee hee..... tis' a good one, Southpaw.

Evening bum boys.

Evening bum boys.


are you attached to laddie at this particular moment? I think it is my turn take him tonight :luvbed:

are you attached to laddie at this particular moment? I think it is my turn take him tonight :luvbed:

I havent had a good session with Laddie for a while actually southpaw me darling. If you happen to see the sexy shag monkey then maybe we could share him tonight.

It's only fair.

I havent had a good session with Laddie for a while actually southpaw me darling. If you happen to see the sexy shag monkey then maybe we could share him tonight.

It's only fair.


That's the right thing to do so it is. I think we deserve a good night in with the scottish stud :hitit:

That's the right thing to do so it is. I think we deserve a good night in with the scottish stud :hitit:

Us, beer, bum love, and good ol' allah watching over us. That's what we need.

I'm here my loves.

I'm feeling a bit rough around the edges so go easy on me, darlings.

I'm here my loves.

I'm feeling a bit rough around the edges so go easy on me, darlings.

We'll be gentle at first, then when you get warmed up we'll crank it up and really let you feel the power of our pulsating pork swords.

We'll be gentle at first, then when you get warmed up we'll crank it up and really let you feel the power of our pulsating pork swords.

It's been too long, babes. I can't wait.

It's been too long, babes. I can't wait.

Aye, it has been too bleeding long. Me balls are so full of David Seaman just waiting to greet yer, they've swelled so much they are almost as big as 2nd's.

Aye, it has been too bleeding long. Me balls are so full of David Seaman just waiting to greet yer, they've swelled so much they are almost as big as 2nd's.

I'd better wear me swimming goggles then.

I'd better wear me swimming goggles then.

Stick those tight speedo's of yours on as well.

Stick those tight speedo's of yours on as well.

Will do but they will be hungrily ripped off within seconds.

Will do but they will be hungrily ripped off within seconds.

Lets go skinnydipping laddie. If we get into trouble maybe the geriatric sailor will come and save us.

Did you get all your swimming badges at school me darling; red, blue, purple and them?

I've been waiting bleedin long for this, babes.

Tuck in southpaw, there's enough for everybody.

Lets go skinnydipping laddie. If we get into trouble maybe the geriatric sailor will come and save us.

Did you get all your swimming badges at school me darling; red, blue, purple and them?

I'm a master swimmer, babes.

Me > sharks

Tuck in southpaw, there's enough for everybody.


I can be greedy sometimes babes, I'm sure you remember that :kiss:

I'm a master swimmer, babes.

Me > sharks
Jaws would cower when confronted with your pork sword laddie.
I can be greedy sometimes babes, I'm sure you remember that :kiss:
Good show Southpaw me darling. Me and laddie are doing a special tonight, all you can eat for one hit of karma.

I know you've got a voracious appetite so we'll keep serving well into the night.

I take my hat off to you and my trousers down for you, Bum boys.

I take my hat off to you and my trousers down for you, Bum boys.


Laddie, in the words of Blackadder; Life without you is like a broken pencil..... pointless. :luvbed:

Laddie, in the words of Blackadder; Life without you is like a broken pencil..... pointless. :luvbed:

True words have never been uttered.

That quote > A Kingdosia quote.

What's new then my old limey mates?

What came first, the chicken or the chicken vindaloo with rice and a lager?

Ayh up guys.

Anything been happening?

Ayh up guys.

Anything been happening?

Obviously not pal!

This place hasn't seen some bum fun for quite some time.. :nonono:

This place hasn't seen some bum fun for quite some time.. :nonono:

It's lonely without the Hoff's beef bayonet and his unique brand of humor.

It's lonely without the Hoff's beef bayonet and his unique brand of humor.

Indeed babes, he will be back soon though so have no fear.

Can you give us a hand washing all this bull **** out from between me toes? :bad:

Indeed babes, he will be back soon though so have no fear.

Can you give us a hand washing all this bull **** out from between me toes? :bad:

Wait there and let me put a peg on me nose.... it's quite a stench.

Wait there and let me put a peg on me nose.... it's quite a stench.

Well it has come from a yanks mouth laddie, so I reccomend you take all the safety precautions you see nessicery.

Whats happened guy's?

I have been in the States, the place seems to have died?

Whats happened guy's?

I have been in the States, the place seems to have died?

How was it mate? any foo's try to pop a cap in your azz?

Did any of me bum boys see the fight?

Did any of me bum boys see the fight?

that i did and it was sexalicious. I'm glad i stayed up into the wee hours, babe.

that i did and it was sexalicious. I'm glad i stayed up into the wee hours, babe.

twas a right good body shot, wasn't it babes? Nearly spilled me pint when it landed.

twas a right good body shot, wasn't it babes? Nearly spilled me pint when it landed.

Me an' all. Hatton outboxed Castillo ( Like i said he would ) for 4 rounds and then became the only man to ever legitimately stop him, but yet the f.ags with hidden agendas pop out and attempt to discredit him in their own illiterate way.

Me an' all. Hatton outboxed Castillo ( Like i said he would ) for 4 rounds and then became the only man to ever legitimately stop him, but yet the f.ags with hidden agendas pop out and attempt to discredit him in their own illiterate way.

Yes there were a few last minute posts of guys predicting a castillo KO. But we all knew that after Hatton wins (and he was going to from the start) that the hater would emerge with a list of ready made excuses. Past his prime, old, voodoo - you name they'll say it.

Yes there were a few last minute posts of guys predicting a castillo KO. But we all knew that after Hatton wins (and he was going to from the start) that the hater would emerge with a list of ready made excuses. Past his prime, old, voodoo - you name they'll say it.

Exactly.

The Fonz > NSB.

Exactly.

The Fonz > NSB.

Aaaaaayyyyy! you got that right, babes :luvbed:

Aaaaaayyyyy! you got that right, babes :luvbed:

Has the Fonz just snorted another MT long line in that pic, and decided to lick the rest up?

Afternoon fellas. I've ****in come back so I have.

Is all well with me bum boys?

Has the Fonz just snorted another MT long line in that pic, and decided to lick the rest up?

The Hoffs loves juice is always a fine delicacy, babes.

Afternoon fellas. I've ****in come back so I have.

Is all well with me bum boys?


Let me give you you're welcome home present :luvbed:

How was it mate? any foo's try to pop a cap in your azz?

Yeah met 'lowsa foo's' mate!

Nah not really I was in Ohio on a business trip, boring as **** really!

Did any of me bum boys see the fight?

that i did and it was sexalicious. I'm glad i stayed up into the wee hours, babe.

Oh yeah, glad to see old Fatman back on form, I missed him so I have!!!

Also glad to see that many of those fat yanks still cannot bring themselves to praise our boy, but I say **** them!

Let me give you you're welcome home present :luvbed:

Your sig is giving me the horn Southpaw me darling.

I found a pic of the hoff and the fonz together a while back and meant to pm it to you. I'm right pissed off that I forgot about it cause now I cant find it :(

Take advantage of me my darling :luvbed:

Your sig is giving me the horn Southpaw me darling.

I found a pic of the hoff and the fonz together a while back and meant to pm it to you. I'm right pissed off that I forgot about it cause now I cant find it :(

Take advantage of me my darling :luvbed:

come ere' babes, I've been building this up for a week so I have :luvbed:

Is this the real Hoff?

Is this the real Hoff?


It cunting felt like the real deal, otherwise I have just wasted a weeks worth of juice. :puppy_dog

I am the ****in real deal, aka the man with the pulsating beef bayonet who'll bum yer soon as look at yer.

Laddie, I've heard that youse lot are interested in buying a player named 'Fanny'. Now he'd be a good bloody signing so he would, imagine the chants you could make up about him eh...

Southpaw, your David Seaman was not wasted on me darlin' :luvbed:

I am the ****in real deal, aka the man with the pulsating beef bayonet who'll bum yer soon as look at yer.

Laddie, I've heard that youse lot are interested in buying a player named 'Fanny'. Now he'd be a good bloody signing so he would, imagine the chants you could make up about him eh...

Southpaw, your David Seaman was not wasted on me darlin' :luvbed:

Bleedin glad to hear it, babes. Why did ya give Dye yer sexy password in the first place? Ain't he got enough accounts?

Bleedin glad to hear it, babes. Why did ya give Dye yer sexy password in the first place? Ain't he got enough accounts?

The lad pm'd me nude pics of Heather.

A favour for a favour eh...

How are things, Hoffy my darling?

The lad pm'd me nude pics of Heather.

A favour for a favour eh...

That is more than a favour babes, he owns your trouser snake for six months.

How are things, Hoffy my darling?

I'm generally doing cunting well so I am, but me neck is hurting me so it is. I was at a party saturday and they had a bouncy castle which i went on when i was pissed up. It was a good laugh but I still feel sore from going on it.


How are you darling?

That is more than a favour babes, he owns your trouser snake for six months.

Aye, he's promised me that he'll still give you access to it whenever you like though. Nothing will change southpaw me lover, don't you worry :luvbed:

I'm generally doing cunting well so I am, but me neck is hurting me so it is. I was at a party saturday and they had a bouncy castle which i went on when i was pissed up. It was a good laugh but I still feel sore from going on it.


How are you darling?

Happier than Morrisey after a midnight gobble. I won 78K on the Hatton fight and put the fear of god into those Pinoys with my bulging e-bank balance.

Happier than Morrisey after a midnight gobble. I won 78K on the Hatton fight and put the fear of god into those Pinoys with my bulging e-bank balance.

****in good show laddie, I only won 55k on the Hatton fight but I'm still pleased. We'll soon get all our millions back and be buying custom pwnage avatars for cunts left, right and center.

I'm reading the interpretation of murder now laddie. I cunting like it so I do.

Did yer see me song that I wrote yesterday?

****in good show laddie, I only won 55k on the Hatton fight but I'm still pleased. We'll soon get all our millions back and be buying custom pwnage avatars for cunts left, right and center.

I'm reading the interpretation of murder now laddie. I cunting like it so I do.

Did yer see me song that I wrote yesterday?

I missed it, babes. Link?

I missed it, babes. Link?

http://www.boxingscene.com/forums/showthread.php?t=127048

I was missing you sexy bum boys.

http://www.boxingscene.com/forums/showthread.php?t=127048

I was missing you sexy bum boys.

Classic, I have tried to leave the scene meself and the longest i lasted was about 4 days.

It's ****in' hard going i tell thee.

The scene > smack.

I missed it, babes. Link?


It was a cunting master peice so it was.

Classic, I have tried to leave the scene meself and the longest i lasted was about 4 days.

It's ****in' hard going i tell thee.

The scene > smack.

After three days I was sweating like Matt in a prenatal class so I was.

After three days I was sweating like Matt in a prenatal class so I was.

We should write a script based on our experiences and send it off to Addison.

"My name is Hoff" is a harrowing gritty drama about an ex-sceneaholic dealing with life after Boxingscene.

He finds it hard going without his daily dose of Smokin' claiming he pulled all the *****es in a club but refused to shag them as they were all hefters.

He gets involved with some criminal types from ESB and it culminates in the death of his one true love - Laddie.

We should write a script based on our experiences and send it off to Addison.

"My name is Hoff" is a harrowing gritty drama about an ex-sceneaholic dealing with life after Boxingscene.

He finds it hard going without his daily dose of Smokin' claiming he pulled all the *****es in a club but refused to shag them as they were all hefters.

He gets involved with some criminal types from ESB and it culminates in the death of his one true love - Laddie.

The casting would need to to be right though laddie. None of this hollywood malarkey of giving the parts to big a-list names just to sell the movie. If ****ing Tom Cruise gets the part of the banter zombie I'll go cunting mad laddie. The role just dont suit him.

We'd have to have a happy ending though darling, we couldn't kill you off. No bleeding chance...or maybe if you did perish at the hands of enraged ESB'ers then a sequel would be in order, where we raise you from the dead (prising you away from our Saddam) to once again enjoy the delights of bum love that myself and Southpaw can offer.

I've already got an actor in mind for the part of Exige:

http://imagecache2.allposters.com/images/pic/ADVG/390~Mini-Me-Goldmember-Posters.jpg

The casting would need to to be right though laddie. None of this hollywood malarkey of giving the parts to big a-list names just to sell the movie. If ****ing Tom Cruise gets the part of the banter zombie I'll go cunting mad laddie. The role just dont suit him.

We'd have to have a happy ending though darling, we couldn't kill you off. No bleeding chance...or maybe if you did perish at the hands of enraged ESB'ers then a sequel would be in order, where we raise you from the dead (prising you away from our Saddam) to once again enjoy the delights of bum love that myself and Southpaw can offer.

I've already got an actor in mind for the part of Exige:

http://imagecache2.allposters.com/images/pic/ADVG/390~Mini-Me-Goldmember-Posters.jpg

A nice bit of casting there, babes.

I smell a franchise in the works.

A nice bit of casting there, babes.

I smell a franchise in the works.

Oscars are a sure thing me darling. How about Eddie Murphy up for best supporting actor for his part as Jack the ******.

My name is Hoff > Die Hard.

Shag yer later :luvbed: > yippykayay mother****er!

Oscars are a sure thing me darling. How about Eddie Murphy up for best supporting actor for his part as Jack the ******.

My name is Hoff > Die Hard.

Shag yer later :luvbed: > yippykayay mother****er!

I don't think Eddie's got the range to play jack. He is similar in size though.

Shag yer later will become the greatest catchphrase of all time and be printed on billions of t-shirts worldwide.

I don't think Eddie's got the range to play jack. He is similar in size though.

Shag yer later will become the greatest catchphrase of all time and be printed on billions of t-shirts worldwide.

Young children will watch the film, then afterwards their mothers will ask them "How did you like the film son?" and their answer will be "I really cunting enjoyed it so I did".

Bring it on shag monkeys!

Young children will watch the film, then afterwards their mothers will ask them "How did you like the film son?" and their answer will be "I really cunting enjoyed it so I did".

Bring it on shag monkeys!

What a world it would be.

Utopia, here us bum boys come.... brace yourself.

What a world it would be.

Utopia, here us bum boys come.... brace yourself.

Utopia is shivering in anticipation, just waiting for the day when bum love rules the world.

Our mission will not be complete until every brown eye winks at us in a flirtacious manner, just itching for us make a charge with our beef bayonets. Whoever stands in our way will perish on the end of our pork swords.

Utopia is shivering in anticipation, just waiting for the day when bum love rules the world.

Our mission will not be complete until every brown eye winks at us in a flirtacious manner, just itching for us make a charge with our beef bayonets. Whoever stands in our way will perish on the end of our pork swords.

Viva la revolucion!

Viva la revolucion!

Indeed! Viva la revolucion!

http://www.hoffgallery.com/albums/userpics/10005/chehoff_gif.jpg

Hoffy, my love
Rain falls, like my cum, from above
Onto your sweet golden chest
Where i lay me head down to rest

Southpaw, my love.
I can't resist when push comes to shove
An' you push me past the peak of no return
In the morning me brown eye doesn't half burn

Hoffy, my love
Rain falls, like my cum, from above
Onto your sweet golden chest
Where i lay me head down to rest

Southpaw, my love.
I can't resist when push comes to shove
An' you push me past the peak of no return
In the morning me brown eye doesn't half burn

I am a man of few words...

Laddie, let me give you a prodding :luvbed:

That was beautiful laddie.

When I get home tonight I'm gonna write you a lovely poem :luvbed:

That was beautiful laddie.

When I get home tonight I'm gonna write you a lovely poem :luvbed:

don't forget to get your trouser snake out :hitit:

don't forget to get your trouser snake out :hitit:

The insatiable monster will no doubt be making an appearance, as he loves spending time with you Southpaw me darling :luvbed:

The insatiable monster will no doubt be making an appearance, as he loves spending time with you Southpaw me darling :luvbed:


This is excellent news, so it is. My love serpent was scared stiff at the mere thought of not seeing it tonight.

:kiss:

I shall be free this friday for a bum session, lads.

I shall be free this friday for a bum session, lads.


Very good, babes. Say the word and me trouser snake shall stand to attention and give you a salute.

Very good, babes. Say the word and me trouser snake shall stand to attention and give you a salute.

I'd love for you and the Hoff's trumpets to give me a salute as i walked into the bedroom.

I'd love for you and the Hoff's trumpets to give me a salute as i walked into the bedroom.

It will be more impressive than a bleedin royal coronation so it will. The crowning of laddie and his royal ring. :hitit:

It will be more impressive than a bleedin royal coronation so it will. The crowning of laddie and his royal ring. :hitit:

A day for the nation to rejoice. :luvbed:

A day for the nation to rejoice. :luvbed:


Long Live Laddie, Long Last the hard on, praise be to allah! drinks are on me. :luvbed:

Hello Limey's, i was wondering if i could be accepted?

Hello Limey's, i was wondering if i could be accepted?

Only if you perform the introductory oral sex daily for 6 weeks.

Only if you perform the introductory oral sex daily for 6 weeks.

ok...........

Are you free tonight, Southpaw? i just got me hands on a £30 bottle of French brandy ( For £5 ) and i feel like indulging.

Are you free tonight, Southpaw? i just got me hands on a £30 bottle of French brandy ( For £5 ) and i feel like indulging.


this is yer lucky day, babes. Classy booze and a stocked up southpaw too :luvbed:

this is yer lucky day, babes. Classy booze and a stocked up southpaw too :luvbed:

It isn't exactly the Hoff's special sauce but it will do.

It isn't exactly the Hoff's special sauce but it will do.

If it has French connections then it is a classy drink. Still The Hoff love juice > all other liquids.

If it has French connections then it is a classy drink. Still The Hoff love juice > all other liquids.

Aye, no doubt about that.

I just hope that when i pour it; it doesn't jump out of the glass and run away! you know what them French are like.

Aye, no doubt about that.

I just hope that when i pour it; it doesn't jump out of the glass and run away! you know what them French are like.

I do indeed, laddie. Don't let the ****er surrender it's flavour before you get it down yer throat. Show it who's boss.

I do indeed, laddie. Don't let the ****er surrender it's flavour before you get it down yer throat. Show it who's boss.

I'll rule this flavour with an iron fist.

Me > Stalin.

I'll rule this flavour with an iron fist.

Me > Stalin.

Babes,

you > everyone (cept Henry Winkler and James Randi :luvbed: )

Babes,

you > everyone (cept Henry Winkler and James Randi :luvbed: )

Henry Winkler > Multiple orgasms.

Henry Winkler > Multiple orgasms.

Richard Dawkins > The Pope

A sexy atheist = Multiple orgasms.

A sexy atheist = Multiple orgasms.

you know it makes sense, babes.

Just poppin out to add to me drink supply laddie. Tonight we shall put the bleedin Irish to shame with our drinking skills. :beerchug:

you know it makes sense, babes.

Just poppin out to add to me drink supply laddie. Tonight we shall put the bleedin Irish to shame with our drinking skills. :beerchug:

Damn tootin'.

Here's to science. :beerchug:

Damn tootin'.

Here's to science. :beerchug:

Praise evolution Laddie, I am home and stocked up. :beerchug:

Let's devour and show them Irish how it's done.

Let's devour and show them Irish how it's done.

Bottoms up laddie :beerchug:

**** me.

Sorry, southpaw, my love. I ended up going out with me mates. I'll make up for it this weekend, babes.

**** me.

Sorry, southpaw, my love. I ended up going out with me mates. I'll make up for it this weekend, babes.

no problem babes, I was out cold by 1am anyway :luvbed:

no problem babes, I was out cold by 1am anyway :luvbed:

Good man.

You > the Irish.

Good man.

You > the Irish.


You should have seen me Laddie, I was soakin' the beer up like a sponge so I was.

You should have seen me Laddie, I was soakin' the beer up like a sponge so I was.

You're the nucleus to alcohol's cells.

Southpaw = :luvbed:

After a lengthy absence, I'm back :D

After a lengthy absence, I'm back :D

Welcome back bum boy :luvbed:

After a lengthy absence, I'm back :D


Welcome back fellow turd burglar, you have been muched missed :luvbed:

Thanks guys :P

Long time no see, Raging.

I've missed you, babes.

Long time no see, Raging.

I've missed you, babes.

Yeh I've missed you too Laddie :(

Raging and Southpaw.... caress me.

Raging and Southpaw.... caress me.

You're wish is my command :luvbed:

You're wish is my command :luvbed:

I'm drunk, babes.

Me > the Irish.

I'm drunk, babes.

Me > the Irish.

I've got you just as I want you, babes. :hitit:

I've got you just as I want you, babes. :hitit:

Be gentle.

My anus is still sore from last night.

Be gentle.

My anus is still sore from last night.

I will ease into it slowly, Laddie. Brace yourself :luvbed:

I will ease into it slowly, Laddie. Brace yourself :luvbed:

*Braces anus muscles*

*Braces anus muscles*

Was it good for you, babes?



http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fS3U_AraWfI

It was short but sweet, babes.

Shawshank > The rest.

Where is my Hoffy?

I am here!

The filth are all over brum so they are. Today they stopped me taxi and made me late so they did. ****in shag monkeys!

I am here!

The filth are all over brum so they are. Today they stopped me taxi and made me late so they did. ****in shag monkeys!

We are honoured by you're sexy presence, so we are. :luvbed:

We are honoured by you're sexy presence, so we are. :luvbed:

Nevermind honour and all that malarkey, I want some cunting bum love so I do.

Get to work southpaw, I need your love serpent to slide all over me :luvbed:

Nevermind honour and all that malarkey, I want some cunting bum love so I do.

Get to work southpaw, I need your love serpent to slide all over me :luvbed:

your wish is my command, babes. The trouser snake is ready to strike :luvbed:

your wish is my command, babes. The trouser snake is ready to strike :luvbed:

And a bloody potent trouser snake it is an all. I've often had to suck the poison out.

And a bloody potent trouser snake it is an all. I've often had to suck the poison out.

Only you and Laddie can handle me venom, babes. It has a real kick with it so it does.

:kiss:

Only you and Laddie can handle me venom, babes. It has a real kick with it so it does.

:kiss:

I could down it one and still come back for more me darling, that's how much I love your venemous brew.

I'm off to bed now southpaw me lover.

Shag yer later :luvbed:

I could down it one and still come back for more me darling, that's how much I love your venemous brew.

I'm off to bed now southpaw me lover.

Shag yer later :luvbed:

sleep well, babes. Hopefully laddie shall be waiting :luvbed:

Jesus sufferin' ****! fellow bum boys. All this alcohol and curry intake over the past week has left me a little worse for wear.

I don't regret a single second though. Bring it on!

Jesus sufferin' ****! fellow bum boys. All this alcohol and curry intake over the past week has left me a little worse for wear.

I don't regret a single second though. Bring it on!
hello laddie.

hello laddie.

Does thou want to be entwined in the way of the bum boy?

looooooool

Time to pick it up again :cool:

Hoff, Raging and Southpaw - Caress me please.

Hoff, Raging and Southpaw - Caress me please.

I'm all yours gorgeous

I'm all yours gorgeous

What's happening down your end, Raging?

What's happening down your end, Raging?

Well it's become a life of parties and girls so it's all good ;)

I've had more offers this fortnight than I've had in the last few months and it's a bastard because I'm not single :(

I've been a busy bee, that's why I ain't been on for a while.

How about you?

Hoff, Raging and Southpaw - Caress me please.


My sexy love serpent is heading your way.

Well it's become a life of parties and girls so it's all good ;)

I've had more offers this fortnight than I've had in the last few months and it's a bastard because I'm not single :(

I've been a busy bee, that's why I ain't been on for a while.

How about you?

Not much on this end, i'm afraid. :(

My sexy love serpent is heading your way.

I'm braced.

Not much on this end, i'm afraid. :(

:(

But the summer is nigh so things should start picking up :)

:(

But the summer is nigh so things should start picking up :)

They better.

They better.

You got anythin planned for the summer?

You got anythin planned for the summer?

Nothing big - I'll just go out occasionally with some mates - maybe a bit of camping at Loch Lomond.

My sister is off to T in the Park though.

Nothing big - I'll just go out occasionally with some mates - maybe a bit of camping at Loch Lomond.

My sister is off to T in the Park though.

Sounds good, it's ace going camping and getting steaming.

What's Tin the Park? A concert?

Nothing big - I'll just go out occasionally with some mates - maybe a bit of camping at Loch Lomond.

My sister is off to T in the Park though.

so is mine laddie

Sounds good, it's ace going camping and getting steaming.

What's Tin the Park? A concert?

The best festival in Britain.

http://www.tinthepark.com/

so is mine laddie

Lucky bastards.

The best festival in Britain.

http://www.tinthepark.com/

Oh right.

Looks good. How come you're not going?

Oh right.

Looks good. How come you're not going?

Couldn't get tickets, sadly.

Couldn't get tickets, sadly.

Oh, well there's always next year.

You doin anythin tonight?

Oh, well there's always next year.

You doin anythin tonight?

No plans yet... as such. I'm drunk right now so i will probably crash out and miss all the fun.


PS: I am watching the "Shawshank Redemption"right now. :luvbed:

No plans yet... as such. I'm drunk right now so i will probably crash out and miss all the fun.


PS: I am watching the "Shawshank Redemption"right now. :luvbed:

Wish I could have a drink. I'm babysitting with my girlfriend, but I guess I'll just have to find a substitute for drinking eh ;)

Good man, haven't watched that in a while. How far in are you?

Wish I could have a drink. I'm babysitting with my girlfriend, but I guess I'll just have to find a substitute for drinking eh ;)

Good man, haven't watched that in a while. How far in are you?

Red has just got out.

Red has just got out.

So near the end then.

You planning on watching anything else after it?

Wish I could have a drink. I'm babysitting with my girlfriend, but I guess I'll just have to find a substitute for drinking eh ;)

Good man, haven't watched that in a while. How far in are you?


I've been doing a lot of shagging these past few days too raging. Ain't it the best? especially mixed with drink.

I've been doing a lot of shagging these past few days too raging. Ain't it rhe best? especially mixed with drink.

To be honest I've never had sex when I've been pissed. I've done it when I've had a hangover though and it wasn't all that :(

But sex is the best, especially when it's with a real gorgeous girl :D

So near the end then.

You planning on watching anything else after it?

Just Youtube clips, babe.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=EjonG6swWco

To be honest I've never had sex when I've been pissed. I've done it when I've had a hangover though and it wasn't all that :(

But sex is the best, especially when it's with a real gorgeous girl :D

Best when the girl is slightly pissed mate, they are up for anything. :beerchug:

Just Youtube clips, babe.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=EjonG6swWco

Sounds good.

I don't find Ricky Gervais funny at all. His fans say people don't like him because his humour is too complex for simple minds but I understand him and think he's jus ****e.

Best when the girl is slightly pissed mate, they are up for anything. :beerchug:

:lol1:

I had a bird a few months ago who was the horniest person I've ever met, even hornier than Matt. It was ****in great.

And she was a looker :)

Sounds good.

I don't find Ricky Gervais funny at all. His fans say people don't like him because his humour is too complex for simple minds but I understand him and think he's jus ****e.

He is hit and miss for most of the time.

He is hit and miss for most of the time.

Lee Evans is the best in my opinion.

Absolutely hilarious.

Just Youtube clips, babe.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=EjonG6swWco


I want to see a death match between Jeremy Kyle and Gordan Ramsey..

I want to see a death match between Jeremy Kyle and Gordan Ramsey..

Ramsey would put Kyle in a world of hurt, babes.

Ramsey would put Kyle in a world of hurt, babes.

I would hope so, babes.

I would hope so, babes.

No need to hope in this match-up - Ramsey by death.

Southpaw... do you know if a "Life on Mars" dvd is due to be released?

No need to hope in this match-up - Ramsey by death.

Southpaw... do you know if a "Life on Mars" dvd is due to be released?


The first series already has, babes. I think the second series/box set is in the autumn.

The first series already has, babes. I think the second series/box set is in the autumn.

I have been in HMV and couldn't spot the ****er. I thought it was out but wasn't sure.

John Simm > The rest.

I have been in HMV and couldn't spot the ****er. I thought it was out but wasn't sure.

John Simm > The rest.

It was filmed near me house so it was.


Gene Hunt > everyone

It was filmed near me house so it was.


Gene Hunt > everyone

Did you see the legends?

What's your take on the story - time travel - dream - coma?

Did you see the legends?

What's your take on the story - time travel - dream - coma?


Lost it's way in the ending I thought. He chose to be in 1973 where he wanted to live his life. I think he went into a coma and never woke up, when he came out of the coma in the last ep, he didn't have a shaved head despite the fact he had just had brain surgery.

Lost it's way in the ending I thought. He chose to be in 1973 where he wanted to live his life. I think he went into a coma and never woke up, when he came out of the coma in the last ep, he didn't have a shaved head despite the fact he had just had brain surgery.

It's a great show for sure. :luvbed:

What do you make of the name "Gene" Hunt suggesting human genes?

It's a great show for sure. :luvbed:

What do you make of the name "Gene" Hunt suggesting human genes?

Not as major as the lyrics of the Bowie song.


"Take a look at the law man beating up the wrong guy" - Gene kicking everyones arse

and

"Wonder if he'll over know, he's in the best selling show" and the test card girl turning off the screen at the end...

Not as major as the lyrics of the Bowie song.


"Take a look at the law man beating up the wrong guy" - Gene kicking everyones arse

and

"Wonder if he'll over know, he's in the best selling show" and the test card girl turning off the screen at the end...

Amazing.

You turn me on at everything you do, babes.

Blow - channel 4. :luvbed:

Amazing.

You turn me on at everything you do, babes.

Blow - channel 4. :luvbed:

do I stimulate you intellectually, babes?

do I stimulate you intellectually, babes?

You prod and poke my intellectual g-spot and i gush forth reverence - all in your name.

You prod and poke my intellectual g-spot and i gush forth reverence - all in your name.



Is the Hoff anywhere to be found, babes?

Is the Hoff anywhere to be found, babes?

My sexual spot-light has been on the hunt - but - nothing so far.

My sexual spot-light has been on the hunt - but - nothing so far.


I shall use me love rod as a radar, babes. If he is near, it shall find him.

I shall use me love rod as a radar, babes. If he is near, it shall find him.

I trust in you.

Evening bum boys. Was the fight worth watching tonight?

My trouser snake is going wild, the Hoff must be near!

My trouser snake is going wild, the Hoff must be near!

Let him off his leash, I can handle him.

Let him off his leash, I can handle him.

He's coming for you, babes. Brace yourself :luvbed: