Well, after many failures in person, I've tried what The Jake succeeded. I went into the "MSN Chat" to find a bunch of horny teenage girls. Picked the one I wanted, and chatted her up. Phase 1: getting her on contact list succesful. What do I do now Jake?

Find out what you have in common. Get a picture and write her a poem about how beautiful she is.

ask her if it's ok if you can get her address so you can send her tons and tons and tons and tons and tons and tons of flowers. that should get her lil cyber ***** gushin

Don't worry about the next step Luke, you'll never meet her anyway.

Well that's not fair Kimura. How come 80 year odl pervs can pull it off but I can't!?

Well I'm only 34 and all my girls have been from non internet meetings. I have never met anyone on the net and don't intend to until I kick Bzob's ass in basketball this summer.

It's the law of numbers.

You get her phone number and call a thousand times until she agrees to date you. She will either agree or file a restraining order. If it's the latter, you move onto the next one.

Remember Luke - it's a numbers game!

Good luck!

- The Jake

Send a pic Luke...and if you are too ugly to send a real pic...never mind, sned one of someone else who is better looking

ahaha, oh man, I should actually try this and post on results. Jake's approach is freaky, but I'll agree with his numbers thing. Now I have to "Internet Hoes" on the list. I'm going to smooth talk them into some hot pictures. Then its on to phase 3: get something in person.

Ok for the last time we we're not seeking a mate by on-line dating, it just happened that way. :lovers:


As for you I think it's a good idea to look. If you really find someone you think you click with, try a phone call first, then if that went well find a public place to meet, like a cafe, coffee shop or the movies.

Best of luck to you.

:)

THIS THREAD IS A JOKE FOR GOD'S SAKES!

On a more serious note, I have a good mate of mine I used to work with who just picked up chicks off IRC all the time. He just took them out, ****ed them and that was it. I remember he often had 2 dates a night too. I remember one time he had like 4-5 dates over a 3 day period!!

It's a different scene out here in Melbourne though, IRC (ie.#Melbourne) on AUSNet is quite large and there's a substantial number of clubbers and ravers online, looking to score drugs and pickup or just party.

- The Jake

Originally posted by LukeDothSucketh
ahaha, oh man, I should actually try this and post on results. Jake's approach is freaky, but I'll agree with his numbers thing. Now I have to "Internet Hoes" on the list. I'm going to smooth talk them into some hot pictures. Then its on to phase 3: get something in person.

Best rules if you're just looking for a root online....

1) always "glove up"
2) NEVER give any personal info apart from your mobile phone number and never anything else. ****, even a fake name works.
3) NEVER take her back to your place.

If you violate any of these, you're not only stupid, you're basically setting yourself up for a relationship (not saying that's a bad thing, but like I said, it depends on what you want).

- The Jake

You know too much about this...

- The Kaps

I believe so



- The Hockeyfighter

Yeah that I do.

My only consolation is that I only did it *ONCE*....

- The Jake :)

do not listen to the jake.i will sum up my story 1 last time.all very true, i have pics and letters to prove it.i met a 26 year old girl on the net.she was from korea.born there, raised there.she flew to chicago and i picked her up.she was here for 17 days.we went to florida, went sight seeing, and had sex many, many itmes.i paid for only 1 movie, she paid for everything.she flew back to korea and i never heard form her again.


tell you how it's done.it's simple.BECOME WHATEVER PERSON SHE WANTS/NEEDS/LIKES.if she likes romance movies, so do you.if she has a sad story about an ex, so do you.......good luck my friend

Write a book.

No ok. You're right rigid.

I know nothing about internet relationships.


- The Jake

Originally posted by The Jake
No ok. You're right rigid.

I know nothing about internet relationships.


- The Jake

i was making a joke man.you need to chill the **** out dude.i know what the deal is with you and your internet relationship.
that is why i said don't listen.you took it to the max so of course you know.i thought you would have known i was joking.

Originally posted by rigid
i was making a joke man.you need to chill the **** out dude.i know what the deal is with you and your internet relationship.
that is why i said don't listen.you took it to the max so of course you know.i thought you would have known i was joking.

NO DAMN YOU I WAS JOKING TOO!!

- The Jake (**** I hate the 'net. it doesn't convey sarcasm well.... as a matter of fact, why the **** do I work for an ISP.... ?)

you're an intercourse sex provider.

Yes.

- The Jake