Since I gave up drinking and smoking I had to make some big lifestyle changes at the same time, stopped going to fav bars, parties, etc but still when there is an important event like a birthday or whatever that I need to go to people try to pressure me to drink or give me the third degree about why I am not drinking or why I wont just have one beer.

Are there any others out there that get the same thing and how do you deal with it?

I mostly have just avoided the social occasions which were normally just an excuse for everyone to get wasted, alot of people assume I am just being anti-social I suppose cannot accept that I am not into the party lifestyle anymore.

I just volunteer to be designated driver, then you have an excuse if anyone asks. But yeah I get pressured a lot to have a drink, it's not the only way in the world to have some fun. Don't avoid the situations completely though man, don't want to lose friends or anything like that.

my friend tries to get me to smoke weed ALL the time......even when i tell him i box and can't be doing that stuff he stills pressure's me....


i just try not to deal with those people

there are few things I hate more than people who define themselves by substance use. I do drink occasionally, but cringe everytime i hear "lets get ****ed up". I feel the same way sometimes of just wanting to avoid the situations, but there's definitely the dilemma of alienating yourself from your friends. If anyone gives me ****, i just try to brush it off and keep the inner satisfaction that I am a stronger willed person, which only means good things to come in life.

Since I gave up drinking and smoking I had to make some big lifestyle changes at the same time, stopped going to fav bars, parties, etc but still when there is an important event like a birthday or whatever that I need to go to people try to pressure me to drink or give me the third degree about why I am not drinking or why I wont just have one beer.

Are there any others out there that get the same thing and how do you deal with it?

I mostly have just avoided the social occasions which were normally just an excuse for everyone to get wasted, alot of people assume I am just being anti-social I suppose cannot accept that I am not into the party lifestyle anymore.

i used to have a problem with partying and criminal behavior.. when u realize it gives u **** for a life you need to make that change.. and after a while living that change u cant see yourself going back

Honestly if that person can't show you some respect for personal decisions that aren't hurting anyone else then they're not the kind of people I would want to be around

I just volunteer to be designated driver, then you have an excuse if anyone asks. But yeah I get pressured a lot to have a drink, it's not the only way in the world to have some fun. Don't avoid the situations completely though man, don't want to lose friends or anything like that.

Yeah I have alienated a few friends but I had to do it to break away from the old lifestyle, cant get away with the designated driver thing here as everyone just takes taxis they are so cheap,

This might sound harsh, but I've always believed your true friends shouldn't pressure you to do anything. They might offer you a beer, but if you explain your situation, them understanding and laying off should signal a good friend. If they're constantly trying to get you ****ed up, they're not your true friends.

Since I gave up drinking and smoking I had to make some big lifestyle changes at the same time, stopped going to fav bars, parties, etc but still when there is an important event like a birthday or whatever that I need to go to people try to pressure me to drink or give me the third degree about why I am not drinking or why I wont just have one beer.

Are there any others out there that get the same thing and how do you deal with it?

I mostly have just avoided the social occasions which were normally just an excuse for everyone to get wasted, alot of people assume I am just being anti-social I suppose cannot accept that I am not into the party lifestyle anymore.

the longer you stick with it the easier it will become. soon you wont miss it at all.....I give you a lot of respect man...

i had an Irish friend that used to always pressure me into that one last shot or beer. i used to work with him so it was even harder because he would always tell me to tag along to his house or to a bar to get drunk. sometimes i did but eventually i just stopped talking to the guy after constantly telling him drinking is cool in moderation, but not every damn time we hang out. havn't spoken to him a while, like 2 years. this was just a little after i started boxing, so boxing really helped me alienate those types of people. I drink very rarely, only at parties, and i hardly party because of school. maybe every 3-4 months ill actually drink with friends at a party or maybe just by hanging out.

boxing keeps me determined and focus on a goal, rather than chasing your tail hoping for the best, in boxing you can work your way towards accomplishment and be the best (or come close to). life is hard, and so is boxing, as long as you put hard work into both, long term gratification will follow you around.

Just posted in one of our numerous drug and booze threads about my story, but thought I'd add that I try to find people with the same interests as me, although it can be hard. Meeting new people is good, and that's something boxing does for me anyways.

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on a serious note, dealing with the adversity of not following the social norm (drinking, partying, etc.) is what straight edge is all about. you have to understand your commitment to living a clean lifestyle means you're the outcast. simple as that. straight edge is a rebellion.

pm me if you want me to hook you up with some straight edge bands. it'll get you stoked.

egon- you need to post more, dude.

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on a serious note, dealing with the adversity of not following the social norm (drinking, partying, etc.) is what straight edge is all about. you have to understand your commitment to living a clean lifestyle means you're the outcast. simple as that. straight edge is a rebellion.

pm me if you want me to hook you up with some straight edge bands. it'll get you stoked.

egon- you need to post more, dude.

great, so I now I am an outcast and a rebel, wow I might be able to rediscover my teenage coolness - do straight edgers have any particular ways of dressing? I want to get into the scene, are fugazi still cool?
should I buy a scooter and paint my fingernails black? where do straight edgers hang out?

i've got a similar story to yours. i used to drink and use but i just saw where it was heading. it's a hard, i don't want to say lonely but sparsley populated road. the clip below is bernard hopkins. although i don't really like him, i have a lot of respect for him and what he did with his life. go to about the 2:52 mark and listen to what he says.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=o__rbickWLs

Since I gave up drinking and smoking I had to make some big lifestyle changes at the same time, stopped going to fav bars, parties, etc but still when there is an important event like a birthday or whatever that I need to go to people try to pressure me to drink or give me the third degree about why I am not drinking or why I wont just have one beer.

Are there any others out there that get the same thing and how do you deal with it?

I mostly have just avoided the social occasions which were normally just an excuse for everyone to get wasted, alot of people assume I am just being anti-social I suppose cannot accept that I am not into the party lifestyle anymore.

i employ a similar strategy. i don't go to clubs, bars, parties, etc anymore. i mean, i used to party a lot. i feel that i have an advantage that i got that out of my system, while guys that started boxing when they were 8 and continue to live austere lifestyles through the amateurs into the pros, well they never got that out of their system and can fall into it later in life.

i went to a music school for college so i drank and smoked a lot of weed and got up to 220 lbs (i weigh 175 now). after graduating i started running 5 miles at least 4 times a week. i had been active before and an athlete at other times in my life, including a stint as the university of delawares men's freshman crew team captain, so i always knew how to get in shape and knew i could do it.

also, now i have a girlfriend so my whole objective of getting smashed and looking to hook up with different chicks has changed. now we can chill and watch a movie at home and chill and i'm totally content. i haven't drank alcohol since april and have only smoked weed like once since then (after i pulled my bicep, had to nurse some bruised ribs and my healing broken nose and subsequently had to stop training for about 4 days). i really am fine without it.

when you do a sport in which not getting hit in the face depends on having every bit of your lung capacity at your disposal, it is quite easy not to delve into old habits. if i get any urges, which are more and more infrequent these days, i just think of the last time i had my nose broken in sparring, and think, '**** that. that's not happening to me again" and the desire quickly fades.

great, so I now I am an outcast and a rebel, wow I might be able to rediscover my teenage coolness - do straight edgers have any particular ways of dressing? I want to get into the scene, are fugazi still cool?
should I buy a scooter and paint my fingernails black? where do straight edgers hang out?

i feel like sarcasm reached through my computer screen and punched me in the face.

like it or not, straight edge is synonymous with hardcore-punk. you can not drink, not smoke, not do drugs, and not be straight edge. plenty of people who have never listened to a judge album live that kind of lifestyle. but you're the one who used the words "straight edge" in the original post, not me.

painting your fingernails and dressing a certain way has nothing to with hardcore and punk, let alone straight edge. in fact i would say people who "dress the part" are the ones who don't understand the ideals and ethics that hardcore was founded on.

and fugazi was never cool. or a straight edge band. just an awesome band.

I've actually been straight edge since the I was 18. And yes, I've been into the whole hardcore punk thing (still am). I was friends with Earth Crisis and Refused, and a bunch of other seminal 90'ies straight edge bands. This was actually the reason why I was out of boxing for a long time.

That said, you can be straight, or whatever you want to call it, and have nothing to do with that stuff. I know lots of people past 30-35, who are still straight, and don't have anything to do with hardcore.

Straight edge was never considered cool, and never will be. People will always perceive you as a threat, if you're in a party type setting, and you don't drink. They will try their hardest to get you to do it, because it is the lowest common denominator in thinking, and someone who doesn't succumb to that makes people feel small. Over the years, I've found that just laying low in those situations is the way to go. Also, most of my friends are either on the same page (my fighters don't drink most of the year, for one), or know and understand who I am.

Since I gave up drinking and smoking I had to make some big lifestyle changes at the same time, stopped going to fav bars, parties, etc but still when there is an important event like a birthday or whatever that I need to go to people try to pressure me to drink or give me the third degree about why I am not drinking or why I wont just have one beer.

Are there any others out there that get the same thing and how do you deal with it?

I mostly have just avoided the social occasions which were normally just an excuse for everyone to get wasted, alot of people assume I am just being anti-social I suppose cannot accept that I am not into the party lifestyle anymore.

I hear you man, i stopped drinking, weed, cigs, speed and a couple of other things i did once in a while like 4 years ago.(3 years ago for the cigs)

Sadly most of my friends are either pot-heads or alcoholics, they know how i am when i drink and they know its for the best, but i always get the jokes when they are smoking weed but it doesn't really bother them. I get offered beers all the time at parties, people seem to think that i'm just shy and don't want to take their beer, but after a while they get it, i don't ****ing drink. At bars it's fine too if they tell me i have to buy something to stay in, i just give them 20$ and tell them to leave me the **** alone, i work as a bouncer and i get offered drinks all the time, mostly by drunk dudes who think i am their new best friends.

Honestly it's not a problem for me, while my friends are getting wasted, im spending my time hitting on chicks. They know im always there if something goes wrong and they are happy i'm sober. I don't keep myself from going anywhere.

Edit: You guys seem to have problems with being straight edge, i mean, if you have friends that won't hang out with you if you don't drink, maybe you should find new friends.

Keep strong man, my old set of friends nearly ruined my boxing career, i havent had a drink for 2 years and i dont have nothink to do with my so called friends.

I don't have problems with being straight edge. Sometimes people I encounter do. :)

i feel like sarcasm reached through my computer screen and punched me in the face.

like it or not, straight edge is synonymous with hardcore-punk. you can not drink, not smoke, not do drugs, and not be straight edge. plenty of people who have never listened to a judge album live that kind of lifestyle. but you're the one who used the words "straight edge" in the original post, not me.

painting your fingernails and dressing a certain way has nothing to with hardcore and punk, let alone straight edge. in fact i would say people who "dress the part" are the ones who don't understand the ideals and ethics that hardcore was founded on.

and fugazi was never cool. or a straight edge band. just an awesome band.

Yeah I was being sarcastic, I have always liked punk/hardcore music including minor threat who´s use of the word straight edge in the song of the same name in the 80s helped kick off the movement.

I just think the ´straight edge´movement is or was a bit of a wank, I used the term loosely.

I mean I and everyone else dont need to become part of a trend driven movement to legitimise not drinking or smoking and try to glorify it by calling myself a rebel and outsider.

Heres the song from 1981 by the way

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Personally, the straight edge scene has been a big part of my life. I've met some of the best people in the world through it, but also some of the worst.

Being straight shouldn't be for popularity, or to fit in, but because it is something you believe is better for you. Hence, it has nothing to do with a scene or a trend. Those losers will be gone sooner or later anyway.

In many respects, it's like boxing. You have to have discipline, and focus on the long term. It's easy to buy all the equipment in the world, or make youtube videos about how tough you are, but when it comes down to doing the work, the majority are found sorely lacking in substance.

Personally, the straight edge scene has been a big part of my life. I've met some of the best people in the world through it, but also some of the worst.

Being straight shouldn't be for popularity, or to fit in, but because it is something you believe is better for you. Hence, it has nothing to do with a scene or a trend. Those losers will be gone sooner or later anyway.

In many respects, it's like boxing. You have to have discipline, and focus on the long term. It's easy to buy all the equipment in the world, or make youtube videos about how tough you are, but when it comes down to doing the work, the majority are found sorely lacking in substance.

Thats fair enough I was using the term to just describe not drinking/smoking/taking drugs not to describe a music based lifestyle scene.

Thats fair enough I was using the term to just describe not drinking/smoking/taking drugs not to describe a music based lifestyle scene.

I agree with you, being drug free is a separate thing. :)

Hardcore anti-alcohol/drug people annoy me more than the AA crowd

IMO it's trading one obsession for another, what's the ****ing point

I think that if those that live a straight-edge lifestyle and those that don't just don't try to force their beliefs on the other, then there won't be too many problems. I've been straight-edge all my life and when I was 14 and immature I would try to prove to those using drugs and alcohol that they're stupid, wasting their life, and all that crap. Over the years I've come to find that I hate people trying to pressure me to do something, so I stopped trying to force my thoughts on others, even though I completely disagree with how they live their life.

If you enjoy what you're doing, and you think it works for you, then by all means. As long as you don't force anybody to change for you, I think it's ok. I don't approve of drugs, but I realize I'm not doing the person any good trying to prove he/she's a dumbass if they do abuse drugs.

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Hardcore anti-alcohol/drug people annoy me more than the AA crowd

IMO it's trading one obsession for another, what's the ****ing point

If you think about it, everyone is born straight edge. Drinking/smoking/doing drugs are all learned behaviors. This means that people who do these things choose to do so at one point, where people who don't do them, just continue to be who they've always been. It's not an obsession at all, any more than not jumping off ten story buildings is. For the record, I don't do that either, but it's not something I ever think about, except when I read about someone who did it. Does that make me obsessive?

no I mean the people that make it their life or yell it from the rooftops, I mean I think it's stupid to do too much but it's dumb to demonize the people, they can do whatever the **** they want with their own life

no I mean the people that make it their life or yell it from the rooftops, I mean I think it's stupid to do too much but it's dumb to demonize the people, they can do whatever the **** they want with their own life

have you honestly ever met anyone like that? really?

have you honestly ever met anyone like that? really?

I've met some. Funny thing is, they were usually the ones who were back to smoking blunts and getting wasted six months later. :)

I see you're from Albany. I used to go to Syracuse for months at a time, back when it was the "straight edge capital" in the early 90'ies. I've been to Albany for shows a couple of times. Rough town for it's size...

I've met some. Funny thing is, they were usually the ones who were back to smoking blunts and getting wasted six months later. :)

I see you're from Albany. I used to go to Syracuse for months at a time, back when it was the "straight edge capital" in the early 90'ies. I've been to Albany for shows a couple of times. Rough town for it's size...

i was in syracuse recently to see a show. i can say with confidence the edge has not gone dull.

there was a trainer with syracuse golden gloves at an amateur show in troy who had a straight edge tattoo. i wanted to talk to the dude, but i ended up not getting matched up, and was bummed, and just sort of forgot. any idea who that is?

just say no and thats final or say your the driver for the night

Im going to college next year and training for the gold gloves at the same time, i plan on enjoying myself in college which includes getting wasted but i wont smoke.

If things start to slip ill compromise or stop but while im in college i plan on havin a great time.

the thread's title is misleading, "dealing" with a straight edge lifestyle? whats to deal about it. i can understand someone going through tough times, and personal problems, but having a straight edge lifestyle is far from anything to burden with, you're actually doing something good for yourself.

the person above seems to know how when to say no more, and that is all that draws the line between being under control, and being controlled. as long as you know your limits, enjoy what ever you do, smoke, drink, party even though those things don't help you become a better athlete in my perspective, but life is short and yeah its good to experience new and fun things, but handle your business first of all, and do what it takes. If you want to be golden gloves champ and it means to be in the gym everyday, training hard, living a good healthy lifestyle, well you gotta live that lifestyle if you want to accomplish something worthwhile.

i go to college, and yes parties are abundant, and so is drinking, which i both do & i know my limitations but i put my education and boxing in front of anything else. i'm always busy doing something, as long as you stay busy, nothing will distract you. my old trainer told me this everyday until he left, "Stay busy, a busy man always wins. you see this, this is my life. (shows me his gloves)."

**** peer pressure. I know what you are on about but nowadays I just prefer the company of women, and preferrably ones that I can get naked. You can always drop em some line that you box or play football and they never mind. Most lads are sheep, and most of them are Joey's too. I just hang out with a few pro's who also do not drink or smoke weed alot.

Yeah I have alienated a few friends but I had to do it to break away from the old lifestyle, cant get away with the designated driver thing here as everyone just takes taxis they are so cheap,
**** em. I've cut loose tons of friends that I had. Many were childhood friends that I was real close with. They are losers though and only brought me down. My school had a lot of low income areas so I was always around a crowd of people who were into partying, drugs, fighting etc. Some were my friends, some weren't. After high school I realized I needed to cut these people loose & I did. I took a couple years before everyone got the message but I'm much better off.

Its ok to have the odd beer now and again, got wasted last night but that was only this month I been so wasted. (drink maybe 2 times every 2 weeks)

Getting wasted is knows as binge drinking as is even worse than drinking same amount of units over a prolonged period. The NHS are always making leaflets about it. 2 times a fortnight is quite alot. Beers are for bums! drink JD on payday and champagne after a fight. Nothing else, at any other time or you will fight like a bum. Trust me, I seen it happen to the most talented people.