OK, so as the tale goes it was a chilly wednesday night, and I had just been cut from the ranks of the McDonalds staff and had nothign to do until 8 because I had to pretend for my parents that I was actually working. This whole time from about 4:30 on I was holding the beginnings of one of the most monstrous ****s on God's green Earth. So I go to Hooksy's with Justin for some all-day-breakfast, then drop him back off at home, talk to Niby and we drive up to Fox's so they cna smoke bowls and play basketball. I was gonna drop a deuce at Fox's but some one was using the upstairs facilities and I didn;t feel like goin downstairs to crunch so I waited it out. By the time I cleared the area, it was time to go so I figured 'Ah what the hell I'll **** in the park'. So I grab some TP stuff it in my pocket and we roll out to a park. The two meatheads sat in the car watching me **** more or less, and I thought I had dropped a solid turd, so I wiped my ass to the best of my ability as I crouched in the snow, then climbed into my car and headed down to the gym. Now, I should note that at this point something wasn't right in my pants so when I got to the gym and got out of the car I thought I felt some leftover TP in my bunghole. So as I stand alone (I hope...) in the parking lot, I reach down my crack to see what my good friend the **** Fairy left me, and to my horror instead of some brown wrinkled toilet paper I pulled out a piece of **** from my ass crack. I immediately threw it into the snow and frantically grabbed some tissue form the car and wiped my ass praying that no one was looking. Anyhoo, I'm quite embarassed and figure I reak of ass and am considering going home, but that's the ***** way out. So I head on in and change,m checking my pants to find clean underpants. I'm streak-free and ready to go. But as I begin to walk out of the change room I feel that squicnhy feeling again and think to myself 'Oh God... THERE'S MORE'. So I book into a stall and begin the tedious process of removing copius amounts of feces from my ass hair (somehow it got tangled in there GOOD.) It took em approximately 10 minutes to wash out this disgrace and I had now soiled my undies with a few beauty brown streaks so I had to change those bad boys. Anyways, after I washed the **** off of my hands I was about to go home crying, but I perservered. And THAT is why you NEVER **** behind a green box in a park.

Yeah I'm a big guy and my ass is always hanging out so I make sure to wipe extra hard.

I went through a phase of showering after almost every turd...now I wax my ass hairs

This is the best thread in a long time!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I haven't laughed that hard in a LOOOOOOOOONG time.

I don't mean to have fun at your expense, but I can't help it.:lol1:

Poor Luke.......

Wait a second, you got fired from McDonalds?

Originally posted by Allan the Magic Goose
Poor Luke.......

Wait a second, you got fired from McDonalds?

No, I quit really suddenly and my manager who I got along wiht really well was kinda pissed and disapointed and cancelled my remaining two weeks of shifts I think as a way to try and get me not to quit.

You could always try to get a job at Wal-Mart. They'll hire anybody.

HAHAHAHHAAHAHAHAHA!!! I love ****scapades!!!

Originally posted by LukeDothSucketh
OK, so as the tale goes it was a chilly wednesday night, and I had just been cut from the ranks of the McDonalds staff and had nothign to do until 8 because I had to pretend for my parents that I was actually working. This whole time from about 4:30 on I was holding the beginnings of one of the most monstrous ****s on God's green Earth. So I go to Hooksy's with Justin for some all-day-breakfast, then drop him back off at home, talk to Niby and we drive up to Fox's so they cna smoke bowls and play basketball. I was gonna drop a deuce at Fox's but some one was using the upstairs facilities and I didn;t feel like goin downstairs to crunch so I waited it out. By the time I cleared the area, it was time to go so I figured 'Ah what the hell I'll **** in the park'. So I grab some TP stuff it in my pocket and we roll out to a park. The two meatheads sat in the car watching me **** more or less, and I thought I had dropped a solid turd, so I wiped my ass to the best of my ability as I crouched in the snow, then climbed into my car and headed down to the gym. Now, I should note that at this point something wasn't right in my pants so when I got to the gym and got out of the car I thought I felt some leftover TP in my bunghole. So as I stand alone (I hope...) in the parking lot, I reach down my crack to see what my good friend the **** Fairy left me, and to my horror instead of some brown wrinkled toilet paper I pulled out a piece of **** from my ass crack. I immediately threw it into the snow and frantically grabbed some tissue form the car and wiped my ass praying that no one was looking. Anyhoo, I'm quite embarassed and figure I reak of ass and am considering going home, but that's the ***** way out. So I head on in and change,m checking my pants to find clean underpants. I'm streak-free and ready to go. But as I begin to walk out of the change room I feel that squicnhy feeling again and think to myself 'Oh God... THERE'S MORE'. So I book into a stall and begin the tedious process of removing copius amounts of feces from my ass hair (somehow it got tangled in there GOOD.) It took em approximately 10 minutes to wash out this disgrace and I had now soiled my undies with a few beauty brown streaks so I had to change those bad boys. Anyways, after I washed the **** off of my hands I was about to go home crying, but I perservered. And THAT is why you NEVER **** behind a green box in a park. I will offer you $50 for your **** stained underwear

Originally posted by Wushu
I will offer you $50 for your **** stained underwear

They're washed now sorry.

Originally posted by Wushu
I will offer you $50 for your **** stained underwear

****! Wushu is one sick broutha...



Don't ever change.