The house behind mine has this ****atoo... every morning, at 6am from until 10am, this sonofa***** starts SCREETCHING LIKE A GODDAMN BANSHEE.

Ignoring is useless, **** the other day in a fit of rage, at 8am, I ran out the back and hurled a fist full of rocks at the focker to silence it (which worked I might add).

I am about to call the local council and lodge a formal complaint as this is causing serious problems for me (I called in sick today because of my ****ing throbbing headache and very broken sleep). This is causing no end of grief for Arju as well.

So I'm going to lodge this complaint with the council - after that, well, if I get no satisfaction, I'm taking the law into my own hands.

Can you people here give me some ideas what I could do/should do? Apart from a formal complaint the only thing I can think of is either a) free the bird (which is possible I think, the cage looks like it only has a latch and no lock) or b) kill the bird.

- The Jake

Kill the bird, more fun.

No point freeing the bird cause it probably has had its wings clipped and won't be able to fly away. Killing it could get messy also, and if you have been vocal in your lack of appreciation for the wake up calls...then it won't take long ofr the finger to be pointed at you.

Have you spoken to the people who own the bird? Does the bird get morning sun? If they put it to the other side of the house, or covered it up, it would probably stay quiet.

If it comes to murder, I would like to use a shotgun that fires very very fine pellets as to not damage anything else. Only problem is I have no shotgun.

I hate the idea of killing this bird, as I'm quite fond of birds and animals in general. But if it comes down to this bird or me, believe me, this ****ing animal is going dooooowwnnnnnn.

I don't want to resort to cruel methods like torture if it can be avoided.

So how would u do it gman?

- The Jake

A shotgun will 9/10 hit something else as well as your target due to the spray of the pellets. You would be better off using a decent slug gun or air rifle from a closish range

well i would let nature take its course by letting a cat get it

rat poison, bird seed what's the difference

true howard

i would kidnap the bird and let it go in an area real far away from ur house

****atoo taste like chicken

It aint the birds fault...it is natural for a bird in a cage, with clipped wings so it can't fly away to scream continually...

I agree with seldomTap. Deal with the owners. They should cover its cage at night so it's not screeching in the morning.

Originally posted by seldomTap
No point freeing the bird cause it probably has had its wings clipped and won't be able to fly away. Killing it could get messy also, and if you have been vocal in your lack of appreciation for the wake up calls...then it won't take long ofr the finger to be pointed at you.

Have you spoken to the people who own the bird? Does the bird get morning sun? If they put it to the other side of the house, or covered it up, it would probably stay quiet.

The bird's cage faces away from the rising sun, but a cloth or something might affect it.

There is the possibility it's wings could be clipped.... I dunno, good question.

No I haven't tried talking to them. They're this asian family and god knows if they even speak a word of english.... but I could give it a go.

What should I say??

That your bird is giving me the right royal ****s and I need this screeching to stop.

The worst thing I can envision is them saying "well we can't do anything about it!". That's just a copout. Then between talking to them and the local council, anything that happens to that bird will then just point back to me. So that's why I gotta be careful.

- The Jake

I used to own four parakeets and they would do the same thing around 6am. I used to cover their cage with a sheet and that solved the problem.

alka-seltzer

Originally posted by Bella
I used to own four parakeets and they would do the same thing around 6am. I used to cover their cage with a sheet and that solved the problem.

That could work...

Ok, I will talk to the family and make that suggestion.

If I get no satisfaction there, then I will complain to the council and expl. my conversation to the family.

If I get no joy there, well.... then the ****atoo will get it!

Thanks Bella.

- The Jake

since you appear to be a nice guy and don't really want to harm the bird, go up and snatch the bastard.leave the cage door open and ruffle the **** in the cage so it looks like it was tossed around.take the bird to the pet store and make up some song about how you was at the park and saw the little fella walking around.they will take it.the owners will think the bird was taken and eaten.if the wings are not cut, the ****er will fly away

Originally posted by rigid
since you appear to be a nice guy and don't really want to harm the bird, go up and snatch the bastard.leave the cage door open and ruffle the **** in the cage so it looks like it was tossed around.take the bird to the pet store and make up some song about how you was at the park and saw the little fella walking around.they will take it.the owners will think the bird was taken and eaten.if the wings are not cut, the ****er will fly away

That is another solution I was entertaining.

My only dilemma is that I live next door to a small park with lots of tall trees. I shudder at the thought of this ****ing bird taking up residence in the trees near my house....

But I quite like the idea.... thanks! :)

- The Jake

Good option Jake...councils can be a bastard to get offside here...kill the bird and it will have way too serious ramifications.

If you get no joy from the owners, take it further, but try and stay cool about it all. The cloth idea is a good one, worked with my old mans budgies.

open the cage and let a cat in your neighbors will think the cat hit the cage open this making it easier and your neighbors will not think you did it.

Pellet to the head

Well, if your wife knows karate, why doesn't she just throw a fireball at it?

why don't you move to another neighborhood and make sure that the neighbors don't own birds?

Moving out ain't an option.... least not for now. This is my parents place in Australia. When I move back to America, no worries. I don't think I'll have many ****atoos to worry about, you know?

So I'm really stuck.

Look I'm gonna go around have a chat to them later on tonight.

Wish me luck! Will keep you all posted.

- The Jake

Kill the ****ing bird, Jarrod.

Arsenic, cyanide, ammonia, rat poison... ****in christ, even something household like windex alka seltzer might do it. This is one of those times when you take the law into your own hands before the law takes you into theirs. **** process and **** passification. Kill that ****ing bird, and as you do, think of all the hours you've lost because of that ****ing thing.

Thank me later.

Okay I shot the bird. The neighbours screamed a bit so I shot them too.

No, really.

I dropped by with Arju and talked to them. They knew the bird was a pest and it's been waking them up too. They were like "Oh we'll just take it back then."

I think the parents really wanted to get rid of it but their kids loved it.

But I said there's no need for that just yet (I don't want to be responsible for breaking up any happy homes), and suggested the cloth. They said they'd try that and see how it goes.

Will keep you posted if the situation changes.

Thanks for all the good advice people.

- The Jake

Setting a Cat on it is your best bet.