View Full Version : Jokes


nance
01-06-2004, 11:26 PM
WHY IS IT THAT WE HAVE TO SPEAK ENGLISH.

An officer in the U.S. Naval reserve was
attending a conference that included admirals
from both the U.S. Navy and the French Navy.

At a ****tail reception, he found himself in
a small group that included personnel from both
navies.

The French admiral started complaining that -
Whereas Europeans learned many languages,
Americans learned only English.

He then asked: "Why is it that we have to
speak English in these Conferences rather than
you speak French?"

Without hesitating, the American Admiral
replied: "Maybe it's because we arranged it so
you did not have to speak German."

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

A hunter hears that the bear hunting in Montana is really great so he heads up there to try to get his first bear. After three days of tracking, he suddenly spots a huge grizzly. He sights in and fires. When the smoke clears, there's no bear. Suddenly, he feels a tap on his shoulder. He turns around to find the bear looking him in the eye. The bear says, "You have two choices. You can try to run and I will catch you and maul you to death, or you can come back to my cave with me, where I will make love to you like only a grizzly can do." The hunter sees no option and goes to the cave with the bear. He heads back home a broken and humiliated man.
By the next year, though, he has regained his courage and decides to go back and get his revenge on the bear. Again, he tracks the bear for three days, sights him in a clearing, aims and shoots. When the smoke clears, no bear. Again, there is a tap on his shoulder and he turns to hear the bear say, "OK, you know the drill." Again, he heads home a broken, humiliated man.
The next year, he heads back, bent on finishing the job. He tracks for three days, finds the bear, aims, shoots. When the smoke clears, no bear. The familiar tap on the shoulder follows. This time the bear just looks at him and smiles and says, "You don't really come here for the hunting, do you?"

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Stain
01-06-2004, 11:30 PM
Why did Michael Jackson hold his baby over the balcony?

To shake the cum off

realkaps
01-06-2004, 11:32 PM
Q: What's the difference between Michael Jackson and a grocery bag?
A: One is white, made out of plastic, and dangerous for kids to play with and the other you carry your groceries in.

realkaps
01-06-2004, 11:32 PM
Q: What did the man on the beach say to Michael Jackson?
A: Get out of my sun!!

Stain
01-06-2004, 11:34 PM
Whats the difference between Coca Cola and Michael Jackson?

Coca cola doesnt come in white cans

Stain
01-06-2004, 11:34 PM
whats the difference between michael jackson (the word "priest" can also be used here) and acne?

Acne doesnt come on your face till you're 13