Anyone Got Any Good Yo Mama Jokes?

Your mama's so stupid, I saw her running into the law office with some head gear talking about, "I need someone on retainer."

Your mama's so fat, she wore a Malcolm X T-Shirt and helicopters tried to land on her.

Your mama's so stupid, I saw her climbing a tree saying she wanted to be branch manager.

Your mama's glasses are so thick she can look into a map and see people waving at her.

Your mama's teeth are so yellow when she smiles she slows traffic.

Next guy's turn...

Yo mama's so dumb, she thought menopause was a button on the VCR

Yo mama so stupid, when you were born she saw the umbilical cord and said, “Hey it comes with cable!”

Yo mama's so fat she jumped up and got stuck.

Yo mama's like a buffet, everyone can help themselves.

Yo mama's like a racecar, she burns four rubbers in one night.

Yo mama's so dumb I told her it was chilly outside she went and got a bowl.

Yo mama's so fat she sweats crisco.

Yo mama's so ugly bigfoot took pictures of her.

And my personal favorite...Yo mama's so black the cops shot at her and the bullets came back looking for flashlights.

your mama's so black she went to night school and they counted her absent.

your mama's so fat, she stepped on a quarter and squeezed a booger out of George Washington's nose.

your mama's like a screen door - she needs banged a few times to loosen her up.

your mama's so old, she signed Moses' yearbook.

your mama's so fat, she pops biscuits like tic tacs.

YO MAMMA SO FAT SHE WIPES HER ASS WITH A BLANKET!

YO MAMMA SO SHORT U CAN SEE HET FEET IN HER DRIVERS LICSENCE PICTURE!

YO MAMMA SO FAT SHE USES A VCR AS A PAGER!


YO MAMMA SO FAT SHE IS THE REASON THEY DECLARED WORLD HUNGER!


YO MAMMA SO FAT SHE STEPED ON THE DOGS TAIL AND WE HAD TO CHANGE HIS NAME TO BEAVER!

How are the New York Jets defense and yo mama alike?
You give them a quarter and they'll let you score!

hahahaha funny stuff guys.

your mamma is a *****.

yo momma so stupid, she got hit by a parked car.

yo momma so ugly, when she threw a boomerang, it didn't come back.

yo momma so fat, when she wore heels, she struck oil.

Yo mama so fat people jog around her for exercise

Yo mama so fat she went to the movies and sat next to everyone

Yo mama so fat you haveta roll over twice to get off her...

Yo mama so fat she lay on the beach and people run around yelling Free Willy

Yo mama so fat when you get on top of her your ears pop!

Yo mama so fat she goes to a resturant, looks at the menu and says "okay!"

Yo mama so fat she had to go to Sea World to get baptized

Yo mama so fat when she steps on a scale, it read "one at a time, please"

Yo mama so fat she fell in love and broke it.

Yo mama so fat she's got her own area code!

Yo mama so fat she's got more Chins than a Hong Kong phone book!

Yo mama so fat she left the house in high heels and when she came back she had on flip flops.

Remind me of a song; like to hear it? here it go...

Intro:

Yo man you gotta be... you know
You gotta be on to die man what's up with that?
Yo bro shot
Yeah word up bro shot
Uh we need some brothers to be uh like droppin knowledge
and writin good stuff
Ay man why don't you quit talkin all the stuff and do something about it?
You know what I'm sayin?
Oh you talking about.. kick some uh knowledge...
Yeah well you do that like right now
... and some wisdom for the people
What's up with that?
OK, I got it

(brothers and sisters)

Verse One: Booty Brown

Ya mom is so fat (how fat is she?)
Ya mama is so big and fat that she can get busy
with twenty-two burritos, but times are rough
I seen her in the back of Taco Bell with handcuffs
The sad fact (what?) ya mama smokes crack (what?)
She got a burning yearning and there's no turning back
Her knuckles drag down to the ground when she walk
Spit comes out that ***** mouth when she talk

Refrain:

Naked on a mountain top, tootin on a flizoot
Ridin on a horse drinking whisky out a bizoot
She's got the wings and teeth of an african bat
Her middle name is Mudbone and on top of all that:

Ya mama got a glass eye with the fish in it (3X)
Ya mama, ya mama, ya mama

Verse Two: Slim Kid Tre

Ya mama look like she's been in the dryer with some rocks
With the big bust nose sucking dirt out of socks
Held up the ice cream truck with a slingshot
She grabbed a bag of Cheese Corn and a soda pop
Ya mama root'n'toot and stole my loot and my suit
She may have the muscles, but no, she's not cute
She's not pretty, oh what a pity, got the glass titty
Filled up with Kool-aid, just for the kiddies

Refrain:

On a cliff butt naked, tootin on a flute
Ridin on a horse drinkin whisky out a boot
She's got the teeth and the wings of an African bat
Her middle name is Mudbone and on top of all that

Ya mama got the wooden legs with real feet (3X)
Ya mama, ya mama, ya mama

Verse Three: Fat Lip

Watch out, I'm thinkin about your mother to a funky beat
I went to your house, and she licked me on the cheek
I said excuse me lady, but I remember seeing you at the Palladium
way back in September
Cause you was beatboxin for Lou Rawls
In some bright red boxer drawers
You said ya moms was pretty and young
But she's old as dirt and got hair on her tongue

Refrain:

Ya moms, ya moms, she uses Brut
And I saw her ridin a horsey drinking whisky out a boot
She's got the wings and teeth of an african bat
Her middle name is Mudbone, and on top of all that

Ya mama's got a peg leg with a kickstand (3X)
Ya mama, ya mama, ya mama

Verse Four: Imani

Awwwwwwww, ya mom is so fat (how fat is she?)
We rode up on her back to get some burgers from Wendy's
and her skates went flat; I got stuck in her butt crack
They thought I was lost but I was caught by the G-strap
Heaven forbid a giant fart would give way
Cause that would blow me round the world in a day
We drove into the drive-in and she didn't have to pay
because we dressed her up to look just like a Chevrolet

Refrain:

Naked on a mountain top tootin on a flizoot
Ridin on a horse, drinkin whisky out a bizoot
With the wings and the teeth of an african bat, ba-aa-aa-at
Her middle name is Mudbone and on top of all that

Ya mama's got an afro, with a chin strap (3X)
Ya mama, ya mama, ya mama

Outro:

Ya mama got snake skin teeth
Ya mama wears coat hangers for earrings , dude she looks like.... hehehe
Ya mama was making sex threats to Ricky Bell and ****
Ya mama jacked the Kool-aid man for a sip, *****
Ya mama was walking down on Sunset with a 99 cent sign on her back
(You're a sellout) ya mama's a sellout ***** ya mama
***** ya mama did a pop tune *****
Ya mama's glasses are so thick she look into a map
and see people wavin at her
Your mother got an Ouija board on her back
Sidney with EQ and everything what he be sayin
His mother be hooked, fishin with a hook and reel at the frozen food section
Tre's mama got Playdough teeth
Ya mother be eatin daisies like Now and Laters and ****
Ya mama's an extra on the Simpsons and ****
Ya mama's so fat you can't even see her legs
it just looks like she's just gliding across the floor...