Bad morning. Fighting at home, busy at work with same old crap. Felt like beating anyone that walked in front of me to a bloody mess, was seeing red all morning.

Then I thought I need to do something about it. It was either a/ See the office stoner and scab some dope off him...haven't touched it in 4 years b/ go to pub for a beer or 5 or c/ jack off.

I weighed my options, time constraints and cash situation, and decided that option c was my only option.

I marched into the toilet, shut the stall door and gave myself two and a half minutes of solid spanking whilst images of the hardbody Greek chick in the office went through my head. After I made my mess, I immediately felt way better...I could face the world with a new found calmness...

I may well be back in there after lunch, but it could be worse. It has to be healthier than drinking or drugs...and it is free...spank on people, spank on

...doesn't knowing someone on the forum in real life (ie. me) at least make you THINK before you write such perverted graphically horrifying **** down?

you love it !

are you going to break up with your woman? if so, ready a poloroid cam, get her to give you one last bj, take a picture and then post it on here so gman can get it up.

conversely...you could use a digital camera.

- m

ps. don't go for greek chicks, they put on 15lbs instantly after marriage and grow a mustache to keep their faces warm when they're 40. I mean, look at Vulcan...he was a girl once you know.

Jerking off is a sure fire way to calm down. I've been doing it alot lately. It has to be repeated many times a day to keep me relaxed. I pretty much jerk off every morning as soon as I wake up now. Been having alot of dreams about sex lately.

PS - If you have any extra confidence you can send me it would be appreciated since I seem to have misplaced mine and I need to get another women.

Seldom I can appreciate why you posted this thread to let us know you had a hard day and (incase we weren't aware already) a way we could relieve our stress. We feel your pain and hope you get through the day.

But lets not get carried away here. Guys should not be talking to other guys about the frequency of which they spank the monkey.

****.

- J.

I feel I am doing people a service here...as much as servicing myself.

I wouldn't go out with greek chick, but this one is surprisingmly tidy...she needs violation

Originally posted by seldomTap
I feel I am doing people a service here...as much as servicing myself.

I wouldn't go out with greek chick, but this one is surprisingmly tidy...she needs violation

Mate, don't forget your regret for not banging your bosses chick. Don't let regret get to you twice already! Proposition her over the copier!

- J.

hahaha...she has already been snaffled up by one of the other blokes here...good guy to, so it won't be happening

Originally posted by seldomTap
hahaha...she has already been snaffled up by one of the other blokes here...good guy to, so it won't be happening

Damn you and your conscience!

Your conscience is God's way of ensuring you don't have any fun dammit!

- J.

I am learning that it would seem...I have bene too well behaved of late

Get some E, take the office rotties out for the piss and go belt the sluts for a century, Pantsman style.

- J.

You are just like a good mate of mine that always triues to get me to hook up with any decent chick that wlks by so I can tell him all anbout it later! He is a dirty married guy as well!!

Originally posted by seldomTap
You are just like a good mate of mine that always triues to get me to hook up with any decent chick that wlks by so I can tell him all anbout it later! He is a dirty married guy as well!!

I'm just playing Devil's Advocate.

Besides, there's nothing I've suggested I know you haven't thought of/want to do already.

- J.

Apparently, I do that well...

My mind is way ahead, believe me...

seldom, when are you going to break your ***** off propper?

Originally posted by Magic Man
seldom, when are you going to break your ***** off propper?

Amen bro. In all the time I've known you she's been nothing but a headache.

- J.

Perhaps soon...complicated with house and all, so unsure of what will happen, where I will live etc, but if it has to happen...

Originally posted by seldomTap
Perhaps soon...complicated with house and all, so unsure of what will happen, where I will live etc, but if it has to happen...

I ****ing well told you the house would complicate ****. God knows why you agreed to it.... *grumble*

Get her to buy our your equity or some ****. That said, you worked for most of it IIRC.

- J.

yes, she has me somewhat by the proverbials it would appear. It isnok, I have been poor before, I like it!

Originally posted by seldomTap
yes, she has me somewhat by the proverbials it would appear. It isnok, I have been poor before, I like it!

Let us hope she's reasonable enough to give a fair split on the property and can just buy you out.

This gives you a reason to get out and travel again anyway.

- J.

we would probably sell it and split the profit...would be good as I would settle a lot of my debts

What would you do then?

Travel and bang all the ex Aussie game show hoes?

- J.

hopefully yes...apparently Adrianna gives head jobs for crackers now

Originally posted by seldomTap
hopefully yes...apparently Adrianna gives head jobs for crackers now

Groovy! Give her a chargin and belt one up Jennifer and Sophie Lee too.

- J.

Mick Molloy did Sophie Lee, he is a dirty bastard, i wouldn't touch her with Magics drawing pin sized knob

Originally posted by seldomTap
Mick Molloy did Sophie Lee, he is a dirty bastard, i wouldn't touch her with Magics drawing pin sized knob

**** off, you for real?? How do you know that?

Urk that's an ugly picture....

- J.

I read it in one of my Mums old gossip mags years ago...true story

Originally posted by seldomTap
I read it in one of my Mums old gossip mags years ago...true story

Damn... oh well at least it confirms what we've known all along, that Sophie Lee is a total slut :) hahaha :lol1: I mean we already know that Mick Molloy is a dirty bastard anyway....

- J.

I saw him live one night...funny man, but he semlt like he had been sleeping on the floor of a pub

Originally posted by seldomTap
I saw him live one night...funny man, but he semlt like he had been sleeping on the floor of a pub

Knowing Mick I wouldn't put it past him.

Damn it, I miss The Late Show.

Wish they bought it back dammit.

- J.

that was a golden time in Australian TV...indeed Champagne comedy

without jacking off i would have killed at least 10 people by now

Originally posted by seldomTap
that was a golden time in Australian TV...indeed Champagne comedy
The good ol' days when one could sit down to an evening of The Late Show and Hey Hey It's Saturday.... golden times indeed....

I was explaining to Arju the other day about that show and about Jackie McDonald. Do you remember how they used to play that song "Folks are dumb" every time she opened her mouth. **** it was funny watching everyone take the piss out of her.

- J.

Originally posted by DragonZero
without jacking off i would have killed at least 10 people by now

I'd risk that if one of thoses 10 was yourself

you'd be first on my list

Originally posted by The Jake
The good ol' days when one could sit down to an evening of The Late Show and Hey Hey It's Saturday.... golden times indeed....

I was explaining to Arju the other day about that show and about Jackie McDonald. Do you remember how they used to play that song "Folks are dumb" every time she opened her mouth. **** it was funny watching everyone take the piss out of her.

- J.

Glen RObbins (Uncle Arthur) must have got his hands on the Hey! Hey! audio box or something the other week cause he was using all those sounds on the Panel...classic

Originally posted by seldomTap
Glen RObbins (Uncle Arthur) must have got his hands on the Hey! Hey! audio box or something the other week cause he was using all those sounds on the Panel...classic

I used to do a mean Uncle Arthur impression... heheh....:lol1:

God I'd love to get my hands on that sound board... like the Samuel L. Jackson one!

- J.

I have no idea how he got it but it was funny as ****

This thread has taken an odd turn

Jake was aroused by my talk of masturbation, so he conveniently changed the topic...

If you would like to steer us back on track Creed, feel free...does jerking off help you ofcus or anything like that??

huh?


I guess not

Everone in my office knows that when I close the door I'm "relaxing".

You gotta let go some time. It's not good keeping all of it in.

Masturbating to relieve tension is not exactly a new concept...

Masturbating to relieve tension is not exactly a new concept...

No, it started in 2003.

you'd be first on my list
Didn't somebody say DragonZero is what 2nd II none called himself?