LITTLE BILLY ON...PHILOSOPHY

A teacher asks her class, "If there are 5 birds sitting on a fence and you shoot one of them, how many will be left?"

She calls on little BILLY.

He replies, "None, they will all fly away with the
first gunshot." The teacher replies, "The correct answer is 4, but I
like your thinking."

Then little BILLY says, "I have a question for YOU.

There are 3 women sitting on a bench having ice cream:
-One is delicately licking the sides of the triple scoop of ice cream.
-The second is gobbling down the top and sucking the cone.
-The third is biting off the top of the ice cream.

Which one is married?"

The teacher, blushing a great deal, replies, "Well, I suppose the one that's gobbled down the top and sucked the cone."

To which Little BILLY replied, "The correct answer is 'the one with the wedding ring on,' but I like your thinking.

LITTLE BILLY ON...GRAMMAR:

One day, during lessons on proper grammar, the teacher asked for a show hands from those who could use the word "beautiful"
in the same sentence twice.

First she called on little Suzie, who responded with, "My father bought my mother a beautiful dress and she looked beautiful in it."

"Very good, Suzie," replied the teacher. She then called on little Michael.

"My mommy planned a beautiful banquet and it turned out beautifully."

The teacher responded, "Excellent, Michael!"

Then, she reluctantly called on little BILLY.

"Last night, at the dinner table, my sister told my father that she was pregnant, and he said "Beautiful, just ****ing beautiful"!!

Little Billy is a champ

My dream is to be Little Billy.

Sex Ed

One day the teacher had to teach sex ed to her students. So she drew the male and female sex parts on the board. She then asked the students what the female parts are called.
Suzie raised her hand and said "a vagina". "
"that's right" replied the teacher.
Billy quickly raised his hand and the teacher called on him reluctanlty and he asked "I thought that was a twat, ma'am."
"No Billy it is a vagina.
Then the teacher asked if anyone knew what the male organ is called.
Greg raised his hand and said "that is called a penis, ma'am."
"Correct Greg" said the teacher.
Billy's hand again shot in the air, "what now Billy?" said the teacher.
"How come you only drew one on the man?" said billy.
The teacher replied, "because men only have one of them.
"Not my Daddy" said Billy. "He has two of them, One that is small and soft that he pees with and one that is really long and hard that he brushes my mommys teeth with."

The last one was the funniest.....