Q. What is the main function of the England coach?
A. To transport the team from the hotel to the ground.


Q. What's the England version of a hat-trick?
A. Conceding three goals in fifteen minutes


Q. What's the most proficient form of footwork displayed by the England midfielders?
A. The walk back to the dressing room.


Q. What do England and drug addicts have in common??
A. Both spend most of their time wondering where their next score will come from.


Rumours are that David Beckham was seen successfully seducing a young woman in a nightclub with a one-liner have been completely refuted by the English FA. A chief publicity officer stated: "I find it totally preposterous to suggest that one of our players could make a successful pass to or at anyone."


A man desperate at England's current situation decides to top himself. In his living room, alone, he prepares to hang himself. At the very last moment, he decides upon wearing his full England kit as his last statement. A neighbour, catching sight of the impending incident, informs the police. On arrival, the police quickly remove the shirt and dress the man in stockings and suspenders. The man, totally confused, asks why. The policeman simply replies, "It's to avoid embarrassing your family."


Rumour has it that England have got a new sponsor: Tampax. The FA thought it appropriate change as the team is going through a very bad period


England are manufacturing a new brand of Bisto Cubes, called the "laughing stock"

Sorry couldn't resist posting some jokes that I found.

A jew and a **** are standing at a bus stop.
The **** says "When is the next bus due?"
The jew says "Who are u calling a jew ****??"

A jew and a **** are standing at a bus stop.
The **** says "When is the next bus due?"
The jew says "Who are u calling a jew ****??"

What's the starred out bit?

A jew and a **** are standing at a bus stop.
The **** says "When is the next bus due?"
The jew says "Who are u calling a jew ****??"

:omfg: :omfg: :omfg:

What's the starred out bit?

He meant the N-word :nono:

had this sent to me after the game

What's the difference between england and lewis hamilton?

At least Hamilton will have a Mclaren in the morning

:omfg: :omfg: :omfg:



He meant the N-word :nono:

no i didnt. i said **** not ******.

no i didnt. i said **** not ******.

I thought you were on about the igga spelling of it.

Well whatever you still going to hell you racist ****ing ****er

I thought you were on about the igga spelling of it.

Well whatever you still going to hell you racist ****ing ****er

I am a **** so its ok for me to scream the word **** from the trees. Which i fully intend to do.

I wouldnt be typing **** so much if it wasnt censored. Imagine if every time u wanted to call somone a **** or ****** u were muted? We would all be at it, all the ****in time.

Scientists have discovered a new drug which protects against all diseases meaning the person taking it cannot catch anything.

It is to be called the Scott Carson.

I am a **** so its ok for me to scream the word **** from the trees. Which i fully intend to do.

I wouldnt be typing **** so much if it wasnt censored. Imagine if every time u wanted to call somone a **** or ****** u were muted? We would all be at it, all the ****in time.

See what you mean it's a ******* problem an half. Doesn't help us fighting amongst ourselves like petty *******.

I'm such a ******

the new England keeper is called Tommy Tampax
he stops every bleeding cunt