For putting up with me Saturday night, it's been crazy here......& heart breaking. I will be gone for a couple of days, after the other night, things got to much of a close call. I'm sorry I panicked, things got a little chaotic, even for me, lol. My older brother lives in Riverside, has about 7 acres with nothing around for a couple of miles, he has offered to take my oldest son in to get him out of the environment he is in here, I'm going to take him there & stay for awhile, it wouldn't be fair to just hand him over to my brother & not go thru it with him............

I will try to post from there when I get a chance. Jeremy came down to help, can't even tell you how much he helped, I even saw relief in my youngest son's eyes who is 17. It's not fun seeing someone almost die in front of your eyes.

After trying to find out what "things" were when I came on here, he dove head first thru a window. Was cut up, almost sliced his jugler. Lot of stuff in between, but you get the general idea.

Some people can "handle" their habits......... others can't. The ones that can't control it, usually wind up 6 ft under. I won't watch it happen though, I can't, it hurts too bad. I guess people that choose to do these things, don't understand how it rips the heart out of parents who see it, but can't make them stop. When a kid is little, they can be protected, when they grow up, it's hard, they don't want to be protected.............

Guess this sounds kinda corny to you guys, even now I am wondering if I'm just delaying things. But I can't give up, because I won't, I feel like I've gotta try to save him from "this" boogieman. I still believe anything is possible if we believe in it strongly enough................... & I'm counting on that.

Wish me luck? :)

good luck but you won't need it. You're too smart for luck.
everything will work out

Thank you Curly, sorta funny in a way....... I don't feel smart, I feel helpless. :)

everything will work out

Thank you too Ben. I'm not used to "losing it & spilling my guts" on the net like I did that night..... wow, what a first huh? LOL

its cool momma.

if you want you can always call me to talk. you can IM me or PM me for my # if you need it.

AIM: Mr Kakihara

God be with you and your sons, Momita! I've been praying and thinking of you all day.......take care of him and most important, take care of yourself! Love ya girlfriend!

don't worry momita if there's one thing i've learned in life it's that things have a way of working themselves out you just gotta have faith and know it will happen and it will

i wish the best for you and your family. riverside is real ****ty right now with the fires too. i am right up the freeway if you ever want to go get a drink (although i dont drink) or chill like penguins.

you also have a private message. w0rd.

I understand I think.

I've had similar things happen to my best friends, brothers of ex girlfriends, etc.

I don't know if this is relevant but the one thing I learned from all those messes was that if someone doesn't want to be helped, then they cannot be helped.

Make sure you son knows you and everyone else wants to help him and that he understands he has to help himself.

God bless

- J.