Rick Reeno
03-04-2005, 10:55 AM
> It's once again time to review the winners of the annual Stella
Awards.
> The Stellas are named after 81 year old Stella Liebeck who spilled
> coffee on herself and successfully sued McDonald's. That case
inspired
> the Stella Awards for the most frivolous successful lawsuits in the
United
> States.
>
> Unfortunately the most recent lawsuit implicating McDonald's, the
teens
> who allege that eating at McDonald's has made them fat, was filed
after
> the 2003 award voting was closed. This suit will top the 2004 awards
> list without question.
>
> THIS YEAR'S AWARDS GO TO:
>
> 5th Place. (Tied).
>
> Kathleen Robertson of Austin,Texas was awarded $780,000 by a jury
> of her peers after breaking her ankle tripping over a toddler who was
> running inside a furniture store. The owners of the store were
> understandably surprised at the verdict, considering the misbehaving
> toddler was Ms. Robertson's Son.
>
> 5th Place. (Tied).
>
> 19 year old Carl Truman of Los Angeles won $74,000 and medical
> expenses when his neighbor ran over his hand with a Honda Accord.
> Mr. Truman apparently did not notice there was someone at the wheel
> of the car when he was trying to steal the hubcaps.
>
> 5th Place. (Tied).
>
> Terrence Dickson of Bristol, Pennsylvania was leaving a house he
> had just finished robbing by way of the garage. He was not able to
> get the garage door to go up since the automatic door opener was
> malfunctioning. He could not re-enter the house because the door
> connecting the house and garage locked when he pulled it shut.
> The family was on vacation and Mr. Dickson found himself locked
> in the garage for 8 days. He subsisted on a case of Pepsi he found
> and a large bag of dry dog food. He sued the homeowner's insurance
> claiming the situation caused him undue mental anguish. The Jury
> agreed to the tune of $500,000.
>
> 4th Place.
>
> Jerry Williams of Little Rock, Arkansas was awarded $14,500 and
> medical expenses after being bitten on the buttocks by his next door
> neighbor's Beagle dog. The Beagle was on a chain in its owner's
> fenced yard. The award was less than sought because the jury felt
> the dog might have been a little provoked at the time as Mr. Williams,
> who had climbed over the fence into the yard, was shooting it
> repeatedly with a pellet gun.
>
> 3rd Place.
>
> A Philadelphia restaurant was ordered to pay Amber Carson of
> Lancaster, Pennsylvania $113,500 after she slipped on a soft drink
> and broke her coccyx (tailbone). The beverage was on the floor
> because Ms. Carson had thrown it at her boyfriend 30 seconds
> earlier, during an argument.
>
> 2nd Place.
>
> Kara Walton of Claymont, Delaware sued the owner of a Night Club
> in a neighboring city when she fell from the bathroom window to the
> floor and knocked out two of her front teeth. This occurred whilst
> Ms Walton was trying to sneak in the window of the Ladies Room
> to avoid paying the $3.50 cover charge. She was awarded $12,000
> and dental expenses.
>
> 1st Place.
>
> This year's runaway winner was Mr. Merv Grazinski of Oklahoma City,
> Oklahoma. Mr. Grazinski purchased a brand new Winnebago motor
> home. On his trip home from an OU football game, having driven
> onto the freeway, he set the cruise control at 70 mph and calmly left
> the driver's seat to go into the back and make himself a cup of
coffee.
> Not surprisingly the RV left the freeway, crashed and overturned.
> Mr. Grazinski sued Winnebago for not advising him in the owner's
> manual that he could not actually do this. The jury awarded him
> $1,750,000 plus a new Winnebago motor home. The company actually
> changed their manuals on the basis of this suit just in case there
> were any other complete morons buying their recreational vehicles.
Awards.
> The Stellas are named after 81 year old Stella Liebeck who spilled
> coffee on herself and successfully sued McDonald's. That case
inspired
> the Stella Awards for the most frivolous successful lawsuits in the
United
> States.
>
> Unfortunately the most recent lawsuit implicating McDonald's, the
teens
> who allege that eating at McDonald's has made them fat, was filed
after
> the 2003 award voting was closed. This suit will top the 2004 awards
> list without question.
>
> THIS YEAR'S AWARDS GO TO:
>
> 5th Place. (Tied).
>
> Kathleen Robertson of Austin,Texas was awarded $780,000 by a jury
> of her peers after breaking her ankle tripping over a toddler who was
> running inside a furniture store. The owners of the store were
> understandably surprised at the verdict, considering the misbehaving
> toddler was Ms. Robertson's Son.
>
> 5th Place. (Tied).
>
> 19 year old Carl Truman of Los Angeles won $74,000 and medical
> expenses when his neighbor ran over his hand with a Honda Accord.
> Mr. Truman apparently did not notice there was someone at the wheel
> of the car when he was trying to steal the hubcaps.
>
> 5th Place. (Tied).
>
> Terrence Dickson of Bristol, Pennsylvania was leaving a house he
> had just finished robbing by way of the garage. He was not able to
> get the garage door to go up since the automatic door opener was
> malfunctioning. He could not re-enter the house because the door
> connecting the house and garage locked when he pulled it shut.
> The family was on vacation and Mr. Dickson found himself locked
> in the garage for 8 days. He subsisted on a case of Pepsi he found
> and a large bag of dry dog food. He sued the homeowner's insurance
> claiming the situation caused him undue mental anguish. The Jury
> agreed to the tune of $500,000.
>
> 4th Place.
>
> Jerry Williams of Little Rock, Arkansas was awarded $14,500 and
> medical expenses after being bitten on the buttocks by his next door
> neighbor's Beagle dog. The Beagle was on a chain in its owner's
> fenced yard. The award was less than sought because the jury felt
> the dog might have been a little provoked at the time as Mr. Williams,
> who had climbed over the fence into the yard, was shooting it
> repeatedly with a pellet gun.
>
> 3rd Place.
>
> A Philadelphia restaurant was ordered to pay Amber Carson of
> Lancaster, Pennsylvania $113,500 after she slipped on a soft drink
> and broke her coccyx (tailbone). The beverage was on the floor
> because Ms. Carson had thrown it at her boyfriend 30 seconds
> earlier, during an argument.
>
> 2nd Place.
>
> Kara Walton of Claymont, Delaware sued the owner of a Night Club
> in a neighboring city when she fell from the bathroom window to the
> floor and knocked out two of her front teeth. This occurred whilst
> Ms Walton was trying to sneak in the window of the Ladies Room
> to avoid paying the $3.50 cover charge. She was awarded $12,000
> and dental expenses.
>
> 1st Place.
>
> This year's runaway winner was Mr. Merv Grazinski of Oklahoma City,
> Oklahoma. Mr. Grazinski purchased a brand new Winnebago motor
> home. On his trip home from an OU football game, having driven
> onto the freeway, he set the cruise control at 70 mph and calmly left
> the driver's seat to go into the back and make himself a cup of
coffee.
> Not surprisingly the RV left the freeway, crashed and overturned.
> Mr. Grazinski sued Winnebago for not advising him in the owner's
> manual that he could not actually do this. The jury awarded him
> $1,750,000 plus a new Winnebago motor home. The company actually
> changed their manuals on the basis of this suit just in case there
> were any other complete morons buying their recreational vehicles.