i'm tired of seeing your posts about you having no ***** and no social life.
therefore i propose that your global compadres help you out. the goal is to have you diggin guts by the end of summer. you've already got money so that's a good start...
but if we're gonna help you then we need some cooperation from you first. so here's how we start. we'll need the following info:

your age
height and weight
talents
location from home to various bar/strip and dance club scenes
whom you live with
info about your friends
info about any girls whom you have contact with

we will also need you to post a pic of yourself cause you're gettin a ****in makeover whether you like it or not.
and MAKE SURE you ignore all dip**** replies in here. you'll get feedback so it's up to you to judge what's realistic and what's crap.
get us that info and then we're on to step 2...

What the **** about me

18
5'10
215lbs
charlotte, nc
i hate all of my friends with the exception of two
i dont talk to any girls except my friends sister and his ***** ass wife who i hate

i dont care about dip**** replies

um........we're still waiting on that pic crystalline. send it and then we proceed.

Originally posted by Crystalline Dream
What the **** about me

Post a pic and we will start there. Maybe if you ever come to Cali , I can help you out?

Originally posted by Crystalline Dream
What the **** about me Is it that hard to get dick?

If it is, you suck...but cant suck if you wanted too?

oh, and i don't have money anymore.

i'm a broke **** who will hopefully start making money again by the end of the month.

Originally posted by TuffGuy
Post a pic and we will start there. Maybe if you ever come to Cali , I can help you out?


The first time you sent me a message on aol it was about vibrators. You have scared me ever since.

Cesaro, I am here to help. I think I am one of the few guys who posts here that actually pulls girls on a regular basis. I will help you.

Originally posted by Cesaro
18
5'10
215lbs
charlotte, nc
i hate all of my friends with the exception of two
i dont talk to any girls except my friends sister and his ***** ass wife who i hate


ok so it looks like you ARE old enough to go to strip joints but not old enough for bars, right?
tell me about the 2 friends you don't hate. are they socialable or shy ****ers in public?
also, what's up with your friend's sister? how old is she? how does she act around you?

Originally posted by Crystalline Dream
The first time you sent me a message on aol it was about vibrators. You have scared me ever since.

You said you needed advice about gettign off!!!!! I know many girls who use those and say they work. Like i said before, I am just here to help.

don't worry about the money ces. gimmie a rough estimate on WHEN you should get some and HOW MUCH it should be. we'll take it from there dude.

Originally posted by TuffGuy
You said you needed advice about gettign off!!!!!

When did I ever say that.

after this month hopefully 5k a month or so

Originally posted by Crystalline Dream
When did I ever say that.

In a thread.

if getting laid requires taking a shower daily, i don't really care to.

Good goin Purity!

Cesaro, are you looking to get laid or get a girlfriend?

Originally posted by TuffGuy
In a thread.


Prove it because I did not

Originally posted by VulgarTheClown
Good goin Purity!

Ben ios just upset you didnt chose him to get laid. He is just as pathetic as Cesaro when it comes to girls.

I want to get laid too... )=

i'm not sure.

Originally posted by Cesaro
yes, both friends are sociable.

his sister is 12... but i forgot about the other one who is 17, i hope she dies.

hmmmmm........so the 17 year old is a ***** eh? PERFECT! we'll use her as a guinea pig. NO you're not going to **** her....you're just gonna earn her respect. there's plenty of chicks that are *****es but if you can get the *****ES to respect you, then you should be able to get the non*****es to crave you. in other words, we're gonna shoot for the stars so we can hit the moon.

tell me a lil about the club & bar scene. how far are some of them from your pad? what types of crowds are there? is there any strip clubs around?
and who do you live with!???

i live with my parents

i don't know anything about clubs around here, probably douche bags go there though.

she's not really a *****, i just hope she dies. i don't like her very much.

Originally posted by Purity
we're gonna shoot for the stars so we can hit the moon.


*cough* aim for the moon and hit a star *cough*

Originally posted by Cesaro
if getting laid requires taking a shower daily, i don't really care to.

*SMACK SMACK!!!!*

snap out of it man!! you're taking showers, shaving, using aftershave, AND even putting on cologne!
after you get laid THEN you can decide if you want your old life back. until then, we're on a ***** hunt my friend.

Originally posted by Crystalline Dream
Prove it because I did not

Look at the title of the thread. Here you go..............................

http://www.globalmma.net/community/showthread.php?s=&threadid=9621

ot one pic you all don't want to get laid very bad do you?

The title is “I need to get laid” not “I need to know how to get off”

whoa now dude, cologne?? the showering daily thing i MIGHT be able to do. but cologne and aftershave...i dont usually even wear deodorant.

Originally posted by Crystalline Dream
The title is “I need to get laid” not “I need to know how to get off”

Well whatever. I was trying to help you have fun. Sorry for carrying.

ok so you live at home. with that in mind, where is your bedroom in relation to the front door and your parents room?

tell me WHY you don't like this chick. remember, she's our guinea pig. we must practice with her. train, if you will.


...and crystalline, what the hell are you talkin about girl?

Originally posted by Cesaro
whoa now dude, cologne?? the showering daily thing i MIGHT be able to do. but cologne and aftershave...i dont usually even wear deodorant.

Well keep talking. We are figuring out the little things right off the bat. Cologne inst a must. Shaving and wearing deodarant is a must. Showering and being clean is a must. Girls dont like bad hygene!!!!!!!!!!!

i have to walk past my parents bedroom to get to mine.

she won't talk to me, so i'm sure there wont be any practicing on her.

Originally posted by Cesaro
whoa now dude, cologne?? the showering daily thing i MIGHT be able to do. but cologne and aftershave...i dont usually even wear deodorant.

the only thing that's constant in life is change. just take it one step at a time.
i want you to start taking DAILY showers but......well only put on deoderant once every 2 days for the 1st week.
on the 2nd week you'll need to put on deoderant EVERY day and shave twice but ONLY use aftershave once.
within a month you'll be investing shares into calvin klein stocks :)

That’s how the saying goes. You had it backwards

Originally posted by TuffGuy
Ben ios just upset you didnt chose him to get laid. He is just as pathetic as Cesaro when it comes to girls.

I'm not upset.

with 2 jobs and training at least2 times a day every day i dunno if i got time to get laid


OH Lenny its not that i'm pathetic I'm just not into whoring myself out to every pair of tits i see.

i respect myself and the women i meet.

Dont forget to brush your teeth before you go out. This is a must. If you have to, carry gum around with you so you dont have bad breathe. Their is nothing worse than bad breathe. That will turn the girls away quick.

Originally posted by Cesaro
i have to walk past my parents bedroom to get to mine.

she won't talk to me, so i'm sure there wont be any practicing on her.

well start thinking of strategic ways you could get a girl to the house withOUT having to walk by your parents room. either a back entrance or relocate to another room.

and clean that damn pessimistic attitude up soldier!! does this girl act snobby towards you? do you feel that she thinks she's better than you? most importantly, tell me ONE THING that she knows more about than you do. just one thing. trust me, i'm goin somewhere with this.....

haha, i do usually brush my teeth daily. sometimes i forget.

Originally posted by Crystalline Dream
That’s how the saying goes. You had it backwards

i didn't have it backwards. i just revamped it to match our situation. don't make me kick your butt!!

Originally posted by Cesaro
haha, i do usually brush my teeth daily. sometimes i forget.

Get yourself into a daily habit of brushing your teeth right as you wake up.

i don't want to change i just want a girlfriend

i'll take a shower daily, cologne- no, aftershave -no, shaving daily-no, deodorant daily-maybe.

i'm not losing the chute boxe hoody, my shoes i want to keep as well.

Crystalline Dream, if you want help, you are gonna have to list your stats and a pic as well. Sort of like what we are doing with Cesaro. I dont think you will be as much work though.

Originally posted by Mouse
I want to get laid too... )=

well all i can say for you is to not talk about the self mutilation lifestyle to girls you meet outside of Dungeon :devil

how about just setup a donation to fund my visit to japan? i think i can get laid there.

i'd keep the hoody too

Originally posted by Cesaro
i'll take a shower daily, cologne- no, aftershave -no, shaving daily-no, deodorant daily-maybe.

i'm not losing the chute boxe hoody, my shoes i want to keep as well.

one step at a time my friend. don't overwhelm yerself dude

Naw I’m cool, I actually do want to find someone who will spar with me after the tournament at Tony’s house. I want to kick a man’s ass. So maybe you guys can find me someone to spar with.

this hoody is god. i'll never stop wearing it, i'll order new ones but i'm never losing the chute boxe hoody.

Originally posted by Cesaro
how about just setup a donation to fund my visit to japan? i think i can get laid there.

How about we just get you a hooker. That will be the cheapest easiest way. You wont have to change either. Although I must warn you, this is not by any means, a long term solutioin.

Originally posted by Crystalline Dream
Naw I’m cool, I actually do want to find someone who will spar with me after the tournament at Tony’s house. I want to kick a man’s ass. So maybe you guys can find me someone to spar with.

I will spar with you. As long as you dont hurt me to bad.

Originally posted by Cesaro
i don't want to change i just want a girlfriend

yer gonna have to make some minor adjustments if you want the right girl. otherwise you're just gonna get sleazy ****.
and you may say that you're content with sleaze but you WILL get sick of her. then disgusted with her. then you'll break up and be even more miserable than you've ever been.

i'm not desperate enough to buy a hooker yet.

i'm really after a social life. i'm sure getting a girlfriend isnt as hard after that is achieved.

sitting at the computer all day i don't think is giong to get much done.

you should rape dead bodies!

no hookers ces. we're gonna get you to EARN yourself a fine girl, who will respect you, eventually conform to your bumlike lifestyle, and be down to **** like a rabbit on the spot.

****... what does it mean that Cesaro and Luke got full on "Let's Get ____ Laid" threads before me? Am I that ****nig hopeless?

ANd on that note... when is ****ing Lenny gonna' call?

****.

i don't wear to go for that

Originally posted by Cesaro
i'm not desperate enough to buy a hooker yet.

Their is nothing wrong or desperate about hookers. I have done it. I get laid plenty. Sometimes it is just about wanting sex and knowing for sure you are gonna get what you pay for.

there's nothign wrong with buying hookers in my opinion

but i am a cheapskate, i have to be very despserate to spend money

Originally posted by Cesaro
i'm really after a social life. i'm sure getting a girlfriend isnt as hard after that is achieved.

sitting at the computer all day i don't think is giong to get much done.

not that it's required for a social life, but tell me how you are when you drink alcohal.

everytie i've had been drunk i calm down. i'm annoying as **** otherwise, i usually get quiet.

Originally posted by Purity
not that it's required for a social life, but tell me how you are when you drink alcohol.

You see, for those of you that dont know Tony, he lives with Dogg. To be able to live with him and have a social life, he needs to drink to cope.

Originally posted by TuffGuy
You see, for those of you that dont know Tony, he lives with Dogg. To be able to live with him and have a social life, he needs to drink to cope.

halfway true. but the other half is that sometimes people, who normally aren't socialble, can use alcohal to enhance social skills. plus it serves as an excuse if you make your move on a girl and she doesn't go along with it.
"oh i'm sorry. i was drunk."

things about tgat that girl
smokes cigarettes
listens to rap
doesnt know much about computers because when she talked to that was the only reason she did, was to tell her how to do something
has a turtle for a pet
hates her dad
hates her brother(my friend)
hates my best friend
hates my other friend

ok so she hates you guys cause one of your friends ****ed over her friend right?

ooooo!!! she has a turtle. ok ok.....do you have any pets?
and why does she hate her dad?

Originally posted by Cesaro
things about tgat that girl
hates her dad
hates my best friend
hates my other friend

Dude, girls that dont have a relationship with there dad is perfect. Those are the easiest girls to hook it up with.

Since this girl doesnt like your friend, that means you wont have to worry about her cheating on you with him. I say go for it man.

i have a cat, and my cat ****ing rules. my cat is one cool mother****er. and dogs, they are cool too. but my cat rules all.

she hates her dad because she sides with her mom and they jsut recenetly divorced..,appraently his dad hit his mom or some ****.

they are some ****ed up family thats why i really dont know much about her, they are patholofical liars and lsove to gossip.

tuffguy, its my friends sister. they are a fjucked up family. i think purity wants me to do something with her but not bang her? i'm not sure. you gusy are getting laid experts, not me.

Originally posted by Purity
halfway true. but the other half is that sometimes people, who normally aren't socialble, can use alcohal to enhance social skills. plus it serves as an excuse if you make your move on a girl and she doesn't go along with it.
"oh i'm sorry. i was drunk."

Very true

Originally posted by Purity
halfway true. but the other half is that sometimes people, who normally aren't socialble, can use alcohal to enhance social skills. plus it serves as an excuse if you make your move on a girl and she doesn't go along with it.
"oh i'm sorry. i was drunk."


So all those times those guys told me that, they were grabbing me on purpose! ****!

i'm going to go msaturbate and try to go to sleep

i'll eb back in awhile

Originally posted by Crystalline Dream
So all those times those guys told me that, they were grabbing me on purpose! ****!

Sorry about that.

:devil

well when you get back, here's what we do with the sister:

i want you to go up to her the next time you see her and tell her that you have to talk to her about something. but you wanna talk in private. set up a day or time. even if it means that you 2 just excuse yourselves to another room right then and there.

THEN you tell her that there's this girl that you really like but you DON'T WANT ANYONE ELSE TO KNOW ABOUT IT. act kinda embarrassed......a lil ashamed even.
anywayz you know that she loves reptiles but that her ex-boyfriend (whom she just broke up with) never let her have pets cause he was a real dick. Sooooooo YOU wanna go out and get her a turtle.......
but you don't know anything about them.

this will give her a chance to start talking to you. let her ask questions. answer them and ask her questions occassionally. be friendly and be cool. see how long you can keep the conversation going. TRY NOT TO TALK ABOUT THE ****ING TURTLES THE WHOLE TIME. joke around with her and make SURE to let her know that you really like this other girl a lot.
chicks LOVE to hear how in love us guys get. they think it's soooo ****ing cute. so she'll probably start spealing out advice what to do and what not to do. let her ramble. ramble back. see where you get but JUST BE FRIENDLY. remember, you're not trying to **** this chick.....just earn her respect.

at the end of the convo, tell her that you're gonna buy the turtle and ask her if it's ok if you can ask her any further questions. then confirm with her that she does NOT tell anyone about what you 2 talked about. look her in the eyes when you say that and tell her that "it would mean a lot to me if you could please keep this just between you and i."

now when you reply, DON'T TELL ME REASONS WHY YOU CAN'T DO THIS. only ask questions about possible challenges (not problems) that you could face.

Sweet, this is called being playa smooth.

no. it is called the "LET'S GET CESARO LAID" thread :)

Cesaro needs to go to the Bar of Charlotte, best place I've been to in the city. I'd also advise to drop the depressive **** when talking to girls, they hate that ****. Women love when a man is confident in himself. You're going to have to stay clean and wear deoderant at the very ****ing least, and I won't even mention about not brushing your teeth, jesus christ dude, lol. Physical attraction is the first thing that gets you noticed and smelling like my dog's ass is a definite no-no. I have a friend that lives on LAke Norman and pulls mad *****, if you're interested I could contact him and see if you could hang out with him for a weekend, or you could come down here and I'll see if I can help you out.

Originally posted by ruffneck119
Sweet, this is called being playa smooth. Beyond playa smoove my friend...beyond playa smoove

thats a pretty badass idea

purity, you must be reading a book on this ****.

you do not sem this coniving and or "smoove" normally

Originally posted by Cesaro
thats a pretty badass idea
What is this in reference to?

Originally posted by prime cut
Cesaro needs to go to the Bar of Charlotte, best place I've been to in the city. I'd also advise to drop the depressive **** when talking to girls, they hate that ****. Women love when a man is confident in himself. You're going to have to stay clean and wear deoderant at the very ****ing least, and I won't even mention about not brushing your teeth, jesus christ dude, lol. Physical attraction is the first thing that gets you noticed and smelling like my dog's ass is a definite no-no. I have a friend that lives on LAke Norman and pulls mad *****, if you're interested I could contact him and see if you could hang out with him for a weekend, or you could come down here and I'll see if I can help you out.

whered o you live

I live in Whiteville, in between Myrtle Beach and Wilmington. BTW, Wilmington is ***** heaven my friend.

i've been to wilmington before, but i was 8.

like i asid before though..i don't act in real life like i do on here.

i hope not

Originally posted by VulgarTheClown
purity, you must be reading a book on this ****.

you do not sem this coniving and or "smoove" normally No. Tony knows has ****. Plane and simple

How do you act then? Drink or any other good habits?

mwessage boards gives me anonymity, i dont nkow anyone here in real life so its a good place to come and talk a lot of **** about every of my friends. and i love to complain, i'm not much of a complainer in real life..not so much as compared to here. i don't hink i'm this depressing in real life anyway. people claim i'm funny.

i dont think i know anyone here in real life anyway

i met academiachuteboxe but i dodnt know it was him

Being funny certainly helps the cause.

Here's my two cents, if its worth anything:

I have recently learned the importance of first impressions. You make a good impression and you can afford the odd **** up after that and keep your momentum. Bad impression: you have to fight just to stay alive, no ****s ups allowed. One of the keys to a good first impression is good hygeine, there's no easy way out of it. Just put two minutes of effort in every morning then you could be having one hell of a good two days every weekend.

Luke is correct. Kinda what I was getting at with the physical stuff. You don't want to be looking and smelling like a bum the first time you meet a chick that is interested in you, and the thing about it is you never know when that will be, so STAY CLEAN DUDE.

cesman, remember that the whole point of this turtle thing is JUST to get a chance to interact with her. we're gonna take babysteps here.
you gotta be a friend before you can be a ****mate. not to say that you'll be ****ing her but i guess what i'm trying to say is that you wanna learn how to befriend women before walking around with your dick in your hand.

a lot of guys will disagree and come back with the whole "treatem like you don't needem" philosophy. well that DOES work in getting ***** but it doesn't make you happy.

wouldn't you rather have a girl that sleeps with you because she thinks your a real man rather then have some slut just settle with you cause she doesn't think she can get any better? OF COURSE you do. otherwise you'd be buying hookers.

i think that this point we have you and prime cut coordinate some locations to meet. prime you gotta girlfriend right? why don't you guys meet up and introduce cesaro to her and have her evaluate him. and in the meantime maybe you could show him a couple cool spots.

while he's doing that, us over here on the homefront will work on your appearance and (more importantly) your attitude. remember that ATTITUDE IS EVERYTHING.

i'm a clean guy, i mean, basically. its not like i go out and run a mile every morning, get sewaty, come back home..go to the gym, then go to bjj. i do nothing, i sit here all day, i don't sweat. so i don't take a shower every day. on the 3rd or 4th day i might start to smell like ****.

Originally posted by Purity
ATTITUDE IS EVERYTHING.

In-****ing-deed.


...it's just too bad I do nothing with that nknowledge.

purity is a smart guy. makes money and knows how to get chicks. yes i'd be happier with some chick who actually likes me than just to ****.

i'll improve my attitude, its really not as bad as you would think. i 'm not much into amproving my appearance though.

Look bro, clean your ass up. Take the time to try to talk to girls. If are looking to **** em, then dont spend a whole lot of time trying to get to know them. If you are looking for friends or a girlfriend, than talk to them and learn about them. Just be yourself. Dont try to be a smart guy if you arent smart. Dont be funny if you arent. Dont force conversation. Just interacting with girls is what it is gonna take for you to get one you like. Dont b discouraged if the first one doesnt work. You will need to learn and explore. It is all about trial and error. Some girls like different things. You will find out that there is some common ground between all of them though. Dont talk like a truck driver. Keep the cussing to a limit. In the begining, stay away from politics and religion. Try to find out things that intrest the both of you.

Ways of acting ike you are interested are by asking her questions about herself. Try not to talk or brag about yourself to much. Keep the conversation simple. If you smile a lot that is a good thing. One thing I have found out is girls love a guy with a nice smile. Dont pity yourself. Girls dont want to be with a guy who seems needy. I hope this has been of some help for you.

Originally posted by TuffGuy
One thing I have found out is girls love a guy with a nice smile... Girls dont want to be with a guy who seems needy.

Dude, careful when stomping on the remnants of my hope.

let me tell you something about your appearance and hygene.

whether you realize it or not it IS a reflection of how you feel about yourself.....how you LOOK at yourself. unfortunately, you can't have a good attitude towards other people and other situations until you have a good attitude about YOURSELF. so clean yourself the **** up man! do that first. i know you're not used to it but just give it a try. whaddya got ta lose???? you've got PLENTY to gain outt've it.

Purity, you ****ing rock. Let’s go buy a dog.

**** you then. I'll go buy my own dog. You keep your spiders

Originally posted by Crystalline Dream
**** you then. I'll go buy my own dog. You keep your spiders

I will buy a dog with you.

Originally posted by Purity


i think that this point we have you and prime cut coordinate some locations to meet. prime you gotta girlfriend right? why don't you guys meet up and introduce cesaro to her and have her evaluate him. and in the meantime maybe you could show him a couple cool spots.

while he's doing that, us over here on the homefront will work on your appearance and (more importantly) your attitude. remember that ATTITUDE IS EVERYTHING.
Sounds like a good plan. It's up to cesaro now.

can we get a lil golden retriever puppy? i totally want one!

now where the **** did cesaro go? CES!!! GET IN HERE!!

<<<<<<<<<<<<best dog ever

So after the Cesaro project, am I next?

Another thing, in reading Cesaro's posts, it sounds like he is up and deciding to try to find a g/f and not just hook up. the only problem with that is you just don't go out and "find" a g/f, the **** just has to happen, right place at right time with the right girl. You go out and "find" a hoe to bang. That's why you have to always try to be looking your best, and be ready to conversate when needed. ****, if nothing else, borrow some of 50 cents 21 questions and ****. Ask girls questions about themselves, they love to talk about themselves more than anything.

Originally posted by Lei Tong
So after the Cesaro project, am I next?

oh you're easy. just print out the pic below, tape it to your forehead, walk up to chicks in bars and grab their tits :)















http://www.globalmma.com/pics/album17/Mvc_043s.jpg

Originally posted by prime cut
Another thing, in reading Cesaro's posts, it sounds like he is up and deciding to try to find a g/f and not just hook up. the only problem with that is you just don't go out and "find" a g/f, the **** just has to happen, right place at right time with the right girl. You go out and "find" a hoe to bang. That's why you have to always try to be looking your best, and be ready to conversate when needed. ****, if nothing else, borrow some of 50 cents 21 questions and ****. Ask girls questions about themselves, they love to talk about themselves more than anything.

i totally agree. especially with the first part. the key is babysteps bro. if you go out trying to find that "special one" then you will NEVER FIND ANYONE.
so just go out with the intentions of having fun
ANNNNND should you meet someone then just carry that same fun-lovin attitude over to her. see how you 2 clash. every girl will be different so just mingle and HAVE FUN.
if you do that then she's interested
if she's interested then she may give you her #
then she may go out with you
then you may kiss
then you may ****
then you may continue to ****
then you may start to enjoy eachother's company more and more
and THEN you can start talking about having a girlfriend.

LMFAO!


Duuuuude... leave it. I'm seriously gonna' need it!

Originally posted by Purity

http://www.globalmma.com/pics/album17/Mvc_043s.jpg IVE BEEN TRYING TO GET THAT **** FOREVER!!!!

yeah i did bro. i just noticed the ****in thing on their this morning.......then i noticed another damn ****ing wolf spider nest! and before you can say it, shut up crystalline!!

Originally posted by TuffGuy
Cesaro, I am here to help. I think I am one of the few guys who posts here that actually pulls girls on a regular basis. I will help you.
Well I know of at least one more guy on here who gets laid often.

Originally posted by prime cut
Another thing, in reading Cesaro's posts, it sounds like he is up and deciding to try to find a g/f and not just hook up. the only problem with that is you just don't go out and "find" a g/f, the **** just has to happen, right place at right time with the right girl. You go out and "find" a hoe to bang. That's why you have to always try to be looking your best, and be ready to conversate when needed. ****, if nothing else, borrow some of 50 cents 21 questions and ****. Ask girls questions about themselves, they love to talk about themselves more than anything.

I agree, sometimes you just run into really nice girls. You don;t just grab em, it happens out of luck or other good stuff.

Originally posted by Purity
i totally agree. especially with the first part. the key is babysteps bro. if you go out trying to find that "special one" then you will NEVER FIND ANYONE.
so just go out with the intentions of having fun


ii don't know much but that is something i do know. i'm patient, but i do like to complain. so i'll look a lot more impatient that i really simply beacuse of my love for complaining.

thats why i said i really just want to work on a social life then let whatever happens happen

Originally posted by Cesaro
ii don't know much but that is something i do know. i'm patient, but i do like to complain. so i'll look a lot more impatient that i really simply beacuse of my love for complaining.

thats why i said i really just want to work on a social life then let whatever happens happen
BALLS DEEP!

im really somewhat content with my life but its not giong to liok like that because i am an attention whore and complain 24/7

hey luke did what i pmed you worked or have you tried it

HAHAHA, it worked once but I think some one caught on and it stopped working... I'll get it going again when necessary, thanks man.

oh ok no problem do you have aim

aim name = same name as on forum

everyone who knows me knows that i love to complain too. especially my friends in real life.
BUT THERE IS A TIME AND PLACE FOR EVERYTHING.

here's some good complaining scenarios:
1) on these boards
2) out drinking with your bros
3) writing down stuff in a journal
4) counseling or therepy sessions
5) singing and shouting along with the vocalist during a metal concert

and here's some bad ones:
1) at a social scene meeting a girl for the 1st time
2) on a date
3) at the dinner table with your family

don't bring your **** to your family. they don't need to deal with it. family is there to help you but they're not there to hear how ****ty you're doing. you'll just be dragging down loved ones.

AND NEVER EVER EVER bring that **** to girls when you're trying to make an impression. maybe in the relationship you can bring it up so that she can help you out but NEVER when you're just meeting her.
reason being? because instinctively WOMEN want a man that can be a man and take care of them. that doesn't mean that women want to be, or NEED to be, taken care of.
what it does mean is that they don't want some lazy, crying ***** who whines all the time. and that's EXACTLY how they'll interpret you if you start complaining in fronna them right away.

i guess what i'm saying is just to delegate your complaining for the right times and places. this way you can still be your same complaining self AND get a girlfriend.

i only complain to the message boards, maybe on AIM to people from the message boards.

in real life i'm a totally different person than here

Originally posted by prime cut
Well I know of at least one more guy on here who gets laid often.

I didnt say I was the only guy. All I said was I was one of the few who gets some on a regular basis.

ttt
rise and shine cesaro. you aint got tang yet so our job is not done.
now prime has offered to show you some spots. i say we have this done by this weekend. getcher feet in the water, if you will.

let me reread this. i have slept all night for the first time in like 4 days, maybe i will understand what is actually going on or being said.

i showered awhile ago and shaved/naired my whole body except my face, **** shaving the face.

i want to get a perm in my hair, i want hair like vitor belfort had at ufc. i love that ****, it is awesome.

no!!

his hair is completely awesome. i know it would be worse on me, but i would still have the hair. i don't really care if it makes me look good or bad, i would have the hair. and that is all that matters. dye it brown as well.

assuming that was what you said no with the exclamations to.

wow this whole thread is to help you bud. Get the coffee and jot down what purity was saying.
****, I think I may listen in for awhile.
I might learn something.

If you want my advice, go to a bar. Hit on some cunt that will turn you down, get rejection out of the way and move.


I had this old boss who used to ask every shallow ***** he could see at a bar to **** him. he lost more than he won ( obviously ) but the ****er ALWAYS went home with someone.

whoa whoremaster! yer jumpin ahead to step #8- the numbers game. we're still on step #2- hygene.
let's not overwhelm the guy.

i think hygiene and clean clothes will be more of a task than anything.

i showered awhile ago, brushed my teeth too.

*grips tapes the confidence stick*

I think he needs some prep work before he goes through the steps.

dammit george!! that's what the pupose of this thread is.
WE are the prep work!! now let's get cesaro laid!!!!!!

VITOR BELFORT HAIR.

no belfort hair. now quit arguing dammit. and quit using that nair **** on your face you ****in weirdo. go get some gillete and a razor blade. leave the rest of your hair alone.

HUP 2-3-4 MOOOVE MAGGOT MOOOVE!!!!!

Originally posted by Purity
dammit george!! that's what the pupose of this thread is.
WE are the prep work!! now let's get cesaro laid!!!!!!


we need to get him confidence first. your steps are great with a guy with balls and effort. Cesaro still views himself as a bottom feeder. I was gonna beat " I am somebody" into him and then construct a sexual Tyranasaurus with whats left using your step program.

Cesaro, Belfort has gay hair. Chicks do not go for men with perms.

well, i can do without chicks as long as i have that bad ass hair. that **** ruled, how can you not like it?

Originally posted by Aaron Bizarre
we need to get him confidence first. your steps are great with a guy with balls and effort. Cesaro still views himself as a bottom feeder. I was gonna beat " I am somebody" into him and then construct a sexual Tyranasaurus with whats left using your step program.

ok ok. whatever works. we're all a team here so let's work like one :)

and ces, if allison says what turns a girl off then listen to her. it's pretty ****in simple on that level bro.

Originally posted by Cesaro
well, i can do without chicks as long as i have that bad ass hair. that **** ruled, how can you not like it?


I had a mullet with strips shaved in, daring hair wears out its novelty fast.

i'm listening to her, i still want the hair regardless. i won't get it, but it sure as hell would be nice to have that ****. did you see it?

http://www.sherdog.com/pictures/ufc43/ufc43_06_07.jpg

allison hun, can you please come in here and smack reality into our friend cesaro a lil harder. i don't think he felt it last time.

look at that slight cauliflower ear as well.. ****, he's awesome!! hair like that and a slightly mangled ear, is this too much to ask?

up.

ttt for vitor's hair

Cesaro, if you seriously want some ****ned up hair like that, I'll gladly go 6 weeks w/o a cut and then turn that **** into a wig for you.

his hair rules, i don't understand why everyone hates it.

I'm glad you showered today, on the road to greatness, you are

i might even shower tomorrow.

i'm supposed to see my friend sometime day, he's just moving in to an apartment with his girlfriend. i figured i had better get clean since i've never met her before and i don't want her to get the homeless guy impression.

up

TTT For Me and Purity's talk the other night

word

im watching pride bushido

mishima owns

our talk?

OH YEAH!!! anyways, me and curly decided that cesaro is coming out for the next global meetup and he WILL get laid.
if i have to find the skankiest, swampiest, "throw a hotdog down a hallway", peice of melted cheese, gueter, slut-bomb, donkey-tonkey, scandelous, slut around here then SO-MUTHER****ING-BE-IT because we will all get cesaro laid.

find a japanese chick and you have a deal

No way I want the Japanese chick. You get that fat one that was at the last party. I think her name was Fred

i dont want fred either. i want the asian chick at my bjj school

Stay out of this

It's between me and Purity

japanese

preferrably eiko koike

rofl.....i have absolutely nothing to say about this.

Asian woman rule

women?

If you know any redhead girl Im obsessed with those girls.

Im 5 10, 27 years old, caucasian, green eyes, 190 pounds and my english is terrible.

Your english is better than The Spaniard's!!

My ingles is a Mierda, so imagine my talking: me piedra you gringa haha.

No,no. You should hear my spanish!

Originally posted by Green Iguana Queen
Your english is better than The Spaniard's!!

And Pinochet has more sexappeal than you blonde *****....

By far Piedra's english is better than mine, that's true!!!

Is that a joke Mr. Leather! Mi inglés es una mierda, oye por cierto estoy en yahoo messenger.

I'm learning spanish

lo sé hombre, lo sé!! Antes no me he podido conectar, probaré ahora...

And how difficult is for you Curly from a saxon language to study a romance language?

Originally posted by The Spaniard
And Pinochet has more sexappeal than you blonde *****....

By far Piedra's english is better than mine, that's true!!!


If it is the truth, why insult me!!??


Bastard!

mmmm...because, I want do it...

Originally posted by Piedra
And how difficult is for you Curly from a saxon language to study a romance language?

It's not as hard as I thought. The only problem I have is time. Most of the words a similar in sound and meaning. The pronunciation is hard. One stress per word is hard to get used to.
It's something I've wanted to do for a while now

that and chicks dig it