If you fellas weren't around the first time then here is how your skills with the tongue were graded. There are five categories and each of you will be ranked accordingly. I shall start by explaining the lowest category of licker:

The Arse Licker
You have brought shame on you and your family. You repeatedly lick the arse...and you bring no pleasure to the anus your tongue is inserted into. You have no skills and your tongue fumbles around the puckered arsehole blindly. Repent forthwith, then renew your licking efforts and you may progress, but be warned, 99 percent of arse lickers remain an arse licker for the rest of their life.

The Tit Licker
You are merely a youth just beginning to set out upon your licking escapades. You may have nibbled a nipple and had a wee sucky sucky on the odd breasticle here and there, but your skills are lacking son. You have never ventured down below into the nether regions of juicy lust to test your licking skills on a vagina (or **** for that matter) and thus you have not yet developed the licking skills that you will need to survive in this cruel world. However, work hard and you will progress. You are still young and have the world at your tongue.

The Finger Licker
In the army of Lickers you are a foot soldier. A brute who may lack subtlety but you get the job done somehow. You have mastered tit licking but are far from the all around licker, as although you have attempted to lick the cunt you are not efficient at it...thus your licking efforts these days are confined to licking your fingers after you have digitally pleasured a lady (or man). Do not despair though, you are the mainstay of the licking community and without you there would be nothing.

The **** Licker
Your tongue is highly talented and brings enormous pleasure to whomever you choose to lick. You have licked many a clit in your time and can bring a lady to orgasm within 3.3 seconds flat. You are admired and highly thought of among your fellow lickers...however, your taste for the **** far outweighs your hunger for the fanny. This means you shall eternally be branded a **** licker, even though you may munch on a minge now and again. You are officially a homo gay licker...but you still may rejoice in your status, for although a mans David Seaman is no match for the ladies love juices, the **** is good too.

The Cunt Licker
You are at the pinnacle. Your tongue is revered and your fellow man looks up to you as a god among the licking fraternity. Be grateful for the power and high esteem your skills have brought you. Ladies shiver and spread their legs a little as soon as they see you and men would love to have your lips around their bulbous head...but you my son are a cunt licker and only the best vaginas will do for you. No hairy man meat will pass by your lips. When your friends greet you in the street they shout “CUNT LICKER, I SALUTE THEE!”

So fellas, it's judgement time. Here's where you all stand:

The list of arse lickers is as follows: Msagrain, Col Blake, Div 'ead, manutd6899, p4pking_2007, fasman, D_Hook, Fumin 88, Exige and Peroxide.

The list of tit lickers is as follows: Hurricane, Naps, DaveBrown, Mozza, Duffgun.

The list of Finger lickers is as follows: Porlie, Ooavu, Bobby Pazuzu, Duran is God, Addition, The Monk, The Wire.

The list of **** lickers is as follows: Southpaw Stinger, Oasis Lad, MickeyB, Naz Fan, Micky Hatton, Anorak, Kaygay ( who is an honorary limey bum boy if ever there was one), azza, Jimmy the Gent/Duggie Finger a fanny Finnus, Mik.

The list of Cunt lickers is as follows: Shanus and Tuggers.

You can't judge me, *****!

I feel honoured.

I lick teh ****

I feel honoured.

You're a good lad so you are. If I can be bothered I'll give you all gifts to commemorate your status.


The big movers since the last gradings are Tuggers, who has reached the lofty status of Cunt Licker, MickeyB, who came straight in at **** licker status and DaveBrown who craftily moved out of arse licker status and up to the tit licker rank.

There are some fellas who will no doubt progress beyond their current level, but I shall not name them all as they are many.


P.S

Shame on you arse lickers, you bunch of unskilled tongue tarts.

msagrain... come on Hoff. He deserves a higher status than that. He a pwntender.

And how am I lower than that queer Tuggers. He is a japs eye of the highest order!

While there was initial disapointment at only reaching the third tier of lickers I have come to realise I am the David Batty of lickers, without my kind there is only one result...certain defeat. However, like Batty I am lacking in natural talent and have found my level. Finger licker fo lyf!

While there was initial disapointment at only reaching the third tier of lickers I have come to realise I am the David Batty of lickers, without my kind there is only one result...certain defeat. However, like Batty I am lacking in natural talent and have found my level. Finger licker fo lyf!
Aye, every team needs a batty boy, of that there is no doubt.

You were one of the lads who I ummed and ahhhed about. I couldn't decide whether you were a finger licker or a **** licker. Still, when the ratings are next upgraded I expect you'll have refined your skills through sheer hard graft and have pulled yourself up the licking ladder.

msagrain... come on Hoff. He deserves a higher status than that. He a pwntender.

And how am I lower than that queer Tuggers. He is a japs eye of the highest order!

Super Tuggers has established himself among the elite. Those of us like you and me can only dream of having as skilled a tongue as he.


Msagrain is and will always be a cunting arse licker. I know you like him but that's just the way it is Mickey.

I rank below Sh.anus? I'm disappointed.

Though the big surprise is Exige and his four pubes. I think you're underrating that slappable dwarf, Hoff.

I rank below Sh.anus? I'm disappointed.

Though the big surprise is Exige and his four pubes. I think you're underrating that slappable dwarf, Hoff.
As was specified Annie, you're too fond of the **** to get cunt licker status.

An little exige is just not active enough to have warranted a higher rating. Last time out he was a finger licker.

i don't really go on here but i'm definately a ***** licker

Super Tuggers has established himself among the elite. Those of us like you and me can only dream of having as skilled a tongue as he.


Msagrain is and will always be a cunting arse licker. I know you like him but that's just the way it is Mickey.

Ha! Only God judges me.

no ones gives a **** what you think.

Ha! Only God judges me.

no ones gives a **** what you think.

**** off you boring, illiterate cunt. Don't make me start deleting yer ****ing posts.

i cant help but think that my ranking is highly linked to me being a villa fan hoff....

however im gonna take it and high five to your Arse licker self mate :banana:

i cant help but think that my ranking is highly linked to me being a villa fan hoff....

however im gonna take it and high five to your Arse licker self mate :banana:

I considered ranking you a **** licker, merely for the fact that you're a fellow Villa fan who has shared in me experiences over the years, but alas, for now a finger licker you shall stay, though progression is by no means beyond you.

An arse licker?! In your eyes I am the lowest of the low. Can you see a way out for me? I will admit that I do it sometimes but you gotta love the green k you receive for doing it.

An arse licker?! In your eyes I am the lowest of the low. Can you see a way out for me? I will admit that I do it sometimes but you gotta love the green k you receive for doing it.

Among the arse lickers, you are the most likely to be that 1% who progresses to tit licker and beyond. Have faith and give your tongue some good practice and all will be well.

Among the arse lickers, you are the most likely to be that 1% who progresses to tit licker and beyond. Have faith and give your tongue some good practice and all will be well.

Who took the jam out of your doughnut Sgt ****head?.

Very disappointed Hoffmeister.

I'll give you my missus number and she'll tell you without a shadow of doubt I'm the finest cunt licker there is. If you're **** felt the tickle of my tongue it would bring you to your knees.:blowjob:

I'd appreciate a pm from you with a detailed explanation.:kiss:

An Arse Licker?

The same level as Col Blake?

I feel like topping myself

An Arse Licker?

The same level as Col Blake?

I feel like topping myself


Don't say that Captain.

That reminds me, don't you live near where all those suicides took place and did you know any of them.

Don't say that Captain.

That reminds me, don't you live near where all those suicides took place and did you know any of them.

Lol maybe that suicide comment was in bad taste under the circumstances.

Yep the exact same town.

Nah I didn't know any of them, one was a mate of a mate though.

We're getting really bad press for it.

Lol maybe that suicide comment was in bad taste under the circumstances.

Yep the exact same town.

Nah I didn't know any of them, one was a mate of a mate though.

We're getting really bad press for it.

It's sad and strange as well. How many is it now and do you think they are all connected?

It's sad and strange as well. How many is it now and do you think they are all connected?

12 or 13

I don't know, maybe. Everyone is talking about Bebo connection and all that, I really don't know. Read in the paper the other day, "It's because there's nothing to do"

What a load of bull****, you don't kill yourself because your bored.

I personally just think it's a sad coincidence

12 or 13

I don't know, maybe. Everyone is talking about Bebo connection and all that, I really don't know. Read in the paper the other day, "It's because there's nothing to do"

What a load of bull****, you don't kill yourself because your bored.

I personally just think it's a sad coincidence

That's the Welsh for you, maybe it's a lack of sheep. (Bad Joke)

Anyway I'll stop the Welsh bashing before I get started as you Owned us at Rugby.

That's the Welsh for you, maybe it's a lack of sheep. (Bad Joke)

Anyway I'll stop the Welsh bashing before I get started as you Owned us at Rugby.

Couldn't have been any worse than my Maria Sharapova joke in the poll thread about Wales beating England.

But I think deliberately bad jokes are funny.

You guys should be patient. IN the last installment platinummatt was at first an arse licker, but he worked his way up several spots.

hahahahaha....

Arse licker, thats false and you know it...

The only reason i was put there is because i dont give a **** about anything or anyone, i will argue my case until i die....

Ahhhh, i love it.....

Show me where i have actually arse licked....hahaha

The ratings have all been officially ratified so shut it, you tarts.

Also, Peroxide has been added to the list of arse lickers, the shameful cunt.

The ratings have all been officially ratified so shut it, you tarts.

Also, Peroxide has been added to the list of arse lickers, the shameful cunt.


I hope to have a hot cup of hoffee before I visit the land of nod :luvbed:

I hope to have a hot cup of hoffee before I visit the land of nod :luvbed:

Hold yer horses son, don't set sail for the land of nod just yet. I'm brewing a cup of hoffee for yer right now.

Hold yer horses son, don't set sail for the land of nod just yet. I'm brewing a cup of hoffee for yer right now.

Me cup awaits for yer to fill it.

Gawd, I miss this sexy Bar Steward.

No doubt Tuggers' ranking drops after the Hurricane pwning though.

Bollocks I took that **** like a man!!!!

And I miss the sexy one too!!