Hello, you have reached the Los Angeles Police Department Voice Mail.

Pay close attention as we have to update the choices often as new and
unusual circumstances arrive.

Please select one of the following options:

To whine about us not doing anything to solve a problem you created
for yourself, press 1.

To postulate whether someone has to die before we'll do something
about a problem, press 2.

To report an officer for bad manners when in reality the officer is
trying to keep your neighborhood safe, press 3.

If you would like us to raise your children, press 4.

If you would like us to take control of your life due to your alcohol
or chemical dependency, press 5.

If you would like us to instantly restore order to a situation that
took years to deteriorate, press 6.

To provide a list of police officers you personally know so we will
not take enforcement action against you, press 7.

To sue us, tell us you'll have our badges and you pay our salary, or
proclaim our careers are over, press 8.

To whine about a ticket and/or complain about the many other uses for
police rather than keeping your dumb ass from killing someone, press 9.

Please note, your call may be monitored to assure proper customer
support and remember, we're here to save your ass not kiss it.

Thanks for calling the Los Angeles Police Department and have a nice day.

HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAH
Where did you get that Arju. That is funny.

hehehe from my Bro, he's a cop. He sends me all the good cop jokes. :)

That is some funny ****!!!!!

I read that last night. ROFLMAO

Well, that was entertaining.
My brother is a cop as well.

Thoses are ****ing great. Espically the one about saving your ass, and not kissing it.

I will remember that