a about teenage boy.


How do I motivate him to give a damn about school. Also how to motivate him to get on the ball concerning him fulfilling his requirements for his probation. It's been nearly two months and he hasn't started anything on it.

I can't do it for him and that's the hardest part of it all. I'm trying to do what's best for him, but I think it's going to take him getting hauled off to juvi for it to sink in.

Please, any ideas? My heart is breaking.

dont be heart broken cause he doesnt care, **** if juvi is all that will help him give a damn, tough **** for him, you shouldnt suffer cause his mess ups. Yeah its your son and id feel the same way you do and id hate to see my son go through crap like that, but being a mom u can only do so much, he knows what can happen and still doesnt care, **** it, he will learn the hard way, and wished he would have listened to you and his dad.

You're right Kimee.....it's just so damn hard.

I no how you feel, my son is on a roll latley, and it hurts to punish my 5 year old, if i had to go through what your going through, id be crushed, it sucks ass but hey, we can only do so much.

True...his teachers help out by giving him extra time, which they need to do anyway since he has a learning disability, but getting him to even try is the hard part in school.

I think I might hang over his head that all I have to do is call his p.o. and he's gone.

do what u gotto do, dont put your life on hold cause this crap, he will take it all as a lesson learned hopefully.

Well, don't tell him my story, because that's not going to help anything. 3 reasons why:

1) He's not as smart
2) He's not as motivated
3) He's not as good looking

(I threw the third one in to make joke)

There's going to come a point where the kid either cares, or doesn't, and meets consequence as a result. I had nowhere near as many chances as he's had. Truth is, he has way more than I ever had, just in having the parental support structure he does. It's sad. Part of me wants to grab him by the ears and shake his head like a bag of popcorn. Another part of me wants to see him lay in the bed he's making in due time.

Maybe there's a combination of the two that we can work on.

They're right. I was in trouble a lot when I was a kid. he's not gonna change unless he wants to, and that usually takes something scaring the **** out of him, like juvi or a terrible event to shock the system. Hopefully something will happen that will make him realize that this is the only life he will ever have and if he doesn't straighten it out now, he'll regret it forever when it's too late.

BTW, nice to see the ghost "appear". Perfect screenname for that cat.

as always, i give the same answer:
beat him

His dad and I had lunch today (a rare occurence with his schedule) and dicsussed that we're going to do.

We're going to have him "accidentally" overhear us discussing about calling his p.o. and see if we can scare him. He met some kids while waiting for his time with the judge and realized at the time how lucky he was. It seems to have worn off.

We are also both willing to actually go thru with the phone call to his p.o. if this doesn't work. His actions have VERY negative results on my relationship with the rest of the family. I try not to let it, but it does.

as always, i give the same answer:
beat him


It doesn't work Purity. It only causes me massive amounts of guilt.

efficient beating=fear and fear has never failed throughout the history of mankind.

I agree with mini-Norton. My mom whooped my ass all the time and I turned out OK.

i was a dick cause my mom never beat me. then my dad showed up one night and ****in tooled me. i was cool afterwards.

Parents are becoming the biggest ******* nowadays and are allowing their kids to manipulate them like toys... Guilt? There shouldn't be any guilt involved in correcting your kid, you're preparing them for life and guiding them.

My mother used to tell me: I am glad we're friends, but I am your mother first.

i was a dick cause my mom never beat me. then my dad showed up one night and ****in tooled me. i was cool afterwards.

My dad has worked rough jobs his whole life, so his hands are no joke. I remember they felt like f'ing bricks. I don't remember a time I was hit that I didn't deserve it. Beatings build character. The parent has to be smart enough not to abuse and to reward the child when he does something right.

I don't remember a time I was hit that I didn't deserve it. Beatings build character. The parent has to be smart enough not to abuse and to reward the child when he does something right.


That's just it. I grew up abused. I'm afraid of turning into the abuser.

It's a hard line to walk and still be a good parent. The girls have never been much trouble, but Dan, on the other hand........

I do have the advantage he is still afraid of me when I go into a certain mode, but I don't use it often as to not wear it out. This kid is like a virus that mutates. I find something that works and he shifts of me. He mutates and I need to find another method. I'm running out of methods.

as always, i give the same answer:
beat him.

Sometimes Nancy... **** just have to hit the fan before they actually want to pick themselves up... at this time you can only show him the right path, the tools to get there and pray... the rest is up to him...free will is a beautiful thing.. dangerous.. but it belongs to us... his will.... is just that... his and his path will be chosen by him... you and yours are in my prayers

Sometimes Nancy... **** just have to hit the fan before they actually want to pick themselves up... at this time you can only show him the right path, the tools to get there and pray... the rest is up to him...free will is a beautiful thing.. dangerous.. but it belongs to us... his will.... is just that... his and his path will be chosen by him... you and yours are in my prayers


Thanks Kato. It's helpful to have support. Hubby and I are going to let the chips fall where they may.

I am NOT letting this interfere with my summer plans with my eldest child.