are in a better position to say to its very hard to move on. and that text book advice is bull****.

saying to someone that YOU HAVE TOO move on is generic advice that gets a generic answer like, "yeah i know, I will"

Is it right for people to call them 'attention seekers' when they have experianced first hand what death is like.

discuss... :frown:

are in a better position to say to its very hard to move on. and that text book advice is bull****.

saying to someone that YOU HAVE TOO move on is generic advice that gets a generic answer like, "yeah i know, I will"

Is it right for people to call them 'attention seekers' when they have experianced first hand what death is like.

discuss... :frown:

What happened?

my girlfriend committed suicide in 2007. never really talked about it much to anyone other than those who were close to the situation. I have since moved on and am in a great relationship... there is no calendar for "moving on". you move on when your mind and body finally accept the truth. for me it took about a year. saying that someone has to move on is bull****. some folks go lifetimes without EVER getting over the death of a loved one. it isnt easy. time does heal but at different rates for different people. hope this helps.

You never get over it. you only learn to deal with it. It leaves a hole in you that will never close.

My grandma passed away in June. It was such a big deal to me because when I was little my mom could not take care of me for reasons I wont get into. So when I had nowhere to go my un-enployed grandma took me in and gave me everything I could have wanted and more. When I was able to live my moma gain I visited my grandma every day and every chance I got. She eventually devoloped a sever case of alzheimer and completely lost it. It was tough to see someone I cared about so much struggle just to remember where she was walking to. She soon was not able to eat anything solid and was forced on an all liquid diet. She spent time checking in and out of the hospital, until she evtually died in her sleep on June 8th. It sucks because I was the one who found her and I will enver forget it. Its still a whole in me which will never be replaced.

Im so thankful that i have not experienced this, but i know that life is impermanent and everybody dies, eventually i will lose a loved one (makes me shudder just thinking about it)...honestly i have no idea how i will deal with it nor how i will go through it, one things for sure something like that will surely just shatter me to pieces.

are in a better position to say to its very hard to move on. and that text book advice is bull****.

saying to someone that YOU HAVE TOO move on is generic advice that gets a generic answer like, "yeah i know, I will"

Is it right for people to call them 'attention seekers' when they have experianced first hand what death is like.

discuss... :frown:

HMM well everyone dies not everyone lives.

Exactly...its hard to "move on" first you have to admit that nothing can be done now and find another love which makes you feel better

I been through it.

Definitely easier to listen to kind wishes from people you know have lived it themselves.

Wishin someone well, tellin em to get past it is generic, but it's the best people can do for someone dealin wit a loss.

I don't begrudge those people for that, but it does get trite sumtimes.

my girlfriend committed suicide in 2007. never really talked about it much to anyone other than those who were close to the situation. I have since moved on and am in a great relationship... there is no calendar for "moving on". you move on when your mind and body finally accept the truth. for me it took about a year. saying that someone has to move on is bull****. some folks go lifetimes without EVER getting over the death of a loved one. it isnt easy. time does heal but at different rates for different people. hope this helps.

Sorry for your loss! Indeed people move on. And we take a different path to life. For someone who has not been through death, for them to say it should only take 2-3 years to get over it is ignorant rite?

You never get over it. you only learn to deal with it. It leaves a hole in you that will never close.

For sure!

My grandma passed away in June. It was such a big deal to me because when I was little my mom could not take care of me for reasons I wont get into. So when I had nowhere to go my un-enployed grandma took me in and gave me everything I could have wanted and more. When I was able to live my moma gain I visited my grandma every day and every chance I got. She eventually devoloped a sever case of alzheimer and completely lost it. It was tough to see someone I cared about so much struggle just to remember where she was walking to. She soon was not able to eat anything solid and was forced on an all liquid diet. She spent time checking in and out of the hospital, until she evtually died in her sleep on June 8th. It sucks because I was the one who found her and I will enver forget it. Its still a whole in me which will never be replaced.

Thats kinda like me!.. people will never understand that feeling of finding someone dead you love so much! Sorry for your loss!

Im so thankful that i have not experienced this, but i know that life is impermanent and everybody dies, eventually i will lose a loved one (makes me shudder just thinking about it)...honestly i have no idea how i will deal with it nor how i will go through it, one things for sure something like that will surely just shatter me to pieces.

Trust me, its a feeling that you don't want, but as you said its going to happen somewhere down the line. The best advice i can give anyone is, have a support network, do not grieve on your own!!! I think its a true test of a person and community.

HMM well everyone dies not everyone lives.

indeed...

Exactly...its hard to "move on" first you have to admit that nothing can be done now and find another love which makes you feel better

And admitting to that might be impossible, I guess the only thing that can fix such a loss is new love.

I been through it.

Definitely easier to listen to kind wishes from people you know have lived it themselves.

Wishin someone well, tellin em to get past it is generic, but it's the best people can do for someone dealin wit a loss.

I don't begrudge those people for that, but it does get trite sumtimes.

I tend to disagree, because the people in my experience give generic advice then go to sleep thinking they have helped you soo much. Far from it!

I begin to resent advice from people who cannot justify the advice. A person that is or has gone through adversity can only be comforted by another person who has gone through the same.

I've been through it, and it is hard. I've lost people to gang violence, and overall violence out here. I lost my girl to, and it hurt. I've never been so hurt in my life, and it took me over a year to get over it. I know how hard it is to get over a loved one. Sometimes we don't get over it, but rather we adjust, and assimiliate to the situation, thus dissipitating our feelings from our loved ones, in a spiritual way. Yes it is audaciously generic to tell someone to move on, but it is more of a cliche that we have in society then advice. It bothers me to when people say that because they have no idea what one has lost, or how one is feeling, as some people have never gone through such loss, and if they have they were better able to cope with it then one I guess

I tend to disagree, because the people in my experience give generic advice then go to sleep thinking they have helped you soo much. Far from it!

I begin to resent advice from people who cannot justify the advice. A person that is or has gone through adversity can only be comforted by another person who has gone through the same.

Thats what I meant.