There's a lot more going on in my life right now than I wanna talk about on an open-forum basis. A few of the peeps I thought I could confide in on this basis (no one here) completely sold me the **** out, so I'm gonna reserve the details for those who care enough about em to ask personally.

Truth is, I ain't doin anyone any favors by bein around right now. I'm headed into a very uncertain time in my life right now, every single aspect of my life is about to change. It has me in a very dynamic and unhealthy frame of mind about pretty much everything. I've been asked to endure the problems of others, I've been asked to help others, I've been asked to comfort and care for others... and in close to 7 years, I've done almost none of this for myself.

It's frustrated some of you, too... down to the point of actually having the nerve to **** on me because I wasn't there to listen to you a particular time, or put the respective ball of our friendship "in my court"... and who can say you're to blame? I've been withdrawn, I don't return phonecalls, sometimes I simply am there one second and gone the next. Most of the time I'm not there at all... and while I accept fault for that, it doesn't make those of you who haven't seen the "why" behind it all any less of the uncaring, self-centered *******s I see ya as. I love you, but ****... you piss me off. I can ****ing assure you that your worst day in the last 5 years was probably tantamount to my best day in the last 6 months (save the day I met my current girlfriend). I don't wanna hear anymore **** about why I'm not around or when I'll be back. If you choose to understand, fine. If you don't, even better. With the friends I have that have stuck by me and understood all along, and the quality people they are, it's really just one less phonecall to return when one of the darkest periods I've ever seen in my entire ****ing life is over.

That last paragraph doesn't apply to everyone... but to a select few, who have no doubt in their mind that it applies to them... just know I'm sayin that **** outta love, not hate. And to everyone my last little rant didn't apply to... you all know I'm gonna be back. And you all know how much I miss you. I need to see things through in my own life before I can get back to being the person I wanna be for all of you, and that's the bottom line. This, right now, isn't the Hojak you know. That's all I can really say.

Later guys.

I'm not going to insult your intelligence by saying "It will all get better" or some other such empty line. But make yourself a priority for a while, sort your **** that you can and make your time as good as it can be.

Sad part is, regardless how much we do for others, we will always have to be our own best friends before anyone else can help us out.

All the best

So you are breaking up with me! :(



Seriously, you'll get through it you are Dave Hojack man.

well i always give you hell for never being around but that's just cause i like ****in with you. i'm pretty sure you knew that. if i was serious about your integrity then you would know it. not over an internet board, not over aim, phone, but in person. instead, the last time i saw you i bbq'd for you and yer lady and we all partied together and had a blast.

so if that middle paragraph is applied towards my direction then let me be the first to kindly instruct you not to lash out on people for not understanding your hardships when you never talk about the hardships that you're going through. don't expect people to understand the unknown because- NEWS FLASH- we're not psychic. and CERTAINLY don't make statements about telling us that if we don't understand that it's no big deal to you, no problem to write us all off, one less phone call to return, and then have the odasity to say that it's all outta love.

sorry yer goin through **** but i've said it from the start: it's not where you stand but in which direction you move. that's what tells yourself and the rest of the world what type of person you are. i come into this thread and see this "i've been gone, if you don't like it then **** off" message directed towards everyone. just because people aren't vocal about issues doesn't mean that they don't have em.

so i sure as hell hope that you're not directing that to me because i've done everything in my power to be the best person i can for you and everyone else in my life that i consider my friend. if you got issues and obviously wanna deal with them without us all then, cool, hollar me up someday when you're feelin better.

Understandable.

I like Dave. He's nice.

Hope things get better

God Bless Dave. You have my number if you need to talk. But you have to make the call. Purity is right. Few of us have really known what's up with you. Last I heard from you, you were supposed to meet us somewhere and you never called. My son was the most disappointed along with the girls. What is one supposed to think or know if you don't let us know. You don't have to say much, just that you are having a rough time. That's enough for me. But when you don't show up and you don't call to say why and you don't contact later, what is one supposed to think?? Not cool in my book.

Hope **** works out for you, Dave. Been a ****ty time for me as well (not trying to compare or trivialize), so I can understand a bit of the stuff you have to say.

Just try to keep moving forward, bro.

It is in your darkest hours bro that you will find light in the people who care and love you most:)

look to them to carry you through the hardest times if you need it.

The darkest times forge you into a stronger person.... like gods putting you on his anvil and making you harder for something bigger or better.

i hope you stay strong bro your in my thoughts and prayers.

Well Dave I saw you tonight and you seemed shut down. I feel for you man I see what it's doing to the ones you love the most right now. If you need to talk you can always call me or Jarrod. If you just need a place to hang out and do nothing, not talk, fine well make something to eat and watcch a movie. Whatever, but plz remember that we can't be there for you if all you tell us is everything is just fine, when it's not. We will be there for you anyway as best we can at least know that. We love you dude.

Jake here.

I felt that this thread was worthy of a one time posting to one of my best friends. So please, no reprisals against this account ok?

I know this was directed at me. The fact our conversations were quoted numerous times indicated that. I thought we straightened this out but the fact this was posted here today seems to indicate this issue is not dead and buried as obviously I touched a raw nerve.

For the record, I didn't even read this post until Arju pulled it up. If you want to get my attention, Ironlife works better for me these days.:)

Several people have encapsulated my thoughts on this rather well. Infact, Purity's post, if you read very carefully, almost word for word, sums up my position. Infact, even what we talked about tonight is in his post.

You have a lot of friends here BRO. And I don't mean the Internet smacktalk kind of friends either. I mean the kind that help you move bodies. Real friends. You've been there for us when we needed support. So how about you come to us when you need help? Friendship is a two way street - and it's evidenced by the fact that there are people here who still genuinely care for you and worry about you and forgive you for when you weren't there for them. Whether it was me or MadcrewMom, it's not the point. The point is, everyone you thought was a friend, at least as far as I know, is still your friend, and still waiting by your side ready to pick up your load when you falter and cannot go any further.

God knows it can't be easy trusting people. If I had been burned as many times as you have in your lifetime, I wouldn't be able to easily either. But if you really value the friends you got, or you really want to make the friendship count for something, then you gotta put your life into another person's hands sometimes and watch them put theirs in yours. That is what makes a friendship.
This applies to relationships too. If you don't open yourself to the love that your friends and loved ones offer, then you will never find true happiness and peace. Conversely you open yourself to a world of pain, but hey, it's a two edged sword. Is it worth it? Give me a hell yeah.

That said to say your **** is more important or harder to deal with than anyone elses is judgemental. All stress is relative to the individual. There was a time when my hardest decision was, as a friend once said, was whether there was coke or pepsi in the fridge. Now I can honestly say I know better. But in all that time, not once would I ever presume that my problems were deeper or worse than anyone elses. Especially when I couldn't comprehend the situation at hand. The only thing I would ever hold anyone to is their word, and if they give it I expect them to uphold it. If they break it, and it does happen (as people do let others down), then all I would ever ask for is a reason, an apology or a phonecall. I presume this post is that apology. If I have ever seemed judgemental of you, then I guess it is because I hold you to a higher standard than I do most people. Take that as a compliment.

Anyway, I'm tired and this has been enough rambling. If you do decide to share your burden, and this has been said enough already, you know how to reach me, day or night.

- J.

I'm praying for ya Ghost.........

Originally posted by GhosT^x0
There's a lot more going on in my life right now than I wanna talk about on an open-forum basis. A few of the peeps I thought I could confide in on this basis (no one here) completely sold me the **** out, so I'm gonna reserve the details for those who care enough about em to ask personally.

Truth is, I ain't doin anyone any favors by bein around right now. I'm headed into a very uncertain time in my life right now, every single aspect of my life is about to change. It has me in a very dynamic and unhealthy frame of mind about pretty much everything. I've been asked to endure the problems of others, I've been asked to help others, I've been asked to comfort and care for others... and in close to 7 years, I've done almost none of this for myself.

It's frustrated some of you, too... down to the point of actually having the nerve to **** on me because I wasn't there to listen to you a particular time, or put the respective ball of our friendship "in my court"... and who can say you're to blame? I've been withdrawn, I don't return phonecalls, sometimes I simply am there one second and gone the next. Most of the time I'm not there at all... and while I accept fault for that, it doesn't make those of you who haven't seen the "why" behind it all any less of the uncaring, self-centered *******s I see ya as. I love you, but ****... you piss me off. I can ****ing assure you that your worst day in the last 5 years was probably tantamount to my best day in the last 6 months (save the day I met my current girlfriend). I don't wanna hear anymore **** about why I'm not around or when I'll be back. If you choose to understand, fine. If you don't, even better. With the friends I have that have stuck by me and understood all along, and the quality people they are, it's really just one less phonecall to return when one of the darkest periods I've ever seen in my entire ****ing life is over.

That last paragraph doesn't apply to everyone... but to a select few, who have no doubt in their mind that it applies to them... just know I'm sayin that **** outta love, not hate. And to everyone my last little rant didn't apply to... you all know I'm gonna be back. And you all know how much I miss you. I need to see things through in my own life before I can get back to being the person I wanna be for all of you, and that's the bottom line. This, right now, isn't the Hojak you know. That's all I can really say.

Later guys.

hi.

Mr. Self Destruct
Joined: 28 Dec 2003
Posts: 140

Originally posted by Ghost^x0
Attn: Everyone who quits / leaves websites and boards

Typing a different URL into your browser as you meander away in front of your 500 MHz ****box anyway is no sure method of resolving whatever it is that has you thinking that avoiding one website on the internet is solving a ****ing thing.

Ponder.

Thanks,

- The GhosT

Originally posted by GhosT^x0
Name's Dave. My internet alias is GhosT^x0 everywhere I go. I don't believe in aliasing an alias. One person, one name. Anything less is unoriginal, insecure and deceitful. Be yourself. Good or bad, you should let your legacies follow you. Eventually, the decisions you make become the decisions that make you.