I was just watching the Daily Show and this a new reporter on there said something that an old co-worker use to say to freak out customers. "Parole Officer".

How would this freak out people? Easy, you can do like my old co-worker and hand you the phone and say, "Its for you. Its your PAROLE OFFICER". Customers faces were priceless. You can do like the guy on the Daily Show and say "Now you sound like my PAROLE OFFICER". This is great in front of strangers, customers, or the FIRST time you meet your girlfriend`s family.

People arent comfortible around ex-cons like you and I, and they cant be rude too soon. It makes them feel soooo weird. I love that, I love it, I LOVE IT. I love it more than that cool breeze after some good car sex when you roll down the window.

Tonite MY goal is to freak out as many people as possible. THIS IS GOING TO BE FUN. IS YOU WIT ME!?