An international organisation run by retarded chimps. No joke. Be wary relying on their services...

Arju's mum has a penchant for sending food products via. UPS, which means that we get billed for Quarantine inspections (we told her to send it via. parcel post but anyway... ) Quarantine inspect it, bill UPS. UPS pay it and then invoice you. So if you need to send food products, send them by regular parcel post. Not UPS. Hell send stuff by any means BUT UPS ok??? Read on and you'll understand.

Going back nearly three months ago, we got one of these invoices. So I call UPS to pay it, leave a message, nobody calls me back and that is that. I forget all about it.

Then I get a notice of collection - like wtf? Nobody called me, no reminders, nothing. So I make ****ing ****loads of calls into Sydney to pay the focker in an attempt to speak to a human being with a clue! In the meanwhile I sent emails to the email address given in Australia for UPS from their website.

I thought I would include their transcript to illustrate the lunacy of this organisation.

First my bounceback:
> > -----Original Message-----
> > From: System Administrator [mailto:postmaster@ups.com]
> > Sent: Monday, 17 February 2003 1:57 PM
> > To: thejake@**********
> > Subject: Undeliverable: ATTN: Credit/Accounts Department.
> >
> > Your message
> >
> > To: enquiryau@ups.com
> > Subject: ATTN: Credit/Accounts Department.
> > Sent: Sun, 16 Feb 2003 21:55:06 -0500
> >
> > did not reach the following recipient(s):
> >
> > ENQUIRYAU@US.UPS.COM on Sun, 16 Feb 2003 21:56:47 -0500
> > The recipient name is not recognized

So I email their web administrator:

> > To: <webmaster@ups.com>
> >
> > I need an email address for the accounts department in UPS
> > Australia.
> Do
> > you have one there please?
> >
> > The email address on your website did not work:
> > http://www.ups.com/asia/au/about/engcontact.html
> >
> > This should be corrected asap.
> >
> > Thanks

The official reply from UPS:

> From: Customer Service [mailto:customerservice@ups.com]
> Sent: Tuesday, 18 February 2003 2:53 AM
> To: thejake@************
> Subject: UT20030216_0000001413 FW: Undeliverable: ATTN: Credit/Accounts
> Department.
>
> Please include the following line in all replies.
> Email Reference Number: UT20030216_0000001413
>
>
> Dear The Jake:
>
> Thank you for your inquiry. We apologize for any inconvenience caused
> in this matter. Unfortunately, we do not have an e-mail address for
> UPS in Australia at this time. They can be contacted
> at:
>
> UPS PTY LTD.
> 247 King Street
> Mascot Sydney 2020 AU
> Phone: 61 2 96671333
> Fax: 61 2 9313 1650
>
> Thank you for using UPS Internet Services.
>
> John

Incredible! Not sure I'm reading this bunch of bull****, I figure I'll give them another chance to reiterate that response:

> Hi John,
>
> Just to clarify this so I have not misinterpreted this response, you
> are telling me that UPS - a multinational corporation, has no email
> address whatsoever for their offices located within Australia?
>
> I appreciate any clarification on this point.
>
> Thank you

Sure enough, they don't...
(the most recent reply):

Please include the following line in all replies.
Email Reference Number: UT20030216_0000001413


Dear The Jake:

Thank you for your response. We apologize for any inconvenience caused in this matter. At this time we do not have an e-mail address for UPS in Australia. All the contact information that we have for UPS in Australia was provide in our previous e-mail.

We hope this information proves useful. If we may be of future assistance, please feel free to contact us.

Thank you for using UPS Internet Services.

John




So in addition to the fact that a multinational corporation has no email and no way of communicating with it's offices internationally (oh my, how ever do they track packages?) they fail to return calls, notify outstanding debits, and provide alternative means of payment (1. is credit card over the phone which I hate doing, especially when I get billed at interstate STD rates for the privelage of doing so and 2. money order - and I don't have a chequebook). No BPAY or anything like that. How ****ing gay is that???

- The Jake

I hate UPS
They never deliver on time

I hate UPS too.....

They also ****ed up the delivery of our wedding invitations which caused a major ****ing headache for us.

Like major.

Like so major that people didn't get their invites until anywhere from 5-1 day BEFORE the wedding..... :mad: :cuss:

- The Jake

We need t keep all the hate in one thread
open the hatred thread

4 kgs of C4 and they would be a distant memory

I hate that Chris said to keep the hate in one thred

all the hate

I'd like to plant C4 in their building. Or douse the parcel sections with talcum powder and scream ANTHRAX ALERT or something equally amusing.... bunch of fockers they are.... I hate them.

- The Jake

LMAO ANTHRAX ALERT!!

You should get the Dr Evil av back!

Perhaps Seldom... but as an evil overlord I would need to take over UPS. I mean they're one of the few organisations that are truly evil enough to assist in my plans for global domination.

UPS and Telstra... that is how I shall build my evil empire.

- The Jake

hehehehehehehe....those two would be a great start. Get a major pharmaceutical company on board and you are laughing...also the Subway people. They must be evil for subjecting us to all the fatass Jarrod ads

At UPS our modo is "Sooner or later"

Originally posted by seldomTap
hehehehehehehe....those two would be a great start. Get a major pharmaceutical company on board and you are laughing...also the Subway people. They must be evil for subjecting us to all the fatass Jarrod ads

True... but I then need to find a truly evil pharmaceutical organisation that represents all that is evil in the corporate world. Like Telstra, you know?

- The Jake

Easy...the people that make Viagra...old people screwing is just wrong

Originally posted by seldomTap
Easy...the people that make Viagra...old people screwing is just wrong

Yeah but one day I'll be old and I can guarantee you, I do not want to stop screwing, no matter how ugly the image of me ****ing might be.

- The Jake

Yes...but your kids will hate the idea...save them the awkward times of walking in your wrinkly ass busting moves

Nope.

If they want to inherit my evil empire, they will have to tolerate my wrinkled up butt busting moves.

- The Jake

Hahahaha...well if you are in charge of the evil company, I am sure Viagra production can continue on a limited basis...

Yes.... agreed.

Don't worry mate, I plan on achieving immortality so the probability of me having a wrinkly butt (I mean moreso than now) is very small :)

- The Jake

Good luck with the whole immortality thing...you have a good chance. Moving to LA will get you closer to Peter Pan himself (Michael jackson) he could give you some hints and pointers...

Lesson 1. Surround yourself with children. They keep you young and feel soft

Originally posted by seldomTap
Lesson 1. Surround yourself with children. They keep you young and feel soft

Ouch.

That's harsh.... hahahahahahahaa....

- The Jake

Originally posted by seldomTap
Good luck with the whole immortality thing...you have a good chance. Moving to LA will get you closer to Peter Pan himself (Michael jackson) he could give you some hints and pointers...

Lesson 1. Surround yourself with children. They keep you young and feel soft

You mean Micheal isn't a normal loving parent? Man, my world is crushed

He would like for you to visit sometime Creed...he would call you Blanket or rug or something!