Spanish jokes? [Archive]

{BrownBomber}

12-17-2004, 02:33 PM

I got one,this **** is funny.
3 borrachitos hablando y le pregunta uno al otro.Oye tu que crees que es mas rapido,un rayo o la luz? Uno dice la luz y el otro dice el rayo. El tercero dice ustedes estan pendejos! Lo mas rapido es la caca! Porque dicen los otros 2. Mira, dice el tercero.Anoche me estaba cagando! me lavante como un rayo! prendi las luz y ya me abia cagado!

{BrownBomber}

12-17-2004, 03:33 PM

lol anyone else?

.::|ULTIMATE|::.

12-17-2004, 03:40 PM

{BrownBomber}

12-17-2004, 07:26 PM

Porque las mujeres tienen dos pares de labios?

Unos para decir PENDEJADAS.

Y los otros para COREJIRLAS!

{BrownBomber}

12-18-2004, 10:06 PM

A que cabrones! no que muy Mexicanos?

julDilla

12-18-2004, 10:11 PM

{BrownBomber}

12-20-2004, 10:07 PM

THE MIDDLE AGED CHICANA!

A middle aged Chicana had a heart attack and was taken to the hospital. While on the operating table, the comadre was delirious, she had a near death experience. Seeing God, she asked, "Hay Dios Santo, is my time up?"

Dios said, "No mijita, you have another 43 years, two months and eight days to live."

Upon recovery, the Chicana decided to stay in the hospital and have the works done: a face-lift, liposuction, a chichi lift, nalga lift and a pansa tuck. The Chica was all excited cause she knew she had a long life ahead and wanted to look bien Chin****!

After her last operation, she was released from the hospital. While crossing the street on her way to a taqueria, she was hit and killed by an ambulance.

Arriving in front of Creator, she demanded, "Orale pues - Que paso? I thought you said I had another 40 years to go? Why didn't you pull me out of the path of that pin*** ambulance?" The Creator replied, "Orale Chica, I didn't even recognize you!"

.::|ULTIMATE|::.

12-20-2004, 10:24 PM

{BrownBomber}

12-20-2004, 10:40 PM

Estabe una nina en su clase de religion y la hagaro la una monja copeando la tarea. Y la monja la hagaro del las narises con los dedos y le dijo"Las ninas que copean la tarea no se van al cielo!" Y la nina la hagara de las narises agual y le dice "A las monjas que le huelen las manos a PITO no se van al cielo TAMPOCO!"

{BrownBomber}

12-20-2004, 10:43 PM

Habia un nino que era tan pero tan pero tan pero tan.........

Que se volvio campana!

julDilla

12-20-2004, 11:25 PM

Eeyore

12-20-2004, 11:55 PM

Era una vez Pepito que entró a la Iglesia la cual estaba repleta de gente, él traía una bolsa de huevos y al ir pasando entre la gente gritaba:
-¡¡¡¡¡Cuidado con los huevos!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
El padre lo escucho y dijo:
-¡¡Saquen al niño de los huevos!!!!!
A lo que Pepito contesto:
-Mejor de la orejita!

julDilla

12-20-2004, 11:59 PM

hahahahaha i always laugh at one of pepitos joke :D

{BrownBomber}

12-21-2004, 01:58 PM

Un dia la mama de pepito lo mando a comprar huevos a la tienda. So ayi iva pepito por la calle cuando de pronto miro un carro que atropello a un hombre,el la madre dijo pepito. y se aranca en chinga a decirle a su mama....

mama!mama! dice pepito vi que atropellaron a un hombre dice le volo un braso para ya y la pierna por otro lado y la cabeza salio rodando! y la mama le pregunta y los huevos?

Dice pepito, oh esos los se los vi!

{BrownBomber}

02-26-2005, 08:54 PM

Polo Polo-Los Cazadorez

{BrownBomber}

02-26-2005, 08:58 PM

Polo Polo whole cd never mind was to big to add.

{BrownBomber}

07-02-2005, 06:45 PM

insult!!
Puta madre! Estas mas feo que una patada en los huevos. :D

Round 1

07-03-2005, 03:56 PM

Un Vampiro decide enseñarle a su hijo como chupar sangre.
Se lo lleva al parque y le dice; mira Junior te voy a demostrar como se ataca a una victima y le chupas la sangre, acto seguido el papa ataca a un joven que venia caminando, lo ataca y le chupa la sangre del cuello.
Te fijaste bien? sigues tu.
El hijo ataca a una victima, le baja los pantalones y le empieza a chupar la verga.
Junior, que demonios estas haciendo? te dije que le chuparas la sangre no la verga!
Ay papa, a mi me gusta usar popote cuando chupo sangre!

{BrownBomber}

07-03-2005, 03:58 PM

Round 1

07-03-2005, 04:11 PM

Una muchacha le regala una casa nueva a sus padres, la casa tenia muebles nuevos y carro ultimo modelo a la puerta.
Su papa le pregunta, hija de donde sacaste tanto dinero para comprar todo esto?
La hija le responde, papa soy prostituta!
Que has dicho degenerada, eres la verguenza de la familia, no quiero que vuelvas a hablarnos a tu mama y a mi!
Esta bueno papa, tendre que devolver todos estos regalos que les habia comprado.
Su papa se queda pensando un minuto y le dice, "que dijiste que eras?"
" prostituta papa, soy prostituta."
Uff, yo pense que habias dicho que eras protestante.

SonnyG8R

07-03-2005, 04:53 PM

There’s an old joke about an Englishmen, Frenchman, American from Texas and Mexican on a Trans-Atlantic flight. One of the engines is struck by lightning and the plane begins to lose altitude. As it loses height they throw out all the luggage but still it descends. So they throw out all the seats, but the plane is still too heavy. Then in an act of Patriotism and desperation the Frenchman stands up, shouts “vive la France” and throws himself out. Not to be outdone the Englishman stands up, shouts “God save the queen!” and throws himself out. But still the plane descends. Finally, and as a last resort, the American stands up, shouts “remember the Alamo” and throws out the Mexican.

medium-deek

07-03-2005, 04:54 PM

Round 1

07-03-2005, 05:05 PM

Dad says to his 5 year old son Leroy, today, I'm going to teach you all about sex. He takes him upstairs to the bedroom and says, son, you see that hole in between your mom's legs? Watch daddy tear it up and proceeds to bang the sleeping mother.
the next Sunday morning the 5 year old son tells his 4 year old sister, "Daddy thought me all about sex, let me show you."
They enter their sleeping parents bedroom and the boy says; You see that hole in between daddy's legs? watch Leroy tear it up!

PapiShasho

07-03-2005, 05:34 PM

Porque las mujeres tienen dos pares de labios?

Unos para decir PENDEJADAS.

Y los otros para COREJIRLAS!

haha oh ****, ima have to use that one... :cool:

{BrownBomber}

07-03-2005, 05:44 PM

good input everyone. lmao!!!

RoyFlapsHisLips

07-03-2005, 06:03 PM

Why don't *******s barbecue? The beans keep falling through the grill.

{BrownBomber}

07-03-2005, 06:47 PM

Why don't *******s barbecue? The beans keep falling through the grill.
lol that was good one coming from a *****.

RoyFlapsHisLips

07-03-2005, 07:17 PM

lol that was good one coming from a *****.

Like that one? Good.

How many *******s does it take to grease a car?

One if you hit him right.

SonnyG8R

07-03-2005, 08:19 PM

Why don't *******s barbecue? The beans keep falling through the grill.

How many *******s does it take to grease a car?

One if you hit him right.

Wow, I new you were a brianless urinal cake, but I didn't know you were a blatant racist.

*******!

RoyFlapsHisLips

07-03-2005, 08:26 PM

Wow, I new you were a brianless urinal cake, but I didn't know you were a blatant racist.

*******!

Go cry to abidiel and get me banned. Give the ******* a chance to throw his weight around.

I'll start with the ***** jokes if you'd like.

http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v648/LittleJimmyJackslap/nig_image28.jpg

75th

07-03-2005, 08:28 PM

Go cry to abidiel and get me banned. Give the ******* a chance to throw his weight around.

I'll start with the ***** jokes if you'd like.

http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v648/LittleJimmyJackslap/nig_image28.jpg

ahahahahahah

I'm glad you're over here Flaps.

RoyFlapsHisLips

07-03-2005, 08:29 PM

ahahahahahah

I'm glad you're over here Flaps.

Not for long, I gather.

SonnyG8R

07-03-2005, 08:30 PM

What an *******. :rolleyes:

{BrownBomber}

07-03-2005, 08:30 PM

SonnyG8R

07-03-2005, 08:30 PM

ahahahahahah

I'm glad you're over here Flaps.

leave it to **** knocker to appove.

RoyFlapsHisLips

07-03-2005, 08:32 PM

little ***** you dont know who you ****in with. your as gay as they come you little piece of ****!go back to your kkk meeting *****.

I don't know who I'm ****ing with?? Gonna hop into your "Chevvy" with 40 of your cousins and come beat me up?

Please.

75th

07-03-2005, 08:33 PM

leave it to **** knocker to appove.

:lol1:

Can you get anymore openly stupid?

75th

07-03-2005, 08:36 PM

How pathetic do you have to be to honestly give a **** about "bad karma?"

Try again you fat piece of brown ****.

RoyFlapsHisLips

07-03-2005, 08:37 PM

Hey Knox, **** you. I'm giving you a Frowny Face sticker for your performance today.

{BrownBomber}

07-03-2005, 08:39 PM

I don't know who I'm ****ing with?? Gonna hop into your "Chevvy" with 40 of your cousins and come beat me up?

Please.

****you *** i dont need to get anyone else involved. ive never droven a ****in chevy in my life you ****kk suckkker.i bet your the bigest ***** in the kkk.

{BrownBomber}

07-03-2005, 08:40 PM

How pathetic do you have to be to honestly give a **** about "bad karma?"

Try again you fat piece of brown ****.
damn you sure checked it fast for not giving a ****.

RoyFlapsHisLips

07-03-2005, 08:40 PM

****you *** i dont need to get anyone else involved. ive never droven a ****in chevy in my life you ****kk suckkker.i bet your the bigest ***** in the kkk.

****, I'm no Klansman. I ****ing hate inbred hilljack rednecks as well.

I hate you all with equal and undying passion.

{BrownBomber}

07-03-2005, 08:42 PM

****, I'm no Klansman. I ****ing hate inbred hilljack rednecks as well.

I hate you all with equal and undying passion.
thats what you a ***** and a ***** getting **** ramed up his ass at a truckstop.

SonnyG8R

07-03-2005, 08:43 PM

****, I'm no Klansman. I ****ing hate inbred hilljack rednecks as well.

I hate you all with equal and undying passion.

Self hatred huh, that's a shame you pathetic racist piece of ****. Everone sees your true colors now spermbreath. Way to go.

75th

07-03-2005, 08:43 PM

damn you sure checked it fast for not giving a ****.

Wrong, I got a pm saying check my CP, so I did that and found your bean smelling ass issued bad karma. :lol1:

BTW **** you Flaps.

RoyFlapsHisLips

07-03-2005, 08:45 PM

Self hatred huh, that's a shame you pathetic racist piece of ****. Everone sees your true colors now spermbreath. Way to go.

This is the internet, the bastion of lying scumbags. I could be your Pastor for all you know.

SonnyG8R

07-03-2005, 08:48 PM

Couple of BI-sexual assnecks.

http://myspace-048.vo.llnwd.net/00141/84/08/141878048_m.jpg

RoyFlapsHisLips

07-03-2005, 08:49 PM

Couple of BI-sexual assnecks.

http://myspace-048.vo.llnwd.net/00141/84/08/141878048_m.jpg

http://www.gti18t.com/images/forums/thread-ugly.gif

{BrownBomber}

07-03-2005, 08:49 PM

Wrong, I got a pm saying check my CP, so I did that and found your bean smelling ass issued bad karma. :lol1:

BTW **** you Flaps.

oh ya the special feature that stands for pussie's mail.
that only works with little **** like you.