Sometimes when I'm driving behind a big cement truck, I think of how the valve on the truck could suddenly open, spilling cement over my car, encasing me inside and leaving me to slowly fall into an oxygen-deprived coma, from which I awaken five years later to find my wife remarried to my best friend. But then I think maybe I'm just being paranoid, because what are the odds of *that* happening again?

Jack Handy

I do alot of deep thinking.

Ballet is a lot like boxing, only with choreography, and the dancers hit each other.

*Thinks deep

God damn it Blake. See what you made me do!

If you define cowardice as running away at the first sign of danger, screaming and tripping and begging for mercy, then yes, Mr. Brave man, I guess I'm a coward.

Jack Handy....

Most people don't realize that large pieces of coral, which have been painted brown and attached to the skull by common wood screws, can make a child look like a deer.

Jack Handy....

Originally posted by kaps
If you define cowardice as running away at the first sign of danger, screaming and tripping and begging for mercy, then yes, Mr. Brave man, I guess I'm a coward.

Jack Handy....


Damn, I found that really funny!!! LMFAO!!!

I love to go to the schoolyard and watch the children jump and scream, but they don't know I'm using blanks.

Jack Handey.....

Originally posted by kaps
I love to go to the schoolyard and watch the children jump and scream, but they don't know I'm using blanks.

Jack Handey.....


Hmmm, that'd be funny to try at the office too!

Werd

yeah I always think really deep.

its like, when I'm thinking of how to start my mafia family, I try to imagine I just killed someone and I try to think of how to dispose of my firearm in a manner which does not leave any traces to me.

Usually, I just think, I'll just have special tape that leaves no prints, and then I'll wing it into a drain. Then other time, I think the best bet is to find a foundry, and then wing it into the foundry. So the other day I began looking for foundries and I workout out "winging" points and how I'd get out of the place in the quickest time with the least possibility of being seen.

So now I gotta find someone to kill.

I hope if dogs ever take over the world, and they chose a king, they don't just go by size, because I bet there are some Chihuahuas with some good ideas.

I'd like to see a nude opera, because when they hit those high notes, I bet you can really see it in those genitals

I think a good gift for the President would be a chocolate revolver. and since he is so busy, you'd probably have to run up to him real quick and give it to him.

If trees could scream, would we be so cavalier about cutting them down? We might if they screamed all the time for no good reason...

Originally posted by Magic Man
yeah I always think really deep.

its like, when I'm thinking of how to start my mafia family, I try to imagine I just killed someone and I try to think of how to dispose of my firearm in a manner which does not leave any traces to me.

Usually, I just think, I'll just have special tape that leaves no prints, and then I'll wing it into a drain. Then other time, I think the best bet is to find a foundry, and then wing it into the foundry. So the other day I began looking for foundries and I workout out "winging" points and how I'd get out of the place in the quickest time with the least possibility of being seen.

So now I gotta find someone to kill.

Sometimes when I feel like killing someone, I do a little trick to calm myself down. I'll go over to the person's house and ring the doorbell. When the person comes to the door, I'm gone, but you know what I've left on the porch? A jack-o-lantern with a knife stuck in the side of its head with a note that says "You." After that I usually feel a lot better, and no harm done.

Marta was watching the football game with me when she said, "You know, most of these sports are based on the idea of one group protecting its territory from invasion by another group." "Yeah," I said, trying not to laugh. Girls are funny.

Jack Handy...

To me, it's a good idea to always carry two sacks of something when you walk around. That way, if anybody says, "Hey, can you give me a hand?" you can say, "Sorry, got these sacks."

If you're in a war, instead of throwing a hand grenade at the enemy, throw one of those small pumpkins. Maybe it'll make everyone think how stupid war is, and while they are thinking, you can throw a real grenade at them.

Anytime I see something screech across a room and latch onto someone's neck, and the guy screams and tries to get it off, I have to laugh, because what is that thing.

this is why you're the POST PIMP

OK, I'll say it: THIS THREAD RULES!

Originally posted by Curly Howard
this is why you're the POST PIMP

Yes, I am the post pimp, no TTTs, no LOLs, or +1s, to be a true post pimp you have to add substance to your posts.....

Originally posted by kaps
Yes, I am the post pimp, no TTTs, no LOLs, or +1s, to be a true post pimp you have to add substance to your posts.....

Dammit just when I was good at something. Lmao

word

werd

Sometimes I like to give death threats to people for fun. I rarely ever carry thru with them tho :)

that's swell........how come you didn't tell US about speaking to Nog? We aren't good enough?

no...the drugs wore off and i realised how ****ing rediculous I sounded :(

Really.......I thought it was great

I wonder... how in the **** can hotmails servers be to ****ing busy? How in the hell could microsoft let that happen?

I tried to take over the world once. I should have really thought that out better.

Do you ever wonder how it would be to be a character form say Cowboy Bebop? I love that stupid cartoon I would love to be like Spyke. I want to be a bounty hunter so bad that would kick ass!

I heard you can actually go through some kind of classes and training to be a become a certified bounty hunter. Isn't that bad ass? I wonder how that type of life would be. ****ing hoes, killing people, and killing people.

here Magic Man don't be shy........I'll share it with everyone

Originally posted by Magic Man
OMG! I just spoke to NOGUIERA!
I was watching the Sapp vs Nog fight again and when he won I told him "GREAT JOB HOMEBOY!". And then he smiled!

How cool

Whenever I drive for long periods of time I always have good deep thoughts. I get so caught up with my thoughts that I forget I am driving but no matter how long I was wondering off I don't crash it's wierd. It's like my subconcious takes over and the drive seems to go by really fast. Maybe I should be careful.

my thoughts take over and about 3 months ago i rear ended another car at about 50 mph. I think the other car was going about 35 mph, but hell i don't know. Dumb ****er took off and i didn't bother trying to find him.

Originally posted by Magic Man
yeah I always think really deep.

its like, when I'm thinking of how to start my mafia family, I try to imagine I just killed someone and I try to think of how to dispose of my firearm in a manner which does not leave any traces to me.

Usually, I just think, I'll just have special tape that leaves no prints, and then I'll wing it into a drain. Then other time, I think the best bet is to find a foundry, and then wing it into the foundry. So the other day I began looking for foundries and I workout out "winging" points and how I'd get out of the place in the quickest time with the least possibility of being seen.

So now I gotta find someone to kill.

I'm glad I'm not the only one that does this too!

Acid or chlorine was the best one I came up with. Fill a bath with a strong acid and that would take care of a corpse. Another alternative to dispose of the weapon would be a fire or furnace. Something that can reduce the focker to slag and destroy any physical evidence. My dad suggested an icepick once but surely that would leave DNA samples.

My deep thoughts also revolve around minimising the use of the toilet paper when I take a poop to maximise the dollar value per sheet.

- The Jake