Murilo Rua: okay, my uncle = white trash
Murilo Rua: he lives in a trailer
Murilo Rua: i was at his trailer earlier
Murilo Rua: this trailer cant have over 600 sq. feet, so every word or sound uttered is heard
Murilo Rua: i was alone in it for awhile because they were all outside
Murilo Rua: and i had to take a dump super bad
Murilo Rua: and i always take a dump naked just because it feeels better
Murilo Rua: i like for my feet to touch the floor
Murilo Rua: so i was on the toilet taking a dump, and theres a ****ing vent infront of the toilet
Murilo Rua: and the air kicks on so it starts freezing me half to death
Murilo Rua: so i get up and waddle to my pants on the floor, unwiped so i'm mushing the meatloaf
Murilo Rua: i toss my pants on the vent, and my wallet goes flying out
Murilo Rua: i keep my wallet in my front pocket and its a really huge pocket
Murilo Rua: the wallet lands RIGHT ON TOP OF THE LOGS
Murilo Rua: it didnt even make contact with the toilet seat, the toilet anything
Murilo Rua: it went straight in the hole
Murilo Rua: and its a trailer toilet, so its really unbelievable
Murilo Rua: because the hole is only like 5 inches wide
Murilo Rua: its like a pot
Murilo Rua: so i have to reach in really fast and grab the wallet otherwise my money(about $300 in there) and all of my **** is going to get ruined with that brown death and ****/piss water
Murilo Rua: i have dookie on my hand and i toss the wallet in the sink..well can it land in the sink?
Murilo Rua: of course not, life and god both hate me
Murilo Rua: it hits the sink counter
Murilo Rua: leaves a massive skid mark
Murilo Rua: and falls in the floor
Murilo Rua: on what else but a white rug?
Murilo Rua: well i hear people coming in and i'm making a massive ruckus, and his trailer door doesnt have a lock on it
Murilo Rua: so i have to put my clothes on super fast because i'm panicking
Murilo Rua: yea i had dookie on my finger so therefore it got on teh waist of my pants
Murilo Rua: so now i'm having to soak my pants down to try to clean this off
Murilo Rua: along with browning up one of his towels
Murilo Rua: trying to clean the wallet
Murilo Rua: anyway after about 20 minutes i get out..getting eyeballed by all of the white trash in the livingroom/den/kitchen/bedrooms
Murilo Rua: i'm sure it had to smell awful
Murilo Rua: but i was sort of immune to the smell by then so i dont know
Murilo Rua: oh, not to mention i was so panicked and rushed i forgot to wipe AND forgot to flush the toilet
Murilo Rua: so i was extremely uncomfortable for the next 30 minutes or so until i got home
Murilo Rua: and i imagine someone had a pleasant surprise awaiting them
Murilo Rua: i've transferred all contents of said wallet to a new one
Murilo Rua: and am contemplating burning it
Murilo Rua: the old wallet that is
Murilo Rua: i don't know why life has such a problem with me
Murilo Rua: i'm sure i have never done anything to it to deserve all of this
Murilo Rua: i did a full body nair tonight exlcuding the unit and armpits
Murilo Rua: i put my package in a surgical glove so it wouldnt make contact with the nair on my thighs
Murilo Rua: yeah i kind of laugh at it now that it is over
Murilo Rua: i don't care if you post that

no one else but me.

PWN3D by life

weird

Wow, you;re a textbook example of ****ed over

This is not Cesaro's best story, but it is classic Cesaro.....

Now that is some funny sheeit.

HOLY ****IN JESUS!!

I feel sorry for you bro.


http://pic7.picturetrail.com/VOL197/1132239/2136143/25732478.jpg

Originally posted by Creed
PWN3D by life

Trailerpwned

Mobile hOmWNED

poOWNED

it isn't the fact that my wallet landed in a pile of **** that bothers me or i have **** stains on my pants

its just the fact that it never even touched the toilet seat, it went in perfectly. it was like i dropped it in the bowl, not to mention i lost some change in there too, but i don't care about that.

Perhaps it was meant to be.

you need help!!!!!!!!!!!!

no, i'm fine, its all cleaned up now.

i hate wallets, i never used to carry one. i started and now look what happened.

Ceaserro, what you need is a total physical and mental overhaul. Go get yourself some Drano and "The Wall" by Pink Floyd.

My hats off to you.

HAHAHAHHAHA You would think this thread would become less funny as time goes on, but alas it is like fine wine, its gets better with age

TTT!!!!

Cesaro, you are the greatest guy!!!!!!!!!!

lol

thanks

Originally posted by Cesaro
lol

thanks

No problem. Keep the funny stories coming.

will do

Originally posted by Cesaro
will do

Thanks!!!!!!!!!

Ghey

http://www.celebpecs.com/images/Matthew_McConaughey/mmcconaughey005.jpg

http://www.student.smsu.edu/s/san232s/hardfunnypics/gheymobilef00ker.jpg

that's a nice car