wrote a verse bout a chick that did me wronf pathetic i know but im dealing with my 1st and ONLY heartbreak wrote this while i was bored tell me what you think Like and Hate welcome :la:


verse- there something bout her that drives me "crazy" tellin me im her "baby" then somehow end up bein "gravy" thought we had something i thought i was the corona and you were a lime so we made the perfect "swayzie" yet i heard shawty ****in around with "stacy" but what ever the case "be" let me grab the blunt jump out the "mercedes" and make big ruccus like i was "hati's" but makes me want to be sick when i spit like i had "rabies" dont respect a ***** cause thats just a honest term instead of callin her a "lady" she causin all this aftermath could've sworn she ****in "shady" see i wrote my name in your heart why you wanna erase "me" its time to make up your mind either you love me or you hate "me" i thought we were the perfect match like wayne and "baby"

Meh.

Write in lines, that's more like a paragraph.

lol was it decent below decent garbage be honest let me hear it :drillserg

Too many similies. Use more metaphors. It takes more effort to use metaphors over similies. I'm not saying don't use similies. I'm just sayin, similies are too easy and don't require effort. Using metaphors is what makes a great rapper great. Don't be afraid to make the last word of a line, not rhyme with the previous line.


All in all. It's average I suppose. Though, I can't really "feel" your lyrics because I don't know the tempo of your lyrics or the beat behind it. So basically i'm tying it in with the last song I listened to which was american terrorist by lupe fiasco. lol