ArjukanpoKarate
03-24-2004, 11:03 PM
LAW ENFORCEMENT OFFICERS
>
> WANTED: Good people for a thankless job.
>
> When you start your job, you get to wear only one color, blue.
>
> You work all hours of the day and night, and on your wedding
> anniversary, and on Christmas, and on the day your kid is the star of
> Miss Hanson's Kindergarten Ballet and Recital.
>
> When there are explosions, gun shots, or screams, you must run toward
> them.
>
> You must love children, even those shooting at you.
>
> You have to be able to separate a knife-wielding husband from his
> pistol-wielding wife, with no injury to anyone. Then when you arrest
> one, the other jumps on your back and pummels you.
>
> People curse you, you can't curse back.
>
> People hate you, you can't hate back.
>
> You have to be an expert in criminal law, a counselor, a negotiator,
> perfect at crowd control, a therapist, a marksman, a hero, a psychic, an
> expert in race relations, be able to deliver a baby, climb a rope, scale
> a wall, have the analytical intelligence of Sherlock Holmes, the
> sensitivity of Jesus Christ, and be able to hit like George Foreman.
>
> You can never lose your temper.
>
> If you give a driver a ticket for going 55 mph in a school zone, crowded
> with kids, the driver will demand to know why you're not chasing
> criminals instead of harassing respectable citizens like him.
>
> If you chase a criminal, and he pulls a gun, and you shoot him, it's
> your fault.
>
> And sometimes you're sued.
>
> If you chase a madman who's driving a car, and there's a crash, it's
> always your fault.
>
> If you don't believe it's your fault, just listen to the television news
> and read the newspaper reports and they'll set you straight.
>
> If you pursue, wrestle, handcuff, and arrest an armed robber, get
> bruised and bloodied, and forget to dot an "i" or cross a "t", a judge,
> a panel of judges, or a whole court of judges will tell you it's your
> fault and release a dangerous criminal back into the community.
>
> You have to solve major crimes in a day, or you're not doing your job.
>
> If you stop for five minutes for lunch, you're goofing off.
>
> If you accept a cup of coffee, you're on the take.
>
> If you answer a call for help by running to your squad and squealing
> your tires, you're a cowboy.
>
> If you get to the scene five minutes after the call for help, you're
> screamed at for not getting there faster.
>
> You have to know more chemicals than a pharmacist.
>
> You have to know more about chemical reactions in the human body than a
> doctor.
>
> When you break into a drug house, you can never forget to read Miranda
> rights to an assorted collection of scumbags who are racing for the
> doorways, shooting at you, jumping out the windows, punching you in the
> face, and running to the bathroom to relieve themselves of evidence with
> the aid of modern plumbing.
>
> If the criminals don't get rid of the evidence with a flush, a defense
> attorney will get rid of the evidence through motions that attack you in
> court, and of course, it's your fault.
>
> In hostage situations, if you shoot the hostage-taker, you're a killer,
> and if you don't shoot him, and continue talking to him, and someone is
> injured or killed, then you're indecisive and stupid.
>
> You're unpopular. All the time. Every hour of every day. Until
> someone needs you.
>
> Pay isn't great. Hours are ridiculous. And you probably won't get a
> summer vacation until you're on the job 20 years.
>
> Now, if you're still interested in becoming a cop, you can immediately
> apply because three fine officers unexpectedly lost their jobs recently.
>
> September 7: Milwaukee Police Officer William Robertson, 31, was shot to
> death by a sniper with a high-powered rifle.
>
> October 28: Glendale Police Officer Ronald E. Hedbany, 42, was shot to
> death in his squad car after he quickly responded to a call of a bank
> robbery in progress.
>
> And on Wednesday, Milwaukee Police Officer Michael Niehoff, 27,w as
> killed and two officers were seriously injured in a crash of squad cars,
> while answering an emergency call.
>
> One more thing we should mention about this job. You're unappreciated.
> Until you're dead. Then you get a parade.
>
> ALWAYS wear your vest.
> ALWAYS watch your back.
> ALWAYS check your equipment.
> ALWAYS watch their hands.
>
> Never give up.
>
> WANTED: Good people for a thankless job.
>
> When you start your job, you get to wear only one color, blue.
>
> You work all hours of the day and night, and on your wedding
> anniversary, and on Christmas, and on the day your kid is the star of
> Miss Hanson's Kindergarten Ballet and Recital.
>
> When there are explosions, gun shots, or screams, you must run toward
> them.
>
> You must love children, even those shooting at you.
>
> You have to be able to separate a knife-wielding husband from his
> pistol-wielding wife, with no injury to anyone. Then when you arrest
> one, the other jumps on your back and pummels you.
>
> People curse you, you can't curse back.
>
> People hate you, you can't hate back.
>
> You have to be an expert in criminal law, a counselor, a negotiator,
> perfect at crowd control, a therapist, a marksman, a hero, a psychic, an
> expert in race relations, be able to deliver a baby, climb a rope, scale
> a wall, have the analytical intelligence of Sherlock Holmes, the
> sensitivity of Jesus Christ, and be able to hit like George Foreman.
>
> You can never lose your temper.
>
> If you give a driver a ticket for going 55 mph in a school zone, crowded
> with kids, the driver will demand to know why you're not chasing
> criminals instead of harassing respectable citizens like him.
>
> If you chase a criminal, and he pulls a gun, and you shoot him, it's
> your fault.
>
> And sometimes you're sued.
>
> If you chase a madman who's driving a car, and there's a crash, it's
> always your fault.
>
> If you don't believe it's your fault, just listen to the television news
> and read the newspaper reports and they'll set you straight.
>
> If you pursue, wrestle, handcuff, and arrest an armed robber, get
> bruised and bloodied, and forget to dot an "i" or cross a "t", a judge,
> a panel of judges, or a whole court of judges will tell you it's your
> fault and release a dangerous criminal back into the community.
>
> You have to solve major crimes in a day, or you're not doing your job.
>
> If you stop for five minutes for lunch, you're goofing off.
>
> If you accept a cup of coffee, you're on the take.
>
> If you answer a call for help by running to your squad and squealing
> your tires, you're a cowboy.
>
> If you get to the scene five minutes after the call for help, you're
> screamed at for not getting there faster.
>
> You have to know more chemicals than a pharmacist.
>
> You have to know more about chemical reactions in the human body than a
> doctor.
>
> When you break into a drug house, you can never forget to read Miranda
> rights to an assorted collection of scumbags who are racing for the
> doorways, shooting at you, jumping out the windows, punching you in the
> face, and running to the bathroom to relieve themselves of evidence with
> the aid of modern plumbing.
>
> If the criminals don't get rid of the evidence with a flush, a defense
> attorney will get rid of the evidence through motions that attack you in
> court, and of course, it's your fault.
>
> In hostage situations, if you shoot the hostage-taker, you're a killer,
> and if you don't shoot him, and continue talking to him, and someone is
> injured or killed, then you're indecisive and stupid.
>
> You're unpopular. All the time. Every hour of every day. Until
> someone needs you.
>
> Pay isn't great. Hours are ridiculous. And you probably won't get a
> summer vacation until you're on the job 20 years.
>
> Now, if you're still interested in becoming a cop, you can immediately
> apply because three fine officers unexpectedly lost their jobs recently.
>
> September 7: Milwaukee Police Officer William Robertson, 31, was shot to
> death by a sniper with a high-powered rifle.
>
> October 28: Glendale Police Officer Ronald E. Hedbany, 42, was shot to
> death in his squad car after he quickly responded to a call of a bank
> robbery in progress.
>
> And on Wednesday, Milwaukee Police Officer Michael Niehoff, 27,w as
> killed and two officers were seriously injured in a crash of squad cars,
> while answering an emergency call.
>
> One more thing we should mention about this job. You're unappreciated.
> Until you're dead. Then you get a parade.
>
> ALWAYS wear your vest.
> ALWAYS watch your back.
> ALWAYS check your equipment.
> ALWAYS watch their hands.
>
> Never give up.