Just let you guys know, it's gotten worse. He tagged our house on Halloween with Christmas Snow, wrote a bad word on the house, has been lieing consistently and has had just an overall bad attitude. His weekly progress reports show 3 F's, 1 D, 1 B & 1 A. Don't get excited for him on the A & B, it's PE and Art, respectively. Not too hard to get an A in PE..... Results of bad grades, no more cross country team. I liked having him that.

We have considered putting him in a residential care facility and decided against it. His head doc says that it will cost us too much money for too little result not to mention he will most likely come out resentful and hateful, moreso than he is now. I am at the end of my rope on this issue. It is affecting my daughters and what they do. I can't take him with me and so I have to get a babysitter for him since he cannot be trusted. It is my eldest's senior year and I want to make sure that I don't miss out on much with her since it's my last year with her as a "child". I am looking forward to her being a young adult, but will miss the child at the same time.

His daddy took him to TKD last week and flat out told him what he has been doing to me and how I felt. I don't like being with my son at all right now. If I show interest and/or affection with him, the next thing I know, he's stealing/vandalising, expressing a rotten attitude (like we owe him something) etc. He has since shown a better attitude, but something doesn't ring true. Either that or I have become so jaded that I can't see sincerity when it's right in front of me. It's sad.....I used to be so trusting. Now I can't. My day is always good until it's close to the time for my son to come home. I feel awful that I feel that way about him. I am so worn down that I actually look forward to TKD night because he's gone, even though his dad is gone too. :-(

Thanks for letting me vent....I think I chose the wrong time to get off my meds for depression......lol.

i got an F in P.E.

anywayz, same thing as always:
beat him

You can't go wrong with beating.

My mother beat me and it's not like I'm bitter or anything.

don't listen to her madcrew!! she never got beaten. just a lil scuffed.

Originally posted by Green Iguana Queen
You can't go wrong with beating.

My mother beat me and it's not like I'm bitter or anything.

So you like to be spanked;)

Southerners know about beatings. The whole neighborhood down here is allowed to beat you, and worse, they'll make you pick your own switch from the vine to beat you with.

Hint: The smaller ones DO NOT hurt less.

I would beat him...mmmm.. I'm not sure if I would do it, I haven't had "Aaroncitos" yet...

Originally posted by Purity
i got an F in P.E.

anywayz, same thing as always:
beat him

I've beat him, made him more resentful......more hateful. He's going to be one of these kids that blames his parents for everything wrong in his life.


My daughter is taking psychology and is telling me to make him walk home, don't do this, do that, etc......lol. I'm trying to hang in there.....beating are going to start coming again if he keeps pushing it. You have to know that I was abused as a child, by father, brother and mother, so I have a problem with beatings. Funny thing is, my mother beat me and didn't beat my brother.

i wish i could beat the neighbors kids. this lil ****er vince keeps trampling my plants. just one hard backhand is all i want. CRACK!! guarantee those plants will flourish afterwards.

Originally posted by Purity
i wish i could beat the neighbors kids. this lil ****er vince keeps trampling my plants. just one hard backhand is all i want. CRACK!! guarantee those plants will flourish afterwards.

When I planted my roses, I threatened the neighbors' boys so much that when their dad accidently weedwacked one of the rose branches, he stood far away from me when he informed me. LOL.....his wife and I are loving the roses......one of them are from her for my birthday....he had it coming and going....poor guy. In actuality, good neighbors, good kids. All accidental and the roses grow back.

Can you put up a fence?

Originally posted by Green Iguana Queen
Hint: The smaller ones DO NOT hurt less.
HAs more of a whip-like effect, plus they swing harder with the smaller switch cause they don't think they hurt as bad. I always picked a big switch so they would feel bad for hitting me hard with a big stick.

Walking home is good. I did it and It gave me some time before I had to deal with that how was school question that I hated.

im a southerner and i've never been ****ed up by a switch, belt, fist, palm, or back hand.

my life just sucks.

Originally posted by Green Iguana Queen
You can't go wrong with beating.

My mother beat me and it's not like I'm bitter or anything.

I got my ass beat and probably a better man for it and hold no ill will toward my parents.

Fifty years ago it was perfectly acceptable to belt the **** out of your kid if they stepped out of line.

Now, you can't do it because it will "build resentment" or we worry about "their feelings" or the parents will be branded as "abusive". It's a sorry state we're in. Other people have been telling us how to raise our kids rather than ourselves. Parents are taking the advice with professionals - some of which have no direct parental experience whatsoever, instead of listening to their instincts (which have served parents well for thousands of years, I really see no reason for that to change).

Result: parents today let kids get away with murder, don't get disciplined at all. Conclusion: kid perceives there are no consequences for his actions and his parents don't care about them.

I say ignore what these people have to tell you at this point MCM and go with your own instincts. You probably know your son better than they do, you know your family better than they do.
You have to take care of yourself so that you can take care of the rest of your kids and your husband.

Fact is your son does not outweigh all of them and he is forcing you to choose - to make compromises on yourself, your kids and your husbands. It's affecting all of you.

I know what I'd do if I had a son like that, but it's up to you really.

I think the Global community should take him out into an open field and beat the piss out of him for being so disrespectful to his mum & dad. :-)

- J.

God dammit Jake write a ****ing novel already.

PS: My parents used to hit me too. When I got older, they'd even give me the choice between belting or grounding. I have to say, I respected them more all for it, especially being given a choice.

- J.

Originally posted by Gman
God dammit Jake write a ****ing novel already.

Yeah well I feel it's an important enough issue than to craft something more than a single sentence reply saying "beat your kid, my parents did and I'm fine".

- J.

Yes but you make the mistake of thinking we care.

Like vulgar and his tapout threads
Me not getting laid
hockey not getting laid
Nobody cares anymore.









I'm just ****ing with you. I care, I care alot.

I hope your mum emails you a lot more.

- J.

I know you all care and that is why I come here to post. My joys and my sorrows. I agree that a beating would probably help. I am afraid of going overboard. I do not want to become the abuser like what was done to me.

I have come to the conclusion that no matter what I do, he's not going to pass if he doesn't want to. So, if he doesn't want to do his work, he doesn't get good grades. He doesn't get good grades, he can't participate in school activities so therefore, he can walk home from now on. It's about three miles, so he'll get some benefit out of it since he's gotten chunky the last few years.
His coach would love to see him bring his grades up so he could try out for the wrestling team. I'll support him in whatever he choosed to do, provided he changes his attitude and works for his grades. I've also accepted the fact that he is headed off to the continuation school and he will have to accept the fact that he will have to walk to and from there. They don't assign homework, so he's going to have plenty of time to walk. I don't care what he wants anymore. He's blown more than enough chances and those were his decisions. Hasta la vista mijo!

This is when church helps.

My parents used to hit me and let me tell you it doesn't always work.

My Dad used to beat the **** out of me. I don't mean spankings or anything. He thru me across the room once. He punched me on a regular basis and told me that if I told anyone he would leave and everyone would hate me. Not easy to convice a 7 year old of that. He beat me for probably close to 7 or 8 years without my Mother finding out. Once I was 12 or so I wasn't scared of him anymore. I just took it so he would leave my brother and sister alone. Also, it kept him paying the bills.

My Mother on the other hand, spanked me once, cried afterwards and said she was sorry. I looked at her and felt so bad. I made my Mother cry. After that I never did anything to upset her

So while spanking can work, it all depends on how you use it

Originally posted by ruffneck119
This is when church helps.


He's going with his sister and her boyfriend.

Ruffneck - Church? WTF? No religion is gonna help if the little heathen doesn't have faith. If he can't believe his mother and dad care about him, you think he's gonna buy the resurrection??

Creed - there's a difference between getting a spanking, and getting abused. What you are describing is flat out abuse.

MCM - I understand you fear of disciplining your son and going overboard, but bear in mind you're then going in the opposite direction of a parent that is overly restrictive and/or abusive - by providing no direction. Without any order or discipline he will feel there are no consequences for his actions. So you have to find the middle road.

It's almost like it's a cry for attention of his behalf as I see it.

- J.

Originally posted by The Jake
Ruffneck - Church? WTF? No religion is gonna help if the little heathen doesn't have faith. If he can't believe his mother and dad care about him, you think he's gonna buy the resurrection??

Creed - there's a difference between getting a spanking, and getting abused. What you are describing is flat out abuse.

MCM - I understand you fear of disciplining your son and going overboard, but bear in mind you're then going in the opposite direction of a parent that is overly restrictive and/or abusive - by providing no direction. Without any order or discipline he will feel there are no consequences for his actions. So you have to find the middle road.

It's almost like it's a cry for attention of his behalf as I see it.

- J.

You are absolutely right on all counts. As of yesterday, he now has to figure out his own way from school.....it took him over an hour to walk 3 miles. He comes to me for love and sympathy (he was soo tired) but he gets none. You reap what you sow, he's not likeing it one bit. The hard part for me is acting as if I don't care. I do, but I don't show it. He still comes for hugs and kisses at night, so we shall see.