View Full Version : juan manuel marquez 100% facts


Primera
06-18-2012, 02:42 AM
http://www.boxingfutures.com/sites/default/files/imagecache/hero/Juan-Manuel-Marquez.jpg

-Once a cop pulled over Marquez....the cop was lucky to leave with a warning.

-Marquez doesn't flush the toilet, he scares the sh*t out of it.

-When Marquez goes swimming he does not get wet, the water gets Marquez'd.

-Marquez once gave a swift uppercut to a horse. Its decendants are known today as Giraffes.

-The original title for Alien vs. Predator was Alien and Predator vs Marquez.

The film was cancelled shortly after going into preproduction. No one would pay nine dollars to see a movie fourteen seconds long.

-Marquez is currently suing NBC, as Law and Order are already trademarked names for his left and right fists.

-Marquez once ordered a Big Mac at Burger King....and got one.


feel free to post some Juan Manuel Marquez facts

Primera
06-18-2012, 02:49 AM
Juan Manuel Marquez CAN believe it's not butter...

Marquez can kill two stones with one bird

A bulletproof vest wears Marquez for protection.

Marquez knows Victoria's secret.

Marquez can drown a fish. He can also kill a bird by throwing it off a cliff.

Death once had a near-Marquez- experience.

Marquez can hit you so hard your blood will bleed.

If you spell Juan Manuel Marquez wrong on Google it doesn't say, "Did you mean Juan Manuel Marquez?" It simply replies, "Run while you still have the chance."

Primera
06-18-2012, 02:53 AM
Marquez lost his virginity before his dad did.

Marquez is the only person on the planet that can punch you in the back of the face.

Marquez does not hunt because the word hunting implies the possibility of failure. Narqyez goes killing.

Marquez doesn't use pickup lines, he simply says, "Now." or "You."

If you swallow a quarter and Marquez punches you in the stomach you will crap out two dimes and a nickel.

EdWins
06-18-2012, 08:40 AM
Chuck Norris is going to roundhouse this thread..

Rolaz
06-18-2012, 08:47 AM
How does Juan Manuel Marquez sounds in a sentence?

One man will mark kiss!

Cleto_Reyes
06-18-2012, 11:30 AM
The boogieman checks under his bed for Marquez

RIZO24
06-18-2012, 02:23 PM
No Mamen!!Pero ay ve de los Dos XX commercials.. Marquez is the life of the party he has never attended. When Marquez slaps you, you feel a need to thank him..

DeadLikeMe
06-18-2012, 04:45 PM
Chuck Norris was once offered a glass of JMM piss. It drank him.

Primera
06-18-2012, 04:47 PM
Once, while having sex in a tractor-trailer, part of Marquez' sperm escaped and got into the engine. We now know this truck as Optimus Prime.

Marquez owns the greatest Poker Face of all-time. It helped him win the 1983 World Series of Poker despite him holding just a Joker, a Get out of Jail Free Monopoly card, a 2 of clubs, 7 of spades and a green #4 card from the game Uno and a grape.

Marquez sold his soul to the devil for his rugged good looks and unparalleled boxing ability. Shortly after the transaction was finalized, Juan uppercutted the devil in the face and took his soul back. The devil, who appreciates irony, couldn't stay mad and admitted he should have seen it coming. They now play poker every second Wednesday of the month.

cactusEG
06-18-2012, 07:02 PM
Marquez got his wife pregnant while having phone sex

RavshinRicRude
06-18-2012, 07:37 PM
Marquez was asked to join the cast of "The Expendables II
........but the cast decided to join him instead

piojo del norte
06-18-2012, 07:38 PM
Marquez eats raisins and sh*ts grapes.


but the ones said up there are all cool!

RavshinRicRude
06-18-2012, 07:49 PM
One time on a rainy day in Mexico City and in front of 100K Mexicans at Azteca Stadium Marquez ACTUALLY ate lightning and crapped thunder....LITERATELY!

RavshinRicRude
06-18-2012, 07:56 PM
Marquez doesn't have to cheat death.....he plays him straight up.....

Primera
06-18-2012, 09:23 PM
Marquez can create a rock so heavy that even he can't lift it. And then he lifts it anyways, just to show you who the **** Marquez is.

Pinatas were made in an attempt to get Marquez to stop uppercutting the people of Mexico as a child. Sadly this backfired, as all it has resulted in is Marquez now looking for candy after he punches his victims.

Cleto_Reyes
06-19-2012, 01:18 AM
In scrabble if you spell juan manuel marquez you win forever

-Huey-
06-19-2012, 01:24 AM
Juan Manuel Marquez beat Pacquiao three times...The only fact that matters.

RavshinRicRude
06-19-2012, 12:54 PM
Little known fact about JMM........

All those pro athletes (baseball players, football players, body builders, wrestlers, boxers, MMA, etc etc) who test positive for steroids injected JMM's piss..........true story!!!

cactusEG
06-20-2012, 02:10 AM
Marquez was the the Mexico vs El Salvador game. The Slavi fan asked him to piss in the ballons and they threw it at themselfs

dj Calleti
06-20-2012, 02:21 AM
El no es de mejico...el es 100% guanaco.....

chiguy91
06-20-2012, 02:31 AM
marquez once taught a german shepherd to bark in spanish.

marquez once had an awkward moment, just to see how it feels.

marquez's mustache alone has experienced more than a lesser man***8217;s entire body.

even marquez's enemies list him as their emergency contact number.

when it is raining, it is because marquez is thinking of something sad.

marquez's shirts never wrinkle.

if marquez were to mail a letter without postage, it would still get there.

you can see marquez's charisma from space.

marquez's blood smells like cologne.

marquez doesn***8217;t believe in using oven mitts, nor potholders.

marquez's reputation is expanding faster than the universe.

marquez's cereal never gets soggy. It sits there, staying crispy, just for him.

marquez's hands feel like rich brown suede.

marquez owns three sports cars and rents five.

marquez once taught a horse to read email for him.

marquez once brought in $13 million at a charity bachelor auction, which was a lot of money at the time.

respected archaeologists fight over marquez's discarded apple cores.

marquez has inside jokes with complete strangers.

mosquitos refuse to bite marquez purely out of respect.

marquez's charm has been so contagious, vaccines have been created for it.

marquez is the only man to ever ace a rorschach test.

if marquez patted you on the back, you would list it on your resume.

marquez doesn't call the wrong number, you answer the wrong phone.

if marquez were to punch you in the face, you***8217;d have to fight off the urge to thank him.

marquez has a website. it***8217;s called the internet.

regardless of the temperature, you can never see marquez's breath.

there is no theory of evolution. just a list of creatures marquez allows to live.

when marquez pokes you on facebook, you can feel it.

marquez speaks fluent french, in russian.

Primera
06-20-2012, 04:53 AM
Marquez once ate an entire bottle of sleeping pills. They made him...blink. This is very unfortunate because Marquez did not appreciate the gesture. Marquez proceeded to uppercut the maker of the pills, he is no longer with us.


Ghosts sit around the campfire and tell Marquez stories.

El_Forklift
06-22-2012, 06:41 PM
Pacquiao asked marquez for boxing lessons hahaha

RIZO24
06-22-2012, 07:20 PM
marquez once taught a german shepherd to bark in spanish.

marquez once had an awkward moment, just to see how it feels.

marquez's mustache alone has experienced more than a lesser manís entire body.

even marquez's enemies list him as their emergency contact number.

when it is raining, it is because marquez is thinking of something sad.

marquez's shirts never wrinkle.

if marquez were to mail a letter without postage, it would still get there.

you can see marquez's charisma from space.

marquez's blood smells like cologne.

marquez doesnít believe in using oven mitts, nor potholders.

marquez's reputation is expanding faster than the universe.

marquez's cereal never gets soggy. It sits there, staying crispy, just for him.

marquez's hands feel like rich brown suede.

marquez owns three sports cars and rents five.

marquez once taught a horse to read email for him.

marquez once brought in $13 million at a charity bachelor auction, which was a lot of money at the time.

respected archaeologists fight over marquez's discarded apple cores.

marquez has inside jokes with complete strangers.

mosquitos refuse to bite marquez purely out of respect.

marquez's charm has been so contagious, vaccines have been created for it.

marquez is the only man to ever ace a rorschach test.

if marquez patted you on the back, you would list it on your resume.

marquez doesn't call the wrong number, you answer the wrong phone.

if marquez were to punch you in the face, youíd have to fight off the urge to thank him.

marquez has a website. itís called the internet.

regardless of the temperature, you can never see marquez's breath.

there is no theory of evolution. just a list of creatures marquez allows to live.

when marquez pokes you on facebook, you can feel it.

marquez speaks fluent french, in russian.

LMAO!!! Classic stuff right there...Marquez is the man!!!

bigsmoothh
06-22-2012, 09:09 PM
si marquez te diria que te aprecia te estuviera mintiendo
marquez nunca pierde el simplemente deja que otros ganen
marquez no conose al miedo, pero el miedo conose a marquez
a marquez, mike tyson le tuvo miedo
marquez no se addicta a los ciggaros, los ciggaros de adictan a el
si marquez te mira, el ya sabe lo que estas pensando