actual email that i just sent out to a client i just funded:

I just got in and received your message. Remember that you can always call me on my cell phone if I'm not in the office. I will contact title right away and find out what's going on. I've already received several email confirmations from my funding department that your loan was funded. In other words, the money has definitely left our building.
It shouldn't be taking this long to hit your bank's account so I'll see if I can find where exactly it is. Unfortunately I have no direct ability to speed up title work. We've been having some trouble with them lately and I'll definetely let them know that your account is to be PRIORITIZED.

actually it just funded friday afternoon. title probably doesn't even have it yet. lesson here folks: if all else fails, blame title :)

That brings back bad memories. How long has it taken so far..

well um.....













....err.............
















she thought it funded 10 days ago.

How did that happen?

Did you drop the ball on this?

kept ****ing around with appraisal final funding conditions. i kinda dropped the ball cause i shoulda had them met until waiting till the end. usually appraisers can send me my conditions quick but when i called, the ****er was out on vacation for a week.

i didn't want her backdooring me because she HAD threatened to do it a while back. so, unfortunately in these situations, you gotta bull**** yer way out.

Oh my God, you suck so bad.

You are the lawsuit king.

it's not my fault. i dunno who's it is but it's not my fault.

You should start selling Mary Kay..

would you be my 1st client? i bet you would :)

i'll make my pink cadillac license plated say ThanxAL

Of course. i would host a party and you could give us all makeovers.

who's "us"???

You could make me look less like a heroin addict in the mornings, and you could look Adam look more human.

Originally posted by Purity
who's "us"???

Do you know??? That's clear!! She and me...she loves me with passion and luxury.

I know, I know....I leave the thread, excuse me.


*Leather leaves the thread in silence and slowly*

we'll just transfer yer herion eyes to him. he's brown so it'll match. we'll also get some flesh-colored lipstick to tone down those dsl's and make em look like good-girl lips.

NO! Leave the dsl's they way they are!!!

Dont call them DSL's!!!!!

A ella le gustan los huevos grandes.

i'm sorry. i keep forgetting. from now on i will not refer to your dick suck lips as "dsl's"

better?

Is it dick suck lips? I thought it was dick SUCKING lips?

"suck" is past tense, present, and future tense whereas "sucking" is only present tense. so unless one is currently sucking dick then they can't have "dick sucking lips".

but then again "sucking" can imply direct responsibility for the noun.

either/or will work

ok, and i wont make fun of your slanty eyes and abnormally long cat-like hairs.

shut it women.

Right.

You have to sleep sometime. And change your name. You're a disgrace to it.

Originally posted by Green Iguana Queen
ok, and i wont make fun of your slanty eyes and abnormally long cat-like hairs.

but if you stop then i won't be able to make fun of your indented breastasis, big ass, or cankles.

LMAO@Cankles!

Originally posted by Aaron Bizarre
LMAO@Cankles!

damn. i thought the breastasis one was better

ive heard that one before. when you said Cankles I immediatly thought of the Crocop legs.

so thaaaaaaaaaaaat's why she likes cro-cop so much.

I don't have cankles.

i had never heard of the word until you told me you had em.

i asked you if you thought i had chubby ankles and you said yes.

i didn't say yes. i said that they were the same size as your thighs. then you told me to stop making fun of your cankles.












then i laughed.

the same size as my thighs!!???

I have skinny wrists and delicate fingers that look manicured, in a very classy, elegant yet manly way.

Originally posted by Green Iguana Queen
the same size as my thighs!!???

:-O

well just the south side of your thighs. when thigh starts turning into ass then we gotta whole different catagory of size.

do don't worry :)

you have freakishly small girl hands.

Originally posted by Green Iguana Queen
you have freakishly small girl hands.

they still mummify victims via packaging tape pretty quick.

I'll never forgive you for that.

Packing tape? I want to hear this story

that's ok. i forgave myself about 5 minutes after it happened :)

He can tell you.

There would have been pictures, except that three grown men didnt realize you may need to take a lense cap off before snapping a picture..

Originally posted by Green Iguana Queen
He can tell you.

There would have been pictures, except that three grown men didnt realize you may need to take a lense cap off before snapping a picture..

I didn't think Tony and Adam would count as "grown"

well just be happy that it didn't get tangled in your hair.

Originally posted by Creed
I didn't think Tony and Adam would count as "grown"

this coming from johnny overgrown himself.

Sounds like some sorta new fangled orgy. Why can't you kids just **** the old fashioned way? You know, with the lights off. None of this perverted stuff. Jesus dosen't love perverts.

is that why he stole yer hotrod?

Yes.

On another note, Pantera ****ing rock. "Becoming" has to be one of my favorite Pantera songs of all time.

now there's a smart pervert. "strength beyond strength" also kicks ass!

I want anal.

I';g 41 tegila....11111 P#WND!!q1111

hi blue. how ya doin brotha

I was drunk yesterday.

i know. i was hopin you'd make some drunken dip****tish remark.

Apparently I couldn't even type. My office is kind of ****ed up too. You'd think I would have learned to not go back to work after getting ****housed.