View Full Version : I just read the funniest personal ad


GhosT^x0
06-17-2003, 03:58 PM
So, here's my wish list of what I am looking for in my man:

A brain (not to be confused with his peepee)
comedic timing (not a 1 stroke joke)
A washboard stomach (not a load of laundry)
an intoxicating smell ( not toxi-fy-ing)
a smile I could love (teeth prefered)
good looks (not looking at the goodies)
a close knit family (but not in the bedroom)
healthy sex drive (that is more then self serving)
drives his own car (not another DUI suspension)
has his own pad (mom not included in our bedroom acrobatics)
likes adventure (road trips a must)
loves pets (and not just the collar)
can read and write clearly (kindergarden doesn't count, BA at least)
can worship me naked (fudge syrup optional)
no unreal expectations ( except my own, what?!? )
can carry a conversation (without drooling or dozing)
cooks, cleans and cares for himself regularly (is that possible?)
not susceptable to roadrage (gun in the glove box?)
opens doors and pulls out chair for ladies (lady means all women, not just mom)
is artistic or creative (moody or brooding not optional)
mentally stable ( need I say more?)
can repair anything ( very sexy with work belt)
will drive to me (I am tired of doing all the driving)
and lastly must have inheritance ( in large bills please)



Ok, inheritance not necessary but would be nice. Family issues are not to be helped so I guess I could negotiate on that. But cleanilness and self sufficiency issues are not up for negotiation at all, a bed is not for a dirty clothes pile, it is for sex, the sofa is for sleeping. Sex and conversation requirements must be met. There should be balance, equality and both should damn well have satisfaction and fullfillment or else.
Pictures are needed to see if you are clean neat and don't have a crazed look in your eye. I have my public profile on yahoo under the name guglispot69 so check me out there. Jumping thru my hoops is not as bad as the fire walking I've had to do for some of you so don't worry, I only whip gently.


I go to this site called Craigs List to look at the etc. jobs section sometimes... good side-cash site now and then... and I decided to get bored and read some of the personals. This is the best one I've ever seen.

I just emailed this ***** to tell her she's completely lost it.

Own3d.

Bzob
06-17-2003, 04:08 PM
Tell that chica to get her head out of the clouds and to quit reading romance novels

Bzob
06-17-2003, 04:09 PM
I am sure she is a ****ing prize. NO man no life begging in the local papers.................**** YOU *****

The Ensanity
06-17-2003, 04:14 PM
Originally posted by Bzob
I am sure she is a ****ing prize. NO man no life begging in the local papers.................**** YOU ***** *ensanity clears his throat*


pwn3d.

VulgarTheClown
06-17-2003, 04:14 PM
find her profile on yahoo and link us

i wanna laugh

Bzob
06-17-2003, 04:21 PM
http://www.dropdeadugly.com/dp/uglypics/1-48.jpg

Prince
06-17-2003, 04:26 PM
sounds like she's looking for a guy like me. too bad there's not enough of me to go around.

Prince
06-17-2003, 04:28 PM
http://profiles.yahoo.com/guglispot69

she has a picture on it

The Ensanity
06-17-2003, 04:28 PM
Here is my ad:

-Must have a cute face, or be a butterface

-No Psychos, unless you are willing to **** at a motel and have very little phone contact...(psychos **** like a beast)

The Ensanity
06-17-2003, 04:29 PM
Hobbies: Reading, watching chick flix, experimental cooking, commune with my cat,



BZOB knows his *****es

Bzob
06-17-2003, 04:33 PM
Originally posted by The Ensanity
Hobbies: Reading, watching chick flix, experimental cooking, commune with my cat,



BZOB knows his *****es


She is a ****ing loser, and this is what really scared me

"commune with my cat"

PSYCHO!

Aaron Bizarre
06-17-2003, 04:36 PM
can worship me naked (fudge syrup optional)

LOL, yeah right. she should add:

can believe my bull****

The Ensanity
06-17-2003, 04:39 PM
You know she ****s like an ex-con straight outta jail

Nuno
06-17-2003, 04:41 PM
"and lastly must have inheritance ( in large bills please)".....this is a joke right?......right? :?:

Bzob
06-17-2003, 04:42 PM
Originally posted by The Ensanity
You know she ****s like an ex-con straight outta jail

AAAAHHHHHHHH Now that brings back some fine memories

Prince
06-17-2003, 04:43 PM
i'm everything she asks for except the hand writing

http://members.aol.com/sakurabax/cesarorules.jpg

Bzob
06-17-2003, 04:44 PM
http://us.f1.yahoofs.com/users/351e9cc9/bc/Yahoo!+Photo+Album/ginaLV2.jpg?pf4437.AGScUMECD

It looks like her Eyes are mad at one another and are trying to get as far away from eachother as possible

The Ensanity
06-17-2003, 04:47 PM
Originally posted by Bzob
http://us.f1.yahoofs.com/users/351e9cc9/bc/Yahoo!+Photo+Album/ginaLV2.jpg?pf4437.AGScUMECD

It looks like her Eyes are mad at one another and are trying to get as far away from eachother as possible HAHAHHAA

GhosT^x0
06-17-2003, 04:52 PM
bwaaaaaaahahahahahahaha

Sheer brutality.

Bzob
06-17-2003, 05:00 PM
WTF! Gugli is her last name...Gugli is what we call it when your eyes are like up and down or you have a ****ing super lazy eye...hahahahahaha

She need to change her last name to Gappy BIG GAPPY HO