Who would be best to get you out of the desert/jungle etc.

My money would be on Ray, hes always calm, will make a fire, 3 course Michelin starred dinner, provide a safe dwelling with just a few twigs, stones and his home-made knife, if worst comes to it theres a fair bit of meat on him and you could hollow him out for shelter and food.

The problem I have with Bear is that when confronted with a real bad situation he'd probably just run around like a headless chicken and die trying to wrestle a lion go he can open his intestines up and suck the moisture out of its ****, or contract salmonella from all the raw stuff he eats, I'd be sick eating what he does and that wouldn't bode to well for getting out alive.

Anyway thoughts?

grylls is more of a crazy ****er so i picked him.

I wouldn't sit around a camp fire with Bear. You never know what he'd whack on the end of a stick to cook over the flames with. His diet is ****ing disgraceful.

What a cunt.

Who would be best to get you out of the desert/jungle etc.

My money would be on Ray, hes always calm, will make a fire, 3 course Michelin starred dinner, provide a safe dwelling with just a few twigs, stones and his home-made knife, if worst comes to it theres a fair bit of meat on him and you could hollow him out for shelter and food.

The problem I have with Bear is that when confronted with a real bad situation he'd probably just run around like a headless chicken and die trying to wrestle a lion go he can open his intestines up and suck the moisture out of its ****, or contract salmonella from all the raw stuff he eats, I'd be sick eating what he does and that wouldn't bode to well for getting out alive.

Anyway thoughts?

I picked Bear! You said Mears is always calm but I think he's too calm.. He bores me to ****.

I picked Bear! You said Mears is always calm but I think he's too calm.. He bores me to ****.

Mears is the ****in kiddy.
It would be a close battle for sure but i think Grylls pissing on things would only enfuriate Mears until he finally lost his cool and dropkicked grylls' head clean off.

...and then makes a fire out of ash wood and cooks Grylls testicles.

Mears is a ****in boy scout, Bears a former SAS survival expert. When the chips were down i know who id rather be helping me.

Bear>Mears.

Mears all the way, what this guy doesn't know outdoor survival isn't worth knowing.

Grylls seems a bit of maniac to me, also seems like he does a lot of it for effect. Don't get me wrong though he knows his stuff, but Ray is the superior by a distance for me.

Bear owns Mears.

Mears new "walkabouts" series is ****.

Saying that i read somewhere that Bear Grylls stays in hotels when he does his programmes ....... *****

Mears all the way, what this guy doesn't know outdoor survival isn't worth knowing.

Grylls seems a bit of maniac to me, also seems like he does a lot of it for effect. Don't get me wrong though he knows his stuff, but Ray is the superior by a distance for me.


If i wanted a nice looking hut or a nicely woven shawl Mears would be my man but if i was lost for days on end with no water, no food and injurys Bear would be my man.

****, Bear even knows plants that can help injurys.

The real clincher is though he knows the plants you can make hooch from....If we were dying we'd be dying happy. LOL!

Bear has scaled Everest but a bigger challenge out there awaits him...... me Trousersnake.

Mears. The guy can survive just as well as Bear....

but Bear is always running around as if he's in enemy territory... when he isn't.

CHILL THE **** OUT BEAR!

Ray Mears all the way. I love Bear, but Mears is the like the old school teacher, who Bear has had to learn off. Plus Bear pisses me off with his stories of how he had a friend who was in some sort of crazy survival situation, he always seems to know anyone who's fallen off a mountain, been bitten by a snake, had his dick severed, caught in quicksand etc etc.
Bear puts himself through the worst possible sort of ****, or he makes it look like he does, while Mears does things the easy way, that's how I like it, the easy way.
I bet Mears has a bigger **** aswell.

Ray Mears all the way. I love Bear, but Mears is the like the old school teacher, who Bear has had to learn off. Plus Bear pisses me off with his stories of how he had a friend who was in some sort of crazy survival situation, he always seems to know anyone who's fallen off a mountain, been bitten by a snake, had his dick severed, caught in quicksand etc etc.
Bear puts himself through the worst possible sort of ****, or he makes it look like he does, while Mears does things the easy way, that's how I like it, the easy way.
I bet Mears has a bigger **** aswell.

I once dislocated my trousersnake, but I don't know Bear, so if he uses the story I'd have to question it.

I'm with you on this one all the way Mr. Noodle. Bear is a ****ing show off. He wouldn't last one day in Ray's world.

doesn't Ray Mears train SAS soldiers when it comes to survival? I know Bear was in the SAS and obviously still has the fitness of a soldier, both take differnet approaches I prefer to watch Bear Grylls' shows but I think Ray Mears is better at what he does

Ray rules for me

I think this disappointingly answers the question :-( Although Bear wins on pure nameage.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3UpSlpvb1is

I think this disappointingly answers the question :-( Although Bear wins on pure nameage.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3UpSlpvb1is

lmao quality. i want to change my vote.

Isn't Bear Grylls in the SAS reserves?!

Like the TA or something.

**** Bear Grylls, he likes to play the hero but he ain't ****. Ray Mears everytime.

lets see.... would i choose the fat man who spends half his time showing us how to make a fire, or the army trained, everest climbing legend who can conquer any terrain and piss on ray as he does it....

its definitely a toughy

**** Bear Grylls, he likes to play the hero but he ain't ****. Ray Mears everytime.
lol mate he climbed everest and almost died twice in the process.....

lol mate he climbed everest and almost died twice in the process.....

Cos he's a ***** that's why. Ray Mears could climb everest with his hands tied behind his back.

Cos he's a ***** that's why. Ray Mears could climb everest with his hands tied behind his back.
haha true, good old ray is a beast of a man, an all time warrior. I heard he climbed snowdonia and ben nevis on the same weekend!!

haha true, good old ray is a beast of a man, an all time warrior. I heard he climbed snowdonia and ben nevis on the same weekend!!

Ben Nevis > Mount Everest

lets see.... would i choose the fat man who spends half his time showing us how to make a fire, or the army trained, everest climbing legend who can conquer any terrain and piss on ray as he does it....

its definitely a toughy

but ....Ray Mears...TRAINS THE ARMY.

He isn't trained by the Army...HE trains them!

Plus...Bear is thin and drinking water from a cow dung - Ray always has a 5lb cod on a hook or a wild boar on a spit'. There is a reason why Bear is so thin and weedy - cos he's not as good at getting the munch.

PLUS. Ray has a bright red nose - which leads me to one thing. Who is more likely to have a good portion of ale about or a flask of whiskey? Ray.

That's why I choose him over GI Joe.

but ....Ray Mears...TRAINS THE ARMY.

He isn't trained by the Army...HE trains them!

Plus...Bear is thin and drinking water from a cow dung - Ray always has a 5lb cod on a hook or a wild boar on a spit'. There is a reason why Bear is so thin and weedy - cos he's not as good at getting the munch.

PLUS. Ray has a bright red nose - which leads me to one thing. Who is more likely to have a good portion of ale about or a flask of whiskey? Ray.

That's why I choose him over GI Joe.
thin and weedy are you having a laugh? the guys a prime athlete you dork. do you think you can climb everest being weedy??!!

ray goes to the places where there are plentiful fish in the rivers etc.... it really aint hard to catch a fish, primitive man was doing it

bear has gone to the rainforest, alaska.... some of the harshest conditions in the world

do you think ray would survive falling down a cravesse? the fat bastard would break the rope, never mind pull himself to safety

I pick Grylls because he's better looking. And that is very, very important. It's key to survival.

Plus if things get tough he'll just call his helicopter to come pick us up.

Yup, Ray shows you how to survive in places that are full of **** to catch and eat.

Bera shows you how to survive in places like the Arctic and desert where its barron.

Bear would kick Rays ass. LOL!

I like Bear, but Ray Mears is the master. The man can make a canoe using only tree sap.

I like Bear, but Ray Mears is the master. The man can make a canoe using only tree sap.

You cant eat a ****in canoe. :boxing:

You cant eat a ****in canoe. :boxing:

I'll remember that. Thanks.

I'd rather be floating comfortably in a canoe getting to civilisation quicker, than swimming in some dirty water with Bear. I'd fancy my chances against beating Mears into submission rather than Grylls an all, so I'd make Mears paddle the canoe.

Holy ****, there are masters degree questions that are easier to answer than this, it leaves me in quite a pickle.

Ray Mears, the man is god on earth. He is the only man I have ever seen catch a lion with a twig, then cook it with a match. That's some real survival ****.

But Bear Grylls is hot on his heels. He once slept in the carcass of a dead animal, I think it might have been a camel.

I really can't decide, so I'm going to go on three things:

Who is better looking?

Who has the nicest voice to hear in the morning?

Who has the best name?

Well, it's skinny over fat every time for me, sorry Ray, you fat cunt.

I would much rather wake up to Bear's sweet harmonies than a fat man groaning.

Mrs Ray Mears or Mrs Bear Grylls, no contest at all.

Ray Mears-0
Bear Grylls-3

It a UD for Bear.

You ever seen Bear Grylls wandering eye

Can't take a man seriously with a dancing eye
Fat ray for me
How can a fella who eats bits of grass and sticks be so obese

he must pig out in the "off season" so to speak

Ray can do anything. Like someone said, that canoe was ****ing smart that he made. H e can make cunting weapons, bow and arrow, knifes etc. He made a pair of skis once, i've seen him make an igloo, he can make a fire in a thunderstorm, he can make tents and all kind of shelters as well. All Bear does is run around like a mad man eating ****.

Isn't Bear Grylls in the SAS reserves?!

Like the TA or something.

Bear Grylls is Gareth Keenan.

I still urge you all to watch that vid I posted, Grylls is a "fraud."

His programs are for entertainment purposes only. When you consider this they're still ****ing great.

Bear Grylls is Gareth Keenan.

I still urge you all to watch that vid I posted, Grylls is a "fraud."

His programs are for entertainment purposes only. When you consider this they're still ****ing great.

WHAT!?!?!?!?!

You're telling me, that the guy I voted for, ON THE BASIS OF HIS NAME ALONE, is using a fake name?

I feel duped and dirty.

I must go wash now.

**** you, "Bear Grylls", cunt.

I did want to point out that Bear wasn't his real name it's only his nickname, but I'm led to believe that he had it legally changed to Bear.

After watching youtube videos on them both, come to the conclusion ...

Ray would eat Bear in the jungle without Bear knowing.