Why is it all the interesting things happen to me when I am drunk?

When I am drunk, I seem to meet the most interesting an attractive girls, ones that walk right on by when I am sober Seldom, but seem to come to drunken Seldom like a magnet. It is unexplainable...

I was at a place called Airlie beach a few years ago with a couple of mates and we were in this bar called Magnums (www.magnums.com.au I highly recommend any foreigners stay here!). They had drink specials like jugs of beer for a dollar and stuff like that, so we were making the most of it. We got to talking to a group of English folks, 4 guys, 3 girls. One of the girls was being real friendly to me, which is always wlecome and told me her name was Sadie. To cut a long story short, I ended up screwing her on a pinball machine in the laundry room of the hostel...if I was smart I could have been playing a game also and gone for the multiball...
After that, I went to find my mates, who had moved to another bar, where they had met a couple of Dutch girls. I ended up staying in a tent with one of them, somehow, how I got there I still don't completely understand...

Possibly the greatest night of my life.

Sadly, the next night would prove to be one of my more shameful...

Me and the lads went back out to a different bar and met a bunch of Aussies from our town. We were all hooking in when 3 of these older women walked in...they were in good shape, but way older than us (I was 22 at the time). These old birds started flirting with all the boys and one of my mates laid $50 down and said "$50 to the first bloke who ****s one of these old sluts"...I checked my wallet and saw that $50 would be much appreciated. I started to pay some attention to one of them, about 30 minutes later I was balls deep in her over the back of a dumpster at the side of the bar, with most of the lads cheering on! I won my $50 and then spent it on more booze...classy.

The chick turned out to be 52...older than my mother was at the time...people still remind me of it whenever I see them and to be honest, I am not so proud of that one

i have too manny stories to tell

One time I got drunk, and passed out on my friends balcony, while it was raining. Nothing is better than getting drunk, and shooting guns while driving a ski boat......

I disown you seldom, to think, you screwed your own mother tsk.

it was only once

tsk tsk.

this one time at band camp i got really drunk and.....