View Full Version : First time I had sex


Tanner Rhoden
05-30-2003, 06:58 PM
This is a true, funny, cool and a very pathetic story.

It happened in the summer of 1996. I was fifteen years old at the time. That summer I ws hanging out a lot with my friend Adam and his cousin, Allison. Allison was eighteen years old and used to babysit Adam and I when we were younger. Well, she lived on her own and really loved to party. Adam and I knew nothing more than the occasional beer and hit from a joint. ONe night Allison decided that she wanted to get us ****faced. We bought a ****load of Mickeys and went back to her apartment to get ****ed up. Mind you, at the time, I had a crush on her since I was about six years old.

We started drinking and I got a little out of hand. I pounded two mickeys 40's in about five minutes and was ****ed up beyond belief. Yes, I couldn't handle **** back then.

Allison wa staring to feel her buzz and Adam was passed out on the couch........he still can't handle his ****.

Well, to make a long story short, I started feeling drunked courage. I started making moves on her. And, to my suprise, she didn't turn away. She ended up taking me to her room where we started exploring each other a little bit more. After about ten minutes in there, we were both naked. I began to beg for sex. Yes, I was literally begging. "Come on, Allison.....I'll only leave it in for a minute." "I promise we don't need to do it for long." I was desperate.

Allison finally gave in and was ready to have sex. She, of course, had to help me locate the right hole. I had no ****ing clue what I was doing. When I finally made my way into the hole of glory I started felling sick. The Mickeys was coming back on me in a bad way. Literally five to ten minutes into losing my virginity I had to run into the bathroom to throw up. I missed the toilet and ended up puking in her sink and on her floor. She wasn't impressed. Needless to say, we didn't have sex again that night.........but, we did several times after that.

Yes, my first time is a great memory.......I really showed her a great time.

Kamino
05-30-2003, 07:02 PM
ROFLMAO. Damn dog...you didn't know the correct golden hole? Well, hell, who am I kidding...my first time I plunged the meat market into her *******. Talk about gasping for breath. That ***** almost had asthma attack.

Purity
05-30-2003, 07:02 PM
the first time i ever fingerbanged a girl i put it in her ass on accident. whoops.

Tanner Rhoden
05-30-2003, 07:03 PM
By the way, this story is from when I lived in California...........to clear up any confusion. Maybe I'll stop getting so many IM's about it now.

Kamino
05-30-2003, 07:03 PM
Originally posted by Purity
the first time i ever fingerbanged a girl i put it in her ass on accident. whoops.
Talk about the phrase, "Couldn't quite put my finger on it" lol

Tanner Rhoden
05-30-2003, 07:05 PM
Originally posted by Kamino
Talk about the phrase, "Couldn't quite put my finger on it" lol

HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!

Tanner Rhoden
05-30-2003, 07:20 PM
Jesus, how many virgins do we have on this site?

Kamino
05-30-2003, 07:22 PM
Originally posted by Tanner Rhoden
Jesus, how many virgins do we have on this site?
Not enough. Most of these ass savages either masterbate furiously to DateLine news or fantasy about your avatar. Personally, I prefer the second option.

Tanner Rhoden
05-30-2003, 07:24 PM
I don't know, man. DateLine News is hot.

Kamino
05-30-2003, 07:25 PM
Originally posted by Tanner Rhoden
I don't know, man. DateLine News is hot.
http://www.xenu.net/news/dateline.jpg
I got buddy on the left

Tanner Rhoden
05-30-2003, 07:26 PM
Originally posted by Kamino
http://www.xenu.net/news/dateline.jpg
I got buddy on the left

****, I got sloppy seconds.

Kamino
05-30-2003, 07:28 PM
Originally posted by Tanner Rhoden
****, I got sloppy seconds.
Actually thrashy thirds. Peter Jenkins slaughtered the *****, then left buttermilk-like substance on her pubes.

Tanner Rhoden
05-30-2003, 07:32 PM
Originally posted by Kamino
Actually thrashy thirds. Peter Jenkins slaughtered the *****, then left buttermilk-like substance on her pubes.

That's cool...........as long as I get in that ass.

Kamino
05-30-2003, 07:33 PM
Originally posted by Tanner Rhoden
That's cool...........as long as I get in that ass.
Agreed. Warning though...she had cabbage for dinner.

Tanner Rhoden
05-30-2003, 07:37 PM
Originally posted by Kamino
Agreed. Warning though...she had cabbage for dinner.

http://im1.shutterfly.com/procserv/47b3db11b3127cce889894b102fa0000001610

Kamino
05-30-2003, 07:39 PM
Tanner, that is by far the pinkest man tongue I've ever seen.

Tanner Rhoden
05-30-2003, 07:48 PM
Originally posted by Kamino
Tanner, that is by far the pinkest man tongue I've ever seen.

http://im1.shutterfly.com/procserv/47b3db11b3127cce8898d81a83470000001610

Kamino
05-30-2003, 07:57 PM
Yay for bright manholes.

Tanner Rhoden
05-31-2003, 09:15 AM
Where's Luke?

LukeDothSucketh
05-31-2003, 08:50 PM
I'm a virgin, despite my desperate and pathetic efforts over the last month, I still am.

Tanner Rhoden
05-31-2003, 10:18 PM
I'm sorry, Luke.

astroboy
06-01-2003, 08:00 PM
patience luke
maybe agony^x will give you a mercy root.... some girls love the virgins

Tanner Rhoden
06-01-2003, 08:28 PM
Originally posted by astroboy
patience luke
maybe agony^x will give you a mercy root.... some girls love the virgins

Or, maybe he'll finally realize that he was born gay.

realkaps
06-01-2003, 08:33 PM
First time I had sex I was pretty drunk. I stuck it in moved it around a couple times and that was it. I still remember the look she gave me when she said "Was that it?"....

Tanner Rhoden
06-01-2003, 08:38 PM
LMAO @ Billy!!!! I know you're not alone on that one.

realkaps
06-01-2003, 08:43 PM
I've been called the quickest gun in the west.....

Tanner Rhoden
06-01-2003, 08:46 PM
HAHAHAHAHAHA!!!

LukeDothSucketh
06-01-2003, 10:13 PM
Originally posted by Tanner Rhoden
Or, maybe he'll finally realize that he was born gay.

Eat a dick pogo flinger

Fallout
06-01-2003, 10:15 PM
Originally posted by LukeDothSucketh
Eat a dick pogo flinger

I think thats what he was suggesting

Tanner Rhoden
06-01-2003, 10:18 PM
Originally posted by Creed
I think thats what he was suggesting

Whoa!!! Creed made a funny.

seldomTap
06-01-2003, 10:29 PM
When I am having sex now, I try to blow before the chick, then I do a victory lap of the room and shout out "YES!!! I WIN AGAIN!!"



then I have a nap

Fallout
06-01-2003, 10:32 PM
Originally posted by Tanner Rhoden
Whoa!!! Creed made a funny.

I've been doing that a lot lately. Go figure

Squezze
06-02-2003, 10:43 AM
I really have nothing to add to this thread, cause my first time was really uneventful. It wasn't terrible and it wasn't that good, although I did battle with the condom for a while, and I still hate condoms to this day.

LukeDothSucketh
06-02-2003, 03:05 PM
Originally posted by seldomTap
When I am having sex now, I try to blow before the chick, then I do a victory lap of the room and shout out "YES!!! I WIN AGAIN!!"



then I have a nap

HAHAHAHA, sgfb, gffg... frooarth