Hey Zen, did you check things out with your son's teachers?

We've had a few conferences. He just refuses to take any responsibility and pride for his work. He just doesn't seem to care, and my wife and I just don't know where to go. We're taking him to the doctor to talk about the possibility of learning disabilities, add or adhd. Hopefully he will grow out of this with time, but right now it is extremely frustrating. The thing that bugs me the most is that I know he's incredibly intelligent, if he was stupid, I don't think I would get as upset about it as I do.

He sounds JUST LIKE MY SON!! I feel for you and your wife. I don't think that you make them care about school. I've gotten to the point of: ok, if that's how you feel, then no license until you're 18. That hurts him because he loves cars. But he can't see that far in advance. Kids like ours don't "see" the future. They can't see being all grown up and being what they want to be. They live for the now, which isn't a bad thing, but it's not all good either.

It's hard for us to "see" how they "don't see" the future because it's so simple for us. I've read until I'm blue in the face, but I still can't understand him. I've tried. So I give him time to study, a place to study and consequences if he doesn't study.

You can lead a horse to water, but you can't force him to drink.

That is so true, and he's at an age where I'm not gonna sit by and watch him do every bit of homework that he has. It's not my education, it's his. And living in the moment, that's so true, he's the socialite of the class, just wants to talk and joke. More worried about who he's gonna play with and what he's gonna do is much more important to him than doing homework.

I agree with you. I tried going to school with my son in the 6th grade. It worked only if I was there. It also embarassed him for the first few days, but then he got over it. I don't do anything other than check to see that he did his homework. I don't check to see if it's right unless he asks me. I only check to see if he did it so I can say "you did it, where is it" when he doesn't turn it in. He'll do it and NOT turn it in....where's the sense in that??

I'm dealing with the exact same thing. Let me guess there's an excuse for everything. If he doesn't bring something home to get signed, it's the teachers fault. Than he'll go back to school and say it's our fault. I check his homework, and I usually go over it, but I've decided to stop doing that, because he just wants me to tell him what's wrong, so he can fix it, so in a way it's almost like I'm doing his homework. What's he gonna learn from that? That anytime he does something wrong, me or his mom are gonna fix it? I've tried telling him it's his education, and if doesn't graduate from high school until he's 21 or 22, it's not my fault. If he has to work at WalMart or a factory, it's his fault for not educating himself and doing what he's capable of. I'm trying to do everything I can to help him perform better, but he doesn't want help.