View Full Version : and now, the wonderful world of Purity PROUDLY PRESENTS....


Purity
07-18-2003, 10:21 AM
Weekly News Recaps



Another U.S. soldier is killed (http://story.news.yahoo.com/news?tmpl=story&cid=578&ncid=578&e=1&u=/nm/20030718/ts_nm/iraq_usa_death_dc) in Iraq. Our toll is now up to........oh anyone wanna guess? cmon let's have some FUN with this!! ok ok ok we're now up to a progressive 148

http://us.news2.yimg.com/us.yimg.com/p/ap/20030717/capt.1058465193.combat_deaths_iraq_ny120.jpg

stay tuned for we will be giving you LIVE, ON-TH-SPOT coverage of EVERY SINGLE ONE of our troops who die, how they get killed, why they get killed, when they get killed, and (here's the best part) how emotionally destroyed their families and loved ones are at home. REMEMBER, if you're Killed U.S. Soldier Office Pool reaches an exact 155 before next tuesday then it's free BUFFALO WING night. AND if 4 out of 7 of the next deaths go via "explosion" then extra ranch sauce with those wings!!!

So don't go anywhere because we'd hate to stop entertaining you, all the while making you dislike your government and country in a non-solution-orientated fashion.

realkaps
07-18-2003, 10:23 AM
Did you have to write that so small. Its 7 am for ****s sake.....

Big_Papa
07-18-2003, 10:24 AM
:killyou:

LukeDothSucketh
07-18-2003, 10:25 AM
i like urine

Bzob
07-18-2003, 10:27 AM
I want those wings! Come on snipers!

Big_Papa
07-18-2003, 10:32 AM
not cool.

Purity
07-18-2003, 10:32 AM
santa monica, ca- an 86 year-old man rams (http://story.news.yahoo.com/news?tmpl=story&cid=578&ncid=578&e=9&u=/nm/20030717/ts_nm/crash_california_dc) through a marketplace on wednesday, killing 10. yes folks, 10 PEOPLE ARE DEAD. when asked WHY the elderely gentleman did it he replied by saying he accidently mistook the brake pedal for the gas pedal.....well that's understandable. he also didn't realize what he had done.

we'd like to reitterate that for our viewers just joining us. 10 PEOPLE WERE SAVAGELY KILLED. IT WAS 8 KILLED.....NOW IT'S 10. 10 DEAD PEOPLE.

http://us.news2.yimg.com/us.yimg.com/p/afp/20030718/lthumb.sge.iip32.180703034511.photo01.default-384x256.jpg

Although we here at the news room are deeply hurt by the incident PLEASE take note that this is only a fluke. please remember that ONLY drunk drivers can do this. drunk driving is the ONLY cause of tragic accidents so always remember that if you so happen to even smell the next guy's beer at the bar and then hop in your car 10 MORE PEOPLE WILL DIE. YOU WILL GO TO HELL.

Please do not think that old people behind the wheel present a major threat to the road. they do not. DON'T DRINK AND DRIVE!!!

realkaps
07-18-2003, 10:33 AM
Once again with the little letters......

Big_Papa
07-18-2003, 10:34 AM
tru dat

LukeDothSucketh
07-18-2003, 10:35 AM
I definitely partially agree with you, both drunk driver's and the elderly are too stubborn to admit the fact that they should have to find another way to get to where they want. It's up to friends to make sure everyoen gets home safe, some people cannot make that choice on their own because their own schedule is more important than the safety of others.

Curly Howard
07-18-2003, 10:36 AM
Purity must have watched the news this morning....I quit watching it because of this

Purity
07-18-2003, 10:38 AM
THIS JUST IN!!!!

the news room has just been given top secret classified documents straight from the desks of top-level CIA and FBI officials that reads as follows:

We now have very, very, VERY, VERY, VERY, VERY, strong reason to believe that any terrorist activity can now take place at any given place in the world, at any time.

we would like to remind you that you need to relax and go back to work. thank you.

Big_Papa
07-18-2003, 10:42 AM
Bring it, I can give it back.

Curly Howard
07-18-2003, 10:43 AM
roll on............

astroboy
07-18-2003, 10:47 AM
yah the news is so ****ing full of **** and propaganda and hypocrytical and one sided its crap. Never showing the whole story just a story with the editors/journalist/writers biased opionins mixed in.

The Mouse
07-18-2003, 11:56 AM
lol, I love this thread. He's showing us the complete ignorance of our governmental media and news.

realkaps
07-18-2003, 11:57 AM
The only news I read is MMA news and the funny **** they write in Maxim.......

LukeDothSucketh
07-18-2003, 11:58 AM
What about pr0n?

Nuno
07-18-2003, 11:58 AM
Originally posted by kaps
The only news I read is MMA news and the funny **** they write in Maxim.......


Me too....except I read soccer news too......

The Mouse
07-18-2003, 11:59 AM
Maxim has some killer ladies in there. ****in ****-tease editors should be violently raped for teasing me like that... then give'n lotsa cookies and milk because they let me see beautiful creatures in thongs.

ruffneck119
07-18-2003, 01:13 PM
Bwhahahahahahahahaha!!!!!!!!!!!!

Damn that was funny.

Whoremaster B
07-18-2003, 02:09 PM
Its funny how the media uses a death toll. Not much differant from reality TV at this point.

Pretty soon soldiers will get voted out of the desert. Maybe even the Real World Iraq: nuno can be in it.

The army has spoken.