A man joined a big Multi National Company as a trainee.
On his first day, he dialed the kitchen and shouted into the phone: "Bring to me a cup of coffee, quickly!"
The voice from the other side responded: "You fool; you've dialed the wrong extension! Do you know who you're talking to?"
"No" replied the trainee.
"It's the Managing Director of the company, you idiot!"
The trainee shouted back: "And do you know who YOU are talking to, you IDIOT?"
"No!" replied the Managing Director angrily.
"Thank God!" replied the trainee and hanged-up.

HAVE A NICE WEEK DAYS AHEAD...

Little boy goes to his father and asks "Daddy, how was I born?"
The father answers: "Well son, I guess one day you will need to find
out anyway!
Your Mom and I first got together in a chat room on Yahoo. Then I set up a date
via e-mail with your Mom and we met at a cyber-cafe. We sneaked into a
secluded room, where your mother agreed to a download from my hard drive. As
soon as I was ready to upload, we discovered that neither one of us had used a
firewall, and since it was too late to hit the delete button, nine
months later a
blessed little Pop-Up appeared and said: "You`ve Got Male!"

WIFE: i'm warning you! Parating na husband ko in
1 hour!
HANDSOME VISITOR: Wala naman akong
ginawang masama ah?
WIFE: kaya nga! kung may balak ka, GAWIN MO
NA!!!

-------------------------------

MISTER: pag namatay ka, isusulat ko sa nitso
mo "MALAMIG NUNG BUHAY, MAS MA LAMIG
NUNG MAMATAY!"
MISIS: Ah ganun?! sa nitso mo naman "SA
WAKAS NANIGAS DIN!"

--------------------------------

WIFE: Himala! aga mong umuwi ngayon.
HUSBAND: Sunod ko lang utos ng boss ko. Sabi
nya "GO TO HELL", kaya ito uwi agad ako..

---------------------------

SEXY: Maawa ka! meron ako, meron ako!
RAPIST: AHH! Walang meron-meron sa kin!
TITIKMAN KITAA!!
SEXY: WAG! AY!
RAPIST: Yaakk!! Meron ka nga! Meron kang itlog.
Bakla!

-----------------------------

1st night lola wear see thru dress, lolo didn't
react...
2nd night lola wear t-back, lolo still deadma...
3rd nyt lola all naked, lolo said "anu yan suot mo, gusot-gusot!!"

--------------------------------

Juan: b-day ng asawa ko
Pedro: ano regalo mo?
Juan: tinanong ko kung ano gusto niya.
P: ano naman sinabi?
J: Kahit ano basta may DIAMOND.
P: ano binigay mo?
J: Baraha.

------------------------------

Teacher: We are descendants of Adam and Eve!
Student: That's not true! My dad says we are
descendants of an Ape!
Teacher: We are not talking about your FAMILY!

----------------------------

RUSSIAN: we're 1st in space
USA: we're 1st in the moon
ERAP: we'll be the 1st in the sun
USA: you can't go there, you'll burn
ERAP: we're not stupid, we'll go there at NIGHT!

---------------------------

Wife: Lab, may taning na ang buhay ko. Huling
gabi ko na to, let's make love.
Husband: Heh! tumigil ka nga. Maaga pa akong
gigising bukas, buti ikaw, hindi na.

hahaha, nice undertaker...:D