i havent herd any in a long ass time, does any one got nay funny ones?

i havent herd any in a long ass time, does any one got nay funny ones?


p4p, let's exchange karma.

And No that's not a pick up line. :o

I find confidence works. When I first met my wife I told her, "you know you want to give me your number"

Pretty lame but it worked.

Here is a joke while we wait,

A man had been drinking at a pub all night when the bartender finally decided to close up shop. So the man stood up to leave and fell flat on his face. He tried to stand one more time; same result. He figured he’d crawl outside and get some fresh air to try to sober up. Once outside he stood up and fell flat on his face. So he decided to crawl the four blocks to his home. When he arrived at the door he stood up and again fell flat on his face. He crawled through the door and into his bedroom. When he reached his bed he tried one more time to stand up. This time he managed to pull himself upright, but he quickly fell right into bed and was sound asleep as soon as his head hit the pillow. He was awakened the next morning to his wife standing over him, shouting, “So, you’ve been out drinking again!!” “What makes you say that?” he asked, putting on an innocent look. “The pub called—you left your wheelchair there again.”

p4p, let's exchange karma.

And No that's not a pick up line. :o
WTF!!! i heard better pick up lines than that :mad:

Here is a joke while we wait,

A man had been drinking at a pub all night when the bartender finally decided to close up shop. So the man stood up to leave and fell flat on his face. He tried to stand one more time; same result. He figured he’d crawl outside and get some fresh air to try to sober up. Once outside he stood up and fell flat on his face. So he decided to crawl the four blocks to his home. When he arrived at the door he stood up and again fell flat on his face. He crawled through the door and into his bedroom. When he reached his bed he tried one more time to stand up. This time he managed to pull himself upright, but he quickly fell right into bed and was sound asleep as soon as his head hit the pillow. He was awakened the next morning to his wife standing over him, shouting, “So, you’ve been out drinking again!!” “What makes you say that?” he asked, putting on an innocent look. “The pub called—you left your wheelchair there again.”

lol, nice. :p

WTF!!! i heard better pick up lines than that :mad:

So you down or what?

Here is a joke while we wait,

A man had been drinking at a pub all night when the bartender finally decided to close up shop. So the man stood up to leave and fell flat on his face. He tried to stand one more time; same result. He figured he’d crawl outside and get some fresh air to try to sober up. Once outside he stood up and fell flat on his face. So he decided to crawl the four blocks to his home. When he arrived at the door he stood up and again fell flat on his face. He crawled through the door and into his bedroom. When he reached his bed he tried one more time to stand up. This time he managed to pull himself upright, but he quickly fell right into bed and was sound asleep as soon as his head hit the pillow. He was awakened the next morning to his wife standing over him, shouting, “So, you’ve been out drinking again!!” “What makes you say that?” he asked, putting on an innocent look. “The pub called—you left your wheelchair there again.”
lmfao hahahahahaha good joke and sure sonny you give me 1st and i'll give u some in a second

lmfao hahahahahaha good joke and sure sonny you give me 1st and i'll give u some in a second

There you go. Worth almost 184,000 :eek:

There you go. Worth almost 184,000 :eek:

hahah u sucker my points no deal my points now im not giving u any, im just kidding :D

you must be a parking ticket cause you got fine written all over you.

if i was a fly id land on you cause your the ****!

if i could rewrite the alphabet id put u and i together. :D

is that a mirror in your pocket, because i can see myself in your pants :D

Why don't you step out of those wet clothes and into a dry martini?

I'd buy you a drink, but I'd be jealous of the straw.

I lost my phone number, can I borrow yours?

I lost my teddy bear, can I sleep with you instead?

Do you sleep on your stomach? No? Can I?

Do you believe in love at first sight or should I drive by again?

You're like milk, I just wanna make you part of my complete breakfast.

lol

If beauty were an hour, you'd be a second.

Do you wanna come to the Marines, or would your rather have a Marine come into you?

So do you ****, suck and take it up the ass or am I wasting my time on a Jesus freak?

If I flip a coin, what are my chances of getting head?

Can I buy you a drink or do you just want the money?

I bet you $20 you're gonna turn me down.

Hi. I suffer from amnesia. Do I come here often?

Lol, sorry for this being my third consecutive post. Just had to make a special one for the following. :D

Okay, so I came over here to ask you to dance, but I'm kind of concerned. I mean, we could hit it off really well, end up having a few drinks, next thing you know you're giving me your number because I'm too shy to ask for it, I finally get up the nerve to call and we take in a movie, have some dinner, I relax, you relax, we go out a few more times, get to know each other's friends, spend a lot of time together, then finally have get past this sexual tension and really develop this intense sex life that is truly incredible, decide our relationship is solid and stable, so we move in together for a while, then a few months later get married, I get a promotion, you get a promotion, we buy a bigger house. You really want kids, but I really want freedom, but we have a kid anyway, only to find that I am resentful, the sparks start to fade and to rekindle them we have two more lovely kids, but now I work too much to keep up with the bills, have no time for you, you're stressed and stop taking really good care of yourself, so to get past our slow sex life and my declining self-confidence I turn to an outside affair for sexual gratification. You find out because I'm careless and a lousy liar, you throw me out (justifiably so) and we have to explain to the kids why mommy and daddy are splitting up. That's just too sad. Think about the children. For God's sake, if you dance with me and we hit it off, let's just keep it sexual, because we both know where it's going.

For best results try this one

Fancy a f*ck? :D