When you've had an absolute "I hate my job" day, try this:

On your way home from work, stop at your pharmacy and go to the thermometer section. You will need to purchase a rectal thermometer made by Johnson and Johnson.

Be very sure you get this brand.

When you get home, lock your doors, draw the drapes, and disconnect the phone so you will not be disturbed during your therapy. Change to very comfortable clothing, such as a sweat suit, and lie down on your bed.

Open the package and remove the thermometer. Carefully place it on the bedside table so that it will not become chipped or broken.

Take out the material that comes with the thermometer and read it.

You will notice that in small print there is a statement:

"Every rectal thermometer made by Johnson and Johnson is personally tested."

Now close your eyes and repeat out loud five times: "I am so glad I do not work for quality control at the Johnson and Johnson Company".

Have a nice day and remember, there is always someone with a
worse job than yours. :)

hahahahaha

wonder how much that pays?

I appreciate the effort, but I'm past the point of no return. I'm ready for a revolution. A day will come when I don't have to go and do something I don't want to anymore, and when that day comes, I won't go and do something I don't want to anymore. Get it? Got it? Good? :)

Your Daily Moment of Zen (Modified to reflect contemporary wisdom):

1. Do not walk behind me, for I may not lead. Do not walk ahead of me, for I may not follow. Do not walk beside me either. Just leave me the hell alone.

2. The journey of a thousand miles begins with a broken fan belt and a leaky tire.

3. It's always darkest before dawn. So if you're going to steal your neighbor's newspaper, that's the time to do it.

4. Sex is like air. It's not important unless you aren't getting any.

5. Don't be irreplaceable. If you can't be replaced, you can't be
promoted.

6. No one is listening until you fart.

7. Always remember you're unique. Just like everyone else.

8. Never test the depth of the water with both feet.

9. If you think nobody cares if you're alive, try missing a couple of car payments.

10. Before you criticize someone, you should walk a mile in their shoes. That way, when you criticize them, you're a mile away and you have their shoes.

11. If at first you don't succeed, skydiving is not for you.

12. Give a man a fish and he will eat for a day. Teach him how to fish, and he will sit in a boat and drink beer all day.

13. If you lend someone $20 and never see that person again, it was probably worth it.

14. If you tell the truth, you don't have to remember anything.

15. Some days you are the bug; some days you are the windshield.

16. Don't worry; it only seems kinky the first time.

17. Good judgment comes from bad experience, and a lot of that comes from bad judgment.

18. The quickest way to double your money is to fold it in half and put it back in your pocket.

19. A closed mouth gathers no foot.

20. Duct tape is like the Force. It has a light side and a dark side, and it holds the universe together.

21. There are two theories to arguing with women. Neither one works.

22. Generally speaking, you aren't learning much when your lips are moving.

23. Experience is something you don't get until just after you need it.

24. Never miss a good chance to shut up.

25. We are born naked, wet, and hungry, and get slapped on our ass ... then things get worse.

26. The most wasted day of all is one in which we have not laughed.....................

so cheer up Zen! :)

12. Give a man a fish and he will eat for a day. Teach him how to fish, and he will sit in a boat and drink beer all day.


That had me laughing out loud. Thanks Momita, you rock, and I thank you for always being so positive, I could use about 50 more of you in my life.

Your welcome, I just hate to see people become discouraged. Life does get "blah" at times, been there myself a few times! The trick is to not stay in that moment..........& for the life of me I can't explain how to do that, LOL. It just "happens".

Then again, it has never been that hard to make me laugh, I used to worry I was a laugh addict, I love to see & hear people laugh. Sheesh, imagine me at a funeral................

13. If you lend someone $20 and never see that person again, it was probably worth it.

Very true.....

My friend has this in her profile on AOL:

"Give a man a match and keep him warm for a night, light a man on fire and keep him warm for the rest of his life."

"5. Don't be irreplaceable. If you can't be replaced, you can't be
promoted. "


that is my favorite. there are many more on there i like as well. awesome read, momita. i had a good laugh.

hahahaha.

i laughed alot