If you've been listening lately, my best friend Adrianna is pregnant by my other best friend Blak. Me and Adrianna have been nest friends since pre-school, when her mother used to baby sit me. We went to school together, always stuck up for each other, and I beat up all her boyfriends who treated her bad (except Al, he would kick my ass). She was my first kiss when I was 7, and she went with me to beat up this guy who I thought was cheating with my ex girl (turns out he was gay). Now we're on the verge of adult hood, and she's going out with my other best friend Blak, whose been my boy since we were 13. Adrianna's in jail on attempted murder charges, which there is no way she's gonna be convicted on, and she's gonna move in with me till she gets her feet on the ground. Now Blak, a career cheater, was cheating on her last night with some ***** Joy and his estranged wife while she's pregnant. He's going to rehab next month for a whole year as a bargaining tool to keep him out of the 3-5 years he'll be serving for probation violation and weapons possession from earlier this month (See Catching up with The Asian Sensation). I always kinda had feelings for Adrianna, but they got stronger for some reason as of late. Should I do what I should've done years ago or should I just forget about everything and just help everyone out. This wouldn't be an issue if Blak wasn't cheating and wasn't a dickhead as of late. What should I do?

If I were you, I'd kill myself.
Didn't really read your post but still......





Really.

If I were you, I'd kill myself.
Didn't really read your post but still......
Really.
I thought about it, but I'm still convinced something goods around the corner that I should stick around for. But really, read the post.

Does this Adrianna know that your friend is cheating on her? If not, she probably has a right to know (in this case, the being best friends with her trumps the loyalty to your other friend, IMO).

If you decide to say something, that seems to be the logical place to start untangling yourself from this.

Does this Adrianna know that your friend is cheating on her? If not, she probably has a right to know (in this case, the being best friends with her trumps the loyalty to your other friend, IMO).

If you decide to say something, that seems to be the logical place to start untangling yourself from this.
I would've said something but she's pregnant and I don't want her stressing and ****. The way I see it is I'ma tell her when he goes to rehab and she's staying with me. It's crazy I know. Blak will be cheating on her like the last time he went to rehab and was cheating with a bunch of white girls. The thing is he'll probably kill me, but wtf, he's a piece of **** and she deserves better. I told her when we were 12 that she should just make it easier on herself and go out with me, but she didn't listen.

I would've said something but she's pregnant and I don't want her stressing and ****. The way I see it is I'ma tell her when he goes to rehab and she's staying with me. It's crazy I know. Blak will be cheating on her like the last time he went to rehab and was cheating with a bunch of white girls. The thing is he'll probably kill me, but wtf, he's a piece of **** and she deserves better. I told her when we were 12 that she should just make it easier on herself and go out with me, but she didn't listen.

That sounds okay, unless

a) She gets mad that you didn't tell her sooner.

b) The fallout from telling her isn't as bad as you say (i.e. you don't get "killed")

c) She doesn't think that the only reason you're telling her is so that she'll go out with you (sounds like you have a bit of a past there).

This sounds insensitive and naive but

sounds like you need some new friends. you seem to have your **** together but if you keep running around with druggies and criminals, you're hurting your chances of having anything but the same existence.

i know lots of people who have gotten their **** together, it usely involves changing your circle of friends.

talk to the two of them, first your boy Blak, explain to him that he has a kid on the way and should start to try to get his head straight and talk to Adriana and just cope with her right now.I would wait and see how things go when you talk to your boy 1st. If he still acts like a dickhead then go ahead and tell Adriana, but if you see him truly trying to get straight I would stay quite and let him bring it up to her

oh yeah and who is Al, the guy that can kick your ass?

That sounds okay, unless

a) She gets mad that you didn't tell her sooner.

b) The fallout from telling her isn't as bad as you say (i.e. you don't get "killed")

c) She doesn't think that the only reason you're telling her is so that she'll go out with you (sounds like you have a bit of a past there).
She will get mad at me for not telling her sooner, but she'll get over it and ****. I won't get killed telling her, I'll get killed by Blak for going out with his girl while he's locked up. It's not the only reason I'd tell her, I legitimately care for her. I simply hate what Blak is doing. And that little past wasn't really a past, I just always liked her but we were always interested in other people. It's always been her having another boyfriend that really complicated things.

oh yeah and who is Al, the guy that can kick your ass?
He could, thats why I never had problems with him.

This sounds insensitive and naive but

sounds like you need some new friends. you seem to have your **** together but if you keep running around with druggies and criminals, you're hurting your chances of having anything but the same existence.

i know lots of people who have gotten their **** together, it usely involves changing your circle of friends.
I can't hate you for being right.

But what should I do? Is it a bit late in the game, or should I just take a chance and go for broke? I agree this is something I could've done maybe 4 years ago, but these are the cards I'm working with now.

But what should I do?

Is it worth getting involved? I know this girl is staying at your place and that you two are friends, but maybe what you're looking for here is a way to get it so that she starts going out with you instead of your friend.

Sometimes even when people would be perfect together stuff just gets in the way. Maybe by this point it's too late to even try that.

Is this girl still going to be staying at your place when she has her baby? Is she looking for you to take care of it? That might make you even more involved than you want to be, taking care of friends' kid while they are a total mess.

Is it worth getting involved? I know this girl is staying at your place and that you two are friends, but maybe what you're looking for here is a way to get it so that she starts going out with you instead of your friend.

Sometimes even when people would be perfect together stuff just gets in the way. Maybe by this point it's too late to even try that.

Is this girl still going to be staying at your place when she has her baby? Is she looking for you to take care of it? That might make you even more involved than you want to be, taking care of friends' kid while they are a total mess.
It's not just that I want her to go out with me, it's also that I don't want her to be stuck out there as a 17 year old single mom while her cheating boyfriend is ****ing white *****es at rehab and ****. I don't really see me and her as being perfect together, I just want her to be safe and ****. I was gonna let her move in regardless of anything. But the fact that shes pregnant with Blak's kid makes it alot more complicated. I just want to make sure Adrianna's OK, because she has a long history of running into *******s.

But the baby will be fine, as Blak's family will help out with the kid. She was worried he'd slip out on her and she expressed that concern to me in a letter and I told her I'd make sure he took care of the kid.

Do I just let the cards play out as fate deals them? Should I tell Adrianna about the cheating? Should I just watch Adrianna till Blak gets out so he can manipulate her feelings further?

Do I just let the cards play out as fate deals them? Should I tell Adrianna about the cheating? Should I just watch Adrianna till Blak gets out so he can manipulate her feelings further?

Hard to say without knowing what your friends are really like. I don't think anyone wants to give you advice that would make things worse.

If you care about the baby than you are involved in what happens in their relationship one way or another. The stability of the baby's parents will definitely affect how he or she grows up.

Hard to say without knowing what your friends are really like. I don't think anyone wants to give you advice that would make things worse.

If you care about the baby than you are involved in what happens in their relationship one way or another. The stability of the baby's parents will definitely affect how he or she grows up.
Nah, that baby's gonna be all messed up. Both parents are big potheads, but I mean the baby's cool. Adrianna is a good person at heart, but she makes really bad decisions. She smokes alot of weed, is totally unemployable, and lacks the motivation to go back to high school. Blak is a former pothead, now alcoholic, with a long history of avoiding problems thanks to help from his family. He is currently on probation for weapons possession, and is awaiting trial for weapons possession, aggravated assault, and public intoxication. He is a spoiled brat with ridiculously good luck.

Nah, that baby's gonna be all messed up. Both parents are big potheads, but I mean the baby's cool. Adrianna is a good person at heart, but she makes really bad decisions. She smokes alot of weed, is totally unemployable, and lacks the motivation to go back to high school. Blak is a former pothead, now alcoholic, with a long history of avoiding problems thanks to help from his family. He is currently on probation for weapons possession, and is awaiting trial for weapons possession, aggravated assault, and public intoxication. He is a spoiled brat with ridiculously good luck.

That's too bad. Sometimes things suck and there's nothing you can do. You sound like you got yourself together enough to at least avoid most of that kind of trouble. Sometimes you can only look out for number one.

How's life at Sears? Clocked any of those idiot customers?

That's too bad. Sometimes things suck and there's nothing you can do. You sound like you got yourself together enough to at least avoid most of that kind of trouble. Sometimes you can only look out for number one.

How's life at Sears? Clocked any of those idiot customers?
I know what you're saying. But should I try and make a move on her? I usually stay out of trouble unless I'm around people who get me in trouble. I hate Sears, the customers think just because I work there I won't **** 'em up. I will beat they asses!

I know what you're saying. But should I try and make a move on her? I usually stay out of trouble unless I'm around people who get me in trouble. I hate Sears, the customers think just because I work there I won't **** 'em up. I will beat they asses!

If it's going to make things way more complicated, then maybe not unless your feelings for her are really strong.

Have you talked to your friend Blak about his cheating? Or is he the kind of guy who would blow you off, promise not to do it again, and that sort of nonsense. Maybe you should at least tell her about it or get him to. See what the fallout from that is like and go from there.

Also...if she makes as many mistakes as you say she does, would she make your life miserable as well if you started going out with her?

If it's going to make things way more complicated, then maybe not unless your feelings for her are really strong.

Have you talked to your friend Blak about his cheating? Or is he the kind of guy who would blow you off, promise not to do it again, and that sort of nonsense. Maybe you should at least tell her about it or get him to. See what the fallout from that is like and go from there.

Also...if she makes as many mistakes as you say she does, would she make your life miserable as well if you started going out with her?
I confronted him about cheating and he said "So I'm cheating on my girlfriend with my wife? It's not really cheating then." I have strong feelings for Adrianna but I'm really young and it could be a mistake like all the other times. My dad used to tell me not to chill with her because she was a bad influence, but I used to tell my dad that I'm no better. I have a much longer criminal record than she does.

I confronted him about cheating and he said "So I'm cheating on my girlfriend with my wife? It's not really cheating then." I have strong feelings for Adrianna but I'm really young and it could be a mistake like all the other times. My dad used to tell me not to chill with her because she was a bad influence, but I used to tell my dad that I'm no better. I have a much longer criminal record than she does.

Yeah, guess that makes sense that he'd say something like that, given what you've said about him.

Sometimes when you're as young as you are some things seem really important when in fact they're not that big a deal. Ten years from now you might barely remember this girl's name. Or you could be happily married. Hard to say, right? The thing is not to get too worked about something because there are a bunch of other things out there available to you if you look.

Here's a story that might help you: I was friends with my wife for a couple of years before we started to go out. I really liked her at the time but it wasn't mutual. The thing is too is that I was too cloying, and made my life revolve around her too much. It's easy for us guys to do that with women we can't get enough of. Anyway, I was a bit of a sap until I reached the point where I couldn't take it anymore. I started doing my own thing and didn't see her so much. Well, after all that, finally we started to go out, and now we've been happily married for five years. The thing is if you work hard to be a man and build your own life it's amazing how things come together. You devote yourself too much to other people's problems (my wife had issues, as well, that I got way too involved in) then you make yourself miserable and you'll never get what you're looknig for, anyway.

Yeah, I know what you're saying. I really just need to do my thing right now and not get involved in other peoples problems. I know its crazy. I need to do something else with my time. I told Juan that if he doesn't stop cheating, I'm really gonna have to tell her. He said that he would just talk his way out of it and it would fire back on me. And he's probably right. But thanks for the advice.

Yeah, I know what you're saying. I really just need to do my thing right now and not get involved in other peoples problems. I know its crazy.

It's not crazy. Happens to everyone.


I need to do something else with my time. I told Juan that if he doesn't stop cheating, I'm really gonna have to tell her. He said that he would just talk his way out of it and it would fire back on me. And he's probably right. But thanks for the advice.

No problem. Hope it all works out.

It's not crazy. Happens to everyone.
No problem. Hope it all works out.
Thanks alot man.

What will the girl do if you tell her that her boyfriend is cheating on her with his wife? I personally wouldn't tell her..

What will the girl do if you tell her that her boyfriend is cheating on her with his wife? I personally wouldn't tell her..
She is not exactly the most stable individual of all time. She would start going crazy in the juvenile detention place, would try to run away, and just lose her mind. I'm going to tell her when she gets out. By that time Blak will be in an alcohol rehab place for a year. He can't contact friends there, so it will be cool.

Well, Adrianna is being moved to a expecting mothers home in Newton, NJ. I talked with her today and we were getting along. She told me that when she started suspecting Juan was cheating on her, she told Juan that if me and her weren't such close friends, she would've gotten with me because she knows I'd treat her good. She was analyzing the reasons I'm not getting girls as well. She says my personality "is awesome", but I'm ugly (She likes to talk ****, she knows I'm sexy as hell). I talked to Blak as well, he told me that he liked her and would take care of her. I don't believe him, but I'm not going to intentionally sabotage **** for them because I'm too stupid to act on my feelings earlier. I'm going to let **** play out and see what happens from there. I'm going to spin the wheel on this one and see how it plays out from here.

Well, Adrianna is being moved to a expecting mothers home in Newton, NJ. I talked with her today and we were getting along. She told me that when she started suspecting Juan was cheating on her, she told Juan that if me and her weren't such close friends, she would've gotten with me because she knows I'd treat her good. She was analyzing the reasons I'm not getting girls as well. She says my personality "is awesome", but I'm ugly (She likes to talk ****, she knows I'm sexy as hell). I talked to Blak as well, he told me that he liked her and would take care of her. I don't believe him, but I'm not going to intentionally sabotage **** for them because I'm too stupid to act on my feelings earlier. I'm going to let **** play out and see what happens from there. I'm going to spin the wheel on this one and see how it plays out from here.

Excellent call. Keep her as friend. Relationship ****s **** up. Dont get her confused. She is still HIS girl, cheating or no cheating. Don't come in between. Let it all play out as you said.

Never ever get the girl from your best friend. You may know her for years, be real close to her and honestly love her but you don't do **** with your best friends gf. If he's not good to her, try to help her and tell him what you think bout it. But even if they break up you shouldn't try to start a relationship.

If I was him and you are the reason my gf splits up with me and starts a realtionship with you I'd beat the **** out of you.

Don't get me wrong pal, love is a strong feeling, but there are other girls. It doesn't have to be the gf of your best friend. It is an unwritten law for me.

I dont mean to be an ass, but it seems like your friend is damaged goods. I say help her anyway you can for the sake of your friendship and that only and forget about getting with her. Just my opinion though, and i know im a very rare type of guy.

Newsflash!

Adrianna was released from the shelter she was in following all her charges being dropped by Hudson County Juvenile Court. She showed up at my job and I bought her a pretzel and some McDonald's and chilled. Everything was going good until we went to this ***** Brian's crib. I'm not sure if things are gonna work out, but whatever. **** happens.

Never ever get the girl from your best friend. You may know her for years, be real close to her and honestly love her but you don't do **** with your best friends gf. If he's not good to her, try to help her and tell him what you think bout it. But even if they break up you shouldn't try to start a relationship.

If I was him and you are the reason my gf splits up with me and starts a realtionship with you I'd beat the **** out of you.

Don't get me wrong pal, love is a strong feeling, but there are other girls. It doesn't have to be the gf of your best friend. It is an unwritten law for me.
I hope he tries to beat the **** out of me. This way I can rid the ****ing world of him and have a high school named after me. The guys a piece of ****, I know he doesn't have my back, he's just the worst scum I've ever ran into. If anything happens, it's all his fault and he has no one to blame but himself. Plus, the mutha****as married. I don't follow his little rules he's set forth, I do what I want.

Excellent call. Keep her as friend. Relationship ****s **** up. Dont get her confused. She is still HIS girl, cheating or no cheating. Don't come in between. Let it all play out as you said.
Yeah I know. I thought about it really good, and I think I shouldn't try to get with her. First off, we have a relationship that lacks the most important thing: A strong foundation of respect. Second, she knows all my secrets and knows everything about me. BAD! Third, it would completely ruin everything between us. And fourth, she only likes black guys so I guess I suck. Thats life, it's either her or you. What can I do? Nothing.

Hmmm, If I were you, I would try to get with her, I mean you know everything about her, shes like a great friend. The good thing about dating real good friends is, you have history, plus if you break up, it won't be half as messy because you guys are friends. I don't know, whatever you feel right doing. I had a friend like that who was a girl when I was younger, my best friend, I planned on getting into a relationship with her when I got older, but she moved to Florida.
Good luck with your problem, I hope everything works out.

Hmmm, If I were you, I would try to get with her, I mean you know everything about her, shes like a great friend. The good thing about dating real good friends is, you have history, plus if you break up, it won't be half as messy because you guys are friends. I don't know, whatever you feel right doing. I had a friend like that who was a girl when I was younger, my best friend, I planned on getting into a relationship with her when I got older, but she moved to Florida.
Good luck with your problem, I hope everything works out.
I know, since shes my friend it would seem like a break up wouldn't be messy, but it would. We wouldn't be as close friends as we once were. Then there is the thing that our relationship seems to lack alot of respect, and I don't have a real plan for getting her absolute respect. Part of the reason we weren't friends for the first part of this year is because of the respect thing. There are certain things I just can't fix I guess.

I know, since shes my friend it would seem like a break up wouldn't be messy, but it would. We wouldn't be as close friends as we once were. Then there is the thing that our relationship seems to lack alot of respect, and I don't have a real plan for getting her absolute respect. Part of the reason we weren't friends for the first part of this year is because of the respect thing. There are certain things I just can't fix I guess.
does she have any feelings for you, that you know of?

does she have any feelings for you, that you know of?
Adrianna is a girl who, for some strange reason, absolutely abhors prosperity. She knows I would treat her good and all that other ****, but she wants a thug, which is some thing I'm not really categorized as. My big mistake was in high school when I embraced my misfortune through humor, which made me seem like a *****. Now, I refrain myself from talking so much and don't tell as many jokes because of that. My other problem was how nice I've been to her over the years. While she is my friend, she's still a girl. I don't have a real solution to reverse the damage I've done to myself, so I guess I'm ****ed. I don't know, I guess this is a replay of the Melissa incident. It's a stiff price I'm going to pay, but a lesson that I guess needed learning. I'm a book makers dream I guess.

This sounds insensitive and naive but

sounds like you need some new friends. you seem to have your **** together but if you keep running around with druggies and criminals, you're hurting your chances of having anything but the same existence.

i know lots of people who have gotten their **** together, it usely involves changing your circle of friends.
Not trying to be a prick Asian, but neils is dead on on this.

Not trying to be a prick Asian, but neils is dead on on this.
These are my last thoughts on the subject, as I feel all has been said on the subject. This is life, this is not a movie. Over my 17+ years, this notion has never been as clear as it has become in recent months. I don't expect a Hollywood turn around to occur, I expect to win when I'm expected to, and fail when I am expected to. This is one of those things I am expected to fail. I have no chance with Adrianna, so I should stop causing harm to myself with these foolish notions. Thats all I have to say on this subject.

Listen a friend of mine took my girl a couple of weeks ago and now i cant even look him in the eyes.

This you just dont do, its an unwritten law.

Still ive read what a bstard he is, and you must tell Adrienne.
I know its sucks to be the one telling.

And its very easy for here to end in your arms after she get crushed by the news, i ended upp **** wasted in bed with a friends little sister the weekend after i lost my girl.

Its so easy, is he so bad that you are willing to risk not to talk to him ever again?

Listen a friend of mine took my girl a couple of weeks ago and now i cant even look him in the eyes.

This you just dont do, its an unwritten law.

Still ive read what a bstard he is, and you must tell Adrienne.
I know its sucks to be the one telling.

And its very easy for here to end in your arms after she get crushed by the news, i ended upp **** wasted in bed with a friends little sister the weekend after i lost my girl.

Its so easy, is he so bad that you are willing to risk not to talk to him ever again?
I give up. This is insane. Ever since I was a little kid, I thought life was like some kind of movie, where the good guys always seem to win through some divine intervention or some ****. I had a lyric that I wrote when I was 13 about this girl that said: "I fail alone, my feelings made me pay the price/ Cuz the man that I am just could not suffice"
The fact is, I never ever could have a chance with Adrianna. The fact that she sees every card in my hand, knows my every trick and lie, knows my limitations and all that other ****, I might as well stop with this unhealthy crush before I really get hurt. I have the strange feeling that I've only begun to understand pain.

I give up. This is insane. Ever since I was a little kid, I thought life was like some kind of movie, where the good guys always seem to win through some divine intervention or some ****. I had a lyric that I wrote when I was 13 about this girl that said: "I fail alone, my feelings made me pay the price/ Cuz the man that I am just could not suffice"
The fact is, I never ever could have a chance with Adrianna. The fact that she sees every card in my hand, knows my every trick and lie, knows my limitations and all that other ****, I might as well stop with this unhealthy crush before I really get hurt. I have the strange feeling that I've only begun to understand pain.

Yeah, its hard but its the right thing to do.

This is going to sound very insensitive and rude. However it's probably best it be said. Your problems, while great in your eyes, are meaningless in others. There is an old saying, "90 percent of the people in the world don't care about your problems and the other 10% are glad you've got them." Hopefully this airing your laundry to an open forum is just mainly due to your age. And maybe you feel more comfortable telling people who don't know you. Never the less, as you get older I hope this habit subsides. People tend to look down on people who do this. Everyone's got their own problems. It's not that their unsympathetic to your woes, it's just that people who air thier problems usually just want the attention. The answers usually obvious, just as yours is. What do you mean what should you do, you know god-damn good in well your getting into nothing but **** hanging out with ****ing people spending time in jail, whether their guilty or not. Take the other guys advice and get new friends. You want to know where your going to be in twenty years from now? I'll tell you how to figure it out. Look at the circle of people you know and hang with and odds are that's exactly where you'll be.

Yeah, I finally made a move on her, and it wasn't to the best of results. We are still cool peoples and ****, its just difficult being around her sometimes because she is all I think about. I still want to be best friends with her like always, I'm just going to have to accept reality and move on. In time I think I will stop liking her, it's just very difficult right now.

It is unwise to start a relationship with a girl when there are so many complications and resentments. this Blak guy sounds like a real piece of ****. Rehab, weapons, cheating, and having two girls knocked up at the same time doesn't show a lot of character. If he is a man and takes care of his children it means he will always be a part of her life. You're a young man, you don't need this **** to be any worse than it is by dating her or being her friend if it makes you miserable.

Just chill, see what happens, take it easy.

This is going to sound very insensitive and rude. However it's probably best it be said. Your problems, while great in your eyes, are meaningless in others. There is an old saying, "90 percent of the people in the world don't care about your problems and the other 10% are glad you've got them." Hopefully this airing your laundry to an open forum is just mainly due to your age. And maybe you feel more comfortable telling people who don't know you. Never the less, as you get older I hope this habit subsides. People tend to look down on people who do this. Everyone's got their own problems. It's not that their unsympathetic to your woes, it's just that people who air thier problems usually just want the attention. The answers usually obvious, just as yours is. What do you mean what should you do, you know god-damn good in well your getting into nothing but **** hanging out with ****ing people spending time in jail, whether their guilty or not. Take the other guys advice and get new friends. You want to know where your going to be in twenty years from now? I'll tell you how to figure it out. Look at the circle of people you know and hang with and odds are that's exactly where you'll be.

i didnt know Dr.Phil posted on this site :D