In Victoria's Secret

1. Does this come in children's sizes?
2. No Thanks. Just Sniffing.
3. I'll be in the dressing room going blind.
4. Mom will love this.
5. Do you have this with a Dallas Cowboys Logo on it?
6. No need to wrap it up, I'll eat it here.
7. Will you model this for me???
8. Oh honey, you'll never squeeze your fat ass into that!
9. 45 bucks?? You're just gonna end up NAKED anyway!!
10. The Miracle What??? This is better than world peace!!

...To A Father When Picking Up His Daughter For A Date

1. Now.. show me how you used to spank her.
2. Do you think she would put out if I told her that I loved her?
3. I just got my license today.
4. Five bucks says she's a D-cup.
5. You taught her to swallow, didn't you?
6. So, does your wife just lay there during sex too?
7. Hi. I'm Robert, but my friends call me 'Back Door Bob.'
8. I believe being sexually active since I was 12 has helped me mature.
9. Please come inside? Wow, you sound just like your daughter.
10. I feel like we both have something in common, she calls ME daddy too!

... To a Police Officer

1. Sorry, officer, I didn't realize my radar detectorwasn't plugged in.

2. I was trying to keep up with traffic. Yes, I know there are no other cars around. That's how far ahead of me they are.

3. Aren't you the guy from the village people?

4. Hey you must have been doing about 125 mph to keep up with me. Good job!

5. Are you Andy or Barney?

6. I thought you had to be in relatively good shape to be a police officer.

7. You're not gonna check the trunk. Are you?

8. Gee officer. Thats terrific, the last officer only gave me a warning too!

9.Do you know why you pulled me over? Okay, just so one of us does.

10. When the officer says "Gee son...your eyes look red. Have you been drinking?" You probably shouldn't respond with "Gee officer your eyes look glazed. Have you been eating doughnuts?"

ha ha ???????

As funny as crabs : - !

Crabs are hella funny so long as it's not me that's got them.

She needs to get laid.